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Episode Transcript: Hocus Pocus

2009-03-01T15:12:18Z

70.176.179.82:

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Episode Article: [[Hocus Pocus (Episode)|Hocus Pocus]]

==Cractreres==

*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Mr. Magic]]
*[[Charlie]]

==Dialogue==

SpongeBob: (holding a pan over the stove) Come on, stovie, pop that corn! (popcorn bag grows enormously huge) Get ready, Gary. (trips over Gary landing in the chair) Incoming! (popcorn bag explodes everywhere) 

Gary: Meow. (popcorn ricochets everywhere and piles up to SpongeBob’s waist) 

SpongeBob: Popcorn is served! (eats a piece of popcorn while music plays on TV) 

Car Washer: That, bro, is trouble at any car wash. 

TV Announcer: We will return to "Bikini Bottom Car Wash" after these messages. 

Commercial Announcer: Are you boring? 

Charlie: Yes, yes I am. 

Commercial Announcer: When friends describe you, do they use words like... (words appear as they are being said) "dull!"
or "drab!"? 

Charlie: (laughs) Don't forget "platitudinous". (word appears over his head. Mystical head floats beside Charlie) 

Commercial Announcer: Yes, that too, Charlie. But what if I told you that you can change all that with the magic
of...magic! (turns Charlie into a magician) 

Charlie: (laughs) I look like some kind of magician. Now people won't ignore me. 

Commercial Announcer: Let's hope not, Charlie. With my "Mister Magic Magical Magic Kit", even you can impress and amaze
your friends. 

SpongeBob: (holds on to the TV) I want to impress and amaze my friends. 

Commercial Announcer: Just send $19.95 to me, Mister Magic. (SpongeBob puts an envelope into the mail slot then takes the
post office mail can and stuffs it in 'Outgoing Mail') 

Narrator: 4 to 6 weeks later. 

Mailman: One magic kit and another one of these yellow things. (stuffs both into SpongeBob’s mailbox then drives off) 

SpongeBob: (gets out of his mailbox and rips the packaging off the box that came in the mail) Here it is: Mister Magic’s
Magical Magic Kit. (opens the box and gasps) Look at all this! A book of spells, my very own wand of whimsy, the beard of
Rasputin, and, of course, the all-important license to practice magic. (notices Squidward to the side slurping a drink)
Squidward! He'll appreciate my newly delivered skill. 

Squidward: Brine soda, low-fast seaweed crisps, cool jazz. (eats a seaweed crisp) Mm, mm, Squidward you have done it. You
have officially spoiled yourself rotten. 

SpongeBob: Well, let the rotting continue, friend, while I impress and amaze you with...magic! 

Squidward: Magic? Can you make yourself disappear, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: (laughs) Silly Squidward. I won't learn vanishing spells until I become a level 10 wizard. (Squidward's eye
twitches) No, I better start with something simpler. (gets out a deck of cards) Say card conjuring. (Squidward is now
depressed more than ever) Here, hold this simple, playing card while I transform it into a magic playing card before your
very eyes. Let's see... (reads his book of spells) step 1... 

Squidward: (sighs) This can't possibly end soon. 

SpongeBob: Which brings us to... step three. Juggle something. Well, if you insist Mister Magic. (juggles the three balls
in and out of his holes on his body) 

Squidward: (steps onto the bus that just pulled up) I don't care where I'm going, just take me away from here. (bus drives
off) 

SpongeBob: Then take one card and shove it in your ear. (does so. A car drives by with the dad in the drivers seat and his
son in the passenger seat crying) 

Kid: But I don't like pistachio! 

Tom: Then why did you ask for it? (drives into a bump which causes the ice cream to fly out the car and into Squidward's
lawn chair. Kid continues to cry) 

SpongeBob: And finally, say the words "Hobris-Pobris". (gasps) Squidward! My simple card-trick has turned you into an ice-
cream cone. Which means...I am a level ten wizard! I suppose I should change you back to squid form. (looks at his book of
spells) Presto! (nothing happens) Uh, let's see. Alakazam! (gasps) Abracadabra. (gasps) Okilee-dokilee. Hobra-cobra. Oh!
Open sesame. Change-o back-o to Squidward-o, please-o? Oh, I am so sorry, Squidward. (sniffs) I've transformed you into a
delicious dairy dessert and I can't change you back! There, there, Squidward. There is no need to cry. I promise you will
continue your normal life despite the fact that you are now edible. (cut to "The Reef" where Spongebob and Squidward, as an
ice-cream cone, are watching a movie. Ice-cream cone tilts over into SpongeBob’s arm and makes him smile. Cut to SpongeBob
reading Squidward a story. Cut to the beach where SpongeBob and Squidward are lying on a towel trying to get a tan.
SpongeBob looks over and notices melting ice cream cone) Whoa oh! (a beach goer, trying to catch a frisbee, slips in the
ice-cream cone. SpongeBob screams then runs over to Squidward) Speak to me. Speak! (breathes heavily as he runs to his
house and puts the cone in the freezer) Hey Squid, are you okay? (closes freezer door then reopens it) Hey Squid, are you
still okay? (winks then closes door and reopens it again screaming then laughing) Hey Squidward, I got something for you!
Someone to keep you company in that drab ol' freezer. (set a pink ice-cream cone next to Squidward) Oh, aren't they cute? I
promise to stand by as an eternal guard over my buddy. 

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing? 

SpongeBob: I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert. 

Patrick: That's awful. How tragic. Poor Squidward. 

SpongeBob: It's all my fault. 

Patrick: Did you say frozen dessert? (takes the green ice-cream cone out of the freezer) 

SpongeBob: Yeah. I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. (cries) 

Patrick: Oh...soft serve. (licks ice cream cone) 

SpongeBob: Patrick! Stop eating Squidward! 

Patrick: Oh, sorry. (licks it a few more times) 

SpongeBob: Patrick! (Patrick licks it again) Pat...!! 

Patrick: But he's so tasty! (licks it many more times before SpongeBob takes it) 

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, don't you understand?! This isn't just your ordinary ice-cream cone. 

Patrick: It's pistachio. 

SpongeBob: No!!! It's Squidward!! (ice cream begins to melt) And no matter what happens, I promised him that I would watch
over him to ensure his soft, frozen life is unchanged. (Patrick is licking the melted ice cream off the floor) Patrick!
Squidward has melted! Quick, call the police. What am I going to do?! Oh, Neptune, it's all my fault! What have I done?! What
have I done?! Aah! (hits self with the magic kit) What have I done?! Aah! (hits self with the magic kit) What have I done?!
Aah! (hits self with the magic kit) It's all your fault! (throws the magic kit on the ground and stomps on it) Curse you,
Mister Magic's Magical Magic Kit!! Curse you!!! Hey, that's it! That's the answer to our problems! 

Patrick: Warning: From ages 9 to 99. 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, the one mystic being that can help us: Mister Magic! (cut to SpongeBob and Patrick walking down a
road) Just follow the brown-tiled road to the most mysterious mystic of them all. No one's ever seen him in person. 

Voice: Enter! (SpongeBob and Patrick walk up to a floating hat) Who dares to see Mister Magic? (SpongeBob and Patrick are
screaming) Speak up! 

SpongeBob: It is I, SpongeBob of the SquarePants, Magician Level One. And I have turned my friend into ice-cream. 

Mister Magic: Good job. 

SpongeBob: Well, thank you, but well, I can't change him back. 
Mister Magic: Hmmm, um, well, have you ever thought of a different hobby? 

SpongeBob: I need your help to change him back. 

Mister Magic: My help? Uh, no thank you. 

SpongeBob: But if you don't my friend will be a cone forever. 
Mister Magic: Sorry, I... umm... I'm out to lunch, that's it. 

SpongeBob: I'll wait. 
Mister Magic: I'm on a two-year lunch. 

SpongeBob: No, please. 

Mister Magic: Silence! (Patrick notices something and walks to it) 

SpongeBob: But, sir, no one else has your power of sorcery. (Patrick opens the curtain to reveal someone behind it making
Mister Magic noises) 

Mister Magic: Thank...you. 

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, there's a guy over here talking into a tubey thing. 
Mister Magic: Uhh, ignore your friend. The fish you see is only an illusion. 

Patrick: Why's he saying the same thing Mister Magic's saying? 

SpongeBob: I don't know, Patrick. Who are you, good sir? 

Fish #1: Well, I... uh... I'm Horace B. Magic. 

SpongeBob: Are you Mister Magic? 

Fish #1: (chuckles) Technically, yes. But the only magic around here is the magic of business. 

SpongeBob: Does that mean you can't change my friend back? 

Fish #1: (chuckles) I'm, I'm afraid not. So sorry about that, laddie. Your refund check is in the mail. 

SpongeBob: I don't need a refund, I want my friend back! This isn't about money. You're nothing but a fake. Just a lying,
corporate businessman, tainting the purity of magic with your corrupt commercial ways. You have ruined my faith in the
magical arts. (screaming cry...) 

Fish #1: Security. (SpongeBob and Patrick are booted out. Cut to both of them by Squidward's lawn chair with SpongeBob still crying) 

SpongeBob: What are we going to do about Squidward? 

Patrick: We could always eat him. I'm kind of hungry. (stomach growls) 

SpongeBob: Mister Magic was a fake and all his magic stuff is fake! All those magic words, they were fake. Yacky, shmacky,
bappy, dappy, doppy, goffy, boffy... (speaks gibberish as a bus drives up and Squidward steps off) 

Squidward: Eww. (throws the jar with the cone in it away) What are you doing, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Squidward! You're back. The magic words worked. (puts on his magician hat) I really am magical after all. Can I
turn you into something else, now? (motorcycle approaches) 

Squidward: Hey, stop! (motorcycle stops and Squidward jumps on it) Get me out of here! 

Patrick: (stomach growls) Hey Spongebob? I'm still hungry. Can you turn me into a jar of mayonnaise so I can eat myself? 

SpongeBob: Sure, buddy. Patrick-a mayonnaise-icka. (Patrick is now a jar of mayonnaise)

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Krabs à la Mode

2009-03-01T15:10:41Z

70.176.179.82:

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Episode Article: [[Krabs a la Mode]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Karen]]

==Dialogue==

Narrator: It is a cold and windy day. Bikini Bottom is covered with goose bumps. 

Squidward: Oh, it's freezing in here. 

SpongeBob: Not if you get up and exercise! Hop, two. Hop, two. Yes, sir, my buns are nice and toasty. (turns around to show two Krabby Patties on his behind) 

Squidward: I'm so glad I don't eat here. (SpongeBob and Squidward shiver as a gusty wind blows through again) 

Squidward: Oh, how cold does Krabs keep this place, anyway? (looks at the thermostat) 62 degrees? Oh, that cheapskate! I'm gonna start it to a toasty 63. (turns it to 63 but an alarm goes off. Mr. Krabs busts down his door) 

Mr. Krabs: Who... touched... me thermostat? (everyone, including SpongeBob, points at Squidward) 

Squidward: (at SpongeBob) Oh, thanks a... (Mr. Krabs grabs him by the nose) 

SpongeBob: You're welcome, Squidward. 

Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, you're always going on about your book club. Read this. 

Squidward: (reads sign above thermostat) "Do Not Touch Thermostat. Ever!!" (Mr. Krabs puts the temperature back on 62 degrees) 

Mr. Krabs: Heat costs money! There are two ways to get on my bad side, boys. I don't like kids playing in me yard, and nobody but me touches me thermostat. 

Squidward: That's totally selfish! 

SpongeBob: Yeah, your yard is really fun! There are kids playing on it right now. 

Mr. Krabs: What? (kids are playing ball, flying kites, and jumping rope in Mr. Krabs' front yard) Hey, you kids get off of my lawn. (Mr. Krabs runs out of the restaurant. Plankton is watching all of this through a straw) 

Plankton: That's right, run, Krabs. For I have found your Achilles heel. I'll freeze you out of business, and I'll do it using your thermostat! (laughs maniacally until an alarm goes off) What the...? Oh, no. Code red! Abandon ship! Ah! (an old fish sucks Plankton through the straw and into his belly) No matter. In four to six hours, I will have my revenge. (laughs maniacally. It's now closing time) 

Squidward: I'm going to go recover from hypothermia. 

SpongeBob: Hippo what-ia? What does that mean? 

Mr. Krabs: It means he's a big fat cry baby. 

Old Fish: (flushes the toilet and walks to the doors but can't get out) Locked in again. 

Plankton: That crusty old barnacle might keep me from the secret formula, but I'd like to see him serve a krabby patty when I'm done with this place. (turns on sink faucet) In to every life, a little rain must fall. Krabs, it's just business. (opens up the freezer) Well, maybe it is personal. (turns down the thermostat) I'm touching your thermostat! I'm touching your thermostat! (cut to Mr Krabs' house where he is sleeping)

Mr. Krabs: Someone... touching... thermostat. (cut to next day with Squidward and SpongeBob walking to work) 

Squidward: I meant to bring a sweater. It's colder than yesterday. 

SpongeBob: That's why I wore mittens. (wearing a mitten on each eyelash) Mm. Toasty. 

Squidward: Huh? (Krusty Krab is frozen) 

Mr. Krabs: Morning, boys. Lock's a bit sticky this morning. (opens doors to see the whole place frozen) Is it cold in here or is it just me? Well, get to work. (goes into his office) 

Squidward: What? 

SpongeBob: Aye aye, Mr. Krabs. (slips and slides all over the place, including into Squidward) Pardon me. (Squidward slides into Mr. Krabs) 

Mr. Krabs: All right, quit clowning around and get to work. 

SpongeBob: Yes sir. 

Squidward: As soon as you turn the heat up. 

Mr. Krabs: The temperature stays at 62 degrees. 

Squidward: There's icicles hanging from the ceiling! 

Mr. Krabs: I don't care if Santa Claus and Jack Frost are having ice cream cones. Don't... touch... the thermostat! (icicles from the ceiling break off and fall) 

Plankton: (spying through his telescope) I knew you'd be too stubborn to turn the heat up. Let's see how long you keep those customers when you give them the cold shoulder. (customers are waiting for food but Squidward can't move with a tray of burgers in his hand or he will fall) 

Mr. Krabs: Quit your lollygagging and get a move on. (slips and falls, tossing the patties off the plate) 

Squidward: Order up. 

Customer: Let's get out of here. 

Plankton: Yes, flee that frozen wasteland. Warmth and joy have left your lives. (his giant telescope looks at a fish walking by) Hey, buddy, you want to eat the Chum Bucket? (fish runs off screaming) Fine! At least Krabs' place is deserted. Hey! The customers are coming back. (customers are walking into the Krusty Krab with warmer clothes on) I don't understand. What's bringing them back? (SpongeBob is skating on frozen patties) What the...? 

Mr. Krabs: Just put those patties back when you're done. 

SpongeBob: Can do, Mr. Krabs. 

Squidward: I'm really glad I don't eat here. 

SpongeBob: Order up! 

Customer #2: Where's my food? (patty enters his mouth) Mm. (patties enter everyone else's mouth) 

Old Fish #2: I want my Krabby Flabby! 

SpongeBob: Coming right up, sir. (SpongeBob hits a patty off of Squidward's behind and into the customer's mouth, sending him into the wall and sliding onto the floor) 

Old Fish #2: Delicious! (everyone cheers) 

Customer #3: Wow, that looks like fun. I'll have two Krabby Patties but don't cook them. 

Customer #4: I'll have two frozen Krabby Patties, too. 

SpongeBob: Yes, sir. 

Customer #5: I want Patty Skates! 

Customer #6: I want two patties, now. 

Mr. Krabs: It's beautiful. I'm selling twice as many patties and I don't even have to cook them. This is the happiest, and most cost-effective day of me whole life. (hugs all the money) 

Plankton: No! How is this possible? I freeze his place solid and he turns it into an ice rink. He's making more money than ever. 

Karen: That's because, unlike you, he's a good business man. 

Plankton: Well, if it isn't the wind beneath my wings. 

Karen: I don't understand why you don't just steal a Krabby Patty in all that confusion. 

Plankton: I'll be right back. (chuckles) 

Karen: (sighs) I don't know why I encourage him. (inside the Krusty Krab, people are ice skating, playing hockey, and riding in the clamboni) 

Mr. Krabs: This is fantastic. The local hockey team is paying me to practice here. 

SpongeBob: Coming through! (skates by Patrick, who has his tongue stuck to a pole) Hi, Patrick. 

Patrick: (mumbles) Hi, SpongeBob. (Gary, dressed as a referee, blows his whistle and throws the patty in the air. It hits the ground buts slides towards the door) 

Hockey Player: Hey, where'd the puck go? (SpongeBob squints his eyes to see Plankton carrying the patty) 

SpongeBob: Holy shrimp! Plankton! (yells) 

Plankton: I did it. I finally got a Krabby Patty. (SpongeBob puts his spatula down to block Plankton) 

SpongeBob: Not quite, Plankton. You'll have to get past me, first. 

Hockey Player: There it is. That little square guy has it. 

Teammate: Get him. (SpongeBob tries to scurry but the hockey team tackles him. The other hockey player slapsticks the patty) 

SpongeBob: You're mine now, Plankton! (patty flies into his face) You won't get away with this, Plankton. 

Plankton: Hey, SpongeBob, long time no see. What've you been up to? How was your weekend? 

SpongeBob: Oh, my weekend was fabulous. Thank you for asking. Patrick and I went jellyfishing but I lost my net. So, I tried to borrow one from Squidward, but he didn't have one. And then when he yelled at me, he swallowed a bug. (laughs) Swallowed a bug. 

Plankton: Fascinating. Well, got to go. (takes patty and runs) 

SpongeBob: Hey! 

Plankton: Better luck next time, SpongeBob. 

Hockey Player #2: There's the puck, eh? Get it. 

Plankton: Uh-oh. (runs) Whoa! (Squidward skates by and dances in a yellow leotard. SpongeBob skates by him, he gets angry. The hockey team skates by him and runs him over) 

SpongeBob: Hold it right there, Mister. (two hockey players run into SpongeBob. Plankton tries running away again but gets hit by a hockey stick again. SpongeBob tries to get the patty but is getting hit by the hockey team over and over. Squidward is getting run over by everyone. Plankton gets hit towards the door) 

Plankton: Yes, I'm going to make it. (lands in front of the door but when the hockey team and SpongeBob collide with each other, it sends Plankton and the patty into the air then back down) 

SpongeBob: Got you, Plankton. 

Plankton: On the contrary. It is ''I'' who has you. (rides the clamboni) 

SpongeBob: (gasps) The clamboni! (the clamboni runs into him, carrying him along) 

Plankton: (laughing maniacally) Run, you fools. Run! (Plankton manages to take along the entire hockey team, SpongeBob,

Squidward, and Patrick on the clamboni) It's working. I'm actually going to get a Krabby Patty. (clamobni stops because of a huge pile up at the door) Come on, get out of the way! You're blocking the exit. (clamboni shuts down) No! No! (cries) 

Mr. Krabs: I'll take that. (grabs patty) Brilliany idea to block the exit with your body, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Um, thank you, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: (jumps off the clamboni) You lose again, Plankton. 

Plankton: I'm not giving up yet, Krabs. I've still got my secret weapon. (jumps on the thermostat) The thermostat! 

Mr. Krabs: The thermostat. 

Plankton: That's right, Krabs. It was I who froze the Krusty Krab. (rips off the paper that says "62º") See? 

Mr. Krabs: (gasps) You've gone too far this time, Plankton. You can pound me employees, (punches SpongeBob in the gut) try to destroy me restaurant, but nobody messes with me thermostat. (boxing bell rings as Mr. Krabs hurries over to Plankton but Plankton changes the thermostat to above boiling, making the ice melt. Mr. Krabs drops into the water. Then Plankton turns it back to below freezing, which causes Mr. Krabs to freeze, too) 

Plankton: You see, Krabs, you can't defeat me. (turns the thermostat to hot and cold, making everyone freeze. Accidentally lets go of the thermostat when it's hot and drops into some water. Mr. Krabs walks up to the thermostat and changes it to freezing to freeze Plankton. Cut to later in the day where the ice rink has turned into a swimming pool for customers) 

SpongeBob: Here's your Krabby Patty and lemonade, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Thank you, lad. (sees Plankton in one of the ice cubes) Well, well, if it isn't Plankton. You know, I should thank you. With the ice rink and now the swimming pool gimmick, I'm making more money than I ever did with the old Krusty Krab. Hey, you got any more good ideas? (takes a sip of his drink. Plankton screams)
{{Template:Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]
{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Welcome to the Chum Bucket

2009-03-01T15:09:00Z

70.176.179.82:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Der Stellvertreter]]
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Gary Takes A Bath|Gary Takes A Bath]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Frankendoodle|Frankendoodle]]
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Episode Article: [[Welcome to the Chum Bucket]]

==Characters==
*[[Plankton]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Robot SpongeBob]]

==Dialogue==
(The Krusty Krab at night. The lights are still on) 

Mr. Krabs: Come on SpongeBob, it's quitting time. (the lights turn off and Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob walk out) I've got a card game tonight. (he locks the doors) 

SpongeBob: Who're you playing cards with, Mr. Krabs? (we see the Chum Bucket across the street, with its lights still on) 

Mr. Krabs: I'm going over to the Chum Bucket to play with Plankton. (SpongeBob gasps) 

SpongeBob: Plankton! (a thought bubble appears over SpongeBob's head with Plankton inside) But Mr. Krabs, he's your arch-enemy. (he picks up a Krabby Patty) He's been trying to steal the Krabby Patty formula for years. (the Plankton in the thought bubble sees the Krabby Patty and goes to get it, but SpongeBob swats him with a fly swatter) 

Plankton: Ouch. (the thought bubble disappears) 

SpongeBob: Why would you play cards with him? 

Mr. Krabs: Between you and me, Plankton is the worst card player in Bikini Bottom! (cut to him and Plankton holding cards and a giant stack of money on the table) Why, I've been taking him to the cleaners every Thursday night for fifteen years! (Mr. Krabs puts his cards down on the table and rakes in his money with his claws. Back to the present, Mr. Krabs' eyes have turned to dollar signs) I never lose! (the two start laughing and walk off their separate ways. Cut to morning where Mr. Krabs walks to work crying, and SpongeBob walks in laughing) 

SpongeBob: Taking him to the cleaners, that a hot one! (Mr. Krabs leans against the Krusty Krab doors) How'd the card game go last night, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: I lost. 

SpongeBob: Barnacles, Mr. Krabs. How much money did you lose? 

Mr. Krabs: I didn't lose any money. (he sheds away a tear) I lost... 

SpongeBob: Don't tell me you lost the Krusty Krab! 

Mr. Krabs: I lost... (SpongeBob grabs him) 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, please tell me you didn't lose the Krabby Patty secret formula! 

Mr. Krabs: I lost... (he points to SpongeBob) you! 

SpongeBob: What? 

Mr. Krabs: I bet your contract and I lost. (SpongeBob stares blankly, then laughs) 

SpongeBob: Good one, Mr. Krabs. Well, I got to make those Krabby Patties. (he begins to walk to the door, but Mr. Krabs' claw stops him. (after continually walking and getting nowhere, he falls to the floor) 

Mr. Krabs: I'm afraid you don't work here anymore. (Squidward runs out the door to the two) 

Squidward: Please tell me this isn't a joke. 

SpongeBob: Go on, Mr. Krabs. Tell him. Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke. (Plankton walks over) 

Plankton: As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking. (he points at SpongeBob) You work for me now, SpongeBob! (he whips out a bucket with the initials "CB" on it) Time to put on the official Chum Bucket bucket helmet. (Plankton jumps on SpongeBob's head, kicks off the Krusty Krew hat, and puts the bucket on his head. SpongeBob screams and runs to Mr. Krabs, knocking Plankton and the bucket off) 

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs! I don't want to work for him! (he tugs at Krabs' shirt collar) I want to work for you here at the Krusty Krab! (he and Krabs start crying loudly and hug) 

Mr. Krabs: I'm sorry, boy! It's all my fault! 

Plankton: (sobs): What kind of cold, heartless person would break apart such a loving relationship? (he whips out a crowbar) I would! (he jumps up and uses the crowbar to pry SpongeBob off Krabs. SpongeBob goes flying with Mr. Krabs' arms still clung to him) 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! (he slams into a cage and Krabs' arms fly off him. Plankton walks over and shuts the door) 

Plankton: This is your greatest blunder, Krabs! For 15 years, I’ve been throwing those card games just waiting for you to slip up! I may not have the precious Krabby Patty secret formula but I’ve got the next best thing: the guy who makes them! (a propeller emerges from the cage) I'm gonna run you out of business, Krabs. (the propeller spins and pilots SpongeBob into the Chum Bucket) 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! (he cries) Can I have my arms back? (Plankton walks over and throws the arms on Krabs' head. Cut to the cage hovering over a spotlight and dropping SpongeBob into it) 

SpongeBob: What is this place? (the lights turn on and screens with wires and gizmos start starting up. Sponge gasps. A giant boiler turns on. SpongeBob yelps. A light turns on and a calendar entitled "Science!" appears and the photo of the month is some nerd in front of a blackboard. Sponge screams. Plankton bursts open the doors) 

Plankton: Ok, I'm ready for my Krabby Patty! (he walks over to SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: Actually, uh, Mr. Plankton, sir, I haven't, uh... 

Plankton: Perhaps you don't understand. You work for me now (he jumps onto SpongeBob's knee) and as your new boss, I command you to make me a patty this instant, or I'll be forced to remove your brain and implant it in my robot chef! (we see a giant robot that bares a slight resemblance to SpongeBob) So get cooking. (he twangs SpongeBob's nose. Later, SpongeBob is in front of a weird looking grill. He picks up a spatula with a spring end. He puts his fingers to one of the holes in the grill and steam bursts from it. SpongeBob screams. He looks at a digital sign reading "KITCHEN") 

SpongeBob: Ahh!! I'm sorry Plankton, I've tried my best. I'm not used to cooking this way! Please don't take my brain out! 

Plankton: Hold it, SpongeBob, I'm capable of compassion and understanding. 

SpongeBob: Really?! Then I would like to go back to the Krusty Krab. 

Plankton: Let's not get carried away. Now what can I do to make you more comfortable here at the Chum Bucket? 

SpongeBob: Well, I usually cook on a grill. 

Plankton: You got it! (Plankton brings a grill into the Chum Bucket) Well it wasn't easy, but here it is! One old frying grill. How about we try it out? 

SpongeBob: (gasps) It's...It's...It's just that I'm used to the grill facing that way. 

Plankton: Say no more, I'll take care of everything. (Plankton pushes the grill) How about here? 

SpongeBob: A little more to the left. 

Plankton: How's this, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Move it over a little more. 

Plankton: Here? 

SpongeBob: Keep going. 

Plankton: Here? 

SpongeBob: Almost! Just a little more, that's it perfect! Right there! I don't know, it still doesn't feel right. (Plankton gasps) 

Plankton: (cut to a blindfolded SpongeBob) Ok, you can open your eyes now! (he removes the blindfold) It's an exact replica of the Krusty Krab kitchen! 

SpongeBob: It is! Here's the squeaky floorboards! (makes them squeak) The greasy fryers! (points to a machine) And that thing! One patty coming up, Mr. Krabs! (his face turns sad) Mr. Krabs! 

Plankton: Hold it, SpongeBob! I can show you that it's much better working for me! Is there anything that that cheapskate Krabs would never give you? 

SpongeBob: Well... (cut to SpongeBob with some fancy rotating shoes on) 

Plankton: Will you make those Krabby Patties now? 

SpongeBob: There's still one thing... (cut to SpongeBob in a bubble bath, eating pistachio ice cream) 

Plankton: Will you make those Krabby Patties now? 

SpongeBob: Wait until I finish my ice cream! (cut to SpongeBob riding a toy car, with Plankton pushing him) 

Plankton: (while pushing him) Will you make those Krabby Patties now? 

SpongeBob: Faster! Faster! (cut to Plankton reading to SpongeBob a baby book) 

Plankton: And then the little leprechaun said to the...(drool drops on Plankton. SpongeBob is sleeping. He wakes up) 

SpongeBob: (yawns) I'm hungry. 

Plankton: Yes, I'm hungry too. Why don't you whip us up a couple of Krabby Patties? 

SpongeBob: (yawns again) I'm kind of in the mood for tacos. 

Plankton: (laughs) That's a good one, SpongeBob. Ok, whip up those Krabby Patties. 

SpongeBob: No! 

Plankton: What! I gave you the shoes and the bath and I even massaged each one of ungrateful toes so I command you to make me a Krabby Patty! 

SpongeBob: Tell you what. I'll make them when I feel like it. 

Plankton: What? What! I am your boss and I command you to make me those Krabby Patties! 

SpongeBob: (does a lame impression of Plankton) 

Plankton: What! Ok, that's it, mister! You just lost your brain priveleges. (cut to Plankton outside of a lab) Yes, it's finished! I present Robo-Sponge...Chef...Bob...(to the audience) I put his brain in the robot, you know. You should have listened to me, SpongeBob. You see, I always get what I want. Come on out! (Robot SpongeBob comes out) I command you to make a Krabby Patty. 

Robot SpongeBob: I don't feel like it. 

Plankton: What? I command you to make me a Krabby Patty! 

Robot SpongeBob: Response: Why don't you ask me later? 

Plankton: What! 

Robot SpongeBob: Get welded. 

Plankton: Wait! I command you to make me a Krabby Patty! 

Robot SpongeBob: (lying on ground lazily) I don't wanna. (drinks out of a cup of oil and snacks on nuts and bolts while reading a magazine) 

Plankton: (screams) 

Mr. Krabs: (cut to the Krusty Krab) Well, old girl, I guess this is the end. (holds up an "Out of Business" sign) 

Plankton: (crying)Please, Krabs! Just take that yellow nightmare back! 

Mr. Krabs: Well...(taking off the "Out of Business" sign off the doors) a deal's a deal, Plankton. He's your headache now. 

Plankton: Oh, have mercy, Krabs! I'll give you anything! I beg of you! 

Mr. Krabs: Hmm...Give me fifty bucks, then I'll take him off your hands. 

Plankton: It's a deal! I cheated anyway. (Mr. Krabs throws Plankton back inside the Chum Bucket) Thank you! (a crashing sound is heard) Ouch. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, SpongeBob, it's great to have you back. Now whip me up some Krabby Patties. 

SpongeBob: I'm not in the mood for it. I mean...I'll work double today. For free! (runs to the kitchen) 

Mr. Krabs: That's what I thought you were gonna say. (episode ends) 

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: The Pink Purloiner

2009-03-01T15:06:38Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Best Frenemies|Best Frenemies]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Squid Wood|Squid Wood]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Pink Purloiner]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Confess-A-Bear]]
*[[Perch Perkins]]
*[[Jellyfish]]
**[[Blue Crested Blaster]]
**[[Speckled Squirter]]
**[[Two Fisted Jumper]]
**[[Gold Throated Singer]]

==Dialogue==

SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets. (gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish) Patrick, look! It's a blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter, a two-fisted Jumper, and a gold-throated stinger! 

Gold Jellyfish: La, la, la, la, la, la, la! 

SpongeBob: Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one! (SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed) 

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob? (looks up and sees a bunch of colorful jellyfish above them) 

SpongeBob: Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! (opens his case to a metal net instead of one made of bamboo
sticks. He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to the bus stop) 

SpongeBob: Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever. 

Patrick: Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net. (his net breaks) 

SpongeBob: Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloid netting and form-fitting silicone grips.
Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world. 

Patrick: Wow! I would kill for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky.
(shudders. Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street) 

SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick. 

Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: (in his bed) Ah, I love jellyfishing. (night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off) Whoo! Time
to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable.
(realizes he doesn't have it) Ol' Reliable? (gasps) It's gone! (runs out the door in his underwear) 

Gary: Meow? 

SpongeBob: Oh, right. Pants. 

Narrator: One pair of pants later... 

SpongeBob: Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! (both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL'
RELIABLE") 

SpongeBob: Put one over there, Patrick. 

Patrick: I'm all done. 

SpongeBob: Maybe we should spread out a little. (newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN OL' RELIABLE" on
the front page) 

A. Realistic Fish Head: Flash. The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to
our reporter on the scene. 

Perch Perkins: (in Jellyfish Fields) This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor
saps that will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. (SpongeBob takes Perch's microphone) 

SpongeBob: Attention, Bikini Bottom, my jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its
safe return. (Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on TV instantly) 

Mr. Krabs: Reward? How much we talkin' about? 

SpongeBob: 12 dollars and... (counts the coins) ...38 cents. 

Mr. Krabs: I'm on the case. (takes SpongeBob’s money and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone) 

Perch Perkins: Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on. (scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone
when it rings. He picks it up) 

SpongeBob: Oh! Hello? Hello? 

Patrick: SpongeBob, did you get your net back? 

SpongeBob: Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable! 

Patrick: Oh, sorry. (hangs up. The phone rings again) Did you get your net yet? 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. (hangs up. The phone rings again) 

SpongeBob: Hello? 

Patrick: SpongeBob, I found your net! 

SpongeBob: What! Really? 

Patrick: Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely. 

SpongeBob: Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. (looks out his
window and notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net) 

SpongeBob: (sighs) Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. (gets in bed)
Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. (his eyes widen. Scene cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to
SpongeBob’s pineapple) 

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet? 

SpongeBob: (sighs) No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if you had taken my jellyfish net? (Patrick laughs then stops) 

Patrick: No. (SpongeBob laughs) 

SpongeBob: Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present. 

Patrick: A present? What is it? 

SpongeBob: (pulls out a bear with a microphone in its hand) It's a Confess-a-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to. 

Patrick: Wow, thanks, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted.

(quickly dashes off to speak for the bear) 

Confess-A-Bear: Hi! My name is Confess-a-Bear! Tell me all your secrets. 

Patrick: Um, I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened. 

Confess-a-Bear: Hmmm, maybe you should talk about it. 

Patrick: Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found out. 

Confess-a-Bear: Tell Confess-a-Bear! 

Patrick: I've said too much already. 

Confess-a-Bear: Tell Confess-a-Bear now! Now!! 

Patrick: Ahh!! I accidentally knocked SpongeBob’s toothbrush in the toilet and put it back on the counter without washing it!
Confess-a-Bear? (SpongeBob runs around in the background wiping his tongue off and screaming) You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-a-Bear? (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, we need to talk. 

Patrick: Uh, don't come in! I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak! 

SpongeBob: Hmmm... (walks down some stairs into Patrick's rock) Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off? 

Patrick: I'm in here. Be out in a second. (Patrick's shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net) 

SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable! Ah...ha. 

Patrick: (Standing with his hands behind his back) Hello. 

SpongeBob: What's in your hand, Patrick? 

Patrick: (shows his left hand) Nothing. 

SpongeBob: What's in your other hand? 

Patrick: (grows another arm through his chest) Nothing in my other hand. 

SpongeBob: Well, I gotta go. 

Patrick: Ok, bye. 

SpongeBob: Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. Would he? (imagines Patrick from earlier) 

Patrick: I would kill for a net like that! (takes out a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally) 

SpongeBob: (screams) Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure. (scene cuts to the next day) Good
morning, Patrick. 

Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: What are you going to do today, buddy? 

Patrick: Eh, nothing. 

SpongeBob: (puts on his Krusty Krab hat) Well, I'm off to work. See ya later, Patrick. 

Patrick: Bye. (SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a bush in the background) 

SpongeBob: Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. (looks through binoculars)
 

Narrator: 8 hours later... 

SpongeBob: (still looking through binoculars) Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you stare at him for eight hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? (Patrick is behind him) 

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing? 

SpongeBob: Uh, you... what the...? What are you doing? 

Patrick: Nothing. I just finished. (takes out his to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing') Oh, hey, look. You can see where I
was just standing from here. Boy, if you wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here. (shudder) Creepy,
huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars? 

SpongeBob: (yells and throws away the binoculars) I don't have any binoculars, see? 

Patrick: You're acting weird. 

SpongeBob: I'm not acting weird! (runs off panting) You're acting weird! You're... acting... weird! 

Patrick: OK, bye! (later, SpongeBob knocks on Patrick's rock) Hello! Who are you? 

SpongeBob: (wearing a mustache) Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with
sentimental value, if you know what I mean. 

Patrick: Oh. No. 

SpongeBob: Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies. 

Patrick: What street said that? Was it this one? (points at the street) Mind your own business! 

SpongeBob: Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net. I will pay one billion dollars for that
net. (shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that is colored on with crayon) 

Patrick: I don't know who you are, but I'm not giving you this jellyfishing net. (holds the jellyfishing case out) I
wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar. 

SpongeBob: Oh really? 

Patrick: You can't have it for any price. 

SpongeBob: And why not? 

Patrick: This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob’s! 

SpongeBob: (rips off the mustache) A-ha! 

Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of wierd
questions. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm the scary mustache guy! 

Patrick: (screams) Why, SpongeBob, why? Why would you wear such a scary mustache? 

SpongeBob: Why would you steal my jellyfishishing net? 

Patrick: What? I'm your best friend! 

SpongeBob: You were my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net theif! 

Patrick: How could you think that? 

SpongeBob: Because you said it. You said that it was your friend SpongeBob’s. 

Patrick: Gift. 

SpongeBob: What? 

Patrick: It's my friend SpongeBob’s gift. (opens the case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net) I made you a new net. 

SpongeBob: (reads inscription) For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you. Patrick? (a
bunch of stuff is on the ground) What you doing, best friend? 

Patrick: (sets the TV in the pile of junk) I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish. 

SpongeBob: Where're you going? 

Patrick: I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, no! (bus stops in front of them) So, this is it? 

Patrick: Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is. 

SpongeBob: (hands onto Patrick's left foot) Patrick, don't go. I'm sorry I accused you. It's bad enough I lost my net. I
don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me. 

Bus Driver: What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two. (shows SpongeBob his net) Look, you left your net on the bus again. 

SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus? 

Bus Driver: You do it every week. Now can we get going? 

SpongeBob: Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by. 

Patrick: You're giving me Ol' Reliable? (cries loudly) I accept your apology. 

SpongeBob: Oh, come here, you big lug. (both hug and cry loudly...) 

Passengers: Aww... 

Bus Driver: They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, nevermind. 

Patrick: I'm staying in Bikini Bottom! 

Passengers: Hooray! (bus drives off) 

Patrick: You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net. (holds up Ol' Reliable) 

SpongeBob: So did I. (holds up the one Patrick made for him) My best friend made it for me. 

Both: Whee! (both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields, where the exotic jellyfish are still there)

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Gone

2009-03-01T15:04:10Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Not Normal|Not Normal]]
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: The Splinter|The Splinter]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Gone (Episode)|Gone]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Boaty]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Gary]] (mentioned)
*[[Mrs. Puff]] (mentioned)
*Other [[Bikini Bottom]]ites

==Dialogue==
(SpongeBob is sleeping, and his alarm clock wakes him up. He struggles to turn it off, yawns then gets out of bed, puts his pants on, then walks into the kitchen to get food for Gary. He accidently trips because of the heavy bag of food, and there's a big pile of food on top of Gary's bowl)

'''SpongeBob:''' Gary, come and get it! (Gary doesn't come to get the food. Outside SpongeBob's pineapple, the wind is blowing and it looks like no one is in Bikini Bottom) Gary? Gary? Gary Gary? Gary? (SpongeBob looks in the living room, at the top of the stair case, out of a door at the bottom of the staircase, under his bed, and in the toilet. SpongeBob then walks back into the kitchen.) Gary must have gotten an early start. (walks away. cuts to outside where SpongeBob is walking up to Squidward's house with a megaphone) Rise and shine Squidward, You don't want to be late again. (silence) Okay, see you at the Krusty Krab. (now talking to himself) I guess Squidward needs his beauty sleep. Not everyone is blessed with my natural good looks. (scene cuts to Patrick's house. SpongeBob knocks on it) Patrick, it's morning! You don't want to forget to wake up again. (silence again) Patrick? Okay, see you after work, sleepy head. (cuts to scene of SpongeBob walking on the street whistling, where nobody else is. SpongeBob hops over a boat that's in the middle of the road then walks in the Krusty Krab, and stares out the order window. The sun is setting. SpongeBob looks at his watch) Slow day. Good night Squidward. Good night Mr. Krabs. (door opens, revealing that Mr. Krabs is not in there. Scene then cuts back to SpongeBob's house) Gary, i'm home! Gary? You here buddy? (walks into the kitchen, realizing that the big pile of food is still there) Gary? (gasps) He hasn't touched his food! (runs over to Squidward's house screaming, and then knocks on the door) Squidward! Open up! (door opens by itself) Squidward, Have you seen Gary? he's gone missing! (no answer) Squidward? There's no sign of Squidward anywhere. Squidward? (walks upstairs) You up here? Hmm, Squidward's clarinet. (puts the clarinet in his mouth a few times) It's not even worn. Squidward's gone too! (runs over to Patrick's house) Patrick, open up! Squidward and Gary are missing! (lifts up rock, revealing that there's nobody there) Patrick's gone too! What if everybody's gone?! (cuts to the Krusty Krab) Mr. Krabs! (gasp) He's gone too! (cuts to Sandy's house) Sandy! She's gone too (cuts to SpongeBob walking out of 5 building's, saying "Gone" each time he exit's one. He then runs forward on the street) Where did everybody go?! (we look around Bikini Bottom, then we see the whole city, where SpongeBob is doing the echo effect on a cliff) Go! Go! Go! Go! Everybody's gone! But I swear, I will keep the memory of Bikini Bottom alive, by living out there lives for them. (cuts to next day, where SpongeBob is blowing a bubble of himself, then play's a record of him laughing. He then runs into Squidward's house and takes the form of Squidward and imitating him)

'''SpongeBob:''' (As Squidward) SpongeBob, will you be quiet? You're disrupting my genius. (play's Squidward's clarinet. Cut's to the Krusty Krab)

'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, can I have a raise? (SpongeBob then sits in Mr. Krabs's chair and takes the form of Mr. Krabs and imitates him)

'''SpongeBob:''' (As Mr. Krabs) No! Now get to work!

'''SpongeBob:''' Yes sir, Mr. Krabs sir!

'''SpongeBob:''' (As Old Man Jenkins) Excuse me sonny, may I have a Krabby Patty deluxe please?

'''SpongeBob:''' Right away, sir! I mean...

'''SpongeBob:''' (As Squidward) ...whatever. Hey SpongeBob, we got an order for a Krabby Patty Deluxe. Heaven knows why. (giggles, then moves a box that looks like him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Coming up, Squidward! (cuts to SpongeBob at Patrick's house where he looks like him and is sleeping. Scene then cut's to Sandy's house) Excuse me Sandy, but may I have some more of this delicous iced tea?

'''SpongeBob:''' (As Sandy) Why sure! Whoops, just a second. (grows a tail) Why sure now SpongeBob. (cuts to Mrs. Puff's boating school)

'''SpongeBob:''' (As Mrs. Puff) Good morning class. Can anyone tell me the first thing you do when riding a boat?

'''SpongeBob:''' Ahem, floor it?

'''SpongeBob: That's right you floor it. Excellent works SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob:''' Why thank you Mrs.... (begins to cry) Pu... Pu... Puff! (starts to cry) This is pointless! I'm not Mrs. Puff! I can't replace everyone! I'll never be happy again! (notices blank driver's license on the desk) Ooh, my driver's license. (cuts to SpongeBob, taking a picture of him to put in the license.) That's the baby. (he then walks up to a boat) Hi fella, it's me. (boat drives away. SpongeBob then pulls it back up) It's okay, i'm licensed. (SpongeBob gets in the boat and start's driving it, causing destruction on Bikini Bottom. He then falls asleep, and drives into Patrick's house, causing it to skid up, missing Squdward's house, and then crashes into the second story of SpongeBob house) Good night Boaty. (is then having nightmares, and is talking in his sleep) No! No! (wakes up and screams) No! Oh Gary, I had a nightmare that all my friend's were gone! And I was driving a... (screams, 'cause he notices that boaty is right next to him in bed) So it was true. Well I guess it's just you and me now boaty. (scene cuts to him and boaty taking a shower, then eating cereal, then crashing out of the pineapple riding it, then jellyfishing, then at the goo lagoon, then on the sea-saw, then driving into the Krusty Krab) This is where I work. Do you want to help me cook up some Krabby Patties? Great! (SpongeBob put's a box of Krabby Patties under boaty's tire, then moving it to get the patties on the grill) Back when everyone was around, they used to enjoy these. Here, try one. (throws a Krabby Patty under his hood, it then splatter's everywhere) What? You don't like Krabby Patties? Huh! Well I guess we can still make this work. (scene cuts to SpongeBob driving boaty into the pineapple) Whew. Boy, we learned a lot about each other today. You Know? I thought I'd go crazy without all my friend's and aquaintences around, but it looks like you were all I needed to stay sane! (boaty rumbles) What? A puppet of my old best friend? (boaty rumbles again) Made entirely out of Krabby Patty Meat? (laughs) Oh Boaty, you are a card. (SpongeBob walks into a closet, where he is talking to the puppet Boaty was talking about earlier) Sorry i'm late Patrick. Boaty was telling me a joke. (SpongeBob sticks his hand in there and starts talking for him

'''Krabby Patty Patrick:''' You're awfully chummy with that guy for someone who has it out for you.

'''SpongeBob:''' Who, Boaty? (giggles) Oh no he's... Really? 

'''Krabby Patty Patrick:''' I can't talk now. He's watching us.

'''SpongeBob:''' Wait, Patrick! Don't go! (notices Boaty is staring at him) Huh? Nothing Boaty! I... i'm just going to bed.

'''Narrator:''' Three days later.

'''SpongeBob:''' (writing in his diary) Dear Diary: Not sure if I can trust any viechle. Run for it as soon as the coast is clear. (SpongeBob looks out of the plant he's hiding in, seeing there's no one there. Walks into a closet, where Boaty comes in. SpongeBob screams and bursts through the wall of his house) AHHHH! (Runs into another boat) AHHHH! (Runs into a boat rental) AHHHHH! (Runs inside The Reef theater. Cut to inside one of the theater rooms. SpongeBob looks around to make sure there is no Boaty. He pulls up some popcorn and a drink and turns to the screen. A movie about vehicles is being shown) AHHHHHH! (SpongeBob runs out of the theater. He grabs an axe and looks for Boaty. He sees a bus coming toward him. SpongeBob strikes at it with his axe. The bus stops, and Mr. Krabs and everyone in Bikini Bottom comes out) Huh?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Sheesh. Calm down, boy. 

'''SpongeBob:''' You're all still alive? Well where did you go? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' It was National No SpongeBob Day. 

'''SpongeBob:''' National No SpongeBob Day? 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' A whole day dedicated to getting away from you. 

'''SpongeBob:''' A day? But you guys have been gone for weeks. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Uhh... Yeah Well...we kinda melted a little 

'''SpongeBob:''' (Patrick comes out of the bus. He has a t-shirt with SpongeBob crossed out on it. SpongeBob sees this) You too, Patrick? 

'''Patrick:''' Yeah. Everyone needs at least one day away from...(imitates SpongeBob's laugh) 

'''SpongeBob:''' (sadly) I'm... glad you had fun. (sobs 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Aww, cheer up, boy. It's a whole day inspired by you.

'''SpongeBob:''' Really?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Of course. (Cut to a scene of everyone in Bikini Bottom except SpongeBob around a SpongeBob made of wood) First we build a giant wooden efigee of you, then we burn it to the ground. (The citizens burn it) Whoo-hoo!! Burn, baby! (Cut to everyone dancing on the ashes of the efigee) And dance on the ashes like there was no tomorrow. 

(Cut back to the present time)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wow. A whole day dedicated to me. (Blushes) 

'''Patrick:''' Big deal. Wait 'till you see "No Patrick Day"? Come on, everyone. Let's go!(Everyone gets on the bus. SpongeBob knocks Patrick off when he tries to get on. Patrick immediately forgets what happened) Where'd everybody go? Hello? Hello? (Looks around) 

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}
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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Fort gegangen]]

Episode Transcript: BlackJack

2009-03-01T15:03:29Z

70.176.179.82:

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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Pat No Pay|Pat No Pay]]
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Episode Article: [[BlackJack]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mother SquarePants]]
*[[Father SquarePants]]
*[[Grandma SquarePants]]
*[[Cousin BlackJack SquarePants]]

==Dialogue==

(an envelope is pushed through SpongeBob’s door) 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: Thank you, Mr. Postman. Thanks, Gary. (throws some popcorn into Gary's mouth) Hm, can't read the return
address. (tears the envelope open) Maybe this will shed some light. (reads the paper) Hey, SpongeBob, it's your cousin
BlackJack. Guess what? I'm out of prison and decided to pay your parents a visit. If you want to see them again, meet me
for a wrestling match at their house. Try it little man. Blackjack. (end of letter) Cousin Blackjack's out of prison?!
 

Gary: Mao? 

SpongeBob: That's right, Gary, the cousin Blackjack. The same cousin Blackjack that used to beat me up all the time
when we were kids. (flashback to SpongeBob with a bowtie and blue hat on) 

Blackjack: (laughing) Come on, little man. Let's go a couple of rounds, if you think you're tough. 

SpongeBob: Why should we? 

Blackjack: Because it'll show what a little man you are. (spins SpongeBob around and plays with him as a jump rope. End
of flashback) 

SpongeBob: Oh, no. That was years ago, Gary. 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: My sentiments exactly. Just imagine what he must look like now. (imagines Blackjack as a giant) Hi,
SpongeBob. It's been a while. Good to see that you're still a little man. (laughs. Picks up SpongeBob and tears him in
half then laughs some more) That brute has my parents. I gotta get over there. (puts his clothes in a suitcase) Gary, I
don't know how long I'll be gone. I don't know if I'll ever come back. 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: I may get beaten to a quivering pulp but I must do it, for the sake of my parents. (wipes his eyes with a
pair of underwear. Cut to SpongeBob’s parents house where the building has been wrapped around with police tape and
plastic) Oh, my gosh, what happened to my parents' house? What's this? "Do not cross?" Is that police tape? There's
only one reason for the police being here: a crime has been committed. No! Get it together, SquarePants. To face
Blackjack, you've got to be as tough as nails. (forces himself inside the house) Huh? What?! All the furniture is covered in
plastic. The police must have covered everything to preserve the crime scene. What could have happened here?(walks
forward a little) What's this? Blackjack smashed my family portrait. Oh, no. What has he done with my parents?
(imagines parents watching TV) 

Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, darling, it's so nice to spend quality time with you what with you in the office all hours of the
day. (Mr. SquarePants snorts. Blackjack busts down the door and laughs) I got a new outfit for ya. (both parents are
whimpering) 

SpongeBob: That fiend. Where did he take them? I must find more evidence. What's this? Another note. (reads note)
SpongeBob, I paid your parents a visit. Now, I'm gonna do the same with Gramma! You better hurry, little man-boy.
BlackJack. (end of note) He's gonna get Grandma, too. I have to stop him. (cut to Grandma's house) Grandma! Where are
you? Are you ok? Grandma? You in here? Grandma? (sees a gingerbread man on a plate) Oh, no, I'm too late! He burnt you
to a crisp. Oh, that animal. (cries) 

Grandma: SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Grandma? Are you talking to me from beyond the beyond? 

Grandma: Well, if you mean from beyond the kitchen table, yes. You're just in time. I've baked a fresh batch of
gingerbread men. 

SpongeBob: But where's Blackjack? 

Grandma: Oh, Blackjack just called and left a message for you. He couldn't make it because he's got some loose ends to
tie up. 

SpongeBob: Loose ends. My parents! He's tied them up? 

Grandma: And if you don't hurry, you'll miss out on all the fun. (SpongeBob imagines his parents being hung over a
boiler by Blackjack) And when it's all done, he'll need help cleaning up the mess. 

SpongeBob: Cleaning up the mess? (face deflates) I got to get help. I'll go to Uncle Cap'N Blue's. He'll know what to
do. (runs to Cap’N Blue's where he is mowing the yard. SpongeBob jumps on the lawn mower) Uncle Cap'N Blue, I need your
help. 

Uncle: Well, if it isn't little SpongeBob. Plant a firm one on me, Bobby. (shakes SpongeBob's hand but tears his arm
off in the process) 

SpongeBob: I need you to help me rescue my parents. 

Uncle: Sure, Little Bobby. I could use some help with the lawn, but you're gonna need this to do the job right. (hands
back his arm. SpongeBob mows the lawn) 

Narrator: 346 minutes later. 

SpongeBob: Uncle Cap’N Blue, I need to help my parents. They're in danger. 

Uncle: (turns off the mixer) What? You want to build a fence? (laughs) The boy came to work. 

SpongeBob: Actually, I came to try to find my... 

Uncle: (shoves wooden boards, hammers, and nails in SpongeBob’s face) And when you're done, I've made a tomato and clam
juice smoothie to refresh you. (drinks the smoothie out of the mixer) Ah. (SpongeBob builds a fence all the way around
Uncle Cap’N Blue's property) (over speaker) And how many candles you burning out there? Over. (indistinct speech and static) Do you copy? Over? (tries turning the knob) Copy? Do you copy? 

SpongeBob: Uncle Cap’N Blue, Uncle Cap’N Blue? Please help me. 

Uncle: Well, of course you can. (SpongeBob cuts off some coral, paints the house, and fixes the boat. When he's done,
it's nighttime) 

Narrator: Much, much, much later. 

SpongeBob: (uses his tongue to crawl to Cap’N Blue) I am desperately searching for mommy and daddy! 

Uncle: Landscaping? Isn't it a little dark out for landscaping? (SpongeBob grabs the music player and yanks it out of
the wall) 

SpongeBob: Listen, Cap’N Blue. We don't have much time. Cousin Blackjack has my parents help captive at his house. 

Uncle: They let that dangerous miscreant out of prison? Sounds like your parents are in trouble, kid. 

SpongeBob: That's why we have to rescue them now! 

Uncle: Whoa there, Little Bobby. No can do. 

SpongeBob: But Uncle Cap’N Blue, I need the help of a crime fighter like you. 

Uncle: No, no, I don't chase criminals these days. I'm retired, and if I were you, I'd consider turning around and
going home. You're not cut out for this kind of work, boy. An innocent kid like you doesn't stand a chance against a criminal mind. Do you have any idea what people like that do to people like you? 

SpongeBob: You mean they won't give me a push on the swing set? 

Uncle: Well, let's just say, I hope you've practiced walking without legs, or arms, or a body. But since you insist,
I'll drive you all the way over to Blackjack's right now. (SpongeBob digs up the concrete with his fingers) Just try to
relax until we get there. (drives 20 feet and stops) There it is. We're here. (SpongeBob gets out) Uh, lock the door
behind you, kid. (SpongeBob pushes down the lock and Uncle Cap’N Blue drives back into his house. SpongeBob goes up the
steps and steps on a one that makes noise. A guard worm growls and barks at SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: Nice wormy, nice wormy. Nice wormy. (grabs the door handle to knock but is tapped on the shoulder by his
Uncle in a thought cloud) 

Uncle: Do you have any idea what people like that do to people like you? (SpongeBob imagines himself knocking on the
door and Blackjack grabbing him through the door and using him as dental floss. He screams) 

SpongeBob: Uncle Cap'n Blue is right. I'm not cut out for this. I should just turn around and go home. (Mrs. SquarePants screams) Mother! (runs through the
door) Mom? 

Mrs. SquarePants: Help me! 

SpongeBob: They're trapped in the basement. (runs down into the basement) Mom, dad, quick! Let's get out of here. 

Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, but if we leave now, we'll miss the party. 

SpongeBob: Party? 

Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, why yes. We're celebrating your Cousin Blackjack's release from prison. 

Mr. SquarePants: Now if your klutzy mother can stop dropping her punch glass like she dropped that picture frame... 

Mrs. SquarePants: I told you, Harold, that was the fumigator's fault. 

SpongeBob: The fumigator's? So that wasn't a crime scene I saw at your house. 

Mr. SquarePants: the only crime that ever happened at our house was the infestation of those worthless krill but they
should be gone by now. 

SpongeBob: So you two aren't being tortured by Cousin Blackjack? 

Mr. SquarePants: No, SpongeBob, your Cousin Blackjack has paid his debt to society and renounced his criminal ways. Never again will he litter. 

Blackjack: That's right, little man. 

Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, well here comes the man of the hour now. He's been talking all day about playing with his little cousin again. He mentioned something about jumping rope with like the old days. (SpongeBob’s eyes break) 

Blackjack: Did you come here to quiver like a jellyfish, or did you come to wrestle? 

SpongeBob: (whimpering) To quiver. (hides his eyes, nose, and mouth inside his head) 

Blackjack: I always knew you were a little man. Prepare to live your past in the present. (laughs) 

SpongeBob: (whimpering) Come on, Little Bobby. Don't let him beat you. You've got to stand up for yourself this time. That's it! I am not gonna take this anymore. I am putting my foot down. You wanna tussle? Well, let's tussle it up! (Cousin Blackjack runs at SpongeBob and hangs onto his leg. He is the size of SpongeBob’s foot) Cousin Blackjack? 

Blackjack: In the living flesh. (grunts as he takes off SpongeBob’s shoe and punches his big toe) 

SpongeBob: That tickles. 

Blackjack: Just like the old days, eh, cousin? 

SpongeBob: Yeah, Blackjack, you haven't changed a bit. (everyone laughs)

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

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Episode Transcript: Giant Squidward

2009-03-01T15:01:47Z

70.176.179.82:

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|}

Episode Article: [[Giant Squidward (Episode)|Giant Squidward]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] (alter ego [[The Squidward Giant]])
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Nancy]]
*[[Bikini Bottom|Bikini Bottomites]]
*[[Peterson]]

==Dialouge==
(Squidward is sleeping at his house, then his alarm wakes him up. He then gets on his four slippers and gets out of bed. Scene cuts to him walking in front of a mirror. He pulls up his shirt by his collar, then licks his finger and rubs his eyebrows)

Squidward: Squidward, my man, you are perfect! (Squidward is walking outside with a watering can to water his kelp garden, but it's wilted) Oh no, my kelp garden is all wilted! Don't worry fellas, I've got just the thing to perk you up, kelp grow. Hold still. (Squidward sprays it, and his kelp stands up. Squidward sniffs it, then notices Patrick inside)

Patrick: They're pretty.

Squidward: (screams) Patrick?

SpongeBob: And SpongeBob!

Squidward: What are you two doing here?

SpongeBob: Patrick is helping me to do good deeds today, like trimming your kelp garden. (Patrick eats some of Squidward's kelp)

Squidward: Stop eating my kelp!

Patrick: Okay, Okay, geez. Try to help a fella out. I'll just have to eat this ice cream cone instead.

Squidward: Oh, do you like to eat ice cream, Patrick?

Patrick: (thinks) Yeah.

Squidward: Then have some more. (Squidward sprays the ice cream with kelp grow, and there's more. Patrick falls from the extra weight. Squidward laughs) Still want that ice cream?

Patrick: Boy I do! Thanks Squidward. Want some SpongeBob? Last one to the cone is a rotten clam. (both start licking it)

Squidward: Are you done yet?

Patrick: (after eating all of it) All done.

SpongeBob: Wow, I wish I had a bottle of that kelp grow stuff. (Patrick takes Squidwards bottle and gives it to SpongeBob)

Patrick: Here you go SpongeBob.

Squidward: Hey!

SpongeBob: Thank you Patrick. You know my shoes feel kinda tight. (SpongeBob sprays them, and they become bigger) Huh, nice and roomy. (SpongeBob hands the bottle to Patrick)

Patrick: Do you want your grow juice back?

Squidward: Oh no, I only paid for it. I wouldn't want to deprive you of it.

Patrick: Okay.

Squidward: Give me that!

Patrick: But you said you didn't want it.

Squidward: Fine! Why don't you two use it for your good deeds.

SpongeBob: That's a great idea Squidward!

Patrick: Yeah, i'll go first. (Patrick sprays Squidward's nose, and it becomes bigger)

Squidward: (screams) What did you do?

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ooh!

Patrick: Quite an improvement, don't you think?

SpongeBob: Oh yes, I agree completely. Come on Patrick, let's do some good deeding!

Patrick: Yay! (they run off)

Squidward: Hey, get back here, (chases after them) and fix my nose! (SpongeBob and Patrick run up to Gary)

SpongeBob: Hey Gary, that shell of yours looks a little cramped.

Gary: Meow (goes inside his shell. SpongeBob sprays his shell, and it becomes bigger)

SpongeBob: There, now you have plenty of space. (they run off, then Squidward runs on screen, and notices Gary's large shell)

Gary: Meow.

Squidward: Aha, they went this way.

Gary: Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow.

Squidward: Oh, tell me about it. (walks off)

Gary: Meow. (tries to move, but is really hard with a big shell. Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick behind a rock)

SpongeBob: There he is. (talking about Mr. Krabs, who is throwing a penny in the air)

Patrick: Get ready.

SpongeBob: Now, Patrick! (Patrick sucks him into his belly button, then spits him out. He then sprays Mr. Krabs's penny, and it turns bigger, and crushes Mr. Krabs) There you go Mr. Krabs. You always wanted to make "big money". (cuts to scene of live people laughing and booing somebody off the stage. Now talking to Patrick) Good deed acomplished! I ask for no reward.

Patrick: You're a saint SpongeBob! A saint!

SpongeBob: I know, and it is a burden I must carry. But times a wasting! We need another good deed!

Patrick: Oh, I got one! You know that thing?

SpongeBob: Um, right, that thing that we did that day.

Patrick: No, the other one. (both think, then Squidward walks on screen)

Squidward: SpongeBob. (pants) Hey! Look at what you did to me. You better fix my nose, or you'll hear from my lawyer!

SpongeBob: Are you sure?

Patrick: Yeah, you'd be ugly again.

Squidward: Yes, i'm sure!

SpongeBob: Hmm, how to fix his nose?

Patrick: What, if you turn the bottle upside down, maybe it'll shrink it.

SpongeBob:(turns bottle upside down) Patrick, that's brilliant!

Squidward: No wait, don't. (they spray his nose with the bottle upside down, and it just becomes bigger)

SpongeBob: That didn't work.

Patrick: Try it again.

SpongeBob: I think i'll just even him out. First, a bigger head. (SpongeBob sprays his head)

Patrick: Well now his body is too small.

SpongeBob: Right, too small. (SpongeBob sprays it, and his body becomes fatter)

Patrick: Arm's are too short. (SpongeBob sprays his arm) Leg's are too short. (SpongeBob sprays it) Other arm. (SpongeBob sprays it) Feet too small. (SpongeBob sprays it) Teeth. (SpongeBob sprays it and his teeth become sticking out of his mouth) Belly button. (SpongeBob sprays it and his belly button gets plump. Patrick blows a kiss) Perfect! (Squidward looks ugly)

Squidward: I look horrible! (Squidward inks)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ew! (they cough) He inked!

Squidward: Well pardon my anatomy. (Squidward gets even bigger) What's happening?

SpongeBob & Patrick: All right! (Squiward is really big)

Squidward: What did you do to me?!

Patrick: I know! I know! Um, made you a monster!

SpongeBob: And a giant.

SpongeBob & Patrick: A giant monster!

Squidward: I don't want to be a giant lumbering monster! (picks up SpongeBob and Patrick) What will I do now?

SpongeBob: That's easy, play giant lumbering monster tag!

Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! You chase us!

SpongeBob: And we run around and scream like crazy! (they run away from Squidward)

Squidward: (angrily yelling) '''''SpongeBob, get back here!'''''

SpongeBob: (screams) This is really fun.

Patrick: (screams) I know. We should do this... (screams) ...more often. (they run into Bikini Bottom, when Squidward is chasing them)

Nancy: (screams) A monster! (gets on the back of her kid, and he runs really fast)

Bikini Bottomites: Monster!

Meideval Fish: Monster! (an angry mob chases Squdward)

Fish 1: Huh? (takes out a torch from his case, then chases Squidward. Squidward finally gets SpongeBob and Patrick)

SpongeBob: You are very good at pretending Squidward. Look how you're all sweaty and angry, and you got the whole town to play along. (an angry mob is surrounding Squidward)

Squidward: What the?

Fish 2: Let's get him and make back bacon!

Fish 3: Rip out his... eyeballs and use 'em as... giant... misshapen soccer balls.

Meideval Kid: Wait. Maybe he's a nice monster, like in my story book. (all the torches burn out)

Fish 3: Oh right, I, I haven't thought of that. Well, are you?

SpongeBob: Oh, goodness gracious yes. Squidward is the nicest giant of them all.

Patrick: Yeah! Squidward, tell them about all those times that you didn't punch me in the face.

SpongeBob: Even though you really wanted to.

Squidward: DO', BE QUIET, YOU MORON!!! (all gasp)

Fish 4: He hurt the little ones feelings.

Pink Fish: Why, that's not very nice at all.

Fish 3: Take him down boys! (they use a giant rake slingshot to hit his foot)

Squidward: Ow! (they then set up a giant rake. Squidward steps on it, and he falls down. Fish 3 comes in with a big stick of lipstick)

Fish 3: This oughta fix him. (Squidward now has lipstick on)

Squidward: Okay, Okay, i'm nice. (zooms out revealing that Squidward is tied up) Now will you leave me alone?

Sadie: Oh yeah, then prove it!

Fish 3: Yeah! Are you nice enough to... um...

Lady Fish: Compliment me on my new hairdo?

Squidward: Yeah, sure, whatever.

Lady Fish: (laughs) Thank you.

Camp Councliler: Let the junior guppies camp out under your toe nails? (Squidward does so)

Skiier: Take me to the top of mount humongous? (Squidward does it)

Farmer: Blow on my old windmill? (Squidward does it)

Kid: Do my homework?

Peterson: Dust my attic?

Camp Scout: Feed my snail?

Pink Fish: Wow, this giant really is friendly after all.

Harold: He taught my grandma how to read!

Fish 3: He helped me start my own blimp ride company. (the blimp is really Squidward's nose)

Peterson: He helped me build a... a... (sneezes)

All: Ahem?

Squidward: What?

Pink Fish: He didn't say bless you.

Fish 3: Get him! (Squidward runs away)

Pink Fish: Where'd he go?

Fish 3: Is that him over there?

Squidward: Uhh, i'm a lamp post.

Fish 3: Oh, well lets go check down by the creek. We'll teach him to dip his feet! (cuts to Squidward's house at night, where there is a big trap around it. Squidward touches his house, and the trap springs)

Squidward: Well Squidward, I guess this is your new life. (cuts to Squidward on a mountain) And this is your new bed. (lays down) Good night, old life. (cries) I'll miss you.

SpongeBob: Good night, Squidward.

Squidward: Where are you?

SpongeBob: Patrick and I are having a sleep over, in your belly button.

Squidward: What the? (Squidward picks them out) Get out of there! You two have ruined my life! (starts crying, and one of the tears fall on SpongeBob and Patrick, and they are traveling down it)

SpongeBob: Oh Patrick, this is terrible! Squidward did not like the kindness we did him.

Patrick: So?

SpongeBob: We shall do him another. (cuts to next day when SpongeBob and Patrick are working on something) We did it Patrick. (they push a giant present out that says "For Squidward")

Squidward: What the?

SpongeBob: Since our last kindness didn't go so well, we brought you a new one. (Squidward opens it)

Squidward: A giant clarinet? (SpongeBob and Patrick nod, then Squidward plays it, then gasps) And it sounds divine! (as Squidward plays he begins to shrink to normal size) Now i'm too small to play my giant clarinet! (cries, then the clarinet crushes him. SpongeBob and Patrick then pull him out) It was the most beautiful thing I've ever played! (sighs) Well, at least I still have my kelp garden. (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh nervously) What? (cuts to where Squidward's kelp garden is) You cut it down?!

SpongeBob: We used your kelp to make a kelp machet clarinet. (Squidward gets angry, then begins to chase SpongeBob and Patrick. They scream, then laugh, then scream again)

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}

{{Slogan}}
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]

Episode Transcript: Slimy Dancing

2009-03-01T15:01:08Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Vs. Patty Gadget|SpongeBob vs. Patty Gadget]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Krusty Sponge|The Krusty Sponge]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Slimy Dancing]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*Contestants
*Judges
*The Audience

==Dialogue==

(Squidward is putting the finishing touches on a trophy case) 

Squidward: Well, Squidward, ol' boy, all that's left is to go win that dancing trophy and give it a home. After all, nobody ever worked harder to get it than you. (flashback to him dancing with some other fish) All those years of training with the masters. Your tireless effort to keep your instrument supple. (flashback to him getting his legs twisted and stretched) Not to mention your weekly thigh waxing. (pulls some hair off his leg) And now, it's time to go get it. So, let's do it. Whoo...! (runs out of his house and into a bar of bamboo) 

Patrick: Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. Want to give me a ruling, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Sorry, Squidward, you got to go lower to win. 

Squidward: What? What are you two doing? 

SpongeBob: We're limbo dancing to get ready for the dance-a-ton auditions. 

Patrick: We're gonna win the trophy. 

Squidward: Ha. The two of you? Don't make me laugh. Come here... see that? That's where the trophy's going. (shows them the
trophy case) 

SpongeBob: You built us a trophy case for when we win? (both hug Squidward) Oh, you are a true friend. 

Squidward: no, you twits. I built that trophy case for me when I win. I'm going to ace the tryouts today and then I'm going
to the finals tomorrow and win the trophy. I am going forth to meet my destiny. Good-bye. (runs out but runs into the limbo
bar again) 

Patrick: Ruling, Spongebob? 

SpongeBob: I think we better raise the bar. (cut to the tryouts where Squidward sits down on the bench) 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Hiya, Squidward.

Squidward: Oh, great. The flying Gyvonne Brothers. Just ignore them, Squidward. 

Female: (over loudspeaker) Contestants 51 and 52 to the stage, please. 

SpongeBob: We're up, Patrick. Wish us luck, Squidward. 

Squidward: Do I know you? 

SpongeBob: (laughs) You kidder. Let's go, Patrick. 

Squidward: Poor boobs, they don't stand a chance. (laughs) 

SpongeBob: Well, see you at the finals tomorrow, Squidward. 

Squidward: You actually got in? 

SpongeBob: Yep. 

Squidward: Humph, if those two nitwits made it then I'm a shoo-in. 

Female: (over loudspeaker) Contestant 53 to the stage, please. 

Squidward: Look out, dancing world, here comes your future. Music, please. (dances) 

Judge: Next. 

Squidward: Excuse me? 

Judge: You're done. You know, next contestant. You didn't make the cut, sorry, Mac. 

Squidward: But, but, but, but, you don't understand. I already build a trophy case with the cutest little plaque. If I could just touch it... (grabs the trophy) 

Judge: Hey! 

Squidward: But I, hey... (guards punch Squidward out of the building) Unhand me, you brutes. Ah! (cut to Squidward crying
into his house and walking into a limbo bar again) 

Patrick: SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: You're just not getting into the spirit of this thing, Squidward. 

Squidward: Doh, help me up. 

SpongeBob: How'd the audition go, Squidward? 

Squidward: The audition? My trophy? (cries) I mean, uh, uh, yeah, the audition. (chuckles) Evidently, I'm such a great
dancer that I've been banned from the competition for life. 

Patrick: Whoa. 

SpongeBob: Impressive. (gasps) Hey, Squidward, would you be our coach for the finals? 

Squidward: What? I've got better thinks to do than help you two dopes. 

Patrick: Like polishing your empty trophy case? 

Squidward: Fine. But I keep the trophy when we win, deal? 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Deal. 

Squidward: Ok. Show me what you got, Patrick. 

Patrick: Ok, here I go. Watch me now. (goes under the limbo stick but gets a cramp before going all the way through) Cramp! (screams and rolls around. Squidward opens the door and Patrick rolls outside) 

Squidward: Well, I guess that just leaves you, SpongeBob. Show me your stuff. Ready, and... (turns on some music. SpongeBob
laughs and wiggles his arms and legs all around the room. Squidward grabs his arms) Having fun? 

SpongeBob: Yes, yes I am. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, dancing isn't supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be art and art is suffering! Now, we'll start with
some ballet. Watch my feet and follow my lead. Ready, and ply. (SpongeBob and Squidward bend their knees) Relive. (twirl around on their toes) And now grand jet. (Squidward slips on the limbo stick) Where am I? See if I can find the lights.
(turns on the light and sees a giant SpongeBob face. Squidward's head is stuck inside SpongeBob’s body) Wait a minute.
(feels around) This gives me an idea. (Squidward's body is now inside SpongeBob’s) Ready, SpongeBob? A one and a two, and ply. Relive. Grand jet. (SpongeBob’s legs get tangled in a knot) No, no, no. This will never work. You've got two left
feet. 

SpongeBob: How'd you know? 

Squidward: Gimme those. (takes SpongeBob’s legs and puts his own legs through SpongeBob’s pants) That's better. Ok, let's
go. SpongeBob, what are you doing? (SpongeBob’s arms are in the air wiggling) Why are you moving your arms like that? 

SpongeBob: (laughs) I guess they're happy. 

Squidward: Argh, hand 'em over. (SpongeBob hands Squidward one of his arms) And the other one, come on. (Squidward breaks
off the other one then uses his arms as SpongeBob’s) Ah, now that's more like it. 

SpongeBob: Gee, Squidward, with your arms and legs doing all the work, I'm not really doing anything. I think I should
help. 

Squidward: Are you questioning my leadership. 

SpongeBob: Well, I just... 

Squidward: Ok, hand it over. (SpongeBob hands his mouth to Squidward) 

SpongeBob: You know what, Squidward? 

Squidward: What's that? 

SpongeBob: I think I'm suffering for my art now. (cut to the dance recital where a fish is already dancing) Good gravy. Get
a load of the talent here. 

Squidward: Oh, please. Just wait until you see my brilliant moves. (the fish who is dancing falls on his face. The crowd
gasps as the judges give him a total score of 5. The next dancer is a whale balancing a ball on its head. The judges total
score is 23.5. The next dancer is a giant sea horse. Then a dancer who can balance coins on his arms while jumping up and
down. The judges score him a 29.5.) 

SpongeBob: Oh my goodness. I am honored to be in the presence of such divine talent. 

Squidward: Quit groveling. Where is your dignity? These losers are here to worship us. I mean me. By the end of the night
I'll have them on their knees just begging for more. 

Female: (over loudspeaker) Now that's what I like to call a hard act to follow. Next up, we have SpongeBob SquarePants. 

Fish: Oh, man. I can't wait. I am so stoked on dancing right now. 

SpongeBob: Now, before I begin, let me just thank you all for coming out tonight. (Squidward grabs SpongeBob’s mouth) 

Squidward: Will you stop it? And let my dancing do the talking. (dances) 

SpongeBob: Wow, Squidward, the crowd's gone silent. 

Squidward: Of course they have. They are in the presence of a true artiste. 

Fish: What's he doing? 
Fish #2: Is he hurt? 

Fish #3: I don't know man, but it's hurting my eyes. 

Fish #4: I think I'm gonna be sick. (throws up) 

SpongeBob: Uh, Squidward? 

Squidward: Ha. If they think that's good, wait till they see... (gets a knot in his leg) Cramp! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! (bounces
around on the floor while everyone leaves. A man who was asleep wakes up and is about to walk out the door) 

Fish #5: Hey, guys, wait up. Huh? What's this? (sees SpongeBob dancing) That's kind of nice. Hey guys, come check this
out. 

Squidward: Must finish dance... on other... (gets another cramp in the other leg) 

SpongeBob: Um, Squidward, is this part of the act? 

Squidward: (screams) The pain! (crowd cheers and throws flower onto the stage) 

Judge #2: By unanimous decision, we have a winner. 

Squidward: (grabs the trophy and hugs it) I won, I won! 

Judge #2: Never before have I seen such zest, such joie de vivre. 

SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, you're too kind. But I couldn't have done it without a very special someone. (grabs Squidward) 

Squidward: Wait, SpongeBob, no! (is pulled out from SpongeBob’s body) 

Judge #2: The rules clearly state "A single dancer must perform without any further assistance from a partner." Therefore,
you're the winner. (hands trophy to coin balancing dancer) 

Fish #6: Oh man, the jig's up, Pedro. We're going home. (rips his wig in half and shows a man inside of it) 

Pedro: It's all right, I'll go call a taxi. 

Judge #2: Merciful Neptune. Are there any more cheaters? 

Fish #7: (takes off the sea horse costume) Ah, crud, we're two dancers.

Octopus: We're nine dancers, actually. (lifts his kilt up to show 8 little ones around his legs) 

Fish #8: (takes a muscle fish out of his pants) Does this count? 

Judge #2: Isn't there a single dancer here who is not assisted by a partner? 

Judge: Uh, what about number 52 over there? (Patrick is screaming and moving around on the ground) 

Judge #2: Is he alone? 

Judge: Well, let me see. (looks inside Patrick's mouth) Why, yes, he is a single dancer. 

Judge #2: Oh, well, then. I guess he wins. (Patrick screams some more as everyone else cheers) 

SpongeBob: I love your new dance, Patrick. 

Patrick: Thanks. 

Narrator: Epilogue. 

Mom: Tommy? I've got a fresh load of laundr... (screams as she thinks Tommy is having a seizure on the floor) Tommy, oh,
oh, dear me, no! (dials 911) Hello, it's an emergency! My son! He's... 

Tommy: (scoffs) Mom, calm down. (stops music) I'm just doing "the cramp"! 

Mom: (hangs up phone) Oh, oh you kids and your carzy dance fads. (she laughs and is soon joined by Mr Krabs, SpongeBob,
Patrick, and Squidward) 

Patrick: Hey, everybody, let's all do "the cramp"! 

All: Yeah! (everyone dances)

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: New Leaf

2009-03-01T15:00:16Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Wishing You Well|Wishing You Well]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Once Bitten|Once Bitten]]
|}

Episode Article: [[New Leaf]]

==Characters==
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]

==Dialogue==

(scene starts out at the Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs is looking at Plankton through a telescope) 

Plankton: (waving a white flag) I surrender! 

Mr. Krabs: Eh? I wonder what form of trickery is up that miniature Cyclops’s sleeve this time. (walks up to Plankton)
Alright, Plankton, I don't know what you're trying to pull on me, but I'll tell ya right now, it ain't going to work. 

Plankton: There's no pulling, Krabs. Can't you see my peace offering? 

Mr. Krabs: What is this? (takes the flag and looks at it) Ha-ha! Very funny, Plankton! But you're gonna have to do a lot
better than taking a stab at my illiteracy to offend me.

Plankton: Don't you get it, Krabs? I give up. I'm through competing with you! 

Mr. Krabs: But what about all those fevered attempts at trying to steal my Krabby Patty recipe? 

Plankton: Exactly! They've all been just attempts. And every single one a miserable failure. I can feel my arteries
clogging up with anxiety just thinking about it. (sighs) Let me show you something. (scene cuts to them walking into the
Chum Bucket, which is full of spider webs) Look at this place! 

Mr. Krabs: (runs into a spider web) Aah! Crimony, Plankton, you ever heard of spring cleaning? 

Plankton: What's the point? Do you know when the last time I had a customer was? 

Mr. Krabs: Actually, I don't recall you ever having a customer. 

Plankton: Well, there he is. (points to skeleton animal on the table) That's why I've decided to quit the
restaurant business, altogether, and turn the Chum Bucket into...this! 

Mr. Krabs: You want to turn your restaurant into a pile of junk? 

Plankton: No! These are knickknacks for the new gift shop I'm opening up. 

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Come on, this has got to be a joke, right? 

Plankton: I'm serious, Krabs. Soon the Chum Bucket will be a nice little store for bric-a-brac and bubblegum. 

Mr. Krabs: All right, Plankton. But be aware, I'm not letting my guard down. 

Plankton: Guard away, my ex-enemy. I'll just be here starting my new competition-free career. (hums as Mr. Krabs walks away)
 

SpongeBob: What's going on Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: Plankton's concocting another hair-brained scheme to steal me recipe. So keep your eyes peeled. 

SpongeBob: Whatever you say, cap'n. (peels eyes) 

Mr. Krabs: Now that's an employee who follows orders. (loud jack hammering is heard) What in blazes is that noise? (Plankton
reveals the new name of his business: "Chumporium") 

Plankton: Ah, would you look at that? I have a feeling I'm going to like this new life of novelty items. 

Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. Clever, Plankton! Two can play at this game. 

SpongeBob: (holding a snow globe) Mr. Krabs, look at this cool knickknack I got at the Chumporium. 

Mr. Krabs: (takes the snow globe) Hmm, I know there's a microphone or camera in here somewhere. (tries to open it) 

SpongeBob: Uhh, Mr Krabs, I really don't think there's anything weird in there. 

Mr. Krabs: Eh, we'll see about that. (walks to a door) I'll just put this in here for safekeeping. You here that, Plankton?
Join your other friends from the past. (throws snow globe into a room full of Plankton's past schemes then locks the door)
Now nobody's getting to see anything. Don't you understand this is all part of his ruse. It's just cosmetic. He thinks he
can take us out. But we'll show him. We're gonna out-fake the faker. Well, it looks like old Plankton is really going
through with it. I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore. Yup, we sure whipped him this time. Okay, boys, the
coast is clear. Plankton's turned over a new leaf. 

SpongeBob: That's some good news, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: It sure is, you little half-wit. And you know what else is good news? We can finally use that DJ system. Hit it, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Right away, sir. 

Mr. Krabs: Let's party! (music plays) Ow! I won! It's time to boogie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 

Squidward: This is idiotic. 

Mr. Krabs: Dance or you're fired. 

Squidward: You got it, Mr. Krabs. (dances) 

Mr. Krabs: (opens front door) How do you like them apples, you little... (record scratching) 

Plankton: (carrying a toy seal behind him) Come on, buddy, let's get some shut eye. We have a big day ahead of us at the
Chumporium Gift Shop. 

Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. (sneaks over to the Chumporium) What the...? (sees a bunch of novelty items inside through the
window) Store shelves? Novelty toys? Lava lamps? (gasps) Useless knickknacks? Very convincing. But I'm still not buying it.
You want a battle, Plankton? I'm gonna give you a war. (scene cuts to Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is
dusting off his knickknacks) 

Plankton: Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. (laughs) 

Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me. 

Plankton: Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. (laughs then sighs) Those were the days, huh Eugene? 

Mr. Krabs: Grr... 

Plankton: But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty
items. 

Mr. Krabs: Bubkes. 

Plankton: Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways. 

Mr. Krabs: Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. (takes out the
formula) You know you want it. 

Plankton: Thanks, but no. 

Mr. Krabs: A-ha, I knew it. (chuckles) It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no? 

Plankton: Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine. 

Mr. Krabs: Problems?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... (throws one of the shelves down. Plankton gasps) ...a sham, a snow job... (throwing snow
globes onto the ground and breaking them) ...baloney with a side of flimflam and an order of Jive! See?! Who's the one with
the problem?!

Plankton: Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.

Mr. Krabs: Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. 

Plankton: (screams) Get out!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Mr. Krabs:(gasps) Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are
turned, you'll make your move. (drops the formula) Oops. 

Plankton: What's this? (groans) Hey, Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: I knew you'd come back. 

Plankton: You forgot something. (throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs) Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing
after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy. (walks off) 

Mr. Krabs: I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? What've I done. (cries loudly. Scene cuts to night. Phone rings in the Chumporium as Plankton is taking a shower) 

Plankton: Coming, coming. (answers) Yo. 

Mr. Krabs: Uh, Plankton? 

Plankton: Eugene? 

Mr. Krabs: Uh, hey. 

Plankton: Hey. 

Mr. Krabs: Listen, uh, I just wanted to...you know...apologize for my behavior today. Wasn't right what I done. And I
realized I hurt the feelings of, uh, someone I care about. You still there?

Plankton: Yes. I'm still here. 

Mr. Krabs: Heh, good. Uh...I want to make it up to you. What do you say we grab a soda? 

Plankton: Sure. (scene cuts to the next day at the Krusty Krab. Mr Krabs and Plankton are sitting at a table with sodas) 

Mr. Krabs: Glad you could make it, buddy. 

Plankton: So, what's this about, Krabs? (sips his soda) 

Mr. Krabs: I figured since we're no longer archenemies, maybe, maybe we can start over. 

Plankton: Yes. Yes, I would like that very much. (scene cuts to Mr Krabs and Plankton walking along the pier then playing
pool) I guess I won. (both laugh. Scene cuts to both in a hot air balloon, on a slide, eating cotton candy, then at a trust
booth) 

Mr. Krabs: Uh, I don't know about this, Plankton. 

Plankton: Oh, come on. Just fall back. Trust me, I'll catch you. (chuckles. Mr. Krabs falls back and Plankton strains to
keep him up. Scene cuts to both sitting on the edge of the pier) 

Mr. Krabs: That was truly amazing, Plank, old buddy. I guess I really can trust you 100%. 

Plankton: Thanks, Eugene. That means a lot to me. 

Mr. Krabs: And just to prove it to you, I want you to have something. 

Plankton: Oh, no, no, come on now. No gifts. 

Mr. Krabs: No, no. I want you to have this. It's the secret formula.

Plankton: I can't believe you would even think... 

Mr. Krabs: Things are different now. Honestly. It would mean a lot to me. 

Plankton: You...you're serious. Eugene, if I take this formula from you now, there will always be a hint of doubt. 

Mr. Krabs: Come on, take it. 

Plankton: You sure? (Mr. Krabs nods) Life is good, Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Sure is buddy. Sure is. (screen fades to black. Plankton appears) 

Plankton: Yeah, baby! This is it. Yeah! Whoo! (laughs. Runs into his Chumporium) I got it! I got it! My diabolical,
extremely convoluted plan worked! I should've been a politician. (laughs. Opens up the formula to read "GOTCHA! Love, Krabs". Lights turn on) 

Mr. Krabs: I never gave you the formula. I fooled you with an even more convoluted charade. (laughs and walks out. Plankton screams)

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: A Flea in Her Dome

2009-03-01T14:58:57Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Sing a Song of Patrick|Sing a Song of Patrick]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Donut of Shame|The Donut of Shame]]
|}

Episode Article: [[A Flea in Her Dome]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks]]

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob is crying outside his house) 

Patrick: There, there, SpongeBob. No need to cry. 

SpongeBob: Yes there is, Patrick. Sandy's been gone for two whole days. 

Patrick: Two whole days? (cries) 

SpongeBob: Oh, why'd she have to go to that science convention in Texas? 

Patrick: Texas? (cries more) 

SpongeBob: She won't be back for one whole hour 26 minutes and 47 seconds. 

Patrick: Oh, 47 seconds... (cries) I miss Sandy so much. Her tentacles, the way she plays clarinet. Her massive nose. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, that's Squidward. He's not gone, he's right here. 

Squidward: (planting flowers) No, I'm not. (walks inside) 

SpongeBob: I sure do miss that squirrel. Her karate chopping. That 10-gallon glass dome over her dome. And who can forget those buck teeth? After Sandy gets back, we're gonna let her know how much we miss her. 

Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call "mom"? 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, that's your mother. But that does give me an idea. We'll throw Sandy the mother of all welcome home parties. Patrick, to the tree dome. (Patrick cheers. Cut to Sandy's tree dome where SpongeBob and Patrick are carrying in pieces of wood and some tools. They paint "Welcomandy!" on a sign because they ran out of room. Patrick tries to blow up a balloon but his head is inside a bowl. SpongeBob points up to the tree and they jump down from it, filling up the balloon with air but they can't touch the ground due to the balloon lifting them up. Cut to SpongeBob putting the finishing touches on a round cake that reads "Welcome Home Sandy!". When he puts down the icing, the cake is gone. Patrick is chewing it but when he takes it out of his mouth, it's in the shape of Texas. Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick lifting up a banner that reads "Welcome Dome Sandy!") We've readied this place for Sandy's arrival which should be in about...whoa, right now! (bus drops off Sandy. Both SpongeBob and Patrick run out to her) 

SpongeBob: Welcome home, Sandy. You know that we missed ya. 

Bus Driver: No! No one wants to hear you sing. 

Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob, he's got a fierce no singing policy. 

SpongeBob: That's quite all right, Miss Cheeks. As long as you don't have a fierce "no partyin'" policy. (Sandy laughs) First, cake, then we'll karate chop and then... 

Sandy: Wow, guys. You two... uh, really know how to... uh, throw a party. (scratches her neck) 

SpongeBob: I knew it! You have been itchin' to see us. 

Sandy: Well, something's been making my skin crawl. 

SpongeBob: Maybe a slice of cake will take your mind off your crawling hide? (cut to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy sitting at the table) Patrick and I made this cake especially for your return. 

Patrick: This is gonna taste so good again. 

SpongeBob: Dig in, Sandy. 

Sandy: (scratching herself with the fork) Uh... look tasty, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: You ok, Sandy? 

Sandy: I'm fine. My skin just hasn't adjusted to this here underwater air. (she's shedding hair all over the food. SpongeBob pushes his plate away while Patrick combs his hair on his food) 

SpongeBob: Uh, hey, Sandy? Sandy? (takes out a present) Surprise, Patrick and I chipped in and got you a little somethin' somethin'. 

Sandy: Aw, guys, you shouldn't have. (opens present to reveal a giant clam board) A new itch board... I mean, a new snow bard. Boy, I can't wait to scratch this down Chafe Mountain. 

SpongeBob: Don't you mean ride this down Scab Mountain? 

Sandy: Thank you very rawness, SpongeBob and Pat. 

SpongeBob: Uh, you're welcome, Sandy. Hey, are you still up for some karate chops? 

Sandy: Rashy sore...I mean, sure. (cut to both having their gloves on but Sandy still scratching) 

SpongeBob: You ready? (Sandy's grunting) And how about now? You ready? 

Sandy: Creeping critters, feels like something's bitin' me. (looks inside her skin to find a bug biting her) I've got a flea? Well, I ain't gonna take that without a fight. Hi-ya! (karate chops the flea but it jumps into her right leg) I'll get you. Hi-ya, hi-ya, hi-ya! (karate chops and gnawls at her leg) SpongeBob, ah... my suitcase, hurry. I'm ashamed of saying this, SpongeBob, but while I was in Texas, I seem to have picked up a flea. 

SpongeBob: What's a flea? 

Sandy: A flea is a dastardly little vermin that bites us air breathers. (puts on a spikey collar) But this here flea collar will send the cirtter a-runnin'. (flea jumps onto SpongeBob’s right hand) 

SpongeBob: (laughs) He tickles. This isn't so bad-- ow... he bit me. Got any more of those fancy collars, Sandy? 

Sandy: No, but you can use this one right quick. (takes off her collar and puts it on SpongeBob. The flea jumps onto Patrick and bites a bunch. Patrick screams then laughs at all the red marks he has on his stomach) 

Patrick: Connect the dots. (connects his bite marks) I drawn a horsie. Ouch, why does this flea keep biting me? 

Sandy: 'Cause he's hungry. When a flea bites ya, it's cause he's suckin' up your blood for nutrition. 

Patrick: I've been bit by a vampire flea! No...! I'm going to turn into a vampire now! It's already happening! (makes noises) 

Sandy: Patrick, there ain't no such thing as vampires. 

Patrick: Yah, doesn't matter. Oh, this itch is killing me. (takes the collar and wraps it around his waist. The flea jumps onto Sandy) 

Sandy: Ah... give me that! (takes the collar and puts it around her neck) Whew. (flea jumps onto SpongeBob and bites him) 

SpongeBob: Sandy, please, help me! 

Sandy: I need this! 

SpongeBob: I need it more! (SpongeBob takes the collar causing the flea to jump to Patrick. Then Patrick grabs the collar causing the flea to jump into Sandy's nose and crawl across her eyes. This goes on for a while until the flea lays an egg on Sandy's head. More flea's emerge and jump on everyone) 

Sandy: Enough, I will not take this anymore. What ya gonna do now, punks? (fleas jump off) Looky, it worked! Whew! I'm glad that's over. 

SpongeBob: Um, is that what "over" look like? (points to a pile of fleas) 

Sandy:(fleas eat the belt) Run! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ok. (all three run but the fleas act as a cannon and shoot their own kind at SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy) 

Sandy: Ya'll got the aim of a cross-eyed armadillo. (screams) Run again! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ok. (fleas surround the other three and make their skin puff up) 

SpongeBob: Uh, thanks for having us, Sandy, but we gotta go. (the fleas block the exit. SpongeBob & Patrick scream until they see Squidward walking down the street) 

SpongeBob & Patrick: (muffled) Help! Help! 

Squidward: Just ignore them, Squidward and continue your power walk. heel toe, heel toe, heel toe, heel toe. 

Sandy: Back off! (steps on fleas but the fleas surround her) 

SpongeBob: Sandy, oh, no! Are you ok? 

Sandy: (spits out some fleas) Them varmints is tough! They're from Texas! Whew. 

Patrick: It's gonna be all right, we will help you. (fleas fly in and SpongeBob and Patrick scream) Ok, you know what? None of this would have happened if you didn't come back with your infestation. All you've brought us is fleas and trouble and pain and itching and a rash and pain and fleas and itching and pain. So much pain! So much pain. (to SpongeBob) And as for you... if you hadn't thrown this party, we wouldn't be in this mess. 

SpongeBob: Wait a minute. You had as much to do with this party as I did. 

Patrick: You call this a party? I'm beginning to question our friendship. 

SpongeBob: Stop smudging my helmet! 

Patrick: Oh, I got half a mind, buddy. 

Sandy: (shoves them both down) Will you two men stop yelling at each other? What's that prove? If we're gonna get out of this, we gotta work together. 

Patrick: You're right. I have an idea. SpongeBob, you get on Sandy's shoulders. (SpongeBob does so) Uh-huh, good. Now... (grunts) I'll get on top of you. (does so and grabs an apple from the tree and eats it) Ah, much better. (falls to the ground) 

Sandy: I do not play games. (flea makes an evil face of laughter) Quick, get in the tree house. It's the only safe place left. (all three climb to the top of the tree) We should be protected here. (fleas come in through an opening of the tree that acts like a window) Hold on. (throws an acorn at a button named "emergency escape hatch". All three slip through a hole in the board onto the ground. The fleas surround them again) 

SpongeBob: Is this how we're going to spend the rest of our lives? Living in fleas instead of water? 

Sandy: SpongeBob, that's it... water! (puts on a water helmet and karate chops her way through the fleas and opens the door to cause the whole ocean water to come rushing into her dome and the fleas to disappear) 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Water! (all the fish and water comes pouring into her dome and causing everyone to be squished inside against the glass) 

SpongeBob: (through glass) It sure is good to have you back, Sandy.

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Clams

2009-03-01T14:58:17Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: New Student Starfish|New Student Starfish]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Ugh!|UGH]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Clams]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Clamu]]
*[[Scooter]]

==Dialogue==

Scooter: Uhh, what do you like better? The coral bits or the nacho oyster skins? 

Squidward: I like neither. Can I take your order? 

Scooter: What about the barnacle rings, are they any good? 

Squidward: No. What will you have? 
Scooter: Well, uhh, what’s your vote on the kelp... 

Squidward: Sir, let’s just get this out of the way, I hate everything on the menu! So what do you want? 

SpongeBob: (pokes his head out from behind the kitchen window) Psst, try the coral bits. 

Scooter: Uhh, I’ll try the coral bits. 

Squidward: That will be one dollar. (rings up one dollar then a siren goes off) 

Scooter: What’s going on? 

Squidward: Something stupid, I’m sure. (alarm stops as a curtain opens up to show a real band in the background playing
music. Mr. Krabs comes out from his office) 

Mr. Krabs: Yippee! (kisses the customer and Squidward. Takes the dollar and rubs it all over himself) Whoo-ha! Whoo-ha! 
Squidward: See? I told you. 

SpongeBob: What’s wrong with Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: (runs over to the counter) Nothing, lad! Do you know what this is? 
Squidward: A very dirty dollar? 

Mr. Krabs: No, this is my one millionth dollar earned! Every crab’s goal in life is to make a million dollars, and now I
got mine! Congratulations, sir! You have just given me my one millionth dollar! 

Scooter: Ha, great! Uhh, what do I win? 

Mr. Krabs: Nothing, now get out! 
Scooter: Uhh, what? 

Mr. Krabs: Out! Everybody get out, you’re spoiling me moment! (pushes everyone out the door) Me millionth dollar! 

SpongeBob: Congratulations, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: Congratulate yourselves, lad! A captain’s nothing without his loyal crew! I mean, a crew like you comes around
maybe once in a lifetime! And to reward you for making me millionth dollar, I’m taking you on a trip. 

SpongeBob: Wow, a trip! 
Squidward: I can’t believe it, Mr. Krabs! Where we going, Fancy Springs? (scene cuts to the three of them in a pool) 

Mr. Krabs: No. 

Squidward: Pamper Island? (scene cuts to the three of them laying on towels at a beach) 

Mr. Krabs: Try again. 

Squidward: Ooh, ooh, ooh, Bikini Bottom Folk Village? (scene cuts to the three of them in 18th century clothing) 

Mr. Krabs: Better than that! (scene cuts to them wearing raincoats on a boat) 

Squidward: Clam fishing? This is the reward we get for all our hard work? Fishing for stinky clams on a smelly old boat on
a filthy lagoon? You call this fun? 

Mr. Krabs: Aww, come on now, Squidward. Three fellas at sea with nothing to do but throw their lines in the water, catch a
few clams then throw them back. Don’t you think that’s fun? 

Squidward: No. (takes off his raincoat and sits on his chair) And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now. 
SpongeBob: Hey Squidward, you want me to cast out over here so you can watch me? 

Squidward: How about you cast out over there so I can ignore you? 

SpongeBob: Ok! (SpongeBob casts his line behind him which catches on Squidward’s magazine. SpongeBob brins his line forward
and casts it in the lagoon. SpongeBob casts Squidward's chair) Hey, watch where you're swinging that... (SpongeBob casts
Squidward's shirt out in the lagoon) SpongeBob, be careful with... (SpongeBob casts Squidward's nose into the lagoon.
Squidward screams then walks up to Mr. Krabs) 

Squidward: Ok, I’ve had enough. 

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Oh Squidward, you got to lighten up. (SpongeBob is still casting out items while Mr. Krabs talks to
Squidward) Sure the lad’s a bit over eager, but you've got to learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow. And don’t
bring anything on a boat that you ain’t prepared to lose? (laughs. SpongeBob casts Mr. Krabs millionth dollar into the
lagoon) Me millionth dollar! SpongeBob, wait! SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar on the back swing! Reel it in
before I keelhaul you! (music plays) Oh no. SpongeBob, quick, reel it in! Can’t you hear the music? That’s a 4/4 string
ostinato in D minor! Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it’s too late! Hurry, SpongeBob. the music’s
getting faster! (SpongeBob reels it in as fast as he can. Mr. Krabs opens the doors to the orchestra) There you are ya
stinkin' bilge rats. Stop playing that music! Stop it, please! I'm begging ya! Come on, honey, you can make it. Swim
faster! Come to me, baby! Come on back! Hurry, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: She made it! 

Mr. Krabs: (holds up the dollar and cheers) For a second or two, I thought she was a goner! (ominous orchestra music plays
again. A giant clam jumps up and takes Mr. Krabs dollar) 

Squidward: So, some trip, eh, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, you’re never gonna believe it! A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar! (bawling) I lost
me dollar and I’ll never get it back! Never, never, never, never, never... 

SpongeBob: I’ve never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up. (Mr. Krabs is in pieces, crying) 

Squidward: Oh, please, he's such a drama queen. C'mon, Mr. Krabs, drop the act. (Mr. Krabs is blubbering) Mr. Krabs, it's
just a stupid dollar. (continues blubbering. Mr. Krabs pours tears into his mouth) For pete's sake, Mr. Krabs, suck it up!
(Mr. Krabs’ eyes fill up then leak out tears like water faucets) Mr. Krabs... (Mr. Krabs is stil wailing) Ok, ok, Mr. Krabs,
we’ll help you get your dollar back! (Mr. Krabs throws his thumb away that he was sucking on) 

Mr. Krabs: You will? Great! Wait right here. (runs off to get some items. Comes back with a bunch of fishing gear on)
Here’s where clam fishing gets serious! (scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is on top of the boat and SpongeBob
and Squidward are on the lower deck) Ok, you boys man the fishing poles and I’ll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip. 

SpongeBob: (salutes) Aye aye, captain! 

Mr. Krabs: And remember, we don’t leave until we catch that clam and rescue me dollar. (Mr. Krabs scouts the area. Scene
cuts to later where Mr. Krabs has a beard on from scouting for too long. Squidward and SpongeBob looks the same as Mr. Krabs)
 

Squidward: That’s it, I’m finished! We’ve been here for three days and haven’t gotten a nibble. This is hopeless! 

SpongeBob: Yeah, and I’ve got to get home to feed Gary. (scene cuts to Gary chewing the couch at home) 

Squidward: We’re gonna die out here just because a clam ate Mr. Krabs' stupid dollar. (takes a dollar out of his wallet)
Well, if he wants his dollar back, I say we give it to him. Know what I mean? Huh? Huh? Huh? 
SpongeBob: Oh, I get you. (jabbers. Scene cuts to later in the day where Mr. Krabs is still scouting the area)

SpongeBob & Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (Mr. Krabs steers his eyes toward the other two to see them waving a dollar)
Look what we’ve got! 

Mr. Krabs: (jumps down and gasps) Could it be? (takes the dollar) Me millionth dollar? (starts cheering again as well as
SpongeBob and Squidward) Whoo-hoo! (stops dancing) Wait a minute... (rubs the dollar back and forth) This isn't me
millionth dollar. (SpongeBob and Squidward look at each other) This is an ordinary dollar that’s been crumpled up, torn
slightly, soaked in the lagoon, and kissed with Coral Blue #2 Semi-Gloss Lipstick. (shows dollar bill just like described) 

SpongeBob: Actually, it’s Coral Blue number t... (Squidward hits him with a stick) 
Mr. Krabs: I trusted you, and you gave me this? I can’t believe me own crew would betray me like this. (cries)

Squidward: No. Uh-uh. No, we will not be swayed by tears anymore.

Mr. Krabs: I see. Then I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward. 

Squidward: You’re kidding? 

SpongeBob: Woo! Is it another fishing trip? 

Mr. Krabs: No, it’s this sandwich. (nails the sandwich to a pole) 

Squidward: A sandwich? You expect me to break my back over a sandwich? 

Mr. Krabs: Not a sandwich. (throws the other sandwiches into the water) The sandwich. 

Squidward: Whatever. We’ve got plenty more to... (Mr. Krabs throws the refrigerator into the water) ...eat. 
Mr. Krabs: Now, I think we understand each other. Nobody eats until I get my millionth dollar back. 

Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob, can I have a word with you? Have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone completely insane?! 

SpongeBob: What do you mean? 

Squidward: Just look at him. (pointing to Mr. Krabs, who is dressed like he is at a funeral crying at a tombstone with the
words 'R.I.P. Me Millionth Dollar' on it. He then hugs it)

SpongeBob: Squidward, he’s lost something near and dear to him. Haven’t you... 

Squidward: Look again. (Mr. Krabs uses his eyes as a jump rope while giggling) 

SpongeBob: You’re right. How do we get out of here? 

Squidward: If we’re real quiet, we can sneak over to the lifeboat. 

SpongeBob: Ok. (both scream over to the boat. They jump into it but then come back onto the boat tied up) 

Mr. Krabs: So, you thought you’d skip out on old Krabs, did ya? Even after you promised to help me. I know what you’re
thinking. "It’s just a dump old dollar. Let’s just leave the old man. He won’t notice." (cries) Well, it’s not going down
like that. There’s only one use for a backstabbing crew like you: (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs hanging his line over the boat.
SpongeBob and Squidward are attached to the line) live bait. 

Squidward: You’re crazy. If that clam didn’t come before, what makes you think he’ll come now? 

Mr. Krabs: (dressed up as a conductor) Oh, he’ll come. (opens up the doors to the orchestra and begins to play the ominous
music) 

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, listen, I work with SpongeBob all day long, so I know what I’m talking about when I say...you are
completely out of your mind! (Mr. Krabs cackles. The giant clam emerges above water coming closer to the two on the line)
Get us out of here! 

Mr. Krabs: Come on, fresh meat! (SpongeBob and Squidward scream as they try to wiggle back and forth to avoid the giant
clam) Keep thrashing! He likes it! (both continue to scream and bounce up and down really fast) Come on, boy! Closer.
Closer. Almost there. (giant clam shows the dollar on its tongue) That’s it! (closes the doors to cause the music to stop.
The giant clam stops in mid-air and Mr. Krabs jumps inside it to take the dollar) Aha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look, boys, I
finally got it! (rubs his dollar on himself) I finally got me millionth dollar. (cabin doors open to play the ominous
music again. The giant clam closes its mouth, with Mr. Krabs inside, and goes underwater. Cabin doors close as the
conductor takes a bow) 

SpongeBob: Oh, poor Mr. Krabs. Gone forever out of our lives. Why couldn’t it have been me?! 

Squidward: Yes, why couldn’t it have been you?! (both cry) 

SpongeBob: Why did he have to go like this?! Why? 

Squidward: Why did he have to go like this and leave me tied to this idiot?! (both cry loudly) 

Mr. Krabs: Hello, boys! 

SpongeBob & Squidward: Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs' head is above the water) 

Mr. Krabs: Have you boys met... (holds his millionth dollar up) ...me millionth dollar? (chuckles) 

SpongeBob: Wow, how did you get it back? 

Mr. Krabs: It wasn’t easy. Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter. So, eventually, we settled on a trade. 

SpongeBob: What did you give him? (Mr. Krabs jumps up on the boat, revealing himself as only having a head and an arm) 

Mr. Krabs: Nothing important. (laughs)

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: SpongeHenge

2009-03-01T14:54:52Z

70.176.179.82:

:'''This page has been copied from its original [http://spongywiki.com/wiki/Krabby_Road/Trans source].'''
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Two Faces of Squidward|The Two Faces of Squidward]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Banned in Bikini Bottom|Banned in Bikini Bottom]]
|}

Episode Article: [[SpongeHenge]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*Moon
*Sun
*Weather Man
*[[Perch Perkins]]
*[[Patrick]]
*The 3 Aliens
*Other Bikini Bottomites
*[[Peterson]]
==Dialogue==

Wind blows wildly

Peterson: Neptune's turned up quite a gale tonight. He must be mad about something.

Fish #2: Ha Ha Ha Ha. That's silly. Everyone knows Poseidon is the ruler of the undersea.

(Bag if goolosh blows out of fish 2's hands)

Fish #2: Oh. My leftovers.

Peterson: NOOOOOOOO!!! (cries) Why, Dear Neptune?

(SpongeBob snores. bag of goulash breaks through the window, and lands on SpongeBob's face)

SpongeBob: Mmmm-hmmmm. Goulash. (SpongeBob opens window) HEY OUT THERE! YOU DROPPED YOUR GOOLASH! HELLOOO?

(wind makes music through SpongeBob's pores)

SpongeBob: My pores are whistling in the wind. (SpongeBob jumps outside. SpongeBob makes music, and laughs.)

(Jellyfish comes to SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob: Hahahahaha! That tickles!

(Jellyfish Buzzes To Music.)

SpongeBob: Awwww. The little critter likes my whistling pores.

(Jellyfish goes into SpongeBob's head.)

SpongeBob: (laughs uncontrollably.) THAT TICKLES! (laughs uncontrollably.)

Moon: My Shift's over.

Sun: Time for work, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: All right, Jelly, out you go. It's been a lot of fun but I gotta get to work.

(Jelly follows)

SpongeBob: Quite a wind this morning, eh Jelly. (wind blows SpongeBob away) WHOOOAAA!!!!! (more jellyfish come.)

SpongeBob: Hey, Sparky, can you tell your friends I can't play right now? (SpongeBob lands back in bed.)

SpongeBob: OH!!! I'M GOING TO BE LATE!! (SpongeBob runs out the door. Jellyfish pick him up.)

SpongeBob: I told you I don't have time to play right now! (SpongeBob gets blown back.)

SpongeBob: I HAVE NOT BEEN TARDY ONE TIME IN MY CAREER AS A FRY COOK. AND I'M NOT GOING TO START TODAY! (SpongeBob gets slung out of his home and back.)

Jellyfish: HAHAHA

(Door closes on SpongeBob's hands. SpongeBob screams, fingers are huge.)

SpongeBob: I gotta call for some help. (tries but fingers are too big) My fingers are too big for the buttons. (dials with his nose) (SpongeBob calls The Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Hello, this be the Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! I need you!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Where you been, customers are blowin' in here like nobody's business! (shows Peterson flying through the door [literally] and lands on his face, then gets in line)

SpongeBob: I am sorry Mr. Krabs, but these jellyfish don't want me to go to work!

Mr. Krabs: Jellyfish.

SpongeBob: They're attracted to my whistely holes.

Mr. Krabs: Uh, I'll never understand what you just said, but if it's transportation you need, I know just the thing. (Mr. Krabs grabs a fishing rod, pulls SpongeBob by one of his craters, who is bouncing on the ground) Ooh, this one's puttin' up a fight. (SpongeBob is dragging on the ground) Fightin' too hard! (shows SpongeBob getting tossed in the air) Gotta reel him in, Krabs. Cut a little slack (SpongeBob blows back a little) then yank! (SpongeBob is being pulled hard) Cut some slack, then yank! (Pulls SpongeBob in, who's looking horrible)

Mr. Krabs: There he is. Ready for work. Quit whining boy and start pushing out them patties.

SpongeBob: Aye aye sir. (teeth fall out, now in the Krusty Krab) Let's get these patties started right! (wind blows patties onto the walls) That gives me an idea. (let's all ingredients blow from his hands onto the patties on the walls, window opens and then sound comes through SpongeBob's holes again) Oh, no. They found me. (Jellyfish come in through the chimney, SpongeBob run's to Patrick's rock.)

(In Patrick's house)

Weatherman: The weather situation is much worse across the country.

TV Reporter: And it looks like these winds aren't going to stop any time soon. (TV reporter gets blown away.)

Patrick: Ha ha ha ha. Fishy go bye-bye. (eats kelp cream)

Fish #3: And that's the way it is in your world today.

(Patrick throws ice cream cone at TV.)

Patrick: BORING! I don't want to watch any of this boring stuff. I wanna watch something decent like-

SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't have any time. I gotta hide from these jellyfish.

Patrick: What jellyfish?

SpongeBob: Ever since the wind started, a sound blows through my holes that jellyfish seem to love. (rock open's and jellyfish come in)

Patrick: Hey fella. (Jellyfish stings Patrick) OWWW! SPONGEBOB, GET OUT OF HERE!!!!! (Jellyfish blow him away) I'M SORRY, SPONGEBOB. BUT YOU HAVE BECOME A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE!

SpongeBob: Hahahaha! At least the wind stopped. (Jellyfish sting SpongeBob. SpongeBob hides in cave)

SpongeBob: I think I lost them. Well I guess I'll just stay here where it's safe...and quiet...and dark. Don't worry, I'll just stay here for a second. Behind these rocks. These sanitary, lifeless rocks.

Narrator: LATER

SpongeBob: Hey, buddy. Just thought I'd spruce you up a bit. Wuzzat. Oh, you don't say, well guess what? You're my best friend too. Mmm-hmmm. Come on, Let's have some fun. Look buddy, mmmmmmmmm. Dinner's ready. Let's have some tea. Do you want some sugar, buddy? One lump, or two? Oh, you can have it all. (puts sugar in tea) I feel comfortable around you. (sugar crumble in mouth) Can I confess something? Cause I know you’ll understand. I have this-problem. I seem to attract-JELLYFISH! HAHAHAHA! How do you work that out? hmmmmm

(SpongeBob stone stays still)

SpongeBob: Yeah, yeah. I'm in a loss, too. OH BARNACLES. I'M GONNA BE STUCK IN THIS CAVE FOREVER!! (sighs)

(SpongeBob stone whistle to music with his pores.)

SpongeBob: Of course, buddy. Brilliant idea!!!

(SpongeBob takes stone outside)

SpongeBob: Let's see what happens this time.

(Jellyfish come)

SpongeBob: Whoooaaa, here they come! Go Get em, buddy!!!

(Jellyfish hate music, and buzz over to SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Hey guys. What do you think about my little friend's song?

(SpongeBob stone plays foul notes)

SpongeBob: Is there something wrong?

(Jellyfish sting SpongeBob. SpongeBob runs back to cave.)

SpongeBob: Hmmmmm. I crafted one stone SpongeBob that provided a note in a foul key. But if I crafted another,(pulls down extremely complicated equation on a blackboard) the dimension of the hollow center multiplied by the number of holes, may offer another tune. One that could soothe those jellyfish. But which one is the right size?! Hmm. I'll just have to make a bunch of them.

(SpongeBob makes the eight musical stones)

SpongeBob: All right. That ougta do her.

(SpongeBob stones sig the right notes)

SpongeBob: WOW. It actually worked.....Ah. They're finally leaving me alone. I can go back to work now! (laughs) Krusty Krab, Here I Come!!!

(SpongeBob stops running)

SpongeBob: How long was I gone?!

(SpongeBob finds Krusty Krab buried in sand)

SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Narrator: 3,000 YEARS LATER

The Three aliens float down to the SpongeBob Stones

Alien: To this day, no one knows why these mysterious statues were created or by whom. All we know is that the genius of their design has caused the annual migration of [[jellyfish]] to their wondrous tune.(jellyfish come and go in and out of SpongeBob stones holes) (Off in distance, SpongeBob laughs)

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Die SteinBobs]]

Episode Transcript: Rule of Dumb

2009-03-01T14:53:45Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Driven to Tears|Driven to Tears]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Born to Be Wild|Born to Be Wild]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Rule of Dumb]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]

==Dialogue==

(pink starfish in a suit walks up and knocks on Patrick's rock) 

Patrick: Yeah? 

Starfish: Good day, sir. I am... 

Patrick: (gasp) I know exactly who you are! (closes rock) 

SpongeBob: Ah, there's nothing like spending quality time with my Gar-Gar. 

Lady on TV: Jason, I have to be honest. There's someone else. (grabs an elderly fish) 

Man on TV: Grandpa! 

Patrick: (pokes head out of TV) SpongeBob, help! He's onto me! I don't have much time! (pants. Makes a fire in SpongeBob’s
living room and burns some of his books) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing? 

Patrick: I have to get rid of these books! (shows 'HOW TO READ' book) 

SpongeBob: Why? 

Patrick: I'll show you why. (shoves SpongeBob’s face into his window looking at the pink starfish) See him? He's from the
library. He knows about my overdue books. (SpongeBob gasps) Uh-huh. Which means I'm gonna get thrown into the big house.
And you know what that means... 

SpongeBob: Small portion meals? 

Patrick: Exactly! (crying) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, don't you worry. I got your back, man. (later, SpongeBob approaches the starfish outside) Hi there. 

Starfish: Salutations, young one. Say, you wouldn't happen to know that starfish that lives under this rock, would you? 

SpongeBob: Huh? No, I don't know any starfish. Even if I did know this "alleged" starfish, Patrick wouldn't owe any overdue

library books. 

Starfish: (chuckles) Well, it's too bad you don't know Patrick Star, because I am from the Royal Ministry, and have a gift
for him. (takes out a crown) 

Patrick: (runs through SpongeBob’s wall) Ooh, what is it? (takes it and tries to bite and lick it) This is the worst-
tasting gift ever! 

Starfish: That's because you're suppose to wear it, not eat it. Allow me to show you something. (clattering) Let's see
here. Aha! What I hold in my hands is a family tree that goes back centuries. It starts with the marriage of King Amoeba
and Queen Mildew. Then, through a few inbred generations, ends at you, Sir Patrick, which makes you a descendant of
royalty. You are a king. And now it's time I adjourn to the Royal Ministry, where I should be at your service. Your
Highness. 

SpongeBob: Wow, Patrick, that's great! 

Patrick: What is? 

SpongeBob: That you're king! 

Patrick: What's a king? 

SpongeBob: When you're a king, you can get anything you want.

Patrick: Anything I want? (stomach grumbles) SpongeBob, do you think we can get something to eat? 

SpongeBob: Your wish is my command, your majesty. (laughing. Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval
clothes on) Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king.

Patrick: King needs food badly. 

Mr. Krabs: What's this all ab... (gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes) Well, well, well. What
can I do for you, Patrick? 

SpongeBob: The king would like... 

Mr. Krabs: Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy. 

Patrick: I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries... 

Mr. Krabs: I've got a better idea. (cut to a bunch of food on the table and Patrick chewing loudly) A buffet fit for a
king. 

Patrick: (belches) Tasty. 

Mr. Krabs: Listen, Patrick, there comes a time in every man's life when he's got to settle down. You know, get a wife, kids,
a father-in-law you give all your money to. 

Patrick: Uh-huh, that sounds great. Hey, can I get a little more ketchup? 

Mr. Krabs: How about you pay the check, instead? 

Patrick: Oh sorry, Mr Krabs, no can do. As king of Bikini Bottom, I am allowed to have anything I want. Isn't that right,
SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: That is correct. Anything you want, and it's all free. 

Mr. Krabs: All free?!!? (kicks them out) Nobody eats in me restaurant for free, king or no king! (customer runs out with drink
and patty) 

Patrick: Are you gonna eat that? 

Fish: I was planning to, why? 

Patrick: I want it. (takes it) 

Fish: Hey! What gives you the right to take my food? 

Patrick: Tell him, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Uhh, Pat, I'm not sure this is what being king is all about. 

Patrick: I thought you said I could have anything I want. Was my bestest friend lying to me? 

SpongeBob: (chuckles) Don't be ridiculous, Patrick. I'd never lie to you. 

Patrick: Good! Now tell him. 

SpongeBob: Hi. By proclamation of the Royal Ministry, the king is entitled to have anything he wants, whatever he wants.
(chuckles) 

Fish: This isn't fair. (walks off) 

Patrick: Life isn't fair, pal. Get used to it. 

Fish #2: I finally did it! At long last, I've acquired issue #2 of Wonder Space Fish, and in mint condition. Now my 40 year-
old life and my comic book collection are complete. Mom's gonna be so proud of me. (bumps into Patrick) 

Patrick: No, she won't be, because these comic books are mine! 

Fish #2: But, I've spent my entire life collecting those. 

Patrick: Yeah, well, now you can spend the rest of your life crying about it. I'm the king! 

Fish #2: I will cry about it. (crying...) I'll cry to my mom! (cries...) 

Patrick: (laughs) I love being king. (cut to the jewelry store where Patrick gets a diamond and puts it in his belly
button, SpongeBob taking the lollipops from the kids and Patrick licking all of them, Patrick taking a mother's baby's
pacifier, taking a plunger, a toaster, and dentures. There's now a line of people giving Patrick what he wants) 

SpongeBob: Ok, thank you, sir. I'm sure King Patrick could use this walker. 

Elderly Fish: I hope so. Neptune knows I did. (falls over) Oof! 

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Yes, sire? 

Patrick: (slurping a drink and reading a magazine) I need your opinion on something. Do you think the giant flat-screen TV
should go over the fancy egg display or the indoor swimming pool? (cut to Squidward sleeping then waking up to birds
chirping and the sun shining) 

Squidward: Hello, sunshine. (chuckles then yawns as he walks over to his window) What a beautiful morning. Just perfect.
(Squidward falls over from side to side in his house. Patrick is using a crane to move Squidward's house out of the way) 

Patrick: Back. Back. Okay. Yeah, that's good. (crane drops the house) Perfect. (Squidward climbs out of his upstairs window)
 

Squidward: (stuttering) My-my-my house. What's happened to my...huh? SpongeBob, Patrick. What the barnacles is going on
here?! Look at what you've done. Look at my poor front yard. 

Patrick: Your front yard? 

SpongeBob: Umm, his royal highness is building a royal ferris wheel. 

Squidward: Ferris wheel? 

SpongeBob: I know, isn't it great? 

Squidward: No, it's not great! It's horrible. Oh, that's it. Stop! People of Bikini Bottom, stop! Stop! Patrick's no king.
Look at him. How can this pink blob be king? 

Patrick: (looking stupidly) Uh... 

Squidward: You. Do you honestly believe that that mindless starfish can possibly be the king of anything? (Patrick puts his
hand in his mouth) King of Morons, maybe. 

Worker: He might be on to something. 

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, see? Uh-huh. See? 

Workers: Why are we giving this guy all our stuff? (everyone walks off) 

Squidward: See? See? You're not a king. And now, they all think so, too! 

Patrick: Get him! Attack! Attack! (panting) SpongeBob, get him! So I decree. Attack! 

SpongeBob: Uh, right away, your majesty. Umm, Squidward? 

Squidward: What? 

SpongeBob: Umm, could I get you to sign this treaty promising your eternal loyalty to King Patrick? 

Squidward: (takes decree) Give me that. A treaty, huh? Well, here's what I think of your treaty. (throws it away. Cut to
inside Patrick's castle where SpongeBob has the treaty stuck in his forehead) 

Patrick: My royal subjects have deserted me. And it's all 'cause of that horrible Squidward. This is all his fault. His,
his, not mine, his! (crackling, boings) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, what's happened to you? 

Patrick: I don't know what you mean. 

SpongeBob: Uh... (laughs) You know, Mr Krabs is probably wondering where I am...and... 

Patrick: And what... 

SpongeBob: Um, well...it's just that, um, you're kinda being a jerk. 

Patrick: Huh? (laughs) I thought you were going to say I was abusing my power. 

SpongeBob: Uh...well, I... 

Patrick: Who's saying I'm abusing my power!!!!!!!!!! (SpongeBob shrinks) I'll put the whole town in prison. (SpongeBob runs away)
Questioning my authority is treason! All these kingly speeches are making me thirsty. SpongeBob, I request a drink.
SpongeBob? (snorts) SpongeBob?! Everybody's gone. I'm all alone. Fine, I'll get it myself. (walks by the mirror) 

Mirror: Knock knock. 

Patrick: Who's there? br>

Mirror: I am you & you are me. 

Patrick & Mirror: I don't get it. 

Patrick: (wires connect in his brain then screams) What have I become? (runs out) A monster! Monster! (runs into te
librarian before) Huh? Oh, it's, it's you! Here, here, take it. I don't want it anymore. It's turned me into a monster. 

Starfish: Oh, I think I know what's going on here. Patrick, with great power comes great responsibility. You haven't a clue
what I just told you, do you? 

Patrick: No. Uh-uh. 

Starfish: Oh, just as well. I've come to take the crown back, as it seems that you aren't royalty after all. 

Patrick: Huh? 

Starfish: (takes out family history) I've discovered this coffee stain, which upon removal, reveals that Sir Gary is the
true heir to the king's crown. (cut to Gary having a crown put on his head) 

SpongeBob: Well, would you look at that. Gary, you're royalty. 

Gary: Maow.

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Sleepy Time

2009-03-01T14:47:40Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Karate Choppers|Karate Choppers]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Suds|Suds]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Sleepy Time]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Pearl]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]

==Dialogue==

'''SpongeBob:''' Ah, time for bed, Gary. (takes off shoes and socks but socks still standing up but when SpongeBob throws them on the floor, the socks go down and Gary puts them on his eyes)

'''Gary:''' Meow?

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Gary. (pulls socks off Gary's eyes) You know what they say: curiosity salted the snail. Mind your wandering eye, you little mollusk. Sweet dreams, Gary. (snores and a dream cloud appears with the background of Krusty Krab stuff. SpongeBob eyes appear then his eyes and then his mouth on a rock) Hey! Over here! (laughs while his arms wiggle on the ground. Both arms attach to the rock and the rock moves over to the other items. SpongeBob’s arms grab the eyes and puts them on the rock and then his legs come out and put his shoes on and his body is seen. A car comes over SpongeBob and sits him in it. SpongeBob’s nose grows out) Wait a minute. I don't have a driver's license! (driver's license appears) Wow. My driver's license. I can't believe it! I sure take a good picture. (drives through a sign that says "Road Ends") Darn! I should have grown a mustache. (the boat starts bumping up and down rapidly; SpongeBob is now driving off-road, hitting bumps in the sand; he smashes into a rock and flies out of the boat, still holding his license) How could I have forgotten the most important rule of driving? Always wear your seatbelt. (flies over the Krusty Krab) Hey, I can see the Krusty Krab from here. (Mrs. Puff floats up to him) Mrs. Puff! Look! I've finally got my driver's license! 
'''Mrs. Puff:''' (takes his license and tears it up) Not even in your dreams, Mr. SquarePants!

'''SpongeBob:''' No! (flies through the dream cloud and on SpongeBob’s real bed) Ouch! Where am I? (walks and looks up to his real self) Is that me? Or is this me? Am I still dreaming?

'''Gary:''' Meow. (snoring) Meow.

'''SpongeBob:''' (walks up to Gary's dream cloud) This must be Gary's dream. I'm gonna get a closer look. (jumps into the dream cloud and falls to the ground) Whoa! Wow. Look at all these books. I wonder where Gary is. Gary! Huh? (walks up to Gary reading a book) Excuse me, sir. Have you seen...? (Gary turns around)

'''Gary:''' SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' Gary?

'''Gary:''' How dare you invade the sanctity of my dreams?

'''SpongeBob:''' Gary! You can talk!

'''Gary:''' (sighs) In dreams, one is not tethered by earthly limitations.

'''SpongeBob:''' What does that mean?

'''Gary:''' Come. For ages, dreams have been thought of as windows to another realm. (picks up a book and reads from it) "Let me not mar that perfect dream by an aurora stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again." Emily Dickinson wrote that.

'''SpongeBob:''' Who?

'''Gary:''' (flips a few pages) Here's one you might know. (clears throat) There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true.

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Gee Gary, you sure are smart.

'''Gary:''' Did you think my shell was full of hot air?

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, thanks for the info, Gary. I'm going back to my own dream now.

'''Gary:''' Beware of your wandering eye, you little poriferan!

'''SpongeBob:''' (jumps out of Gary's dream cloud and hops up onto his alarm clock to get into his own; sees Patrick's dream cloud outside the window) I wonder what Patrick's dreaming. (Patrick is stuck to the bottom of his rock, sucking his thumb and snoring; SpongeBob runs over) I can't resist! (laughs and jumps in; inside, he opens a door; everything is white, and there is no scenery, just Patrick rocking back and forth on a 25¢ kiddie ride) Hey Patrick!

'''Patrick:''' Hi SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob:''' (walks over) You know Patrick, this is a dream. You can do anything you want.

'''Patrick:''' Yup.

'''SpongeBob:''' I mean anything! Watch. I can turn into a skyscraper. (transforms into the shape of a skyscraper) Going up! Eh? (sees that Patrick is unresponsive; looks dull) I can make... a million of me! (changes back to his normal shape and size, this time with a million copies of himself) Eh? Eh? (the clones disappear) Ah, tartar sauce. I'm going to a different dream. (leaves)

'''Patrick:''' Okay. Bye SpongeBob. (kiddie ride comes to a halt; Patrick reaches into his pocket and pulls out another quarter and goes to put it in the slot, but accidentally drops it and it rolls away) Oh!!! (the quarter falls into a grate) Shoot, that was my last quarter. (sits on the ride with a dull gaze; meanwhile, SpongeBob hops out of the dream cloud and starts to walk down the block; he stops below Squidward's dream cloud)

'''SpongeBob''' Ooh, this is gonna be good! (sucks in air and floats up into the cloud; inside, Squidward is playing clarinet in front of an applauding crowd; he has a powdered wig on his head) Psst! Squidward! (waving in the audience; Squidward stops playing) Hey, Squidward!

'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob!

'''King:''' Ahem! (sitting in the balcony above the stage) Why do you stop playing, Wolfgang Amadeus Tentacles?

'''Squidward:''' Yes, Your Highness. (Squidward starts to play but SpongeBob tells the kind a joke and Squidward stops playing again) SpongeBob!

'''King:''' (stops laughing) Hey! I have not instructed you to stop! Now play! (turns back to SpongeBob) Now, do tell me the one about the man from Peru again.

'''Squidward:''' (really mad) Sponge... (snaps his clarinet in half; the audience gasps)...bob?

'''King:''' I came here to hear beautiful music! If I don't get my wish, it'll be your head! (Squidward laughs nervously)

'''SpongeBob:''' Psst! Squidward! (SpongeBob is a clarinet and Squidward
looks down so SpongeBob winks and points to himself) Eh? Eh?

'''Squidward:''' (throws the broken pieces of the clarinet off the stage and crosses his arms) No way.

'''King:''' Ahem! (looks at Squidward)

'''Squidward:''' (looks at SpongeBob) Please, SpongeBob. No tricks.

'''SpongeBob:''' Trust me, Squidward. (Squidward pretends to play SpongeBob while SpongeBob sings in a loud, raucous voice) La la, la la la la la la la la la! (the audience gasps) La la, la la la!

'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob!

'''King:''' (crying) Why have you stopped playing that wonderful music? (Squidward looks at SpongeBob and smiles then picks him up and plays) Audience Member: His music touches me ever-so. I fear that my tears my stain my petticoat. (everyone cheers)

'''Squidward:''' (bows) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (a few audience members run up and grab SpongeBob and push Squidward out of the way) What is this instrument that produces such lovely sound?

'''SpongeBob:''' (turns back to normal and runs away while audience chases him) So long, Squidward! (audience members chase after SpongeBob pushing Squidward into a fruit barrel thing. SpongeBob runs out the door and lands on the top of the tree dome) Hey! I'm at Sandy's! (Sandy sleeping in her tree and SpongeBob jumps in her dream cloud and opens a plane door) Aw, this looks neat! I wonder...(falls out of the plane) Ahh!

'''Sandy:''' (surfs up on a glide board to SpongeBob) Hey SpongeBob, what brings you here?

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey Sandy! What's going on?

'''Sandy:''' (turns upside down) Well, we're free-falling from 114,000 feet, and we're gonna land on that itty-bitty target. (a target is shown on the ground and SpongeBob and Sandy spins around)

'''SpongeBob:''' This seems kind of dangerous!

'''Sandy:''' Not as long as you've got a big old parachute!

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay! (gives her a thumbs-up; both his shoes inflate)

'''Sandy:''' Not pair of shoes, SpongeBob, parachute!

'''SpongeBob:''' Gotcha! (lifts up a green parakeet perched on his finger)

'''Sandy:''' Not a parakeet! Para... (crashes in a truck labeled "Clam Manure" while SpongeBob lands on the target)...medic.

'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh! (crashes through the target and flips on the ground) Ouch! All right, that's it. No more messing with people's dreams. (sees a dream cloud coming out of Mr. Krabs' house) H-h-hey! Mr. Krabs. (climbs the anchor house and raises his head right under a pink flower in Pearl's dream) Uhh...Mr. Krabs?

'''Pearl:''' Hello, SpongeBob! (sits at a table with a green rabbit and a brown teddy bear, she pours some tea into the bear's cup)

'''SpongeBob:''' (waves) Oh, Pearl. This is your dream.

'''Pearl:''' You're just in time for the tea party!

'''SpongeBob:''' Actually, I was looking for your dad's dream.

'''Pearl:''' Oh. He's next door. (shakes head in disappointment) Boys don't understand the sophistication of tea parties. Right, Mr. Stuffy?

'''SpongeBob:''' Bye! (gets out of Pearl's dream and goes over to Mr. Krabs) I bet Mr. Krabs' dream will be more robust. (peeks in the cloud and just floats on his backside in the large ocean until he hits Mr. Krabs boat)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I've got you now, you slippery demon! (inside the boat, he grips into a fishing rod) You're putting up a good fight, yes you are. (SpongeBob hops into the boat)

'''SpongeBob:''' Whatcha doing, Mr. Krabs?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm picking Neptune's pocket!

'''SpongeBob:''' What are you talking about?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm talking about cold hard flippin' cash. It's the mighty Moby Dollar! (the dollar hooked on to the line goes above the water and then goes back under) Do you see her, boy? (reels it in) I got her! Here she comes! Thar she blows! (the dollar spits tons of pennies out of its blowhole)

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Look, Mr. Krabs. Pennies!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Never mind the small change, lad. Get the net!

'''SpongeBob:''' (grabs a small butterfly net) This one?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' No, no, no, no! The money net! It's in me back pocket.

'''SpongeBob:''' (reaches into Mr. Krabs' back pocket and pulls out a huge wallet with Mr. Krabs' license in it) Wow! You look real good with a mustache, Mr. Krabs.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Never mind that, boy. Ready the net!

'''SpongeBob:''' Net ready, sir! (opens up the wallet)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (pulls the dollar out of the water and heaves it into the wallet) I did it! (gets excited) I finally did it!

'''SpongeBob:''' Congratulations, Mr. Krabs. (puts down the wallet and wants to shake hands with Mr. Krabs but when he tries the wallet bounces toward the back of the boat); the wallet bounces away)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' No, SpongeBob! Don't let it go!

'''SpongeBob:''' Huh?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Get it, SpongeBob! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! (SpongeBob chases after it, but it hops off the back end of the boat)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey! Hey! I...!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' No! (the dollar jumps in the lagoon and swims away)

'''SpongeBob:''' This'll make a make a great fish story, eh Mr. Krabs?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh SpongeBob...

'''SpongeBob:''' Yes, Mr. Krabs?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (throws a rope around him) You're fired! (fires some sort of gun with a plunger inside it to which the rope is attached)

'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh!!!!!!!! (gets shot out of the dream cloud and into Plankton's dream on a building) Ooh! Hey, Plankton's dreaming about Bikini Bottom.

'''Plankton:''' Zap! (zaps a building near SpongeBob and fish come running out) I see you. (stomps up to another building, twenty times the size of his normal self) Zap! (shoots a green laser out of his eye)
Fish: My leg!

'''Plankton:''' I see you. Zap!

'''SpongeBob:''' Plankton! (tries to get himself untied from the rope around his ankle)

'''Plankton:''' I see you...(SpongeBob gets untied and drops to the ground) Zap! (zaps and disintegrates the building that SpongeBob was on then walks to the Krusty Krab) Oh look, it's the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. (steps on it) Crush! (picks up the Krusty Krab sign and starts to lick it while walking away) Lick, lick!

'''SpongeBob:''' This isn't a dream, this is a nightmare!

'''Gary:''' Meow!

'''SpongeBob:''' (stops and looks) Gary! Gary! No!

'''Gary:''' Meow! (Plankton still coming towards Gary making giant step sounds)

'''Plankton:''' Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

'''SpongeBob:''' Gary!!! (jumps for Gary) I've got you, Gary!

'''Plankton:''' Peek-a-boo, here comes my foot! (steps on SpongeBob and Gary) Huh? (lifts his foot from pain) Yow!!!

'''SpongeBob:''' (looking like a thumbtack) I think he's got the point. (laughs)

'''Plankton:''' (as Plankton's voice gets higher and higher until he goes back to his normal size) Whoa! (three burnt fish walk up to Plankton looking mad) Well, I guess I've got some explaining to do, huh? (fish on left lifts his foot about to stomp on Plankton) No! No! No! Not the face! (gets stepped on and his dream cloud pops and SpongeBob comes out and plops on the ground)

'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh! (SpongeBob walks home into his own dream cloud where his real self is still sleeping) Ah, that was fun and all, but it's good to be back in my own dream cloud. (goes to sleep) Ah....(wakes up after hearing his friends voices and faces hovering around his head)

'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob:''' Huh?

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob!

'''Sandy:''' SpongeBob!

'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob:''' What do you want from me? Leave me alone! (wakes up from Squidward shaking him) No! No, no, no, no!

'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob! (wakes SpongeBob up)

'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh!! (friends stand around his bed, except Patrick came late) What are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?

'''Squidward:''' No. We are not having a slumber party!

'''Sandy:''' Do us all a favor SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams! (everyone agrees) Come on, SpongeBob!

'''Plankton:''' Take a hike!

'''Squidward:''' Don't we get enough of you during the day?

'''Gary:''' Meow!

'''Patrick:''' Does anyone have a quarter? (all stare at Patrick)

{{Transcripts/Season 1}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: New Digs

2009-03-01T14:45:10Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Good Ol' Whatshisname|Good Ol' Whatshisname]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Krabs a la Mode|Krabs a la Mode]]
|}

Episode Article: [[New Digs]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Father SquarePants]]
*[[Mother SquarePants]]
*Customers

==Dialogue==

SpongeBob: Got to hurry, Gary. The sooner I get to bed, the sooner I'll get to sleep, and the sooner I get to sleep, the sooner I'll wake up, and the sooner I wake up, ooh ho-ho! The sooner I get to go to work at the best job in the whole wide world: The Krusty Krab! Now, to just put on these sleepy time blinders, before I run excitedly to bed. (trips over a treasure chest. Gary slithers past him and onto his newspaper. SpongeBob finally gets into bed) Well, good night, Gary. 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: I'm just going to turn out the lights. (does so) Clickety poo. And close my eyes and go to sleep. (SpongeBob lays in bed awake while Gary is snoring) Just close my eyes and go to sleep. (grunts trying to close his eyes but can't) Maybe if I run around it'll tire me out. (runs around the room then jumps on the bed but breaks it) Oh, I just got to get some sleep! (stand on his head on the floor) There's only one thing for this. (cut to SpongeBob holding a glass of milk) Ah, that's the stuff. A glass of warm snail milk. (drinks it then throws the glass away. Cannot go to sleep yet) Ah, why isn't it working? (falls face first on the ground and goes to sleep. Gary crawls over him. Cut to morning when the clam wakes everyone up. SpongeBob wakes up with drool all over his mouth) Whoa, Gary, what happened? (remembers what time it is and crashes through his front door with all his clothes on except for his left show, which is still in his home) Help, I'm late for work! (checks his pocket watch) Oh, my gosh, only twenty seconds to go! What the...? (sees the bridge ahead is out) Bridge out? (jumps over the gap and continues to run then gasps again after he sees a hopscotch board on the ground
where three girls are) Hopscotch! (plays a game of hopscotch perfectly. The three little girls cheer as SpongeBob continues to run) Almost there. (runs in the Krusty Krab and jumps at the time clock with his time slip in hand. The clock turns to 9:01) No!! I'm late. What's Mr. Krabs going to say? (Mr. Krabs is cleaning the door. SpongeBob runs into the kitchen) (thinking) Tardy Pants! You, sir, are a tardy pants! Wait till Mr. Krabs finds out. You better think of something to save your job. 

Squidward: One Krabby Patty and Krabby Fries for table number four. 

SpongeBob: Order up! (runs to the table) Here you go, sir. One Krabby Patty, Krabby Fries, and Krabby drink in three seconds flat. (smiles at Mr Krabs as he leaps into the kitchen. Customer spills her drink) 

Squidward: Spill at table... 

SpongeBob: I'm on it. (mopping spill) Nothing a dedicated, on-time employee can't handle. (mops the kids head) Kiddies get a free touch-up. (leaps into the kitchen) Ta-da! All done the job. 

Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: (jumps at Mr. Krabs' feet) No! Please don't throw me out into the street. I am so sorry for what I did to you. 

Mr. Krabs: What'd you do? 

SpongeBob: I was a minute late for work. 

Mr. Krabs: A minute late? 

SpongeBob: A whole sixty seconds. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, don't do it again. 

SpongeBob: No, no! You have to punish me. 

Mr. Krabs: What? Okay, uh, then wipe down the salad bar. 

SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir. 

Mr. Krabs: (walks out of the Krusty Krab) And good night spongebob. 

SpongeBob: I love it here, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheesh. 

Squidward: If you love it so much, why don't you just live here? (chuckling. Cut to SpongeBob straining to get his feet through a cardboard box he's going to sleep in. He gets his feet through the box and uses napkins as a blanket) 

SpongeBob: Somethin's not right. What is it? Do I miss my own clock? Maybe it's my own bed. (snaps fingers) Oh, that's it. I'll make the Krusty Krab just like home. What do you say Gary? (Gary is a toilet paper roll with cucumbers for eyes. Cut to next day where Mr Krabs enters the Krusty Krab and sees SpongeBob sleeping in his bed in the dining area) 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? What in Neptune's Navy is going on here? 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob reporting for duty, sir. 

Mr. Krabs: How long you been here? 

SpongeBob: All night, sir. 

Mr. Krabs: All night? 

SpongeBob: That's right, I'm going to live here from now on, so I'll never ever be tardy pants again. 

Mr. Krabs: Hold on! This ain't no hotel, son. 

SpongeBob: (gets out a stack of cash from his pocket) Here's my first month's rent. 

Mr. Krabs: rent? Okay. Well, let's get ready for the customers. Start scrubbing the grill... 

SpongeBob: Already done, sir. (grill is spotless) 

Mr. Krabs: Well, start cooking some krabby patties... 

SpongeBob: Done. (a bunch of krabby patties are in the kitchen ready for serving. SpongeBob punches his time card) All that, before we even open up our doors, sir. 

Mr. Krabs: Okay. Then get cleaned up. You're a mess. 

SpongeBob: Eww, I guess I could use some freshening up. (ketchup and mustard stains are all over his clothes. Cut to Squidward putting a bucket of dishes on the conveyor belt but the dishwasher stops) 

Squidward: Jammed again. (reaches inside to fix it but pokes SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: Ooh. Hi, Squidward. 

Squidward: SpongeBob? What are you doing here? 

SpongeBob: Oh, I live here now. 

Squidward: In the dishwasher? 

SpongeBob: No, at the Krusty Krab. Now, if you'll excuse me. 

Squidward: SpongeBob living at the Krusty Krab? Wait a minute, if he's living here, that means he won't be living next to me. Oh. (imagines falling in a pile of flowers but it's really pots and pans. Mr. Krabs is seeing Squidward making an angel on the floor) 

Mr. Krabs: Must be a full moon. (cut to closing time) Mr. Squidward? 

Squidward: Just saying goodnight to SpongeBob tardy pants, Mr. Krabs. Sweet dreams, SpongeBob. You look much more comfier in here than in your old home next to me!. 

SpongeBob: Won't you miss me living next door, Squidward? 

Squidward: (laughing) No. Coming Eugene. (cheers as he walks out the Krusty Krab) Good night's sleep, here I come. (cut to next day where Squidward is talking to a customer) And when I went home at night, guess what? 

Customer: He wasn't there? 

Squidward: Right! And when I woke up in the morning... 

Customer: Can I just get my change? 

Squidward: (laughing) He still wasn't there. 

Customer: Come on, man, my change. 

Squidward: (grabs something out of the register) Here you go. 

Customer: Yeah, thanks... (gasps) Oh, real funny, buddy. Two socks and a pair of tighty whities. 

Squidward: Socks and... (gasps. socks and underwear are in the register instead of money) What the...? SpongeBob, why is your underwear in the cash register? 

SpongeBob: Well, I had to put them somewhere and my underwear drawer is all filled up with krabby patties and the freezer is filled up with my iced snowflake collection. (blocks of snowfalkes are in the freezer) So I put the cash from the cash register in the pickle jar. 

Squidward: What? 

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Oh, lighten up, Squidward. 'Tis harmless tomfoolery. 

SpongeBob: Do you want to know where the mustard is? (Gary is covered in mustard) 

Squidward: Ah! Eww. (cut to later) Well, he may be twice as annoying at work, but it still beats having him as a neighbor. (sighs. A clothesline of underwear enter the dining area) 

SpongeBob: (sings) Laundry song, la-la-la! Sing about your laundry all day long. La-la-la-la laundry song. 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't be hanging your delicates in me customer's faces. (customer sees underwear and stops chewing) 

SpongeBob: Well, they don't see to mind. (customer takes down a pair of underwear and uses it as a napkin) 

Mr. Krabs: Oh! I have a disgusting clientele. Who spend their money freely. 

SpongeBob: (chuckles) Aye aye, captain. 

Mr. Krabs: Because I'd hate for a certain living arrangement-- meaning yours-- to interfere with said money spending. (tries opening his office door but can't) What the barnacles? (opens the door slightly to see all of SpongeBob’s stuff in his office) SpongeBob! Why is your bed in me office? 

SpongeBob: It was getting kind of crowded in the kitchen. (squeezes inside the office)So I moved in here. 

Mr. Krabs: You can't stay in here. These are my private quarters, boy. The only play I can escape for solitude during the day. 

SpongeBob: But I'll only be here at night. Please, Mr. Krabs, I won't get in your way. Please! 

Mr. Krabs: Oh... Okay, but I'll have to raise your rent. 

SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, Mr... (doorbell rings. Spongebob gasps) My parents! 

Mr. Krabs: Your parents? 

SpongeBob: (opens up front doors) Mom! Dad! Come on in. (enters Mr. Krabs' office) And this is the guest room. Mom, Dad, Mr. Krabs. 

Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, hello. (Mr. Krabs' eye twitches. In the dining area, customers are slipping on snail trail that Gary is leaving on the floor) 

SpongeBob: Well, I'll let you two get settled. 

Customer #2: Is this your snail? 

SpongeBob: (gasps) Gary! Bad boy! No! 

Customer #2: Put that thing on a leash. 

Mr. Krabs: (holding golden clam-shaped soap containers in his hand) Squidward, who put these fancy smelling soaps in the restroom? 

Squidward: The same person who knitted these napkin holders and embroidered the menu. (shows both items) 

Mr. Krabs: (gasps) Argh. (walks to his office) That boy's taking the manliness out of me restaurant. Oh, he didn't. Floral print curtains in me office? That's it. That's the last straw! I'm not putting up with this any longer. (rips curtains down to reveal Mrs. SquarePants taking a shower) 

Mrs. SquarePants: Oh! 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, oh, I...I'm sorry. I didn't know... (walks backwards into Mr. SquarePants) 

Mr. SquarePants: What's going on in here?! 

Mr. Krabs: No, I... (thrown out of his office. Hears buzzing in the kitchen) What the...? 

Patrick: (walks out of the kitchen) Thanks, SpongeBob. (points to his lower back) If I could reach it, I'd do it myself. (all the customers run out in disgust) 

Mr. Krabs: Me customers! (cries...) Gone! Gone! Gone!! All they wanted... was to give me...their money. (strained cries...) SpongeBob! Pack your bags, boy. You're moving out. (SpongeBob is shaving in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Squidward is about to relax in his lawn chair when a moving truck drives up) 

Squidward: What the...? SpongeBob, what are you doing here? 

SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs kicked me out, so now we're neighbors again. Hey, my drums! (plays the drums frantically. Squidward yells. Cut to next day where Mr. Krabs opens up the Krusty Krab but, this time, all of Squidward's stuff is inside) 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward!!!!

{{Template:Transcripts/Season 5}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

Episode Transcript: The Thing

2009-03-01T14:43:41Z

70.176.179.82:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Das Ding]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: That's No Lady|That's No Lady]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Hocus Pocus|Hocus Pocus]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Thing]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Thing]]

==Dialogue==

(Squidward peeks out his door to make sure SpongeBob is not around) 

Squidward: It's too quiet. Something isn't right around here. (crawls around to SpongeBob’s downstairs window. Peeks in
but sees SpongeBob is not there) Could it be? SpongeBob is gone for the evening. (cut to Squidward in his house in a robe)
Here's to a delightful evening alone with you, public television. (slurps his drink while watching a squid on TV about to
play his clarinet. When he does, SpongeBob’s laughter is heard instead of a clarinet sound. SpongeBob and Patrick are
outside playing) 

Patrick: Do it again. Do it again. 

SpongeBob: Ok. (puts two handfuls of sand in his mouth then squirts it out of his head like play dough hair) 

Squidward: Will you two be quiet?! I'm trying to watch public television. (closes window) 

Patrick: Do it again, do it again. 

Squidward: If those two want to ruin my quiet evening at home, they're going to have to do better than that. (watches more
of the squid with the clarinet. Pounding on the door causes the music to stop. Squidward gets up and answers the door) What?
 

SpongeBob: Squidward! (Squidward slams door in their faces. Patrick sighs) 

Squidward: You're still there, aren't you? (opens door) 

SpongeBob: Good evening, Squidward. 

Squidward: Not so fast. You two little monsters aren't about to ruin my evening. 

SpongeBob: Oh, we're not here to ruin it. We're here to enhance it. 

Squidward: Isn't that right, Pat? 

Patrick: Yeah. We're here... (Squidward slams door) 

Squidward: Can't a hard working Squid get a little tv time alone? (sits on his couch then notices SpongeBob and Patrick)
SpongeBob? Patrick? Oh, what's the point? (SpongeBob and Patrick slurp their drink while watching the Squid with the
clarinet on tv) 

Patrick: Could you turn it up? 

SpongeBob: Uh, Squidward, could you turn it down a little? 

Patrick: Squidward, what's this about? 

SpongeBob: Squidward, how come he's so emotional? 

Patrick: Is he the bad guy? 

SpongeBob: Squidward? 

Patrick: Squidward? 

SpongeBob: Squidward? 

Patrick: Squidward? 

SpongeBob: Squidward? 

Patrick: Squidward? 

Squidward: (screams) That's it! All I wanted to do was watch some smooth jazz on public television. But apparently, that's
not going to happen. Once again I'm going to have to leave my own home just to get some peace and quiet. Enjoy my tv.
(scoffs) 

Patrick: Oh wait, I think I've seen this before. This part's funny. 

Squidward: I'm going to go somewhere far away. Somewhere far away from those two watching public television on my tv. Pfah!
They wouldn't know real culture even if it hit them like a truck full of cement. (rides into a cement truck full of cement) Oh.
(cement unloads on top of Squidward. Squidward tries to get unstuck and is launched through coral field, a sewer pipe, and
into a colorful group of jellyfish, who sting him. He falls over and screams out a bubble) Day five, I think. I've been
waddling these fields. I'm hungry, tired, and lost. The only good thing about this is no SpongeBob. (reads sign) Jellyfish
Fields. (sighs) 

SpongeBob: What is that thing, Patrick?

Patrick: I dunno. Let's get a closer look. (both run up to the thing as it's trying to escape) 

SpongeBob: Hi, stranger. I am SpongeBob. (sniffs in the odor coming from Squidward then flushes the tears away. Squidward
growls muffling causing SpongeBob and Patrick to scream) Wait a minute. Maybe he's not a monster. Maybe he's an endangered
species. We should help him. 

Patrick: Yeah, help him. Go away. Can't you tell nobody wants you? You're endangered. 

SpongeBob: Not like that. With lots of love and affection. We can take care of him. (muffled shouting coming from
Squidward. Cut to SpongeBob’s house) Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great.
We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. (muffled whimpering from Smelly) Here's
your food bowl. 

Patrick: And some kibble. (pours in some food) 

SpongeBob: You can live here forever and ever. (Smelly cries) Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly,
there's one more family member you haven't met. (retrieves Gary) Smelly meet Gary. (Gary sticks to Smelly) Aww, look at
that Smelly, Gary likes you. (Gary attacks Smelly) Gary, no! (gets Gary off of Smelly) Gary. 

Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly. 

SpongeBob: Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here. 

Patrick: Ah! He can come home with me. 

SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. (Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps
falling down) Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. (opens door) Bye, Smelly, have fun at
Patrick's. (Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house) 

Patrick: No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets. (cut to under Patrick's rock) Hey, Smelly, wanna play catch? (throws
ball at Smelly) Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. (throws ball at Smelly again) Almost. (throws ball at Smelly again) Again. (throws ball at Smelly again) So close. (throws ball at Smelly again but it gets stuck in his eye) Yeah, now
you're... (Smelly throws the ball at Patrick, knocking him down) Smelly! What's gotten into you?! (screams and jumps behind a chair and calls
someone) Hello, Animal Control? There's a wild animal loose in my house. (person over phone is speaking gibberish) Sure,
I'll hold. (Smelly escapes Patrick's rock) Smelly! Come back. Smelly! 

Police: Freeze! (more police cars arrive) 

SpongeBob: (reading in his library) Hmmm, what's all the commotion? (looks outside the window) 

Police: You're surrounded. There is no way out. 

SpongeBob: Smelly. (tries walking through a crowd of policeman) Excuse me. Pardon me. If I can just scootch through there.
Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. You leave Smelly alone. He's just a poor, dumb wild animal. 

Police: Wild animals don't belong here, son. They belong in the zoo. Get 'em boys. (Smelly is taken away in a truck
marked 'ZOO' with a vicious, giant clam) 

SpongeBob: Smelly. (cut to the zoo where people are around the habitat of Smelly. Smelly is locked behind a cage
marked 'Species Unknown') 

Little Girl: Mommy, what is that thing? 

Mom: I don't know but it's hideous, isn't it? (everyone laughs. Smelly goes back inside his cage) 

SpongeBob: This isn't good. 

Patrick: You're absolutely right. (takes out a hotdog) It needs mustard. 
SpongeBob: No one should be treated like that. Not even someone as ugly as Smelly. Something needs to be done about this.
And I know exactly what that thing is. (whispers to Patrick. Cut to night where Patrick and SpongeBob are wearing black ski
masks) Ok, Patrick, remember the plan? 

Patrick: Oh, yeah. (takes out a hotdog) This one, right? 
SpongeBob: (grabs hotdog) No, not that. I'm talking about the plan to break Smelly out of this animal prison. 

Patrick: (takes a bite out of the hotdog) Mmm, good plan. 

SpongeBob: (ties rope to rail) All right, I'll go down first. Keep a lookout and follow me. (climbs down the rope) 

Patrick: You're my hero. (gets tangled in the rope) SpongeBob! Help! Ah! (screams and makes lots of noise) 

SpongeBob: Shh, we'll get caught. 

Patrick: What! I can't hear you! I'm screaming too loud! (SpongeBob pulls the rope which causes Patrick to fall straight to
the ground which, in turn, wakes up Smelly) 

SpongeBob: (tip-toes over to Smelly's cage) Fear no longer, dear Smelly, we are here to rescue you. Understand? We are
taking you ''home.'' (draws a home with his fingers. Smelly moans) Look how excited he is. Flip the switch, Patrick. (he does
so. Cage door opens and they carry him out) Smelly, you're free! (lights are shining on them, they jump out a little with a seal barking sound) 

Police: You're surrounded. There's no use trying to run.

SpongeBob: Run, Patrick, run! (as they do, the police climb down into the habitat and chase them) Faster, Patrick. (notices
a manhole cover and opens it) 

Patrick: I'll let Smelly go first. (throws Smelly down the sewer. Smelly bounces around before hitting the ground) 

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Smelly, you're safe with us. (Patrick closes the manhole cover as police run by it) 

Patrick: I think we lost them. 

SpongeBob: Well, we're all one big happy family again. Let's see where this dark sewer tunnel leads. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la. (Smelly moans and whimpers) 

SpongeBob: Oh, it's all right, Smelly. Soon, we'll be home and you can sleep in that cozy little pet carrier you love so
much. (muffled screaming and wailing from Smelly) 

Patrick: Hey, I see light. 

SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick. That must be the way out. Whoa... where are we? (a group of creatures are gathered around
in the distance) Let's go ask those guys. Um, excuse us. (creatures turn around to reveal they look like Smelly) Hey, they
look just like you. Go, be with your real family. Go ahead, Smelly. I know you've come to think of us as a family, but it's
better this way. (push Smelly on the ground as the group of creatures take him away)

Patrick: (sniffs) I'm going to miss him, SpongeBob. Me, too, buddy. Me, too, but he's with his kind now, where he belongs, and on that note, let us go back to where we belong. (group of gray creatures put Smelly down to where the Squid on TV from earlier is playing jazz) 

Kelpy G: Ah... salutation, my children. Are you ready for your daily dose of smooth jazz? (excited murmuring from the creature. Jazzy Squid plays. As he is playing Smelly's exterior breaks and reveals Squidward underneath) 
Squidward: (chuckles nervously) Um... hi.

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Best Day Ever

2009-03-01T14:39:14Z

70.176.179.82:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Der allerschönste Tag]]
{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Squid Wood|Squid Wood]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Gift of Gum|The Gift of Gum]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Best Day Ever]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*Mr. Sun
*[[Jellyfish]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*Nematodes
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*Doorman
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*Audience

==Dialogue==

'''Music:''' "[[The Best Day Ever (Song)|The Best Day Ever]]"
Mr. Sun came up, and he smiled at me
Said, "It's gonna be a good one just wait and see."
Jumped out of bed
And I ran outside
Feeling so extra ecstatified
It’s the best day ever! (Best day ever)

Hey, Gary.
Gary: Meow.
Why is this the best day ever you ask?
Because, Gary, I get to start this wonderful day bringing life to a
whole new generation of delicious Krabby Patties,
followed by a vigorous mid-day session of karate with Sandy,
and an afternoon jellyfishing with Patrick,
where I'll unveil my newest, most prized possesion:
the Deluxe Jelly Slayer Composite Pro!
And for the grand finale,
every one of my closest friends joining together for Squidward's
clarinet recital.
I am so excited I think I'm gonna explode!
(explodes into pieces then walks out of his house)
It’s the best day ever (Best day ever)
It’s the best day ever (Best day ever)
It’s the best day ever (Best day ever)
It's the best day ever (Best day.)

(laughs then tries opening the door to the Krusty Krab but can't because it's locked) 

Mr. Krabs: Get out of the way, boy! (SpongeBob flies off the door and bounces into Mr. Krabs) Me building's been condemned,
boy. We got ourselves a nematode infestation. (Nematodes come and eat the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs faints) 

SpongeBob: But... the best day ever starts at the Krusty Krab. Guys, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave
(nematodes eat his pants) Ow! Guys, you're ruining the (off-key) best day... (clears throat) Wait, no. (off-key) Best
day... (plays his nose as a flute. The nematodes line up. When SpongeBob stops, the nematodes walk up) Huh? (plays
the 'best day ever' tune. The nematodes chatter excitedly. They follow SpongeBob) 

Mr. Krabs: (sighs) Keep playing, lad! Take them devil sons of the sea away from me restaurant! (later, SpongeBob stops
playing and falls over due to being tired. The nematodes fall asleep, also. SpongeBob’s watch beeps) 

SpongeBob: Whoa! I gotta get to Sandy's! (scene cuts to Sandy's treedome. SpongeBob opens up her door then jumps behind a
bush) Wait till Sandy gets a load of these adhesive karate gloves. Hyah! (karate chops the box the gloves were in. Then he
chuckles and jumps onto the top of the treedome and sticks due to his gloves. He moves above her tree and falls through it
and lands on a tree branch then jumps at her) Hyah! (Sandy ducks and SpongeBob hits her buckets of water) 

Sandy: (standing on a ladder, using a bucket to catach water in) SpongeBob, what on earth are you doing?! 

SpongeBob: Oh, just a little something I like to call karate. 

Sandy: I can't right now, SpongeBob. I got a leak in my roof the size of a full-grown quarter horse! 

SpongeBob: Mm-hmm. I see. Ok, then I'll come back later. (walks off but then reappears by Sandy and tries to karate chop
her) 

Sandy: Knock...it...off. (punches SpongeBob up high. The leak stops) It stopped? SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Yeah? 

Sandy: Hang on. I'm going to get some sealant and patch and trowel! (runs into her treedome) 

SpongeBob: (groans) Oh. (slips out of his glove and falls. Scene cuts to SpongeBob walking to Jellyfish Fields) Oh. No
krabby patties, no karate. At least I have jellyfishing with... Hey, there he is now! (sees Patrick chasing a jellyfish)
Wait for me, Patrick. I've got a brand-new... (Patrick is crying) What's wrong, Patrick? 

Patrick: I broke my net! (cries) 

SpongeBob: Well, lucky for you, I brought my old net. (Patrick grabs it) 

Patrick: For me? (giggles) 

SpongeBob: Yeah, I won't be needing it now that I got my brand-new... (Patrick's jellyfish net breaks. He cries) 

Patrick: SpongeBob, I broke...could I use this one? (points to SpongeBob’s new net) 

SpongeBob: Well, actually, Patrick, that's my brand-new net. 

Patrick: Yeah? (cut to later where SpongeBob is waiting for his net while Patrick uses it) 

SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's my turn, now. (Patrick ignores him) Hey, Patrick? Pat, old buddy. P-Patrick? It's my turn
now. (sighs) I guess I'll see you at the concert. (cut to SpongeBob walking at night to the concert) (sadly) It's the best
day ever. It's the best day ever. Oh, this best day ever isn't going so good. No work, no karate, no jellyfishing. Hey, I
still have Squidward's concert! I won't let this one slip through my fingers. (cut to Squidward crying outside the Bikini
Bottom Recreation Center, in his uniform) Hey, Squidward. Squidward, what's wrong? 

Squidward: The concert is ruined. My reed is shot. (shows it) See? I'm finished. 

SpongeBob: (slaps Squidward) Pull yourself together, man! I came for a concert, and darn it, I am gonna get one! 

Squidward: (crying) But my reed! (SpongeBob pulls one of his front teeth out and uses it as a reed) 

SpongeBob: Now play! 

Squidward: But... (SpongeBob slaps him) 

SpongeBob: I said play!! (Squidward plays) 

Squidward: Not bad. (SpongeBob slaps him again) 

SpongeBob: Now get in there and give me a concert to remember. (outside usher grabs him) 

Usher: Where do you think you're going, kid? 

SpongeBob: I'm going to see Squidward play his clarinet. Today's my best day ever. 

Usher: Where's you're ticket? 

SpongeBob: One ticket, coming right up, Captain! (searches his pocket) Must be here somewhere. (takes off his pants and
dumps out what is in it) I don't have a ticket. 

Usher: No ticket, no entry. 

SpongeBob: But... 

Usher: No ticket, no entry! (cut to a SpongeBob puppet on strings coming down) 

SpongeBob Puppet: Oh, dear. I don't have a ticket. But I want to go to this show. Hmmm...what should I do? Oh, I know. I'll
just sneak in through the back door. (leaves) 

Usher: Oh, no you don't! (runs after him as SpongeBob climbs down the wall, laughing) 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob, you are so... (walks backwards into an usher puppet) 

Usher Puppet: Ticket, please. (later, SpongeBob, wearing a ski mask, is climbing up the side of the building and through
the vent on the roof. He uses a flamethrower to cut his way through a door, which is actually the entry doors. The usher
kicks him away from the building. Cut to later, where Mrs. Puff drives up in her boat and gets out, walking up to the usher)
 

Usher: Ticket, ma'am. 

Mrs. Puff: Certainly. (reaches into her purse. She hears some giggling and takes out what it is) SpongeBob? 

Usher: You? This time I'm gonna... Wait a minute! Did you say SpongeBob? SpongeBob SquarePants? You're on the VIP list.
(the usher carries SpongeBob on a pillow to his seat) 

SpongeBob: (gasps) A reserved seat? Next to my friends? I made it! All I have to do is sit down... (everyone applauds as
the curtains close) No...! No! It is not over! 

Fish: Huh? 

SpongeBob: This was supposed to be my perfect day. But then everything... (a fish gets up and starts to leave) Sit down!
(the fish does) Then everything turned to doo-doo. (Mr. Krabs, Patrick and Sandy go upstage with him) 

Mr. Krabs: It's okay, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: No, it's not okay! This was going to be my best day ever, starting with doing the best job in the world: working
at the Krusty Krab. 

Mr. Krabs: Boy, you saved me barnacle the way you put the run on them nematodes. 

SpongeBob: (sniffles) Yeah, I guess so. But then I was going to do karate with Sandy. 

Sandy: I know, but you saved the treedome! Pretty cool, if you ask me. 

SpongeBob: Well, I suppose. But then I was going to go jellyfishing with Patrick. 

Patrick: But then you... Uh, what'd you do again? 

Squidward: And, I hate to admit it, but I suppose if you hadn't fixed my reed, the concert would have been a bust. 

Mr. Krabs: You see, SpongeBob, it's not about you or your perfect day or any of those things. 

SpongeBob: It's not? 

Mr. Krabs: No. (giggles) It's about us. 

SpongeBob: It is? 

Mr. Krabs: Yep. And since you did such a good job, we wanna make it up to you. 

SpongeBob: You do? 

Mr. Krabs: So, just tell us anything your little heart desires, and it's yours. (SpongeBob smiles and scene cuts to Mr.
Krabs coming on stage with the light shining on him) Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, the Bikini Bottom Players proudly
present a very expensive production of... "The Best Day Ever." And it better be good for all it's costing me. 

'''Music:''' "The Best Day Ever (Concert Version)"

My perfect job starts my perfect day
Then it’s time to kick back, relax and play
Sing along
Hear that happy sound
Don’t let those sour notes bring you down
That's where it's at!
I'm not paying for that!

It’s the best day ever (Best day ever)
It’s the best day ever (Best day ever)
It’s the best day ever (Best day ever)
It’s the best day ever (Best day ever)

How long do we have to keep this up?

Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. 
Just till his little heart gives out.

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Picture Day

2009-03-01T14:37:39Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Atlantis SquarePantis|Atlantis SquarePantis]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Pat No Pay|Pat No Pay]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Picture Day]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]

==Dialogue==

(Gary is snoring until the alarmhorn blows. SpongeBob’s blanket flies off but reveals a box for SpongeBob's body, a fork for the nose, and 2 potatoes for the feet) 

SpongeBob: (laughs) Nice try, "alarmy", but you got to get up pretty early to wake me up on "picture day"!. 

Gary: Meow. (crawls under SpongeBob's blanket) 

SpongeBob: Now, if you'll excuse me, Gary, I must go make myself picturesque. (cut to SpongeBob putting a vacuum on
his face then using a rolling pin to make his face shine. Then he gets some red and blue paint to paint the stripes on
his socks. Next, he rolls on some paint for his pants and uses a white crayon for his teeth. He puts on a wig and then he turns it into The Beatles’ hair style do, then a Jamaican hair due, then shaves it off.) Perfect! I'm ready. Whoo-hoo! 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: (humming until a piece of seaweed leaves a green residue on his clothes) Fine, not to worry, no
problem.(and did it again)
Vacuum, Rolling Pin, Crayon, Red and Blue Paint.

SpongeBob:Still looking good Spongy, and Boating School is just around the corner. (crowd is screaming and running away)

Harold: Take cover! The teenagers, they've been let out of school and they're pelting us with balloons filled with...
(gets hit with a balloon that leaves a red pile of goo on his back. SpongeBob tastes it) 

SpongeBob: Ketchup? 

Fish: Save yourself, kid. I'm already finished. (SpongeBob runs away while dodging all the balloons. Hides behind a dumpster
but there is a kid waiting for him witha ketchup bottle) 

Teenager: Gotcha! 

SpongeBob: Wait, wait, don't squirt! Please, you've got to spare me. I've got picture day today. 

Teenager: Oh, pictures, huh? Well, let me help you with your makeup. (squirts ketchup at SpongeBob but SpongeBob blocks ketchup with his tongue and jumps away.) More teenagers run towards SpongeBob but he notices a hot dog stand and hides on the top
where the giant hot dog is posing as mustard) 

SpongeBob: Well, I'm not sure how I did it, but I... (gets squirt with ketchup by an old man who missed his hot dog) 

Old Man: Fiddlesticks. Missed again. (cut to SpongeBob changing again) 

SpongeBob: And now, as an extra precaution to keep me looking shiny and new...(takes out small bottle labled "Sponge Gloss") No grime can
penetrate the glossy sheen(puts on some Sponge Gloss) of Sponge Gloss.(sparkles) (dodges everyone by hiding in all places. Then he spots the Boating School)
There it is. So close, and still so shiny. (the sun comes out and its beams reflect off the gloss and into a truck
driver's eyes that causes him to crash and spill water on SpongeBob, making the gloss come off) Hey, it's just a splash of water.
(a truck filled with stamps crashes and spills stamps all over SpongeBob) Stamps? all over me! (he tries taking them off but a truck
spills oatmeal all over SpongeBob) Oatmeal? (a truck filled with glue spills all over SpongeBob) Glue. (cut to
SpongeBob taking a shower and brushing all the stuff off of him) 

Patrick: Hey, buddy. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, a little privacy here. 

Patrick: Oh, sorry, SpongeBob. I just came over to borrow some jelly. 

SpongeBob: Well, go ahead, but I don't have time to play right now. I am late for picture day, and I just can't seem to
get to school without being covered by unsightly debris. If only I had a sealed barrier to protect me from the filth of
the outside world. 

Patrick: I have a solution. (licks up all the jelly) 

SpongeBob: Ew!. 

Patrick: Ah. I have solved my hunger problem. 

SpongeBob: That's it! (jumps in the jar) This jelly jar will insulate me from the dirty dregs of Bikini Bottom. If you
don't mind, Patrick, we don't have much time. (Patrick runs to the Boating School with SpongeBob still in the jar) 

Patrick: We're here. Hey, what did I bring jelly for? 

SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick... 

Patrick: Oh, yeah. I was gonna put it on this peanut butter taco. 

SpongeBob: No, no, no, no, no, Patrick! I'm not jelly, I'm not jelly! (is poured into the taco) 

Patrick: SpongeBob, get out of my taco. (SpongeBob cries) What's the matter, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: (crying): Patrick, I just wanted to take a decent picture today because someday, I will graduate from Boating School
and I don't want to be remembered as the guy covered in peanut butter and taco shells! 

Mrs. Puff: There you are. (takes SpongeBob inside. Meanwhile, the photographer is taking another lady's picture) 

Photographer: Say cheese. (takes the picture) 

Mrs. Puff: And here's the last one. Now, just give a nice smile to the camera, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Wait, can I go home and change first? 

Photographer: No time. Say cheese. 

SpongeBob: (crying): Cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese! 

Photographer: Quit that moody brooding. This will clean you up. (squirts all the stuff off of SpongeBob with water)
Don't snivel like that. A winner doesn't snivel. Try putting this on. (SpongeBob puts on a green outfit) This is it.
Now you are looking like a winner. (SpongeBob cries when he looks at his outfit) 

Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, please stop crying so he can take the picture. 

Photographer: Do not worry, Mrs. Puff. I brought Pearlie. 

SpongeBob: I can't stop crying!! 

Photographer: (opens up his briefcase that has a giant pair of dentures in it) This will make you smile, yeah, whether
you want to or not. (puts the giant teeth in SpongeBob's mouth) Now say cheese. 

SpongeBob: (muffled): Cheese. (cut to later) There I am. (looking at his cautious memories book) Hey, I don't look so bad
after all! (everyone in the book is smiling like SpongeBob)

{{Transcripts/Season 5}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

Episode Transcript: Driven to Tears

2009-03-01T14:35:27Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Hocus Pocus|Hocus Pocus]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Rule of Dumb|Rule of Dumb]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Driven to Tears]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Father SquarePants]]
*[[Mother SquarePants]]

==Dialogue==

Narrator: A very special day in Bikini Bottom 

SpongeBob: I'm ready! (walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick) I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring
my flashcards? 

Patrick: Right here, buddy. (takes them out of his pocket) Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. (eats
the cards) Mmm. 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick! 

Patrick: Hey, learning tastes good. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, I needed those. 

Patrick: Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone. 

SpongeBob: 57 times. 

Patrick: Well, then 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner. 

SpongeBob: I'm a winner? 

Patrick: Who's a winner? 

SpongeBob: (sadly) I'm a winner. 

Patrick: Who's a winner? 

SpongeBob: (cheered up a little) I'm a winner. 

Patrick: Who's a winner?! 

SpongeBob: I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! (runs into the classroom) 

Narrator: One minute thirty seven seconds later... (SpongeBob walks up crying) 

Patrick: How'd you do, winner? (crying continues) Let's see that license. 

SpongeBob: I didn't get a license, Patrick. 

Patrick: Are they gonna mail it to you? 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all. 

Patrick: No way! 58 is like the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged. 

SpongeBob: Let's just go home, Patrick. 

Patrick: We're not going anywhere until I get to the bottom of this. I'm taking that test, myself. 

SpongeBob: (hanging onto Patrick's pants) No, Patrick! I've been training for years. They'll eat you alive. (Patrick's
pants rip off) 

Patrick: Please, SpongeBob. I think I know what I'm doing. 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick. No! 

Mrs. Puff: (Patrick walks up to the boat she is sitting in and gets in it, in his underwear) Good morning. 

Patrick: You're not the judge of me. 

Mrs. Puff: Actually, I am. Let the testing begin! (clicks pen. Scene cuts to SpongeBob, outside the boating school) 

SpongeBob: I shouldn't have let him do it. What kind of friend am I? 

Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: I'm here for you, buddy. 

Patrick: I passed my test! 

SpongeBob: You got a perfect score? 

Patrick: Yeah, I thought you said it was hard. 

SpongeBob: Perfect score. (eye twitches) 

Patrick: Come on, I'm gonna get my picture taken for my new license. (scene cuts to the license registration building) 

Lady: Stand behind the line, sir. 

Patrick: (smiling) How do I look? 

SpongeBob: (sarcastically) Like a winner. 

Lady: Ready? 

Patrick: Ready. (banner comes down which says "CONGRATULATIONS" on it. Balloons and confetti fall) 

SpongeBob: Huh? 

Fish: Congratulations, Mr. Star. You're the one millionth person to pass the test. 

Patrick: Does that mean I get a free key chain? 

Fish: Uhh, no. 

Patrick: Oh. 

Fish: You get a brand-new boat mobile. The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine. 

Patrick: Yeah! All right! 

Fish: Women will want you. (all sigh) Men will want to be you. (all sigh) You'll be the envy of your friends. (SpongeBob
groans) 

Patrick: Isn't this great? I got my license and a new boat. 

SpongeBob:("La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face) Whoa! 

Patrick: The horn works. (scene cuts to Patrick driving his new boat down the road) Whoo! This is the greatest day ever.
Right, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Right, Patrick. I can't think of one thing that would make this day better. Except maybe getting my license. 

Patrick: Maybe if you apply yourself you could be the two millionth person to get his license. 

SpongeBob: Two millionth? 

Patrick: Then you can get a free boat just like me. 

SpongeBob: Yeah, just like you. 

Patrick: I try to serve as an inspiration to others. 

SpongeBob: Can we go home now? (zoom out and scene shows Patrick driving around his rock over and over) We've been driving
around your house for hours. 

Patrick: I know. It's a lot faster than walking, isn't it? 

SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride, Patrick. 

Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can't help being a...pedestrian. (shudders then drives off. SpongeBob imitates Patrick.
Scene cuts to SpongeBob in bed asleep. His clock turns to 3:00am when an engine revving is heard which sends SpongeBob into
his diving board then back into his bed)

SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing? 

Patrick: I'm trying to work on my boat mobile. Now could you keep it down? It's 3 in the morning, people are trying to
sleep. (SpongeBob groans and shuts his window then goes back to bed. Scene cuts to 4:00am) 

SpongeBob: 4 o'clock? (yawns. Doorbell rings) Who could be at the door at this hou-- (falls down the stairs. Opens the
door) Now what is it, Patrick? 

Patrick: You will never guess what happen to me today. 

SpongeBob: You got your license. 

Patrick: Yeah! (shows his license) But that's not all. 

SpongeBob: You got a new boat. 

Patrick: Yeah. Have you been following me? You know, you need to get your own life. (walks off) 

SpongeBob: (gets back into bed) Oh...I just need a few minutes sleep. (foghorn alarm blows) 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: Yes, Gary, I saw his new boat. (scene cuts to morning where SpongeBob is leaving home to go to work) I'm so
tired. (horn honks) 

Patrick: Hey, buddy. Need a ride to work? 

SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick, but I'd rather walk to work. (tries to take a step but falls down in the process. Scene cuts to
Patrick driving SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab) 

Patrick: Boy, I never realized how empty life is without a license. 

SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride. 

Patrick: No problem, buddy. You can give me rides once you get your license. I mean, if you get your license. 

SpongeBob: That's it. I am through driving around with Patrick. If I have to see one more boat mobile... 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're manning the drive-thru. 

SpongeBob: When did we get a drive-thru? 

Mr. Krabs: I realized there's a lot of young people on the go these days. They don't have time to sit down and eat. They're
too busy out on the open road living their dreams. 

SpongeBob: I used to have a dream. 

Mr. Krabs: Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually. Now stop dreaming and work for a living. 

SpongeBob: (through headphones) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I -- ("La Cucaracha" horn honks) 

Patrick: The horn still works. (scene cuts to SpongeBob switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED then walking out of work. Patrick
drives up in a racing uniform) Hey, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: What's with the helmet, Patrick? 

Patrick: Well, since I'm now an expert driver, I have to keep up my image. (clicks tongue) 

SpongeBob: Uh-huh. (scene cuts to Patrick driving) 

Patrick: Boy, driving is so easy. 

SpongeBob: Oh? 

Patrick: Do you want me to give you lessons? 

SpongeBob: (sarcastic) Oh, that would be great. 

Patrick: Oh! (drives over to SpongeBob’s parents) 

SpongeBob: Patrick! 

Patrick: Hi, mommy. Hi, daddy. 

Mr. SquarePants: Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you we're SpongeBob’s mom and dad, not yours? 

Patrick: What? I'm an orphan? Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test. 

Mrs. SquarePants: That's great, Patrick. 

Patrick: SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it. 

Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, we know how to stay clear of that minefield. 

SpongeBob: Mom! 

Patrick: Well, I've got to take Mr. Walks-a-lot back home. He's always asking for rides. 

SpongeBob: Hey. (Patrick drives off) 

Mr. SquarePants: Even Patrick has a license. (both parents sigh) 

Patrick: Let's see what this baby can do. (steps on the gas. Ride pass a sign that reads 'SPEED LIMIT 40 MPH') 

SpongeBob: Patrick, the speed limit is 40mph. 

Patrick: Yeah, yeah. 

SpongeBob: (reads the speedometer) 40.5mph? That's almost 41mph. He's speeding. Patrick! Stop this car. (car stops next to
a policeman) 

Patrick: What? Where? Who? 

SpongeBob: Officer, it is my civilian duty to report that the the driver of this vehicle is speeding. Why don't you clock
him with your radar gun? 

Officer: Umm...ok. (uses radar gun. It reads 0mph) Actually, he's going 40mph under the limit. So, move along before I run you in, tattletale. (drives off) 

SpongeBob: Are you sure you don't want to run him in? (scene cuts to Patrick driving. Green light turns red) It's a red
light, Patrick! (Patrick runs through red lights) Patrick, you just ran 3 red lights! 

Patrick: So? 

SpongeBob: You're suppose to stop! 

Patrick: I think the driving genius knows what he's doing! 

SpongeBob: Driving ''genius?!'' Why would a genius make an illegal u-turn... through an orphanage?! 

Patrick: They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about? 

SpongeBob: ''I'' should've gotten that license, and this should be ''my'' boat mobile! 

Patrick: How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license! 
SpongeBob: If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face! 

Patrick: I'm not rubbing my license in your face! ''This'' is rubbing my license in your face! (takes out license and rubs it
in SpongeBob’s face, which makes muffled noises) 

SpongeBob: Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this! (tears up Patrick's license then
laughs. The pieces of the license fly into the officers hands)

Officer: Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. (drives off after SpongeBob & Patrick) 

SpongeBob & Patrick: It's the police! 

Officer: (over speaker) Pull it over, litterbug! 

Patrick: Litterbug?! No! (drives faster) 

Officer: Ooh, I got me a runner. (a bunch of police cars are following him) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, what do you think you're doing? 

Patrick: I don't know! I don't have a license anymore. (drives around cards, through a sign then off a cliff into the front
lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail. Scene cuts to courtroom) 

Judge: 90 days. I hope you learned a valuable lesson about littering. 

Patrick: So long, buddy. Don't forget to feed Gary. Sometimes you forget to feed him. 

SpongeBob: What have I done? Patrick can't survive in prison. He's too soft. Wait! (runs up to the judge) Patrick's
innocent. I tore up Patrick's license and threw it out the window. I'm the litterbug. Take me instead. 

Judge: Well, considering there's no legal precedent...oh, what the heck. 90 days! (SpongeBob is put in jail) 

Narrator: One debt to society later... (door buzzes. SpongeBob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him) 

SpongeBob: Patrick! 

Patrick: SpongeBob! (both hug) 

SpongeBob: I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. (shows
him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER") Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy. 

Patrick: Oh, I don't have a boat mobile anymore. 

SpongeBob: What? 

Patrick: It stopped working so I threw it away. The needle was on E and I figured that must mean end. 

SpongeBob: Oh, then what do we do with this? (Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind) 

Patrick: How's that? 

SpongeBob: Yeah! 

Patrick: Ready, buddy? 

SpongeBob: Ready, pal. (hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises) Whoo! Whoo!

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm

2009-03-01T14:32:17Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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|}

Episode Article: [[Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (Episode)|Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]

==Dialogue==

French Narrator: Ahh, another peaceful evening in Bikini Bottom. Listen to the tropical tranquility. (we see the town of Bikini Bottom; something underground is tunneling and consumes the Bikini Bottom sign) Uh-oh. (the tunneling thing moves on to the rest of Bikini Bottom; a cop is writing a ticket for a car parked near a fire hydrant; the thing, still invisible, makes eating noises; we then see that the car has disappeared, so the cop picks up the fire hydrant, moves it to the adjacent car, and places the ticket on that car, whistling as he walks away; the thing moves on to SpongeBob's house; Gary wakes up, sees the thing, and meows in terror; SpongeBob is still fast asleep) 

SpongeBob: (mumbling, half-asleep) Trick-or-treat. Thank you. (the thing takes SpongeBob's blanket) You keep the change.
(the thing takes SpongeBob's pillow) What? (he wakes up fully and stares fixedly at the thing in terror; camera zooms out
to show half of the pineapple house's walls missing; new scene shows SpongeBob talking to a crowd at the Krusty Krab) I
saw it! It was big! It was all wiggly! And it ate everything!

Patrick: That's horrible! (gobbles down a whole tray of food, containers and all) 

SpongeBob: It was an Alaskan... Bull... Worm! (each of the three words appears on screen; crowd murmurs worriedly) 

Fish 1: He ate my wheelbarrow! (he has his wheelbarrow with a bite taken out of it) 

Fish 2: He ate my children's homework! (her two kids wink simultaneously and give a big thumbs-up) 

Fish 3: (has a huge bite taken out of his butt) Do I need to say it? 

Fish 4: (crowd murmurs some more) How can we protect ourselves? 

Mr. Krabs: I've got it! Let's all buy a Krabby Patty! (crowd boos and throws ketchup and mustard bottles at him) 

Fish 5: We should lock our doors! 

Fish 6: We should call my nephew! 

Knight Fish: We should dig a moat! 

Patrick: We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else! (crowd immediately quiets down) 

Squidward: That idea may just be crazy enough... to get us all killed!! (crowd resumes fretting) 

Fish 1: Let's get someone to go after it! 

Mr. Krabs: There ain't no one fool enough to take on an Alaskan Bull Worm! (a horrible screeching noise is heard; the
crowd cringes; we see a scary-looking old guy in a raincoat with a hook for a hand, scraping it on the window of the
Krusty Krab; he stops) 

Raincoat Fish: You got a bathroom in this place? 

Mr. Krabs: (looks slightly peeved) In the back. 

Raincoat Fish: (legs wobble) Thanks. (he runs for it) 

Sandy: (under a wide-brimmed cowboy hat) I'll catch your worm for ya, that is, if'n you're willing to pay! (tips brim up)
 

Mr. Krabs: No!!!!!!! You'll never get a cent out of me! (runs to block the cash register with his body) Never! I'd rather
that worm come in here right now and eat you all alive!!! (begins foaming at the mouth; the crowd looks at him strangely;
he calms down) Sorry. 

Sandy: (laughs good-naturedly) Aw shucks. I don't want your money. I was just playing up the drama of the moment, is all.
(Mr. Krabs chuckles, which gradually turns into crying; Sandy continues) Nope. I'm gonna take that spineless critter down
for nothing, 'cause this is personal. Look. My tail's gone! (she shows them; crowd gasps) Varmint must've got it while I
had my back turned, the coward! (crowd sympathizes) I am gonna get back what's mine! (crowd cheers) 

SpongeBob: (looks alarmed) What? But Sandy, you don't know what you're up against. We're talking about an Alaskan...
Bull... Worm! (the three words appear on screen again) 

Sandy: Well, I don't know nothing about Alaska, but looky here. (she pulls out a wallet with pictures) Back in Texas I
wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms. (we see pictures of a real-life squirrel with a lasso around a bull, then a lasso
around a worm) Far as I'm concerned, doing 'em both together just saves rope. Now I'm gonna go kick me some worm tail!
Yee-haw! (she runs to the doors of the Krusty Krab; the crowd goes wild)

SpongeBob: But Sandy, you don't know! 

Sandy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. I won't be long. (leaves) 

SpongeBob: (chases after her) Sandy! Sandy! 

Mr. Krabs: (amidst the still-cheering crowd) Go get 'em, Sandy! We have the utmost confidence in you! (crowd stops; Mr.
Krabs turns to Patrick) Now, what was that idea of yours? 

Patrick: PUSH! (new scene shows all the citizens trying to push the buildings of Bikini Bottom; cuts back to SpongeBob
chasing after Sandy) 

SpongeBob: Wait! Sandy! 

Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob, you coming to watch? 

SpongeBob: Sandy, don't go! 

Sandy: Why not? 

SpongeBob: Sandy, I saw it! It's big... scary... and pink! (each word appears on the screen) 

Sandy: So's Patrick's belly button, but I ain't afraid of that neither! 

SpongeBob: You'll get massacred! (collapses into sponge-cubes) 

Sandy: SpongeBob, I'm from Texas. What you think is big and what I think is big are two totally different "big"s.
Besides, he's got my tail. I can't take that sitting down. 

SpongeBob: Okay, but what if the worm didn't take your tail? 

Sandy: If that worm ain't got my tail, who does? 

SpongeBob: (unconvincingly) Um, I do? 

Sandy: You do? Where? 

SpongeBob: Um... in my pocket. 

Sandy: Well, why didn't you just say so? Give it here! Come on! (SpongeBob looks nervous, pulls something from his
pocket, and opens his hand) SpongeBob, that's a paper clip and a piece of string. 

SpongeBob: (shakes head) No, it's not. This is your tail. 

Sandy: (annoyed) SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: (defensively; tearing up) How would you know?! It's always behind you! Oh, don't go, don't go, don't go! (he
jumps onto the front of Sandy's air helmet and hugs it) 

Sandy: (pulls him off) SpongeBob, what is the matter with you? Now, I'm gonna go give that legless rascal what-for, and
there ain't nothing you can say to stop me! (resumes walking) 

SpongeBob: Oh yeah? What if I said.... 'blargen fedibble no-hip'? 

Sandy: (stops) Well, I gotta admit, that slowed me down, but I'm still going for him! (continues) 

SpongeBob: (appears next to Sandy as she strides along) You know, tails are so overrated. Let's just forget about it and
go home. (Sandy keeps walking; SpongeBob reappears) I've got ice cream! With nuts... (Sandy continues; SpongeBob appears
once more, this time with a goofy squirrel mask on his face) Sandy, this is your pappy speaking, and I forbid you to go
after this worm! Y'all come back here, young lady! 

Sandy: You ain't my pa! 

SpongeBob: (stands in front of her with boxing gloves) Sandy, if you want to get to that worm, you're gonna have to go
through me! (Sandy pushes through his body as if walking through a pair of swinging doors; he grabs her ankles, crying)
Sandy, no! I can't let you! I'm not gonna let you get killed. If you find him, you'll get eaten for sure! 

Sandy: Ain't no way some dumb old sea worm's gonna make a meal of me. I'm too Texas tough! 

SpongeBob: (still crying and holding onto her ankles) No, not tough enough. Not tough enough! 

Sandy: SpongeBob, quit your worrying. I can take care of myself. After all, who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom?
(she grabs an anchor and pulls a boat down from the surface) 

SpongeBob: You are. 

Sandy: And who put the hi-yah, hi, ho, "K" in karate? (makes a K shape) 

SpongeBob: (makes a U shape) You did. 

Sandy: And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis? 

SpongeBob: (his butt has "Property of Sandy Cheeks" printed on it) You do. 

Sandy: Right. And I can handle your little bull worm too, 'cause I am the best there is! There ain't nothin' too big or
too ornery for me to catch. 

SpongeBob: Okay. 

Sandy: Say it. 

SpongeBob: There isn't anything... 

Sandy: Ain't nothin'! 

SpongeBob: (in a high-pitched voice like Sandy) Ain't nothin' (normal voice) too big or too ornery for you to catch.
But... (Sandy cuts him off) But... (cuts him off again) And... (cuts him off again) We... (cuts him off again) I... (cuts
him off again) Yeah but... 

Sandy: No! 

SpongeBob: You see... 

Sandy: No! 

SpongeBob: I... (Sandy cuts him off one last time with a frustrated groan) 

Sandy: (picks up some sand from the ground as if tracking an animal and sniffs it) Worm sign. (she holds a small sign in
her palm that has "WORM" painted on it; looks up) He's in that cave. 

SpongeBob: Sandy, are you sure you...? 

Sandy: Course I am! I'm going in, and I ain't coming out 'til I got me a big heaping plate of worm stew. (she walks into
the cave; SpongeBob hides behind a rock and shudders; we hear Sandy inside the cave) Aha! There you are, you tail-nabbin'
varmint! Hi-yah! (we hear karate noises; Sandy peeks out of the cave) I'm winnin', SpongeBob! (resumes fighting) 

SpongeBob: Sandy, that's not...! (more fighting noises; Sandy peeks out again) 

Sandy: This shouldn't take long. (resumes fighting) 

SpongeBob: Sandy, that's not...! 

Sandy: Almost done! 

SpongeBob: Sandy! 

Sandy: Yee-haw! (comes out riding a pink segmented thing) I got him, SpongeBob! (makes a giant knot and stands on it
proudly)

SpongeBob: (still uneasy) Sandy...? 

Sandy: Boy, howdy. This critter put up some sort of fight. But I'm from Texas, and as you can see, no worm is a match for
me. I even found my tail! (we see that she has tied the fur to the small remainder of her tail) 

SpongeBob: That's not the worm. 

Sandy: Pardon? 

SpongeBob: That's not the worm. That's his tongue. (camera zooms out to show that SpongeBob is right; the opening of the
cave is actually the worm's open mouth; his eyes make a squishy blinking noise) 

Sandy: Ohhhh. This is the tongue, and... (trailing off) the whole thing... is the... worm. (freaks out) RUN FOR YOUR
LIFE!!! (they sprint away; the worm growls angrily, chomps down, and chases after them) 

SpongeBob: So what's the plan, Sandy? (they look back and see that the worm is approaching faster) 

Sandy: Run faster!! 

SpongeBob: I could've thought of that. Hey, wait a minute! I was right, wasn't I?! 

Sandy: Later! 

SpongeBob: Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he? 

Sandy: Not now, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: I wanna hear you say it! 

Sandy: Can we talk about this another time? 

SpongeBob: Say it! 

Sandy: SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Say it, or I'll trip you! (he continues running on one foot, the other poised to trip Sandy) 

Sandy: No! 

SpongeBob: Say it! 

Sandy: Not now! 

SpongeBob: Say it! 

Sandy: Okay! You were right, and I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Are you happy now? 

SpongeBob: (devilishly) I knew it. (the worm emits another huge growl; prompting the two to run even faster; they run up
and down a sand mound, which the worm plows right through; they run past Fish 3, who is leaning over under his car's
hood; his butt is bandaged up; the worm passes by and takes another bite out of him) 

Fish 3: Not again! 
SpongeBob: Uh, Sandy? 

Sandy: Yeah? 

SpongeBob: What do we do now? 

Sandy: (is panting and sweating; the worm growls again; Sandy sees the seemingly endless coral trees in front of them)
I've got it! SpongeBob, you still got that paper clip and that string? 

SpongeBob: I'm way ahead of you, Sandy. (fashions a necklace out of them) Look, it's a necklace! S for "SpongeBob" or S
for "Sandy"! That way they can identify our bodies. 

Sandy: No, silly! How about S for "save our skins"? (she takes the string and uses the hook of the paper clip to wrap the
string around one of the coral trees; she grabs SpongeBob and swings them up and over the branch onto the worm's back)
Yee-haw! Now this is what I call a rodeo! We'll be nice and safe up here. (the worm starts to plow off a cliff like a
runaway train; Sandy and SpongeBob realize this, scream, and begin running toward the end of worm to the safety of the
plateau; they jump off safely as the worm falls off the cliff) We did it! 

SpongeBob: Yay! He'll never get out of there! 

Sandy: We saved the town! 

SpongeBob: Yay! Let's go tell everybody! (new scene shows all the citizens still trying to push Bikini Bottom to safety;
the city is now in the valley at the bottom of the cliff) 

Patrick: PUSH! PUSH! 

Citizens: Hooray!! (the worm, still falling, lands on the city and smashes it to bits) 

Worm: Ouuuuuch.

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Whale of a Birthday

2009-03-01T14:29:35Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Ghost Host|Ghost Host]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Karate Island|Karate Island]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Whale of a Birthday (Episode)|Whale of a Birthday]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Pearl]]
*[[Judy]]
*[[Billy Fishkins]]
*[[Boys Who Cry]]

==Dialogue==

(opens up with Pearl sleeping until the radio wakes her up) 
Radio: Good morning, Bikini Bottom! It's a very special day today because we have got the new single from Boys Who Cry: 'It's All About You'.

'''''Song:''''' Boys Who Cry "[[It's all about you]]"
It's All About You

It's all about you girl,
On your sixteenth birthday!
Pay attention to you girl,
Everyone has to do just what you say.
You get your very own spotlight tonight,
Cuz it's all about you!
Yeah, it's all about Pearl!
You're the birthday girl!

Pearl

Yeah! It's all about me
On my 16th birthday
I want music, clothes, and shiny things
So give it up right away
Everybody in the whole wide world
They have to pay attention to me
It's all about me, me...and guess who? Me!

Mr. Krabs: (Pearl crashes through the ceiling and into the kitchen on the ground floor) Neptune's trousers! 

Pearl: Morning, daddy! 

Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a room on the ground floor? 

Pearl: Oh, daddy. I'm just excited because tomorrow's a very special day. 

Mr. Krabs: (gulps) It is? (Pearl stares at him) Oh, I mean it is! Very special. Very very special, indeed. 

Pearl: You have no idea what day tomorrow is, do you?

Mr. Krabs: None at all. 

Pearl: It's my 16th birthday! 

Mr. Krabs: I knew that. How could you think I wouldn't know that? What are you gonna be, 12? 

Pearl: I'm going to be 16! It's only the most important birthday in my entire life. If I don't have a completely awesome
party, my whole high school reputation will collapse. I'll have to drop out, I won't go off to college, I'll never leave home. You'll have to support me for the rest of my life. 

Mr. Krabs: (nervously chuckles) Well, we don't want that to happen. 

Pearl: Then promise me you'll give me a real party this year. And don't be cheap! (nods) 

(later at the high school) 

Pearl: Hi, girls. 

Friend #1: Hi, Pearl. 

Pearl: Are you guys coming to my totally coral birthday party tomorrow? 

Friend #1: I don't know, Pearl. Is this going to be as totally coral as last year, when your dad passed out paper clips as
party favors? (3 girls laugh) 

Judy: Remember the time we all had to share one balloon? (balloon floats up) Please. 

Friend #2: Remember the pony ride? (wooden horse with a paint can as a head and a broom stick as a tail) 

Friend #1: I can't wait to see how he ruins this year. (3 girls laugh as Pearl runs out of school crying. Shes heads
towards the Krusty Krab) 

Pearl: Daddy! 

Mr. Krabs: Everybody brace for impact! 

Pearl: Tell me you've got something totally coral planned for my birthday party. 

Mr. Krabs: Now, now, don't snap your mizzenmast. Everything is all set. Why, I've already got the party favors--bubble wrap!
(pops the bubble wrap) This year's gonna be a blast. 

Pearl: Daddy, you ruined all my birthday parties. But you better not ruin this one. Now promise me you won't be cheap. 

Mr. Krabs: (gulps) I promise. 

Pearl: Good, because I made a list. (list rolls out of the Krusty Krab and down the road. Mr Krabs rolls it up) Now I want
everything on this list at my party. (kisses her dad) Bye. I'll be at the mall with my friends. 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?! 

SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: While I plan the party, I want you to buy Pearl's present. (takes out his credit card) Here you go, boy. 

SpongeBob: What's this, Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: It's me credit card. You use it instead of money. 

SpongeBob: I can buy stuff with just this piece of plastic? I don't need money? 

Mr. Krabs: Exactly. 

SpongeBob: Wow. 

Mr. Krabs: Now remember, nothing's too good for me little Pearl. I wanted to give her nothing, but she's too good for that.
Now follow her around and see what she likes. You know, do some detective work. 

SpongeBob: Detective work--I'm going undercover. 

(later at the [[Bikini Bottom Mall]]) 

Pearl: So, that's when Marcy told me that Julie said that Angela did like Brad. 

Friend #1: Oh. 

SpongeBob: (peeking through a plant as he writes something down on a notepad) Angela likes Brad. 

Pearl: (holding up a purple, plastic comb) Oh my gosh, this is the greatest thing I have seen in the whole world. 

SpongeBob: (runs up to the cashier) I'd like to buy that piece of plastic with this piece of plastic. (giggles) 

Cashier: (looking at the credit card) Mr Krabs, huh? Quick--how do you spell "Krabs"? 

SpongeBob: Umm...I'm pretty sure it has a 'B' in it. 

Cashier: Close enough. (swipes the credit card through the machine) There you go, kid. 

SpongeBob: That's it? Hmmm, I'll never understand the workings of high finance. 

Pearl: (holding up lip gloss) Wow, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen in the whole world. Glitter gloss! 

SpongeBob: Oh, no, I bought the wrong present. 

Judy: Pearl, you have got to see this. 

Pearl: Coming, Judy. 

Elderly Fish: Oh...hmmm... (mirror flips around revealing SpongeBob. He takes the glitter gloss away from the elderly fish
and the mirror flips back around) 

SpongeBob: Now this is obviously the greatest present ever. 

Pearl: (squeals) This is the greatest thing in the whole world! (SpongeBob sighs) 

(back at the Krusty Krab where Squidward is nailing down a banner) 

Squidward: The banner's up, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: I've had that since the day she was born. I got it on sale. 

Squidward: I'm sure she'll love it, Mr. Krabs. 

(back at the mall) 

Pearl: This sea pony is the cutest thing ever. Do you want to come home and be my pony? (pony imagines Pearl being on its
back) Whee! (pony shakes its head) 

Judy: Pearl, come here. This is so coral. (SpongeBob is disguised as a Dog Fish next to the pony) 

Pearl: Oh my gosh, it's Billy Fishkin. 

All: Hi, Billy! 

Billy: Meep. (all sighing. SpongeBob, dressed up as a girl, sighs after they do) 

SpongeBob: (girly voice) Isn't he dreamy? (SpongeBob takes Billy and hands him to the cashier) Price check on four. 

Billy: Meep. 

(back at the Krusty Krab) 

Squidward: I finished Pearl's portrait, Mr. Krabs. It's a true masterpiece. (reveals a meat sculpture of Pearl) 

Mr. Krabs: Hey...maybe I should have hired that ice sculptor. 

Squidward: Ice sculptor? Any fool can sculpt in ice. It takes true genius to transform 400 pounds of raw krabby patties
into a work of such majesty. 

Mr. Krabs: Yeah. Well, we've got the decor covered. Now how about entertainment? Pearl wants some boy band called 'Boys Who
Cry'. 

Squidward: Boys Who Cry? They're my favorite band. They charge a million dollars just to show up. And if you want them to lip-sync, it'll run
into real money. 

Mr. Krabs: you're a real fan, huh? 

Squidward: Oh yeah, I know all their songs. 

Mr. Krabs: All their songs? 

(back at the mall where Pearl and friends are gazing at a bunch of things and SpongeBob buys them all, including: a dress,
sunglasses, a pair of platform shoes, and other gifts) 

Pearl: Wouldn't it be cool if my dad got me this for my birthday?

Friend #1: It sure would be. If he was cool, which he's not. (laughs) 

Pearl: Yeah, he probably got me another box of staples.

(back at the Krusty Krab) 

Mr. Krabs: It's almost time for the party to start! 

SpongeBob: I'm back, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what took you so long? And where's Pearl's present? 

SpongeBob: the delivery truck will be here momentarily. 

Squidward: Here she comes, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Everybody get into position. (Pearl and friends enter)

All: Happy birthday! (everyone is standing in front of the banner that reads 'IT'S A <del>BOY</del> GIRL') 

Judy: "It's a boy"?! (3 friends laugh) 

Pearl: Daddy! (friends walk over to the popcorn machine and try a bite. All gag & cough up the popcorn) 

Friend #1: Stale popcorn. (friends walk over to the punchbowl and take a sip) It tastes like dishwater. 

Squidward: It is dishwater. (friends cough out the punch) 

Pearl: (notices the sculpture) Is that supposed to be me? (head falls off) It's made out of krabby patties! Gross. 

Mr. Krabs: Who wants cake? 

Pearl: Well, the cake does look good. (all take a bite but spit it right back out) It's made out of cardboard?! 

Mr. Krabs: And frosting. 

Friend #1: Well, Pearl, 16 lame parties in a row. Must be a new record. Let's get out of here. 

Pearl: Wait, don't leave. My dad got Boys Who Cry to play. You did get Boys Who Cry, right? 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, even better sweetie. Hit it. (curtain unfolds as R & B Music beings to play with Squidward standing on the
stage) 

Squidward: Hello, ladies.

':When my tearducts get issue,
I can't use just any tissue...
I need four-ply,
Four-Ply,
Four-Ply,
Four-Ply,
When I cry...
Huh!

Friend #2: Hey, that's not Boys Who Cry. 

Judy: Yeah! 

Friend #2: Boo! 

Friend #1: What a rip-off. 

Judy: This stinks! 

Pearl: Daddy, how could you? I gave you a list. (runs out crying...) 

Mr. Krabs: Pearl, come back. (crowd throws Pearls meat head at Squidward) 

Pearl: You ruined everything! You couldn't stop being cheap, even for me. (cries) 

Mr. Krabs: I'll make it up to you somehow, Pearl. 

SpongeBob: That's it. Back it up. Right there. Let 'er go! (dump truck full of presents unloads them all) 

Pearl: You bought me a boat? 

Mr. Krabs: I did? I mean...I did? 

Friends: Wow. 

Pearl: Oh, daddy, I don't know how it could get better than this. 

SpongeBob: Just watch. (signals on his walkie-talkie) Hit it boys! (big present at the top opens up)

'''''Endsong:''''' Boys Who Cry "It's All About You"

It's all about you girl,
On your sixteenth birthday!
Pay attention to you girl,
Everyone has to do just what you say.
You get your very own spotlight tonight,
Cuz it's all about you!
Yeah, it's all about Pearl!
You're the birthday girl!

Mr. Krabs: Boy, how much is all this costing me? 

SpongeBob: Here's the receipt. 

Mr. Krabs: (freaks out) I ought to... 

Pearl: Oh, daddy, you got me everything I wanted. (kisses her dad) 

Mr. Krabs: Ah, nothing's too good for me daughter. Heh. 

SpongeBob: You're a good dad, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Don't push your luck, boy.

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Best Frenemies

2009-03-01T14:22:56Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Born to Be Wild|Born to Be Wild]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Pink Purloiner|The Pink Purloiner]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Best Frenemies (Episode)|Best Frenemies]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Karen]]
*[[Pearl]]
*[[KelpShake]] Customers

==Dialogue==

(at the Krusty Krab) 

Mr. Krabs: (gasps) No, it's impossible. I must've counted me money a dozen times, and it still comes up short. Profits are
down. Oh, I feel sorry for me self. (walks out of office) 

Squidward: Would you like a drink with that order? 

Customer: Oh no, thanks. I got me one of those new kelpshakes before I came in here. 

Squidward: That comes out to two dollars even. 

Customer: Wow, what a steal. 

Mr. Krabs: What the...why didn't that guy order a deliciously over-priced fountain beverage with his krabby patty? 

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, we haven't sold a single soda in days. 

Mr. Krabs: What? Why not? (SpongeBob is slurping his 'kelpshake' loudly) All right, boy, it's done! You're gonna suck the
whole cup down your gullet if you're not careful. 

SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr Krabs, it's just that this kelpshake tastes so good. 

Mr. Krabs: Kelpshake? 

SpongeBob: Look around ya. Everyone's enjoying a delicious kelpshake. (everyone is slurping their kelpshake) Mm-mm. I'll be
right back, Mr Krabs. I'm gonna get a refill. 

Mr. Krabs: Refill? That's it. Listen up, everybody! New rule: no outside drinks. No exceptions! (everyone leaves with their
kelpshake) 
Squidward: That's telling them. 

Mr. Krabs: Grr. I better get to the bottom of this. (Squidward secretly sips his kelpshake. Mr. Krabs walks outside) Ah! A
new store! (store is shaped like a kelpshake) On my block! Taking my customers. (gasps) Pearl. (Pearl is drinking a
kelpshake) Me own flesh and blood. How could you do this to your papa? 

Pearl: What are you talking about, Dad? 

Mr. Krabs: I'm talking about this. (points to kelpshake) 
Pearl: Once you taste the secret goodness of a kelpshake... (slurping): You can't have just one. 

Mr. Krabs:(tries taking the kelpshake from Pearl but she pulls it back) 

Pearl: Buy your own. 

Mr. Krabs: Why I wouldn't give them a cent. 

Pearl: I feel sorry for you. 

Mr. Krabs: Then you do understand. (starts to cry...) 
Pearl: Dad, you're embarrassing me. (drags her dad a few more feet before prying him off) Oh, get away. (Mr. Krabs is still c
rying) 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, no! Confound you, new kelpshake store. What's your secret? (gasps) Of course. Plankton, I bet he's behind
this. A-ha! I knew you were behind this! 

Plankton: Pardon me, I've done nothing wrong. 

Mr. Krabs: Then how do you explain this? (gestures to kelpshake) 
Plankton: Holy Moly, how'd that happen? 

Mr. Krabs: Don't try that with me, Plankton. This new store is ruining me business. 

Plankton: Really?! Wait a minute! That's ''my'' job! (groans) Blast it! It's bad enough I have to compete with this joker. Now
there's ''this?!'' Kelpshakes. 

Mr. Krabs: Wow. I guess you're not behind this afterall. Plankton, they have... a secret formula. 

Plankton: No, not another secret. And if there's a secret, I want to know about it! (rumbling) 

Mr. Krabs: Oh! 

Plankton: (gasps as one Kelpshake multiplies itself to have two Kelpshake stores) They're multiplying. Why, they're on
every corner. 

Mr. Krabs: Block after block. 

Plankton: They're everywhere. 

Mr. Krabs: (Kelpshake store falls on both of them) We've got to do something about this. (cut to later where Mr. Krabs and
Plankton walk into a Kelpshake store) You sure this is going to work? 

Plankton: Just stick to the plan. 

Mr. Krabs: (whistles) Oh, let's see, let's see. Ah, there you are. (spots an 'employees only' sign. Whispers to Plankton)
Plankton, I think I found the kitchen. 
Plankton: Let's do this thing. 

Mr. Krabs: Here goes. Wa-choo! (sneezes on a mom and daughter) I'm sorry, I have a bit of a (gasping): ah-ah-ah-ah-ah...choo!!
(continues sneezing on everything. Sneezes Plankton onto the door window) 

Employee: Eww. (sprays a cleaner at Plankton) 

Plankton: (screams) My eye, my eye, my eye! (Mr. Krabs and Plankton run out and behind the Krusty Krab) 

Mr. Krabs: I think we lost them. Well, you got any more bright ideas? 

Plankton: Of course I do. (cut to nighttime where Mr. Krabs and Plankton are wearing black ski clothes) 

Mr. Krabs: All set, Plankton? 

Plankton: You better believe it. This high-powered mechanical bio-arm I invented should pry those restaurant doors open nice and easy. (presses a button that makes the hand move. The hand short-circuits) What the barnacles? Come on, you piece of garbage. (presses the button many times. The mechanical bio-arm slaps Plankton a bunch of times) Ouch! Uncle! Uncle! 

Mr. Krabs: If you want anything done right, you've got to do it yourself. (takes out a metal rod and tries to open the doors
when his back pops) Oh, me back. (moaning) 

Plankton: (whispering): Krabs, pipe down. You're gonna soil our plans if you wake up the watchdog. (guardworm is sleeping) 

Mr. Krabs: Never mind that. What about SpongeBob? 
SpongeBob: Hi, Mr Krabs. Hi...Plankton? Uh, Mr Krabs, I'm a little confused. Don't you and Plankton hate each other? 

Mr. Krabs: Of course we do. 

SpongeBob: Then why is he in your fist? 

Mr. Krabs: Uh...we've gone into business together. You see, SpongeBob, we were here, uh...to fix this door. 

Plankton: ''Now'' we have to fix the roof. 

Mr. Krabs: That's right. That's right. We have to fix the roof. It's, it's, it's leaking. (crickets chirping) 

SpongeBob: Well, good luck with that. See ya. (cut to later where Mr. Krabs is using jackhammer to get into the roof) 

Plankton: Keep her going, Krabs. At this rate, we'll have the Kelpshake's recipe faster than you can say... (speaker comes
up from under the roof) 

Speaker: You have three seconds before spontaneous combustion. 
Plankton: Let's beat it! 

Mr. Krabs: No kidding. (runs) 

Plankton: Wait, you forgot m... (gets zapped and disintegrates. Cut to the next day where a line of people are ordering
kelpshakes. Plankton is under one of the tiles on the floor. He laughs maniacally until the customers step on him, making
him scream. Cut to Mr. Krabs lowering Plankton by a rope through the vent. Plankton is about to take a sip of a kelpshake
when the custome takes a sip first, swallowing Plankton. Plankton opens the customers mouth and is raised up through the
vent. Cut to Mr. Krabs blowing Plankton through a hose and out of a sink pipe. When Plankton gets out, he is covered with
kelpshake juice and thrown down the disposal) I'm throwing in the towel, Krabs! All these convoluted plans are getting us
nowhere. And to top it all off, ''I'm'' the only one that's taking the heat! 

Mr. Krabs: What's that suppose to mean? 

Plankton: I don't see ''you'' on the front lines. ''Sure'', let me do all the work, while you just sit back like the fat gorilla

you are!! 

Mr. Krabs: (grabs Plankton) Who you are calling a gorilla, you one-cent, one-eyed bottom-feeder!? 
SpongeBob: Mr Krabs, if you want a kelpshake, why don't you just buy one? (slurps kelpshake) 

Mr. Krabs: Buy one? (cut to later where Mr Krabs and Plankton are in line at the Kelpshake store) 

Customer: I'll have one Kelpshake, please. 

Mr. Krabs: I don't know about this, Plankton. 

Plankton: It's easy. Just smile and hand the cashier the money. 
Cashier: Can I help you? 

Plankton: Good luck. 

Mr. Krabs: Hi there. Uh, could I get one Kelpshake? 

Cashier: Sure, that'll be one dollar. 

Mr. Krabs: Uh, ok. (gets out a dollar and slowly hands it to the cashier) 

Cashier: (cash register dings) Thank you. (Mr. Krabs is not letting go of the dollar) Sir, please let go of the bill. 

Plankton: Release your grip, man. Do it! (Mr. Krabs does so. The cashier puts the dollar in the register and hands the Kelpshake to Mr. Krabs) 

Cashier: Enjoy. 

Mr. Krabs: Thanks. (runs out laughing) I can't believe we did it. 

Plankton: Oh, believe it, Krabs. Now let's get to the lab and find out what this stuff is made of. (scene cuts to the
Kelpshake on a plate and Karen being sent a sample of it) What's the secret ingredient, Karen? 

Karen: Well, it appears that the main ingredient is kelp juice. 

Plankton & Mr. Krabs: Just kelp juice? 

Mr. Krabs: And to think this whole time I could've been selling these meself! 

Plankton: ''You?'' What about me? If anyone, ''I'' deserve to make a buck of selling this stuff. 
Mr. Krabs: (takes kelp juice) No way, pipsqueak. This gold mine is mine. 

Plankton: Not if I can help it. (jumps at Mr. Krabs but goes between his eyes and splatters into the wall) Ow. 

Mr. Krabs: (cackling) Nice try. (about to take a sip) 

Karen: I wouldn't do that if I were you. There's another ingredient. 

Mr. Krabs: Hey, I paid good money for this thing. Of course I'm gonna drink it. (takes a sip then spits it out) What the...? I don't get what the big deal is. This tastes like a wet gym sock. 

Plankton: Really? Let me try that. (sips) Actually, there is a bit of a pungent aftertaste. 

Mr. Krabs: Hmmm. (sips) Hey, you're right. This ain't half bad. (takes another sip) This is amazing. 

Plankton: Well, don't be selfish. (sips and laughs) Oh yeah. 

Karen: Oh no. 

Plankton: (drinks all the juice) Krabs, we're all out of juice. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, we gotta get more. 

Karen: You're making a big mistake. 

Mr. Krabs: Ah, phooey. You don't know what you're talking about. (walks out with Plankton) Kelpshake, kelpshake. Oh how I
love a kelpshake. 

SpongeBob: (runs up crying covered in yellowish-green fur) What's happening to me? (Mr. Krabs & Plankton gasp) They've
shutdown the kelpshake restaurants! (screaming as he runs off) 

Plankton & Mr. Krabs: Huh? 

Worker #1: It'll take decades to clean this hazardous material up. 

Worker #2: I sure do feel sorry for whoever drank this. (Mr. Krabs screams as he is growing yellowish-green fur just like Plankton is) 

Plankton: Look at us! 
Mr. Krabs: Now what are we going to do? 

Plankton: I don't know about you but I'm going back to what I do best. Stealing your recipe. (laughs) 
Mr. Krabs: Hey, wait a minute! Plankton! 

Plankton: (laughs) Come to papa. (Mr. Krabs opens the door) 

Mr. Krabs: Hold it right there. You're not going anywhere...without a ten second head start. (opens vault) 

Plankton: It's good to be home. 

Mr. Krabs: You said it. 

Plankton: (runs off as Mr. Krabs chases him) I love being hated. 

Mr. Krabs: Hey, get back here you little booger!

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Born to Be Wild

2009-02-28T22:00:05Z

70.176.179.82:

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Rule of Dumb|Rule of Dumb]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Best Frenemies|Best Frenemies]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Born To Be Wild]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Scooter]]
*The Mild Ones

==Dialogue==

(opens up to bikers riding by coral, setting them on fire after they ride by) 

SpongeBob: (at [[Jellyfish Fields]]) La la la la la. (attempts at catching the jellyfish) Missed ya. Uh-oh. (notices road) You
shouldn't play in the street, little guy. You could get run over. (motorcycles approaching. As they do, SpongeBob hangs
onto ones jacket) The "Ild Ones"! That's a strange name. (jacket tears) Scallop!! (rolls in the cement) Bye "Ild Ones". I
like your silly name. Hmm..."w". Oh, oh, they're not the "Ild Ones". They must be the "Wild Ones". 

Fish: (dressed in farmer outfit with a pick-axe in his hand) The Wild Ones?! Tar nation! Don't you know who the Wild Ones
are, son?! 

SpongeBob: No; I don't know who you are, either. 

Fish: Why, they're the most ferocious, bloodthirsty biker gang under the sea. They've destroyed entire cities in an
afternoon! (laughs maniacally then jumps back into the hole he was digging) 

SpongeBob: Bloodthirsty bikers? And they're headed straight for Bikini Bottom. I've got to warn everybody. I better take
the shortcut. (as the next scene of bubbles comes up, so does SpongeBob. Bubble pops in the Krusty Krab) Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Where in the blue barnacles did you come from? 

SpongeBob: There's no time for that, Mr. Krabs. Grab something heavy! Bar the door! Board up the windows. We've got to
protect the Krusty Krab. The Krabby Patties must survive! 

Mr. Krabs: Settle down, son. What are you all riled up about? 

SpongeBob: Bikers... coming... nasty... ferocious... take... over... town. Destroy... must hide! 

Mr. Krabs: What are you going on about? Bikers?

SpongeBob: The Wild Ones are coming, Mr. Krabs. They're the most vicious, ravenous herd of hooligans in the sea. 

Mr. Krabs: Ravenous did you say? That's another word for hungry, isn't it? (cut to later where a sign hangs that
reads 'WELCOME WILD ONES!') Welcome Wild Ones! They'll be drawn here like a sailor at a tattoo parlor. With the special
biker parking and authentic biker decor, with real bloodstains. And to top it off, a custom chopper patty. And best of all,
I'll raise me prices 150%. I'll make a fortune. 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, this is serious! (crying...) 

Mr. Krabs: That kid needs a vacation -- unpaid of course. (cut to The Wild Ones 25 miles from Bikini Bottom. Cut to
SpongeBob in front of Squidward's house) 

SpongeBob: Squidward! (knocks on door) 

Squidward: Yes, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: A horrible biker gang called the "Wild Ones" are coming. We've got to run, hide! (crying) 

Squidward: Oh, my. This sounds serious. Luckily, I know just what you should do. Listen closely. 

SpongeBob: Uh-huh. 

Squidward: Get a good grip on your pants. (SpongeBob does so) Turn around. (SpongeBob does so) 
SpongeBob: Like this, Squidward? 

Squidward: That's it. (kicks SpongeBob into the air. Cut to SpongeBob landing next to Patrick, who is sniffing under his arm) 

SpongeBob: Patrick! 

Patrick: Hello, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: An evil gang of bikers are coming to ravage Bikini Bottom. 

Patrick: Huh. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, didn't you hear what I said?

Patrick: Oh, I heard you. What I didn't hear was a hello. 

SpongeBob: Hello, Patrick. 

Patrick: Hello, SpongeBob. Bloodthirsty bikers! We got to hide! (both run and scream then run into each other. Both run and
scream again and keep hitting each other till they run through Jellyfish Fields. Patrick and SpongeBob hide in a giant clam until it spits them out. The giant clam uses mouthwash) 

Giant Clam #2: Hey, what happened to you? 

Giant Clam #1: (groaning): I... I don't want to talk about it, man. (SpongeBob and Patrick fly through some kelp grass. As they hide in
it, a mower comes by and mows them over then uses a leaf blower to blow them into a pile. Both reform into their shapes and
scream more) 

Patrick: (jumps behind SpongeBob) Hide me! 

SpongeBob: (jumps behind Patrick) No, hide ''me''! 

Patrick: (jumps behind SpongeBob) Hide me! 

SpongeBob: (jumps behind Patrick) Me! 

Patrick: (jumps behind SpongeBob) No, me! 

SpongeBob: (jumps behind Patrick) ''Me!'' 

Patrick: (jumps behind SpongeBob) ''Me!'' 

SpongeBob: (jumps behind Patrick) ''Me!'' 

Patrick: No! No more running. 

SpongeBob: What? 

Patrick: Those bikers think they're so tough. With their leather hats (holds his pants) and their leather pants (points to
head) 

SpongeBob: (holds up a black sock) And their leather socks. 

Patrick: If we dressed up like that then ''we'd'' be the big, scary bikers and ''they'd'' be little baby doody-heads. 

SpongeBob: Say that again, Patrick. 

Patrick: Little baby doody-heads? 

SpongeBob: No, no, not that part. The part about dressing up like big, scary bikers. What do you think, Patrick? Do I look
though? 

Patrick: I wouldn't mess with ya. 

SpongeBob: Nor I with you, my friend. Let's ride. (cut to later where Patrick and SpongeBob are revving their engines. Zoom
out to show they are riding bicycles) Fear not. There is no need to panic. The Bikini Bottom bad boys are here. 

Fish #2: Ooh, I feel protected now. 

Scooter: Those are some mean looking rides, dudes. (chuckles) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, it's working. They think we're...vicious bikers. (cut to Krusty Krab) Bikini Bottom, you're salvation
is here. 

Patrick: (drools) See? 

SpongeBob: Patrick, that's your salivation. 

Patrick: Oh. 

SpongeBob: So, Squidward, are you ready to do your part? 

Squidward: Does that part include laughing at you? Cause you two look even more idiotic than usual. 

SpongeBob: Don't we look vicious and bloodthirsty? 

Patrick: I'm bloodthirsty. See? (shows a cup with the word 'BLOOD' on it. He takes a sip) Want some? 

SpongeBob: Oh, no thank you, Patrick. I'm drinking diet blood. (both take sips of their drinks) See Squidward? We walk the
walk but can we talk the talk? Do you want to join our biker gang? 

Squidward: No, I don't. 

Patrick: What about our biker club? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: How about our biker organization? 

Squidward: No! I don't want to join your biker alliance, outfits, or your fellowships. 

SpongeBob: What about our coalition? 

Patrick: Ooh, I don't know. That one's pretty exclusive. 

SpongeBob: (takes out clipboard) We'll just put you down as undecided. (Squidward groans and walks away) Hi, Mr Krabs.
We're the Bikini Bottom bad boys and we're bad to the bone. 

Mr. Krabs: This'll be great. Those bikers can work up an appetite beating you up in the parking lot. Then they can fill up
on delicious Krabby Patties then they can beat you up again. 

SpongeBob: Please, Mr. Krabs. We're going to run off those bikers and save the Krusty Krab. 

Mr. Krabs: You're not running off any of me paying customers. You can stay and get beat up in the parking lot if you
wish. 

SpongeBob: Then can we save the town? 

Squidward: Has it ever crossed your mind that you might be getting all worked up over nothing? 

SpongeBob: Squidward, when have I ever been known to over-react? (flashback) Squidward! We're out of napkins! (screams) Out
of napkins! (another flashback to SpongeBob banging on Squidward's door) Squidward! I accidentally removed the "Do No
Remove by Penalty of Law" tag on my mattress! Hide me. Hide me. (another flashback) Squidward! Squidward! I've gone blind.
(Squidward turns on lights) Oh. Thanks, Squidward. (back to present) 

Squidward: SpongeBob, you always over-react to everything. One of your many annoying traits. 

SpongeBob: (gasps) Me? Annoying? (annoying laughter. Squidward growls) You're right. 

Squidward: You are so wrong about everything, SpongeBob, that the only thing that I am completely sure about is that there
is no motorcycle gang headed this way. (motorcycles approaching) What was that? 

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, mateys. Motorcycle vehicles headed over the horizon. 

Squidward: What? (grabs binoculars) Gimme that. (sees them coming. His eyes pop through the binoculars as he screams) Don't
just stand there, save us. 

SpongeBob: Patrick, I know this looks like the end, but you and I can get through anything. As long as do it together.
(Patrick is already running away) Patrick? Patrick! (Patrick is headed into Jellyfish Fields and to the bus stop where a
bus picks him up and takes him to a plane. Patrick jumps out of the plane and onto a rocket ship) Well, it's just you and
me, Squidward. But I want you to know that we can get through this. As long as we... 

Squidward: Panic! Run for your lives! (customers gasp) The Wild Ones are coming! (everyone screams and runs) 

Fish #3: The Wild Ones? (jumps into a sardine box) Mabel, get the kids. (his family jumps into the sardine box and then
closes it) 

Fish #4: Honey, I got the napkins. Oh, what I have missed this time? 

Squidward: (running out of the Krusty Krab) Please don't kill me. I want to join you. It's been my life-long dream to be to
be a member of a motorcycle gang. I even knitted my own Wild Ones jacket. (shows a shirt with a skull on it) I want to ride
to live and live to ride. (screams as the bikers ride in a circle around him) I'll do whatever you want. I'll betray my
friends and neighbors. Just let me live. 

Biker #1: What's that, missy? 

Biker #2: What? 

Biker #1: Howdy, we're the "Mild Ones". 

SpongeBob: Mild Ones? (turns the W upside down) Oh! 

Biker #1: Gimme back my M. Let's go, boys. 

Mr. Krabs: Don't you want to spend any money? 

Biker #1: Don't you want to kiss the seat of my pants? Let's ride. (bikers ride off) 

SpongeBob: Good-bye. They seem really nice. Hey, where's Squidward? 

Squidward: Woo-hoo-hoo! (riding with the biker gang) Ride to live and live to ride.

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Waiting

2009-02-28T21:54:53Z

70.176.179.82:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Warten]]
{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Rise and Shine|Rise and Shine]]
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Episode Article: [[Waiting]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Sandy]]
*Mailman

==Dialogue==

(at the [[Barg'n Mart]], SpongeBob is whistling while putting a box of Kelp cereal in his shopping cart) 

SpongeBob: What's this? (reads box label) It says free prize! (braying laughter. Takes Gary and his box of cereal home and immediately dumps out all the cereal in the bowl and munches it all down) Huh? Where's my prize? (reads cereal box again) "Free Prize." (gasps) "Offer inside"! Just send in 99 box tops! (cut to SpongeBob eating more cereal with a bunch of cereal boxes all around him) How you doing over there, Gary? 

Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob opens up a box and pours the cereal in Gary's bowl) Meow. 

SpongeBob: Send in the box tops... (swallows the cereal in his mouth) ...before eating all the cereal?! Gary, you are a genius! (cut to SpongeBob stuffing the envelopes with box tops. Cut to SpongeBob outside by the mailbox) I'm waiting. I'm waiting. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: I'm waiting. I'm waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting. 

SpongeBob: We're waiting. 

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we waiting for? 

SpongeBob: We're waiting for the mailman. He's bringing me a free toy. 

Patrick: I love toys! Can I wait for your toy with you? 

SpongeBob: Why, sure. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: We're waiting. We're waiting. 

Patrick: There's the mailman! 

Mailman: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants? 

SpongeBob: Yup. (shuddering with excitement. Mailman hands him 3 envelopes) Isn't there anything else? 

Mailman: Nope, sorry kid. (walks off whistling) 

SpongeBob: Guess we'll have to keep waiting. (both wait by the mailbox. After a while, both of their stomachs growl and bark at each other) 

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I'm hungry. 

SpongeBob: Me, too. 

Patrick: Let's go down to the Krusty Krab for a Krabby Patty. 

SpongeBob: Great idea, Patrick. Krusty Krab, here we... ''wait'' a minute. What if the mailman comes when I'm gone? (clings onto the mailbox) 

Patrick: What's wrong SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: If I leave, the mailman might come and I might miss him. 

Patrick: Oh, I'm gonna take off then. I don't think my arm can stand much more of this. (Patrick's stomach is biting his arm) 

SpongeBob: (checks mailbox) Got to stay focused. (checks mailbox again. Sandy jumps in) 

Sandy: Hiya! Hey, SpongeBob, want to do some kara...!! (SpongeBob grabs her arm and flips her on her back) 

SpongeBob: Not now, I'm busy. (Sandy brushes herself off and walks away. SpongeBob checks the mailbox again. Gary pushes his bowl by SpongeBob’s foot) Oh, Gary, not now. Can't you see that I'm waiting for the mailman?! Doesn't anyone understand this?!? (checks mailbox again then pants as Gary takes his bowl away) So tired. So hungry. But must wait...for toy. 

Patrick: Hey, buddy. 

SpongeBob: (screaming): What!?! What do you want?! Can't you see I'm doing something here?! (pokes patrick in the head, checks mailbox) This better be good. 

Patrick: You missed your surprise birthday party, so I just wanted to bring you a present and some cake because you missed it. 

SpongeBob: My birthday party? I missed my birthday party? 

Patrick: Yeah, see? (shows present and cake) Here's a present and your cake. 

SpongeBob: My birthday cake. 

Patrick: Yeah. Let me just get you a fork so you can eat it. (Spongebob giggles) Uh, let me just hold the cake like this, (holds the piece of cake between his teeth) so I can get you a fork. (digs in pocket) Huh, I wonder where I put that fork. (notices he ate the cake) Oops. 

SpongeBob: That was my cake. What is the present?

Patrick: Oh, yeah. (opens the box) A fork! (SpongeBob sniffles, then cries loudly) 

SpongeBob: That stupid toy! I wasted my whole life waiting for it! 

Patrick: Actually, you've only been here 20 minutes. 

SpongeBob: I've been mean to Gary and I flipped Sandy, and now you hate me 'cause... I'm a big jerk! (cries) 

Patrick: No, I don't. 

SpongeBob: Yes, you do. 

Mailman: SpongeBob SquarePants? 

Patrick: Could you come back later? He's having a moment. 

Mailman: Yeah. I just need a signature for... 

Patrick: I said he's having a moment! Now leave him alone! 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, (sniff), people like me don't deserve moments. (signs for the package) I get so caught up in... Oh, here ya go. (takes package) ...in waiting for...my toy! (laughs. Patrick laughs) Whoo! 

Patrick: Whoo! Yeah! (both riverdance, laugh and dance on the ground. Spongebob opens up the package to reveal a green-headed, purple-colored body toy) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 

Patrick: Yup. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: It's beautiful. (Patrick touches it and its springs pop out) 

Patrick: SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: I waited so long... 

Patrick: SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: And you broke it... 

Patrick: You okay, buddy? 

SpongeBob: Yes, yes I'm okay. 

Patrick: (sighs) For a sec, I... 

SpongeBob: You! You ruined my free toy! 

Patrick: I'm sorry. Oh, maybe if you just... (pokes it but the springs stretch out. SpongeBob screams and Patrick screams, too. Squidward walks down the street while SpongeBob and Patrick are rolling around screaming and crying) 

Squidward: Just keep walking, Squiddy. don't make eye contact. (walks into his house, goes upstairs to look out the window and see SpongeBob & Patrick still screaming and crying, then closes his window) Ah, now to soothe my frayed nerves. (screaming and crying resume in louder outcome. Squidward walks out of his house) All right, what's going on? Why are you two crying? 

SpongeBob: (stuttering): I-I ate... box-box-box tops. And then... I'm waiting. I'm waiting. And then he came and we're waiting. We're waiting. And then my toy and then you and then snap and then this. (shows toy, SpongeBob still cries. Squidward fixes it by pushing its head down) 

Squidward: There. Now see? (shows how the toy works) It's supposed to do that. 

SpongeBob: Hey, my toy's okay! 

Squidward: Good. Now will you two be quiet? 

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, Squidward fixed it. (both run over and hug Squidward) How can we ever thank you? 

Patrick: Yeah, how can we thank you? (giggles) 

Squidward: Move to another neighborhood.

{{Template:Transcripts/Season 5}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

{{Slogan}}

Episode Transcript: Waiting

2009-02-28T21:51:32Z

70.176.179.82:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Warten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Rise and Shine|Rise and Shine]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Fungus Among Us|Fungus Among Us]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Waiting]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Sandy]]
*Mailman

==Dialogue==

(at the [[Barg'n Mart]], SpongeBob is whistling while putting a box of Kelp cereal in his shopping cart) 

SpongeBob: What's this? (reads box label) It says free prize! (braying laughter. Takes Gary and his box of cereal home and immediately dumps out all the cereal in the bowl and munches it all down) Huh? Where's my prize? (reads cereal box again) "Free Prize." (gasps) "Offer inside"?! Just send in 99 box tops? (cut to SpongeBob eating more cereal with a bunch of cereal boxes all around him) How you doing over there, Gary? 

Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob opens up a box and pours the cereal in Gary's bowl) Meow. 

SpongeBob: Send in the box tops... (swallows the cereal in his mouth) ...before eating all the cereal? Gary, you are a genius! (cut to SpongeBob stuffing the envelopes with box tops. Cut to SpongeBob outside by the mailbox) I'm waiting. I'm waiting. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: I'm waiting. I'm waiting. We're waiting. We're waiting. 

SpongeBob: We're waiting. 

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we waiting for? 

SpongeBob: We're waiting for the mailman. He's bringing me a free toy. 

Patrick: I love toys! Can I wait for your toy with you? 

SpongeBob: Why, sure. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: We're waiting. We're waiting. 

Patrick: There's the mailman! 

Mailman: Are you SpongeBob SquarePants? 

SpongeBob: Yup. (shuddering with excitement. Mailman hands him 3 envelopes) Isn't there anything else? 

Mailman: Nope, sorry kid. (walks off whistling) 

SpongeBob: Guess we'll have to keep waiting. (both wait by the mailbox. After a while, both of their stomachs growl and bark at each other) 

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I'm hungry. 

SpongeBob: Me, too. 

Patrick: Let's go down to the Krusty Krab for a Krabby Patty. 

SpongeBob: Great idea, Patrick. Krusty Krab, here we... wait a minute. What if the mailman comes when I'm gone? (clings onto the mailbox) 

Patrick: What's wrong SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: If I leave, the mailman might come and I might miss him. 

Patrick: Oh, I'm gonna take off then. I don't think my arm can stand much more of this. (Patrick's stomach is biting his arm) 

SpongeBob: (checks mailbox) Got to stay focused. (checks mailbox again. Sandy jumps in) 

Sandy: Hiya! Hey, SpongeBob, want to do some kara... (SpongeBob grabs her arm and flips her on her back) 

SpongeBob: Not now, I'm busy. (Sandy brushes herself off and walks away. SpongeBob checks the mailbox again. Gary pushes

his bowl by SpongeBob’s foot) Oh, Gary, not now. Can't you see that I'm waiting for the mailman? Doesn't anyone understand this? (checks mailbox again then pants as Gary takes his bowl away) So tired. So hungry. But must wait...for toy. 

Patrick: Hey, buddy. 

SpongeBob: What?! What do you want?! Can't you see I'm doing something here?! (checks mailbox) This better be good. 

Patrick: You missed your surprise birthday party, so I just wanted to bring you a present and some cake because you missed it. 

SpongeBob: My birthday party? I missed my birthday party? 

Patrick: Yeah, see? (shows present and cake) Here's a present and your cake. 

SpongeBob: My birthday cake. 

Patrick: Yeah. Let me just get you a fork so you can eat it. (Spongebob giggles) Uh, let me just hold the cake like this, (holds the piece of cake between his teeth) so I can get you a fork. (digs in pocket) Huh, I wonder where I put that fork. (notices he ate the cake) Oops. 

SpongeBob: That was my cake. What is the present?

Patrick: Oh, yeah. (opens the box) A fork! (SpongeBob sniffles, then cries loudly) 

SpongeBob: That stupid toy! I wasted my whole life waiting for it! 

Patrick: Actually, you've only been here 20 minutes. 

SpongeBob: I've been mean to Gary and I flipped Sandy. And now you hate me 'cause... I'm a big jerk! (cries) 

Patrick: No, I don't. 

SpongeBob: Yes, you do. 

Mailman: SpongeBob SquarePants? 

Patrick: Could you come back later? He's having a moment. 

Mailman: Yeah. I just need a signature for... 

Patrick: I said he's having a moment! Now leave him alone! 

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, people like me don't deserve moments. (signs for the package) I get so caught up in... Oh, here ya go. (takes package) ...in waiting for...my toy! (laughs. Patrick laughs) Whoo! 

Patrick: Whoo! Yeah! (both riverdance, laugh and dance on the ground. Spongebob opens up the package to reveal a green-headed, purple-colored body toy) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 

Patrick: Yup. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: It's beautiful. (Patrick touches it and its springs pop out) 

Patrick: SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: I waited so long. 

Patrick: SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: And you broke it. 

Patrick: You okay, buddy? 

SpongeBob: Yes, yes I'm okay. 

Patrick: Oh... oh, for a sec, I... 

SpongeBob: You! You ruined my free toy! 

Patrick: I'm sorry. Oh, maybe if you just... (pokes it but the springs stretch out. SpongeBob screams and Patrick screams, too. Squidward walks down the street while SpongeBob and Patrick are rolling around screaming and crying) 

Squidward: Just keep walking, Squiddy. don't make eye contact. (walks into his house, goes upstairs to look out the window and see SpongeBob & Patrick still screaming and crying, then closes his window) Ah, now to soothe my frayed nerves. (screaming and crying resume in louder outcome. Squidward walks out of his house) All right, what's going on? Why are you two crying? 

SpongeBob: (stuttering): I-I ate... box-box-box tops. And then... I'm waiting. I'm waiting. And then he came and we're waiting. We're waiting. And then my toy and then you and then snap and then this. (shows toy, SpongeBob still cries. Squidward fixes it by pushing its head down) 

Squidward: There. Now see? (shows how the toy works) It's supposed to do that. 

SpongeBob: Hey, my toy's okay! 

Squidward: Good. Now will you two be quiet? 

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, Squidward fixed it. (both run over and hug Squidward) How can we ever thank you? 

Patrick: Yeah, how can we thank you? (giggles) 

Squidward: Move to another neighborhood.

{{Template:Transcripts/Season 5}}

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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 5]]

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