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Episode Transcript: Sailor Mouth

2009-01-31T00:59:38Z

70.18.13.169: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[Sailor Mouth (Episode)|Sailor Mouth]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Krusty Krab]] customers
*[[Mama Krabs]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*[[Tom]]

==Dialogue==

Mr. Krabs: Well, it's the worst time of the day once again(cringes as he changes the sign to "Closed") Closing time!

SpongeBob: Well, see you in the AM, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Hold on there, boy!(pulls SpongeBob back) Take that pile of filth out with you.(Squidward holds up a trash bag)

SpongeBob:(gasps) Mr. Krabs, you shouldn't talk about Squidward like that!

Squidward: He means this filth, you loon.

SpongeBob: Takin' out the trash, takin' out the trash. Hmm...dumpster writing! The voice of the people! "Up with bubbles, down with air!" (laughs) "Nematodes are people too!" (laughs) Nematodes... Here's one someone didn't finish! Squidward smells. (writes the word "good" after "smells") Good.(laughs) Hmm, what's this one? Krabs is a... hmm? Krabs is a (dolphin chirps; curse word).

Garbage Man: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?!

SpongeBob: Well, sometimes,but not recently.

Patrick: Hi, garbage man. Hi, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick! Patrick, do you know what this word means?

Patrick: Krabs... Uh, isn't that the red sweaty guy you work for?

SpongeBob: No, not that word,THAT word.

Patrick: Hmm... sucker! Uh, hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers. 

SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers? 

Patrick: You use them when you want to talk fancy. You just sprinkle it on anything you say, and Wham-O! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich! 

SpongeBob: Oh, I get it! Here, let me try.(coughs)(fancy tone) Hello, Patrick. Lovely (curse word) day it is, isn't it?

Patrick: Why yes it is, SpongeBob. This (curse word) day is particularly (curse word) lovely! 

SpongeBob: How (curse word) right you are, Patrick! (Both start saying the word multiple times)

SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick, my lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation. 

Patrick: Oh, me too! (both laugh) 

SpongeBob: It tickles when I laugh! 

(SpongeBob walks into the Krusty Krab next day)

SpongeBob: Hello,customers, nice (curse word) day we're having! 

Fish: Did he just say? 

Pirate Fish: Aye, he did. 

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick, how the (curse word) are you? 

Patrick: (walks into the Krusty Krab) Pretty (curse word) good, SpongeBob. 

Old Man Jenkins: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter mouth convention. 

SpongeBob: (taps on the microphone) Attention, customers, today's special is a (curse word) Krabby Patty served with in a greasy (curse word) sauce and grilled to (curse word) perfection. And don't forget to ask us to (curse word) the (curse word) fries. It'll be our (curse word) pleasure. Hi Squidward, how the (curse word) are ya? 

Patrick: Nice (curse word) day we're having, isn't it Squidward? 

Tom: I don't understand. The guy's talented, but he doesn't have to work blue. 

Evelyn: Let's go somewhere more family oriented. 

(Everyone leaves the Krusty Krab with disappointing shouts, a fish says in the background: "I'm eating at the Chum Bucket!") 
(Sirens wail)

Mr. Krabs: Ah!! The Krusty Krab! She's empty! All hands on deck! Batten the front doors! Brace the cash register! Break out the happy snacks! Squidward, where have all my money paying customers gone? 

Squidward: Apparently the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word, and SpongeBob just said it over the intercom. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, what was it? What'd he say? 

Squidward:(whispers)really bad vandilism. 

Mr. Krabs: Huh?

Squidward:(whispers)really bad vandalism. 

Mr. Krabs: gasp!!! SpongeBob and Friend!!!!! Front and center! I think I should make you paint the Krusty Krab for using such language! 

SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, we were only using our sentence enhancers. 

Patrick: Yeah,it's fancy talk. 

Mr. Krabs: There ain't nothing fancy about that word! 

SpongeBob: You mean (curse word)? 

Mr. Krabs: Yes, that one. Now quit saying it! It's a bad word. 

SpongeBob and Patrick: Bad word??????????!!!!!! 

Mr. Krabs: Yes sirree, that's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use. 

Squidward: Don't you mean there are only 7? 

Mr. Krabs: Not if you're a sailor! (laughs) 

SpongeBob: Wow, 13! 

Patrick: That's a lot of (curse word) bad words!

Mr. Krabs: OK, boys. I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again. 

SpongeBob and Patrick: We promise. 

(back at SpongeBob's house, playing [[Eels and Escalators]])

SpongeBob: Gee, I'm glad Mr. Krabs told us that word we were using was a bad word! 

Patrick: Yeah, me too, because classy sophisticates like us shouldn't stain our lips with cursing. 

SpongeBob: Yay,verily! Now, let's play a nice, wholesome game of Eels and Escalators. 

Patrick: Hooray, my favorite! 

SpongeBob: Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes! (rolls the dice) 

Patrick: Oh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob, you gotta rent an eel.

SpongeBob: Darn. (moves game piece to eel) 

Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice) Hooray! escalators! Yay! Up,up,up!

SpongeBob: Come on, escalators, escalators! (rolls dice) Uh, eels again.

Patrick: My turn! (rolls dice)Escalators!

SpongeBob: Escalators, escalators, escalators!(throws dice) Eels?

Patrick:(rolls dice)Es-skee-lators!! (moves to escalators) Well, this is your last chance, SpongeBob, for if you get eels again, you lose!

SpongeBob: (gets frustrated while rolling the dice) Escalators, escalators, escalators!!! (dice is thrown and lands on escalators) Ha! Escalators! (dice turns to eels)

Patrick: Eels!

SpongeBob: Ah, (curse word)! (closes mouth) 

Patrick: Oh! you said number 11! 

SpongeBob: Ah! It just slipped out, you know. You understand, right, Patrick! You gotta understand!

Patrick: Don't worry,SpongeBob,I understand. Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (starts running to the Krusty Krab) 

SpongeBob: Please Pat, please don't tell! 

Patrick: But you said (curse word)! 

SpongeBob: Oh, I'm telling Mr. Krabs on you! 

Patrick: Not if I tell him first! 

SpongeBob: I can run faster than you!(laughs)

Patrick: (riding in an ice cream truck) See ya at the Krusty Krab! Ha, ha, ha! (the truck goes the wrong way)oh no!! 

SpongeBob: Ha! Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: What, what, what? 

SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!!

Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?!!

SpongeBob: He said, he said, he said!

Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!

SpongeBob: Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escalators,and Patrick was going up,up,up,and I rent an eel and then we ran and Patrick,he said some things!

Mr.Krabs: What kind of things?SpongeBob:Well, he said..ah.. Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes?!

SpongeBob: Well, let's just say he said a certain word that you said we shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in the 13 words you said shouldn't be said.

Mr. Krabs: Uh... right,uh, you said what...? Who now?

Patrick:(eats an ice cream): Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr.Krabs!! (Mr. Krabs sighs)

(both babble on about the word, but Mr. Krabs grabs their lips)

Mr. Krabs: Now I'm gonna let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you boys to calmly tell me what you need to tell me,understand?

Both: Mmm-hmm(Mr. Krabs lets go of their lips) He said (curse word)!

Mr. Krabs: Ah! Do my ears deceive me? You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash. I thought I made it clear. Never, and I mean,never use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of you wait right here. I'll be back. 

Patrick: What's going to happen to us? 

SpongeBob: We'll probably get 40 lashes! 

Patrick: (imagines himself with 40 eyelashes) 

SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Patrick. Mr. Krabs was right. There's no use for words like that.

Patrick: I'm sorry,too,SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: From now on, we shall not let cursing stain our lips! We will be good citizens,just like good ol' Mr.Krabs.

Patrick:(shakes hands with SpongeBob)Agreed!

Mr. Krabs: All right, you two foul mouths. As punishment for poisoning the air in my restaurant with your foul words, you're going to give the Krusty Krab a fresh coat of paint from top to... (trips on rock) Ow, ooh! Ow! My (curse word)!!!!!!!!! Foot! What kind of (curse word)!!!!!! sir genius put a rock under my foot? Now I've got (curse word) under there! Oh (curse word)!!!!!!!!! Truck grabbin' (curse word)!!!!!!!!!
 

SpongeBob: 7,8,9,10,11,12,13! That's all 13, Patrick! (cut to SpongeBob with 13 fingers) We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: No, not me mommy! That would break her poor old heart! 

SpongeBob and Patrick: Mama Krabs, Mama Krabs! Mr. Krabs said (curse word)!!!!!!!! then he said (curse word)!!!!!!! and (curse word)!!!!!!!!!!!! (curse word!!!!!!!!! with a side of (curse word)!! I have never heard in all of my days! 

Mama Krabs: Oh, dear! My poor old heart. 

Mr. Krabs:(gasps) Oh, dear mother! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? (takes a coin out of her pocket) You two should be ashamed! Making an old lady faint with your sailor talk! 

Mama Krabs: You should all be ashamed! If you're gonna talk like sailors, you're gonna work like sailors! 

(the three are painting her house, Patrick is painting the sand)

Mama Krabs: I guess you three scalawags have earned yourselves a glass of lemonade! (laughs, trips on a rock) Ow! my (horn honks)!!!!!!!! foot! 

Mr. Krabs: Mother! 

Mama Krabs: What? It's Old Man Jenkins in his jalopy. 

Old Man Jenkins: Howdy, Mrs. K! 

SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Mama Krabs: (laughing)

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

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Episode Transcript: Pressure

2009-01-31T00:53:20Z

70.18.13.169: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[Pressure (Episode)|Pressure]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[The Seagulls from Land]]

==Dialogue==
Sandy: (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to just get off my hang-glider and just relax. 

SpongeBob: Yeah. Just relax. (sighs) They're beautiful. 

Sandy: Yeah. 

SpongeBob: That one looks like a flower. 

Sandy: They all look like flowers, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Yeah. All dirty and all sweaty. 

Sandy: You know, normally I'd race you to the top of that mountain, but who would want to do that. 

SpongeBob: Yeah! 

Sandy: And, we'd all know who would get to the top first. 

SpongeBob and Sandy: Yeah. Me. 

SpongeBob: Very funny, Sandy. I thought you said you could beat me at a climbing contest. 

Sandy: Of course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge) 

SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts. 

Sandy: Nope, that means I'm a natural climber from the upper world. 

SpongeBob: (laughs) Land-smash, it's all about fingers, baby, and what we have got plenty of down here are finger muscles! (his fingers do poses) What do you think about that, air breather? 

Sandy: Well, I'd say I'm already halfway there. (SpongeBob begins to climb the mountain, unleashes rocks at him) 

SpongeBob: Hey! You did that on purpose. 

Sandy: That was an accident! This was on purpose! (throws more rocks at him) I hope you didn't forget your umbrella. 

SpongeBob: (holds on to an umbrella and floats up). I DIDN'T...!!! 

Sandy: Well. It's about time you got here. 

SpongeBob: Ooh. I bet you can't beat me to the Krusty Krab 

Sandy: There is no way a sea creature is gonna beat me at running. 

SpongeBob: Well I'd say I'm already halfway there...halfway there (zoom out to reveal a busted record repeating "halfway there") 

SpongeBob: (laughing, hits a brick wall, Sandy jumps on his sponge body). 

Sandy: See? I told you y'all can't... 

SpongeBob: (dressed as an old man) There you are! Lay on your land creature stuff to keep an old sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing) 

Sandy: I though y'all wanted a rematch. 

Patrick: (comes along) 

Squidward: What's all the laughing! 

Patrick: She says land creatures are better. 

Sandy: Ok, you sea creatures got the upper hand in swimming. But we land creatures are way better than y'all sea creatures. 

Patrick: At what? 

Sandy: Oh, at darn everything I guess. Horse riding and cow roping and pie eating and... 

Mr. Krabs: (comes along and Sandy finishes) 

SpongeBob: I'll admit. You got some pretty good moves, for a squirrel. 

Patrick: I bet they can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah. 

Sandy: Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh) 

Patrick: Thank you, thank you. 

Sandy: Well, there's just one thing. 

Mr. Krabs: Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that. 

Sandy: Uh...uh...

Squidward: How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh? 

SpongeBob: Can you reproduce by budding. (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? 

Sandy: No! 

SpongeBob: Most importantly...can you do this? (All except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath) 

Sandy: Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway? 

SpongeBob: Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything a sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't live down here! 

Sandy: Well, you know... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show ya all! I don't need this air suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp) 

Sandy: And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground) 

Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her! 

Squidward: How long can she stay like that? 

SpongeBob: I don't know! 

Patrick: Sandy's a girl? 

SpongeBob: Wow Sandy. I guess I was wrong. Land creatures really are best. At least until they have to breathe... (Sandy winks) Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out) 

Mr. Krabs: It's free! (Krabs then takes a deep breath too) 

Sandy: (starts suffocating underwater, then she puts her head into a pickle jar.) 

Mr. Krabs: I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather! 

Patrick: Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.) 

Sandy: All right already! You've had your laugh. Now it's my turn! You sea creatures flopping around and swimming with your fancy fins and gills such. But there's no way you old wetheads could last even a minute in my turf. 

Squidward: Do we need pickle jars? (all begin to laugh) 

Sandy: (leads them all to a hill) Well?

Mr. Krabs: Well, um... we're late. 

Squidward: Ya, late. We're all late for... 

Patrick: A fitting! 

Sandy: Fit what? Your chicken costumes!

Patrick: (holding popcorn) We are not chickens! (drops popcorn) Huh! My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken) 

SpongeBob: Yeah, we can do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission acomplished. 

Sandy: Tell you what. You stay underwater for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures! 

SpongeBob: No, way, San-day. We can take on your challenge! 

Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: We're not afraid of your dumb old land!

Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: WE'RE SEA CREATURES!

SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: YEAH!

SpongeBob: Well, here I go. 

Mr. Krabs: Wait, SpongeBob! (gives him a glass) 

SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs (drinks from it) Here I go! Hey, it isn't so bad here. 

Patrick: Well, I'll do this quick. Cannonball!

Mr. Krabs: (goes up)

SpongeBob: Yeah, Mr. Krabs!

SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! 

Squidward: Well, ok. But I won't like it. (goes up. laughing stops.) What? 

SpongeBob: Well, here we are. 

Squidward: This is pretty easy. 

Patrick: I could keep a second rock up here. 

Mr. Krabs: Once you get your land legs it's not so bad! 

SpongeBob: We are the masters of land and sea! 

SpongeBob: (approaching birds) Hey, a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?

Sandy: 5,4,3,2,1. Wow. They made it. Better congratulate them. (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them, attacks the birds) Hey! You can't eat my friends like that! 

(back underwater)

SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy! Thanks for saving our butts back there. 

Mr. Krabs: Free cheers for land creatures and sea creatures! Hep hep! 

SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray! 

Mr. Krabs: Hep hep! 

SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray! 

Mr. Krabs: Hep hep! 

Seagulls: Hooray. 

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

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Episode Transcript: Karate Island

2009-01-31T00:48:34Z

70.18.13.169: /* Dialogue */

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Episode Article: [[Karate Island (Episode)|Karate Island]]

== Characters ==

*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Master Udon]]
*[[The Tickler]]
*[[Lip Service]]
*[[Filthy Phil]]

==Dialogue==

SpongeBob: (squeezes some shell wax onto Gary's shell) Alright, Gary, ready for your yearly shell waxing? 

Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob grabs his nose and uses his back to wax Gary's shell) 

SpongeBob: Just look at that shine! Now let's check under the hood. (opens Gary's shell and jumps in) Geez, Gary, this place is a real snail-sty. 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: Still? From New Year's Eve? (Gary blows his horn because SpongeBob said, "New Year's Eve") (sees something on the ground) What?! I've been looking everywhere for this, Gary. (laughs) My favorite novelty t-shirt. (holds up a shirt that says I <3 krabby patties. Doorbell rings) Oh, someone's here. (jumps out of Gary's shell) 

Mailman: Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants. 

SpongeBob: Special delivery? Just for me? You think I'm...special? (hugs the mailman) 

Mailman: Alright, do we have to go through this every time I give you your mail? Sheesh. (leaves) 

SpongeBob: What could it be today, Gary? 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: (opens package) A videotape? (reads it) "You're a winner -- SpongeBob SquarePants". I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!
(inserts videotape into vcr. Videotape plays) 

Announcer: Karate Island: A serene and exotic location where nature and beauty abound, and hundreds of fighting styles collide in a wave of non-stop, pulsating, no-hold barred action! For centuries, the world's top karate artists have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate. 

SpongeBob: King of Karate? 

Announcer: Now it's your turn...

Announcer 2: ...SpongeBob SquarePants.

Announcer: You've won an all-expense paid trip to Karate Island! Hi-yah! Where you'll be crowned this year's King of Karate!

SpongeBob: Ooh... Did you hear that, Gary? I'm going to be crowned... (shouts karate yells) King of Karate! (jumps to the door, leaving his arm in the ground) Whoo-hoo! (shouts karate yells) 

Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Hello, Sandy. Have you heard the news? I was invited to Karate Island to be crowned the king of karate. 

Sandy: Karate Island? I've never heard of Karate Island. 

SpongeBob: Oh, sure, Sandy, all the big karate experts go there. 

Sandy: But my karate is better than your karate by a country mile and I've never been invited. 

SpongeBob: Maybe your karate was the best, but now they've recognized a new number one. 

Sandy: There's something rotten in the Alamo. I'd better tag along and see if it's on the up-and-up. 

SpongeBob: All right, Sandy, you can come with me to witness my crowning moment. (laughs. Scene cuts to both in a boat
heading towards Karate Island) Are we there yet? 

Sandy: Yup. That's it over there. 

SpongeBob: What make you think that's Karate Island? (big sign that says "Welcome to Karate Island" is pointing at the
island) 

Sandy: I don't know -- lucky guess? (three fish are waiting on top of some rocks for SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Sandy arrive
on the island) 

SpongeBob: Hello there, the King of Karate has arrived. 

Fish: Welcome to my island, SpongeBob-san. (bows) 

SpongeBob: Oh, thank you. (bows) 

Master Udon: I am Master Udon. 

Sandy: Howdy, Master Udon, I'm Sandy Cheeks. I do a little karate, myself. 

SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you. They only have time for royalty. 

Sandy: Oh, brother. 

Master Udon: Please, show me some of your moves, Master SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: You hear that, Sandy? He called me "master". Bring on your best fighters! I'll try to go easy on 'em. (three
fighters appear) 

Sandy: SpongeBob, your karate's not good enough to handle those sidewinders. 

SpongeBob: Pa-shaw! Watch and learn, sister. (shouts karate yells at the first fighter. He falls to the ground) Yup. That's
how the King of Karate does it. Who's next? 

Sandy: Something smells like rancid rodeo around here. (all the fighters are knocked out) 

Master Udon: Excellent. Truly you are King of Karate.

SpongeBob: The one and only. 

Master Udon: We must make ready for your coronation. 

SpongeBob: I'm ready to be King of Karate! (gong sounds) 

Master Udon: King of Karate-san, it is time for you to take your rightful place on your throne. 

SpongeBob: My throne. (floats over to the throne) 

Sandy: All right, Udon, I'm on to you. This is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder. 

SpongeBob: (sitting on his throne) Come, Sandy, take your place next to the king and share in my crowning achievement.
(claps twice) Bring a seat for my air-breathing friend. (chair is brought) 

Sandy: SpongeBob, ya'll are getting a bit wily. 

SpongeBob: Oh, do I detect a note of jealousy, Sandy? 

Sandy: Heck, I could karate you in a country fiddle with one paw tied behind my back. 

SpongeBob: (laughs) But who's being crowned King of Karate -- not you. 

Sandy: I'm getting off this crazy train! (mumbles) 

Master Udon: Master, don't worry about her. She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. (laughs) Let the
coronation begin! 

SpongeBob: Sandy's going to miss out, big time. (is chained down to the throne. Master Udon reaches into his robe and takes
out a pen) 

Sandy: That dang SpongeBob. Who does he think he is? I taught that yellow beaver maniac everything he knows about fighting -
- and that ain't much. 

SpongeBob: No! 

Sandy: SpongeBob’s in trouble! (SpongeBob screams) SpongeBob is the "King of Karate". He doesn't need me. Eh, he can handle
this himself. 

SpongeBob: (in the distance) Sandy, I need you! I can't handle this myself. 

Sandy: Hold on, buddy! (enters a building where Master Udon is watching from above) 

SpongeBob: No, Sandy! 

Master Udon: She will never reach you. She must first pass through the 'Four Floors of Fear'. 

Sandy: (enters first room) SpongeBob? 

The Tickler: Ha. Ha-ha-ha. You cannot pass unless you defeat me, The Tickler, and my iron-finger style. (both get ready then
attack) Ha-ha. Look! 

Sandy: Huh? (laughs as she is being tickled) 

The Tickler: Prepare for the tickling of your life! 

Sandy: Taste these! (has a plate full of jelly-filled donuts) 

The Tickler: Oh no! Jelly-filled donuts? How did you know they were my weakness? 

Sandy: No one can resist jelly-filled. (throws the donuts into The Tickler's mouth) Sticky around, I'll be back with the glazed. 

The Tickler: I could use a wet nap. 

Sandy: (enters floor two) All right, who's next? 
Lip Service: Halt! No one passes me, Lip Service, and my power-flexi dynamo-lip thruster style. (attacks Sandy) 

Lip Service: Dance, squirrel, dance. (her lips send Sandy backwards) 

Sandy: Advanced hair-dryer style! 

Lip Service: (laughs) What do you expect to do with that? (Sandy uses the hair-dryer to blow air on L.P.'s lips, making
them chapped) Oh, no! Not chapped lips! (takes out some Lip Balm. Applies some but it breaks her lips) 

Sandy: That's enough lip out of you. (enters third floor but slips on her way in because it's covered in mud. She slides into a big green jabba-the-hut look-alike) 

Filthy Phil: No one has ever made it to the lair of Filthy Phil. No one passes except me. Now feel the steam of my horrible body odor. (strains to get body odor out. The body odor tries to get into Sandy's helmet but can't) 

Sandy: Ha-ha, Phil! Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-air dome. 

Filthy Phil: Fresh-air dome? (inhales his own body odor) Man, I really do stink. (passes out. Sandy breaks through some boards to enter floor four where Master Udon is) 

Master Udon: You are one impressive squirrel. You even made a costume change. 

Sandy: Release SpongeBob. 

Master Udon: Never. (as Sandy is going to attack, she is trapped in a bird cage. She strains to break through but can't) He
is forbidden to leave until...he signs this contract. 

Sandy: What are you talking about? 

Master Udon: Real estate. 

Sandy: You mean this whole thing was a scam to get us to buy real estate? 

Master Udon: Yes. If there was a real Karate Island, I'd be a millionaire. 

SpongeBob: You mean I'm not King of Karate? 

Master Udon: No. But you could be King of Condos. Here, let me explain. It's really quite simple. (pulls down chart) See,
if you invest in a time share here on Condo Island, you can see your equity increase ten-fold. Perhaps you and your yellow friend would like to set up a timeshare plan? 

SpongeBob: Don't do it, Sandy! (Sandy chants something) 

Sandy: (breaks the bird cage) I wont' give in to your timeshare vacation scam! 

Master Udon: Then give into my fists. (rips clothes off to show a more buff Master Udon. Sandy does same to reveal a buff
Sandy. Both flex their body then fight. Sandy jumps on top of Master Udon's head then slaps him with her feet. Master Udon
then grabs Sandy and throws her into the wall. They karate chop some more before Sandy grabs him and throws him on the ground over and over. She then throws him in the air and kicks him in the face, sending him outside into the ocean) 

Sandy: You're in the soup now, Udon! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Sandy walking toward their boat) 

SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk back there. Thanks for saving me from... (swallows hard) buying a
condo. 

Sandy: Aw, shucks, SpongeBob, that's what friends are for. 

SpongeBob: I still have one question, though. Does this mean I'm not King of Karate? 

Sandy: You are in my book, SpongeBob. You are in my book. Now let me tell you about real estate. It's all about location... (boat drives off as another boat, carrying Squidward, arrives) 

Squidward: I'm here! The King of Clarinets has arrived. (Master Udon is waiting on top of the rocks again) 

*After the end of the episode a Picture of Pat Morita is shown. (Pat Morita-- 1932-2005)

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Bubble Buddy (Episode)

2009-01-30T01:07:07Z

70.18.13.169: /* Trivia/Goofs */

[[de:Bernhard Blase (Episode)]]
{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:299px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Bubble Buddy.JPG|300px]]</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Bubble Buddy
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || 23b
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 16.11.2000
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 2
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[Big Pink Loser]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[Dying for Pie]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"Bubble Buddy"''' is an episode from Season 2

==Info==
===Time/Date===
*Sunday, October 9th

===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Bubble Buddy (Character)|Bubble Buddy]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]] [[Image:Taxi-kumpelblase.jpg|thumb|right|Bubble Buddy going in a Bubble Taxi]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Pearl]]
*Pearl's friends
*[[Grubby Grouper]]
*Lifeguard
*[[Fred]]
*Beachers
*[[Tom]]
*[[Sadie Rechid]]
*[[[[Nancy]]
*[[Don the Whale]]
*[[Harold]]

===Places===
*[[SpongeBob's House]]
*[[Patrick's House]]
*[[Squidward's House]]
*[[Krusty Krab]]
*[[Goo Lagoon]]

==Plot==
SpongeBob wakes up with a Viking costume on, and exclaims "Hey everybody! It's [[Leif Erikson Day]]! Hinga Dinga Durgen!". He moves his bed using an oar, and goes to Patrick's house. He sees a giant note, saying "[[SpongeBob]], went to get more giant paper. Uuuuhh... [[Patrick]]. P.S. Happy Leif Ericsson Day! Yer Ha Dinger Jinger!". He wonders if Sandy will play with him, and there is a note on the door of her treedome. It reads "SpongeBob, went South for the winter. Love, Sandy.". SpongeBob says that the water's fine, then realizes that it's snowing in her [[Treedome]]. He goes to Squidward's house, and there's another note. It says "no", answering SpongeBob's question of whether he wants to play with him. He also asks whether he's sure, and another note behind it says "yes". He decides to make a buddy, and after trying out Stick Buddy, Rock Buddy and Sink Buddy, he decides to make Bubble Buddy, a humanoid bubble. At the [[Krusty Krab]], SpongeBob asks Squidward to get everything on the menu for Bubble Buddy. However, he says specifications that Squidward has to adhere to, which are:
*No cheese
*No crust
*Ketchup under the patty
*Pickles on the left side
*Four squirts of ketchup
*Wheat buns
*No dairy products
*Farm-raised tomatoes
*Carnival Style

He pays them in bubble-money (which pops), angering Squidward and Mr. Krabs. He angers other people, and on the beach. All the townspeople are fed up with Bubble Buddy and begin to riot. But Squidward steps in and begins to blame SpongeBob and the bubble he has created. All the townspeople try to pop Bubble Buddy with pins. Before the pin reaches him, however, he catches it, and Bubble Buddy comes to life and leaves in a bubble car.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*The music used during the episode title and opening credits was later used as theme music for the Nicktoons Summer Beach House which ran from the summer of 2002 and 2003.
*When the episode first aired, the opening titles were shown as was [[Big Pink Loser]]. A seconds into Big Pink Loser, it cuts to SpongeBob going to Patrick's house. This was fixed in later airings.
*In the beginning of the episode, the narrator said SpongeBob made up [[Leif Erikson Day]], but it is actually a real holiday (on October 9th)
*Squidward cooks perfectly in this episode but in [[Pickles]], [[Hooky]], [[Nature Pants]], [[The Original Fry Cook]] and [[The Algae's Always Greener]] he makes mistakes or lacks focus.
*When SpongeBob shouts out "shake that Bubble Butt", [[Nancy]] is not there but when Larry and the others complain about what Bubble Buddy said to them ("shake that bubble butt") she is with them upset about it.
*Captions disappear sometimes in the episode, mostly the beginning.

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Bubble Buddy]]

==Video==
*[http://watchspongebobonline.com/spongebob-squarepants-season-2-episode-3-bubble-buddy/ Bubble Buddy Video]

{{Season2}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 2]]

Pest of the West (Episode)

2009-01-30T01:05:14Z

70.18.13.169: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:299px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Pestofwildwestep2.jpg|299px]]</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Pest of the West
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: ||97
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 4.11.2008
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 5
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[To Save a Squirrel]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[20,000 Patties Under the Sea]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"Pest of the West"''' is an episode from Season 5

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Krusty Krab]] Customers
*[[SpongeBuck]] [[Image:Idiot Friendship.jpg|thumb|right|Idiot Friendship: It's a something with no definition!]]
*[[Pecos Patrick]]
*[[Dead Eye Plankton]]
*[[Mr. Krabs' Western Ancestor]]
*[[Mrs. Puff's Western Ancestor]]
*[[Squidward's Western Ancestor]]
*Citzens of Dead Eye Gulch
*Patrick Revere
*[[Frank]]
*[[Nancy 's Western Ancestor]]
*[[Sadie Rechid's Western Ancestor]]
*[[Timmy's Western Ancestor]]
===Places===
*[[Krusty Krab]]
*[[Bikini Bottom]] Library
*[[Dead Eye Gulch]]
**[[Krusty Kantina]]
**Dead Eye Gulch Funeral Parlor and Ice Cream Parlor
**Old Dead Tree Hill (Cemetery)
**Boot Hill (Cemetery)

===Songs===
*[[Dead Eye]]
*[[Idiot Friends]]

==Plot==
After annoying Squidward and a customer by making Toot-toot sounds to bring the Krabby Patty, SpongeBob is rushed up and worried when Patrick pretends he is trying to be his great-great-great uncle Patrick Revere and he does not have to succeed in anything because his ancestor already did it for him. It's too bad nobody listened to him, because the mollusks were really coming! Then, SpongeBob realizes that Mr. Krabs' great-great Gandpapi Krabs, is the inventor of spend trip bill pull system which is a finger snatcher will make your fingers swollen by the money-pulling gag for pickpockets (a parody of the mousetrap).

Then, SpongeBob sees a [[jellyfish]] poop-covered statue that resembles a fish. SpongeBob then saw Sandy and asked her if she has any famous relative. She replies, Rosy Cheeks is the first Squirrel who discovered oil. Sandy then shows SpongeBob his ancestors and family at the Bikini Bottom Library of the ancestors of Bikini Bottom Families Book, and they skip down to the S content (which Sandy mentions there's a family with a last name called SquareShirt, which takes off SquarePants) where they see SpongeBuck SquarePants.

'''''SpongeBuck's Story''''' 
It was the early village called Dead Eye Gulch, and it was attacked by a villain from the east also known as that no-good
Dead Eye. SpongeBuck buys a vanilla ice cream from a ice cream parlor, and then goes into the Krusty Katrina. He tells Squidward to give him a 2% Organic Milk, which almost makes SpongeBuck nauseous. Then, Pecos Patrick yells out Dead Eye's a coming to the Gulch. Mrs. Puff, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, Tom, Fred, and others except SpongeBuck sing the song about Dead Eye Plankton called [[Dead Eye]]. Then, Dead Eye Plankton shows up, and steals the Krusty Katrina's money and injures everybody with his electric shocking wire. Then, SpongeBuck yells out that Mr. Krabs' money is not his, and then Plankton slaps SpongeBuck's feet and car jockey with his electric shocking wire, making SpongeBuck run away to a nearby desert and Dead Eye Plankton attacks everyone (and he breaks the fourth wall by also slapping his wire at the audience).
Later, Pecos Patrick tells SpongeBuck not to give up and go back to Dead Eye Gulch. They use a short cut by landing onto a
cactus, making them yell, scream, and jump in pain back into the town. Then, Dead Eye Plankton takes away all of Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Mrs. Puff's Ancestors clothes, leaving them in nothing but their underwear and mini-shirts. Then, SpongeBuck decides to make a plan, but all he can say is ''bzzz-bzzz-bzzz-bzzz''. Then, SpongeBuck and Dead Eye Plankton meet at 12:00 p.m. Noon Sharp, and they make a slow battle standoff. Then, slowly, SpongeBuck walks forward. Then Dead Eye Plankton walks
up forward too, and they both slowly walk forward, without saying anything, and they keep slowy go forward until...SpongeBuck quickly wins by accidentally stepping on Dead Eye Plankton, thus the town is saved, and everyone gets revenge for one dollar on Dead Eye Plankton by stepping on him! The early cowboy hero tale ends.

'''''Back To Bikini Bottom''''' 
Then, SpongeBob runs out of the library, and cleans up the entire jellyfish poop, thus revealing the SpongeBuck golden statue. Sandy Cheeks becomes very jealous because she does not have a ancestor statue, and she tries not to be angry by just saying, ''Keep dreaming''. Then, the jellyfish dance all over the SpongeBuck SquarePants statue at its best.

'''''Night at The Krusty Katrina''''' 
In the final scene SpongeBuck and Pecos Patrick sing ''Idiot Friends'', meaning no matter how stupid they are, they're always friends.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*The title for this episode is a reference to the 1939 short comedy film "Pest from the West", starring Buster Keaton and the phrase "Best in the West".
*Pest of the West premiered on Monday, April 13 in the UK and in the US it premiered on Friday, April 11 at 8:00 p.m.
*The DVD was released after the episode's UK premiere on April 13.
*Dead Eye Plankton breaks the fourth wall by hitting the audience with the electric wire just before the intermission interruption.
*''Dead Eye'' is a parody of ''Red Eye''.
*Patrick's imitation of his famous relative and the story of how his relative became famous is a parody of Paul Revere.
*''The mollusks are coming!'' is a parody of Paul Revere's quote ''The British are coming!''
*SpongeBob's [[Sherm SquarePants|Uncle Sherm]] finally appears as a photo in SpongeBob's wallet, although his nose is more different.
*This is the second half-hour special full-length episode to have Mrs.Puff.
*Patrick doesn't have to accomplish anything in his life because his great ancestor already did it for him is not true. Patrick passed the Dirty Bubble Challenge of Paddleball as in [[Have You Seen This Snail?]] and he accomplished his great mission with SpongeBob to go bring back King Neptune's Crown from Shell City and free [[Bikini Bottom]] from [[Plankton]]'s evil Plan Z in [[The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie]]. Does that mean he accomplished anything?
*[[Dead Eye Gulch]] is a possible spoof of Deadwood Gulch, a town/area in South Dakota.
*This is the only [[SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Show)|SpongeBob SquarePants]] TV Movie that goes by its commercial title.
*The saloon piano is mentioned by the captions a few times, like "Rickety Saloon Piano Playing" and "Piano Vamps." They were both used for the song, "Idiot Friends".
*The Squeeze Tentacles is really named Hopalong Squidward (mentioned in the credits)

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Pest of the West]]

==Videos==
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4gLIVClbYE Yokel To Tough Guy Commercial]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zctwpQ5gt7Y&feature=related The Spurskate Commercial 1995]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUbIhQUvvjM&feature=related Saloon Door Sorrows Commercial]

{{Season5}}

{{Slogan}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 5]]

Episode Transcript: Squirrel Jokes

2009-01-30T01:01:09Z

70.18.13.169: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Pressure|Pressure]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Squirrel Jokes]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Scooter]]
*[[Dougie Williams]]
*[[Nancy]]
*[[Harold]]

==Dialogue==

(lights are circling outside the Krusty Krab. Inside, there is a sign hanging from the ceiling that says 'Komedy Krab') 

Mr. Krabs: Ok, everybody settle down. Welcome to the Komedy Krab! (puts an arrow on his eyes. Everyone laughs) Now please give
a warm welcome to our first comic, the indiscernible Dougie Williams! (Dougie walks onto the stage as Mr Krabs walks out)

Dougie Williams: Good evening, folks. I’m going to skip the jokes and get right to the part where I throw pies at you. (pulls
out a cart of pies. The crowd takes out their umbrellas. SpongeBob opens the curtain from behind and gets splattered with pie)
 

SpongeBob: (laughs) I hope I do as good as that guy.

Dougie Williams: (backstage) Man, those people will laugh at anything. Hey, don’t sweat it kid, I got them all worked up for
you. 

Mr. Krabs: Put your fins together for SpongeBob SquarePants! (SpongeBob walks out with a bowtie on) 

Sandy: Go get ‘em, SpongeBob! 

Patrick: (sitting at a table with Sandy) Whoo-hoo! (SpongeBob gives them a thumbs-up) 

SpongeBob: Hey, hey, hey ladies and jellyfish, have you ever noticed salt shakers? I mean, you fill them up every night at
closing, and I mean, where does it all go? Huh? You know what I mean? (no one laughs. Crickets are chirping) And tomatoes --
what’s the deal on those things? (chuckles weakly. Crowd is still silent) I mean, you chop them up into slices, but... What
are they, vegetables or...fruit? And what does that make ketchup? (chuckles weakly) 

Fish #1: Oh brother, this guy stinks! 

Harold: Hey, hey funny guy, I've got a joke for you! What smells rotten and puts people to sleep? 

SpongeBob: Umm, noxious gas? 

Harold: No! Your act! (everyone laughs) 

SpongeBob: Did you ever notice how, uhh... (notices a fork on a table) ...forks, uhh... 

Fish #3: Forks?! Come on! (crowd is booing) 

SpongeBob: (thinking) Quick, SpongeBob, make a witty observation! (looks around for material then notices Sandy's teeth) Did
you ever notice how big squirrels' front teeth are? (crowd chuckles) 

Fish: That's true. 

Sandy: Huh? 

SpongeBob: I mean, hey, you could land a plane on those things. (crowd laughs more) And what’s up with all that squirrel fur?
I guess fleas need a home too. (crowd laughs loud) 

Patrick: (laughing) Squirrel fur! 

SpongeBob: And they smell! But hey, you’d stink too if you spent three months buried in dirt. (crowd laughs) Hey, why does it
take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb? 

Fish #2: Why? 

SpongeBob: Because, they’re so darn stupid! (crowd laughs) 

Patrick: That’s a good one, huh, Sandy? 

Sandy: Uhh, y-yeah... (SpongeBob walks behind the curtain where Mr Krabs is waiting for him) 

Mr. Krabs: That was fantastic boy. You really knocked them out! I think I’ll do this joke night thing again with you as the
headliner! 

SpongeBob: I never thought I could be a headliner! Whatever that is. 

Mr. Krabs: The headliner’s the one who cleans up after the show. (hands SpongeBob a mop) 

SpongeBob: At least I don’t have to clean up my act! (laughs) 

Mr. Krabs: Stick with the squirrel jokes, boy. Now get busy. (walks off) 

SpongeBob: Mops, mops, mops, what’s up with those things? I mean, really. (walks up to Sandy) Oh hey, Sandy! 

Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Did you enjoy the show? 

Sandy: Well, ac-actually SpongeBob, no. Those jokes are hurtful and you know it. 

SpongeBob: Come on Sandy, I was just joking. I mean, everybody knows that you’re the smartest one in Bikini Bottom. 

Sandy: Well, I can’t argue with that. 

SpongeBob: We all gotta laugh at ourselves once in a while. I do it all the time! (holds up a mirror and laughs excessively
into it, Sandy chuckles) Sandy: You’re right, SpongeBob. I was being a little too sensitive. (both hug) No hard feelings.
(scene cuts to Sandy at Barg'N-Mart) Ok, deodorant. Huh, let’s see. Roll-on or stick? (a couple walks by) 

Fred: I think she should buy both. (laughs) 

Sandy: Huh? 

Scooter: Hey look guys! (it’s three kids, the one speaking is Scooter, the surfing dude) It’s the stupid squirrel! 

Fish #4: I know, let’s try to communicate with it.

All: Duh... (all walk off laughing) 

Sandy: Hmph! (throws the deodorant into the cart then walks up to a little kid) Hello, little critter! What’s your name? 

Mother: (grabs her child) Don’t stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You’ll catch its stupid. (walks off) 

Billy: Ok, mom. 

Sandy: Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one. (scene cuts to the Komedy Krab where everyone is chanting
for SpongeBob. SpongeBob is sitting at a desk preparing for his act) 

SpongeBob: La-la-la-la-la-la. Squirrely, squirrely, squirrely, squirrel. Because they're stupid. Because they're stupid. 

Sandy: Hey, uhh, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Sandy. 

Sandy: Umm, I need to talk to you about them squirrel jokes. 

SpongeBob: We already talked about that, remember? (looks in a mirror and laughs) 

Sandy: SpongeBob, this is serious. Since you’ve been telling them jokes, people have been treating me different. (Patrick
walks backstage) 

Patrick: SpongeBob, five minutes. (notices Sandy then talks slowly) Hel-lo...Sandy. Me Patrick. Do you un-der-stand? (Sandy
looks away) Squirrels. (walks off) 

Sandy: Y-y-you see? That’s what I’m talking about! 

SpongeBob: Ah, that’s just Patrick. He’s just fooling around. 

Sandy: I’m just asking you as a friend, please lay off them squirrel jokes, ok? Tell some of them other jokes you got. 

SpongeBob: (nervously) Other jokes? (imagines the fork joke) Bah! I got a million of them. 

Sandy: (hugs SpongeBob) Thanks SpongeBob, I knew you’d understand. (walks to her seat. The crowd is still chanting for
SpongeBob) 

Mr. Krabs: Put your fins together for SpongeBob SquarePants! (everyone cheers as SpongeBob walks out) 

SpongeBob: Uhh, hi. (chuckles nervously) Uhh, did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt? Now he’s a bronze fish.
(crowd is confused) I guess you heard that one. 

Sandy: I haven’t heard it! Good one, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Thank you, you’re too kind. Hey, what about this water! I mean, the stuff’s everywhere. 

Patrick: Tell the one about the squirrel and the light bulbs. 

SpongeBob: Uhh, hey, what about this thing! (takes out a big rubber chicken) Huh? Huh? 

Fish #5: Get on with the squirrel jokes! (crowd changes for squirrel jokes) 

SpongeBob: (thinking) What do I do? Who do I do? SpongeBob, you’ve got a choice to make: (looks at Sandy) your friends (looks
at his microphone) or your career. (drops the microphone and everyone gasps. He walks backstage then jumps back on stage with
hillbilly teeth) Howdy, y’all! (crowd cheers loudly) How come it takes more than one squirrel to screw in a light bulb?

All: Because they’re so darn stupid! 

SpongeBob: (laughs as he walks around tooting a bicycle horn) My people! (Sandy gets angry) But seriously folks, I want to
give a special thanks to my friend, Sandy. (spotlight on Sandy as the two women around her giggle) Sandy, don’t you see? The
crowd loves these jokes. Am I right? (crowd cheers) Don’t you see, Sandy? We’re laughing with you, not at you! Do you
understand now, Sandy? Huh, do you? 

Sandy: I understand everything that’s going on, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Great. I knew sooner or later you’d get it. What a great sport. Let’s give a big hand for Sandy! But clap slow
because remember, she’s a squirrel! (crowd is cheering their loudest) Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience, and uhh,
good night! (walks backstage) Ah...another spectacular performance, SpongeBob. (see a note taped to his mirror) Oh, what’s
this, a fan letter? (reads it) 

Sandy: (reading the letter) You were right SpongeBob! Those jokes are funny! Come on over to the treedome tomorrow and
celebrate, Sandy. 

SpongeBob: You did it SpongeBob. You get to keep your career and your friends. (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to the
treedome with his water helmet on and flowers in his hands. He knocks on the door as the water empties from the treedome) I’m
glad that Sandy can finally see the genius of my comedy. (door opens) Good morning, Sandy. (Sandy is dressed as a hillbilly
with flies floating around her) 

Sandy: Well, how-dee! 

SpongeBob: Sandy, are you feeling alright? 

Sandy: I’m just being my own au-naturally squirrelly self! (licks her teeth with her tongue. SpongeBob laughs nervously) Well
come on in! Y’all must be tired from telling them funny jokes all the time. Why don’t you take a load off! (pushes him onto a
log with glue on it) 

SpongeBob: Uhh, Sandy, I think something’s wrong with this seat. 

Sandy: Now, (holds up a brush and a bucket of glue) I just done put glue on it so you wouldn’t fall off. (gasps and grabs the
flowers that SpongeBob was holding) Are them flowers for me? You even done got me a vase! (takes SpongeBob’s water helmet off
his head) 

SpongeBob: But Sandy, that, that’s not a... (Sandy places the flowers in the water helmet) 

Sandy: A’int that purdy? 

SpongeBob: Sandy, I need wa... 

Sandy: Oh, that’s right. Youse a sea critter. Now what was that thing that sea critters need? Umm, uhh...let’s see, uhh... (a
big lump in her throat wiggles up and down) Sea critters need, uhh... 

SpongeBob: Wa... 

Sandy: Oh wait, don’t tell me. I know this one!

SpongeBob: Wa... 

Sandy: Wa...llet? Watch? Waffles?

SpongeBob: (hoarsely) Sandy! Water! 

Sandy: Well, why didn’t you just say so! (puts the end of a hose in SpongeBob's mouth) Yup, us squirrels sure is stupid.
(connects the other end of the hose to a pipe then turns it on. SpongeBob enlarges as more water enters into him) Dumb, dumb,
dumb, squirrels is dumb. 

SpongeBob: Ok Sandy, I get it! 

Sandy: What’s that? You want more? (connects to the end of the hose to a bigger pipe and turns it on) Okey-dokey! More water
for the sea-critter! (SpongeBob is still enlarging) 

SpongeBob: Ok Sandy, Ok! I get it! (SpongeBob is filled up every inch of the treedome) No more squirrel jokes. (scene cuts to
the Komedy Krab where the crowd is chanting for SpongeBob again) Thank you, thank you very much. Well, on my way over here, I ran into a squirrel. (winks at Sandy) And I said, “Hey, why don’t you go get a couple of squirrel friends and we’ll go change a light bulb.” (crowd laughs) But seriously folks, the only thing dumber than a squirrel is a sponge! (crowd is silent) I mean, we’re so dumb, we don’t even have a vertebrae! (twists himself) Look at me! I got no bones! 

Fish #6: That's true. (crowd laughs) 

SpongeBob: Krabs? Oh brother. They’re so cheap, they can’t even pay attention! 

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) It’s true, I am cheap! 

SpongeBob: Now let me tell you about those fish? Boy are they smelly. Whoo-hoo! I mean how can a creature that spends so much
time in the water smell so bad? I mean, really! (imitates a fish) Soap, soap, what is soap? (crowd laughs more. SpongeBob and
Sandy give each other a thumbs-up as the scene cuts to an outside view of the Krusty Krab) And don’t even get me started on
starfish!

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

{{Slogan}}

Best Frenemies (Episode)

2009-01-30T00:36:26Z

70.18.13.169: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:299px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:78b.jpg|300px]]</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Best Frenemies
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || 78b
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 31.3.2007
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 4
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[Born To Be Wild]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[The Pink Purloiner]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"

|}

'''"Best Frenemies"''' is an episode from [[Season 4]]

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[Plankton]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]] [[Image:Bestfrenemies.JPG|thumb|right|One of Plankton's plan's failures]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Karen]]
*[[Pearl]]
*[[KelpShake]] Customers and Employees
*[[Guard-Worm]]

===Places===
*[[Krusty Krab]]
*[[KelpShake]]
*[[Chum Bucket]]

==Plot==
The episode starts as a normal day at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs goes to talk to Squidward when he sees everyone is drinking a shake, including SpongeBob. He tells Mr. Krabs about the drink called the "Kelpshake." So Mr. Krabs starts worrying about his restaurant and goes to see what mood Plankton is in. He does not know what is going on because he was sunbathing. Then the two starts worrying and they notice Kelp statements are everywhere so they both try to steal a Kelp Shake and discover what it made of. They go to a Kelpshake and they form a queue. Mr. Krabs pretends to cough and throws Plankton to the kitchen but he crashes on a door. That night they both try to enter but an alarm wakes up a guard worm that attacks them.

The next day the both of them buy a KelpShake and go to the Chum Bucket to analyze what it is made. Karen starts analyzing, but Plankton gets impatient and interrupts the progress of the analyzer. Then, Plankton and Mr. Krabs try drinking the kelpshake. That midday, SpongeBob appears covered by light green kelp. Then all Kelp restaurants are closed because of being unhealthy. Two Decontaminants revealed that it will take decades to get rid of the unhealthy toxic waste and they are sorry for whoever drank this. Then Mr. Krabs and Plankton gets light green hairy kelp all over their bodies. So Mr. Krabs gives Plankton a [[Krabby Patty]] and then actually chases him out of boredom.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*The KelpShake store is ontop of the Chum Bucket
*This is the first time Mr. Krabs has interacted with Karen. He interacts with her again in [[Friend or Foe?]].
*The KelpShake buildings divide like bacteria and seem "contagious".
*The expression "frenemies" is inspired by Elizabeth Everitt's term of her crush Bailey Valint and her acquaintance Shane Griffin. She is a friend of the creator's daughter.
*This is the second episode where Mr. Krabs and Plankton become friends. The first time was in [[New Leaf]].
*[[Plankton]]'s first plan in this episode pariodied the Class of 3000 episode "Ow, my eye!"
*At the end, it parodies the Class of 3000 episode "Am I Blue?"
*This episode was originally going to be entitled "KelpShakes".
*This is the third episode where SpongeBob isn't a main character. The first 2 were [[SB-129]] and [[Plankton's Army]].
*The rapid expanding of the [[KelpShake]] franchise parodies the real life franchise Starbucks' Coffee.
*This the second time Bikini Bottom citizens or fish ever said dog, the first one was in Patty Hype, when there was a talking dog in the Shell Shack. Plankton said "Krabs, keep it down, you'll soil our plan if you wake the watchdog." Usually it's a worm instead, another dog was seen in Plankton! It was his lab, this was the only episode to have a real dog in it.
*The sentence Mr. Krabs said (Kelpshake, kelpshake. Oh how I love a kelpshake.) is similar to the quote (Tuesday,Tuesday.Oh I love a Tuesday...) in the show South Park in the episode Cartman Gets An Anal Probe and Cancelled.
*How would all these kelpshake resturants multiply, or how would they find employees for them so quickly after one forms and what is the point of one being on every corner?
*The Title Card music is actually a piece of backround music from the episodes [[Clams]] & [[Krabs vs. Plankton]].
*The "watch dog" (really, a worm) looks like the same worm in The Lost Mattress.

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Best Frenemies]]

==Video==
*[http://watchspongebobonline.com/spongebob-squarepants-season-4-episode-18-best-frenemies/ Best Frenemies Video]

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[[de:Beste Fr-einde (Episode)]]

Fungus Among Us (Episode)

2009-01-30T00:34:30Z

70.18.13.169: /* Trivia/Goofs */

{| border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1" align="right" style="margin-left:1em; background:#f0f0f0;width:299px;"
!colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:83c.jpg|300px]]</center>
|-
! colspan="2" | Fungus Among Us
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Episode No.: || 83c
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Airdate: || 29.9.2007
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Season: || Season 5
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Previous Episode: || [[Waiting]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
| Next Episode: || [[Spy Buddies]]
|- bgcolor="#ffffff"
|-

|}

'''"Fungus Among Us"''' is an episode from Season 5

==Info==
===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Gary]] [[Image:Krätzensponge.jpg|thumb|right|SpongeBob with [[The Ick]]]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
*Fish in [[Krusty Krab]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]
*S.W.A.T. Team

===Places===
*[[Krusty Krab]]
*[[SpongeBob's House]]

==Plot==
Gary is hungry and his food bowl is empty. He wakes up SpongeBob for his breakfast, and SpongeBob gives him Organic Healthy Snail Food, but Gary blows a raspberry and complains to SpongeBob about it. Soon, he finds a thing called [[The Ick]] and takes a bite. SpongeBob is angry with Gary when he realizes Gary is a picky eater and shoos Gary away from the ick. Soon, Patrick comes to SpongeBob and tries to help him get the ick off. Soon, SpongeBob cannott wash off the ick. SpongeBob goes to the Krusty Krab and tries to hide the green poo in his cap. Soon, it goes on his nose, then his arms, then his entire body. Squidward is terrified of SpongeBob's ick, and he calls the S.W.A.T. Team, where they arrive immediately and take him home. SpongeBob wipes off his head which drops a spark of green ick on Squidward.

When Squidward touches Old Man Jenkins' hand at the register for the change, Old Man Jenkins gets the green ick on his nose. Soon, Squidward is panicked about the green ick on his nose. Back at home, SpongeBob wakes up where the SWAT team has placed him in a bubble to help get the green ick off and Gary is trapped in a bubble too. Back at the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs is worried that SpongeBob is not flipping the Krabby Patties, and Squidward is driven to the kitchen. Squidward spreads the green ick to the Krabby Patties and French fries. After Squidward gives the customers the ick-contaminated food, the fish get a green ick on their skin.

Back at the pineapple, Patrick pops SpongeBob's bubble but blows him back a new bubble, which makes SpongeBob think that he can go back to work at the Krusty Krab. All the fish are angry when the green ick infects them and blames Krabs.
Mr. Krabs blames Squidward, then Squidward blames SpongeBob, and everybody tries to destroy SpongeBob's bubble. Gary manages to get to the Krusty Krab by the garbage but not before the entire bubble explodes and everybody is now covered in green ick infecting their skin. Soon, Gary eats all the green ick away! Mr. Krabs makes a $5.00 plus Krabby Patties charge to get the green ick eaten away. SpongeBob's green ick is now gone and everybody has their green ick away making the Krusty Krab back to normal.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*When SpongeBob opens the door, he is not wearing his underwear anymore and now his SquarePants.
*The green form is similar to the [[KelpShake]] reaction in [[Best Frenemies]].
*After everyone, was de-icked (Did not see that happen) it is possible that Mr. Krabs had thousands more dollars in his pocket.
*SpongeBob was wiped the fungus off the floor, then he started to scratch his head and the fungus only appeared on his head but not on his hands.
*The scientist from this episode has the same voice actor as [[Dr. Gill Gilliam]].
*"ich" is a real fungal infection which is highly dangerous to pet fish.
*It is naturally impossible for something to be flicked off than come back especially bigger. This is what happened to SpongeBob while at the Krusty Krab.
*Couldnt Spongebob just pull the giant mountain of ick off his head or pry it off?
*Even though it is mentioned in the title, the word "fungus" is not mentioned. Fungus is referred to as "the ick".

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: Fungus Among Us]]

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Episode Transcript: To Love A Patty

2009-01-30T00:31:54Z

70.18.13.169: /* '''Music:''' "Oh Baby" */

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Episode Article: [[To Love a Patty]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Patrick]]
*[[Sandy]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]

==Dialogue==

SpongeBob: (singing) Someday I'm gonna make you my sweetie. Not overtly, but sur-rep-titious-ly. Drum solo! (uses spatula as drum sticks) Dooga, dooga, dooga, dooga, dooga...doo. Doo, doo, doo, doo. Doo. Doo. Hey, looks like you guys and gals are done. (flips all the patties into the air then uses one of his special helmet gadgets to squirt ketchup and mustard on the patties. When the patties fall, they land on a bun that SpongeBob is holding. He then puts the lettuce and tomato and cheese on the patties) In all my years of fry cookery, I have never seen such a lovely group of patties. Especially...you. (points to a patty with tomatoes for eyes, a pickle for a nose, and mustard for a smile) Such perfection from your little lettuce hair to your rosy ketchup cheeks right down to your mustard smile. May I call you...Patty? 

Squidward: SpongeBob, I need that order of six. 

SpongeBob: Here you go, Squidward. One, two, and three, and four, and uh... five and six. (only gave Squidward five patties) That's it. That's the whole order, Squidward. There isn't a Krabby Patty behind my back or anything. (laughs) 

Squidward: Uh... yeah. 

SpongeBob: Oh, Patty, a patty like you comes around once in a lifetime. I can't let them eat you. No, the job must come first. I can't let emotions cloud my commitment to the sacred fry cook oath: "That which is fired, must be eaten." 

Squidward: SpongeBob, where is that other...oh, there it is. (SpongeBob looks out the kitchen door to see three muscular guys sitting at table, in which two of them are eating patties while the other one does not have one) 

Customer: Where's my Krabby Patty? 

Squidward: Right here, muscleboy. 

Customer: It's about time. (before he takes a bite, the patty sheds a tear) 

SpongeBob: (screams and grabs the patty) I won't let you do this to Patty. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, hand over the Krabby... 

SpongeBob: (sitting under the grill) Oh, Patty, I can't let them eat you. Your beauty must be preserved. (opens up the patty) Amazing. 

Squidward: (snickering) What are you gonna do with it, take it home? Put a little dress on it? Go out for a romantic walk with it? (snickers) 

SpongeBob: Great idea. (runs off) 

Squidward: (sighs) I wonder if it's too late to get a refund from my therapist. 

SpongeBob: (gives a krabby patty to the customer) Enjoy, sir. 

Customer: Can I eat this one? (lifts the top bun off to reveal a shoe in the burger) Hey, how'd they know? I loved grilled shoe. (cut to SpongeBob’s house where Patty is cooking on the grill) 

SpongeBob: What's cooking there, Patty? Oh, are you kidding? I love crepes. Oh, Patty, when we're together I feel like we're in our own little world like, like...nothing can hurt us. (small explosion) Fire! (alarm bell rings. SpongeBob pants)Fire! Fire! 

Gary: (by a fire extinguisher) Meow. (puts out the fire. SpongeBob stops panting) 

SpongeBob: It's ok, Patty, the fire's gone. You're safe now. (doorbell rings) Oh, I better, uh... get the doorbell. (opens up door)

Sandy: Hi-yah! (karate chops door open) Hey, SpongeBob, you didn't forget about our plan to go a-choppin', did ya? 

SpongeBob: Sorry, Sandy. No time for karate today. After our walk, I'm going for a rowboat ride with Patty. Just waiting for her to put on her makeup. You know how long it takes a Krabby Patty to get ready. 

Sandy: Well, that makes as much sense as a snake with no slither. Patties are put in the water for eatin', SpongeBob. Not for beboppin' all over Timbuktu. 

SpongeBob: (sighs) Patty. Yeah, well, you have fun with that. (walks out) Patty and I have to be on our way. 

Patrick: I've been replaced by a sandwich! (sobbs)

SpongeBob. (walks off. Cut to SpongeBob dancing with Patty and singing)

=='''Music:''' "[[Can't Keep My Eyes Off of You]]"==

Oh, baby
They may call me a fool
But I can't help our gravitational pull
When I stuff you with cotton candy
It reminds me you're so sweet
when we go riding, it's dandy
The way you hang on to that seat
Ba-ay-ay-by

When I'm with you our love is stronger than glue, wow oh baby
There isn't anything
There's nothing in the world, I wouldn't do for you

Hey let go you patty eaters no get away
hayah-hayah-watha-haya-haya-ta
wa-wawatawa-hayayayayaya!!!

Patty, you ok, sweetums?
I'm so...sorry
I'll never let you out of my sight again
And I'll always keep you out of harm's way...

Oh baby
Our love is so strong
That's why I'm singing this song
Ba-ay-ay-by

Your looks are sweeter than honey
From your pickles to your buns
It ain't even funny

I'm coming for you
Oh No.
Don't worry Patty!
I'll take care of this!
There you go
All better
Oh baby

==After the song==

SpongeBob: Oh, Patty. Do you realize what this signifies? Mm-hmm. That's right. It's our six-hour anniversary. And do you know what that means? Are you all right, Patty? You don't seem so hot. Don't worry, I know what'll make you feel better. A dinner at the finest restaurant in Bikini Bottom. (cut to Krusty Krab at night) 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Where the barnacles is our fry cook? He's been gone all day. That boy's never been a work shirker. We got a crowd of hungry customers waiting. 

Squidward: How should I know? Do I look like an idiot's keeper? 

Mr. Krabs: Well... actually... (doors open to SpongeBob in a tux) 

SpongeBob: Good day, sir. 

Squidward: As if on cue. 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what's with the fancy getup? 

SpongeBob: Oh, I just got gussied up for my special dinner date. 

Mr. Krabs: A dinner date? Well, blow me down, boy. I didn't know you had it in you. so when do we get to meet the little lady? (quietly) By the way, is she rich? 

SpongeBob: She's rich in taste. 

Squidward: How could you possibly date anyone? I mean look at you. She must be blind. 

Mr. Krabs: Ooh, a limousine. 

SpongeBob: There she is. 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I can just smell the money already. 

SpongeBob: (carrying in Patty) Here we are, darling. The best eatery in town. (walks by a couple eating and they sniff the odor in the air) 

Martha: Harold, again? 

Harold: Martha, I know what you're thinking. It's not me this time. 

Martha: Well, whatever it is, it's disgusting. 

Harold: Let's get out of here. 

Martha: Yuck. 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Squidward... allow me to introduce my date... Patty. 

Mr. Krabs: Your date's a Krabby Patty? Me thinks the boy's really lost it. 

Squidward: (sniffs the odor in the air) What's that putrid odor? 

Mr. Krabs: (sniffs) Oh, it's the Krabby Patty. What are you doin' with that rotten piece o' meat, boy? 

SpongeBob: This isn't a piece o' meat, Mr. Krabs. She's Patty. (quietly) And we're on a special date tonight so you don't mind if we get the "manager's treatment," do you? 

Mr. Krabs: Sorry, boy, no can do. 

SpongeBob: Oh, really? Mr. Fiver says different. (shows a five dollar bill) 

Mr. Krabs: What was that? I couldn't hear ya. 

SpongeBob: (gets out more money) How about now? 

Mr. Krabs: All right, take a seat. 

SpongeBob: (gets out a tiny throne seat for Patty) Here you go, my dear. A throne befitting a queen. Oh, good evening, monsieur. What might we have on the menu at this fine establishment? 

Squidward: Well, you should know considering the fact that you work here, sod for brains. Speaking of sods... why don't you get rid of this garbage? It's starting to stink up the joint. 

SpongeBob: Don't say such a thing, Squidward. Patty's just a little sick, is all. Wight, Lubbie-Wubbie? 

Squidward: I'll show you sick. (grabs patty) 

SpongeBob: Squidward, what are you doing with my beautiful patty? 

Squidward: Beautiful, huh? How beautiful do you think this is? (patty has worms in it and is gross) 

SpongeBob: Stop it, Squidward. Maybe you can't see Patty's beauty but to me she's the most gorgeous creature in the sea. 

Squidward: Well, I definitely see I can't help the mentally atrophied. Good-bye, Creature. 

SpongeBob: Pay you no mind to that, wubbie-wubbie. I will always love you... (sniffs) Yeah, what is that smell? (gasps) Patty? (drops the krabby patty on the table) What happened to you? 

Mr. Krabs: I think I can explain, boy. There was a time when I was in love, too. She was a Krabby Patty that looked a lot like yours does. (rotten tomatoes fall out of the patty) Well, maybe not right now, but you know what I mean. She was a firm, juicy, a warm patty. And attractive- oh, she looked good enough to eat. So...I did. do you hear what I'm sayin' to you, boy? 

SpongeBob: Um, not quite, Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patties are meant to be loved and eaten. That's what they're put in the ocean for. And it looks like yours is way past due. 

SpongeBob: I see now. I see what I must do. (jumps up on the table) Oh, Patty, my darling. Before I do this, I want you to know that I only do it out of love. (chews it) 

Mr. Krabs: Well done, boy. As a reward for your valiant effort, I'll only charge you 25 cents for the patty. Employee discount. 

SpongeBob:(Almost puking,holding his mouth for a while) Can I get a doggy bag with that?

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