SpongePedia - User contributions [en]

Episode Transcript: The Camping Episode

2016-09-20T00:01:29Z

75.172.62.156: CJ

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Helden beim Zelten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Krabby Land|Krabby Land]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Missing Identity|Missing Identity]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Camping Episode (Episode)|The Camping Episode]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Seas Bears]]
*[[Seas Rhino]]

==Dialogue==

==Squidward's House==
Squidward: Ah, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just ''any'' old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. (gestures at "Dance Quarterly" calendar at a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick on the calendar) Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back? 

SpongeBob: (in Squidward's thought bubble) Patrick, I'm scared! 

Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great! (gets in bed) You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no… (imitates SpongeBob's laugh. When he stops, he can hear SpongeBob's laughter) What the…?!

==Conch Street==
Squidward: (goes outside and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in a tent in his backyard) SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping? 

SpongeBob: We are camping. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house. 

SpongeBob: Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Ok. Have fun inside. (Squidward leaves then comes back) 

Squidward: What do you mean, "have fun inside"? 

SpongeBob: Just…have fun inside. See you tomorrow. 

Squidward: Oh. Bye. (leaves then comes back again) You little sneak! I see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? 

Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? Mr. Krabs 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Went the of on Squidward?

Squidward: You're saying I can't take it! 

SpongeBob: But all I… 

Squidward: AH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little "have fun inside" challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it! (leaves) 

SpongeBob: Ok. ''Have fun inside Mr. Krabs''. (Squidward comes back and yells at them) 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward?

Squidward: '''That's it! I'm in!''' I'll show you camping! (runs inside his house) 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Squidward's gonna come camping with us! (both giggle while Squidward comes back with a big backpack on) 

Squidward: Now you'll see how a real… (falls forward into the sand from the heavy backpack) ...outdoorsman does it! (crawls out from under the backpack and gets out a cylinder looking bag) Here we are-- my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn. (SpongeBob takes out binoculars while Patrick gets out a notepad and a pair glasses. Squidward throws the bag in the air then gets out the remote and pushes the button. The bag explodes and the tent, sticks, and rope fall on the ground) 

SpongeBob: That was great, Squidward! But how do you get inside? 

Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking. 

Squidward: It isn't '''''put up''''' yet, you idiots. (starts to mess with his tent but tears it) Huh? 

SpongeBob: Customization. 

Patrick: Genius! 

Mr. Krabs: Went oh of on Squidward

Squidward (beating the tent with a wooden stake) Bah! bah! bah! 

SpongeBob: He's tenderizing the ground! 

Patrick: Of course! (Squidward gets tangled in the rope) 

SpongeBob: Write that down!! Write that down!! (Patrick is playing tic-tac-toe instead of writing notes. Squidward kicks the pile of things and it magically becomes a tent) 

Squidward: Huh? Voila. (the tent collapses so Squidward rolls it up out of the way and brings back a sleeping bag) But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? (SpongeBob and Patrick applaud) Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right? 

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Nope, we've got something even better--Marshmallows. (takes out a bag of marshmallows and eats one) Mmm-mm. Just like the astronauts eat. (Patrick has a fishbowl over his head and he imitates static, like an astronaut) 

Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over. (SpongeBob has a fishbowl over his head and imitates static as well) 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over. 

Patrick: (imitates static) Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going. (imitates static) Over. 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick. (imitates static) Me too. (both imitate static back and forth for a bit while Squidward stares vacantly at them) 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself. Over. 

Mr. Krabs: Patrick!

Patrick: (grabs a marshmallow) Yummy! (takes the marshmallow and jams it in his mouth, through the fishbowl, breaking it) Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed! 

Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls.... (holds up the can in his hand) just as soon as I can get my can opener Mr. Krabs. 

Mr. Krabs: But rocks i a SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here? 

Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house. 

SpongeBob: But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit. 

Patrick: ''Pretty weenie''. 

Squidward: All right. All right. Gimme a marshmallow. (Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face. Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face again. The third shot Squidward avoids and laughs. The marshmallow flies back into Squidward's head) Ok. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun? 

Mr. Krabs: marshmallow.

SpongeBob: Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.

Mr. Krabs: campfire song.

Music: "[[The Campfire Song Song]]"
I call this one "The Campfire Song Song".

Let's gather 'round the campfire
And sing our campfire song
Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.....
Patrick: Bum! bum! bum!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.... Sing another song....

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
Patrick!
SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Squidward! (silence) Good!
SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Mr. Krabs! Good!

It'll help…it'll help…
If you just sing along!
'''OH YEAH!!!'''

SpongeBob: Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing? 

Mr. Krabs: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, No Squidward

Squidward: No! This is relaxing. (holds up his clarinet and plays "Michael, Row The Board Ashore") 

SpongeBob: Oh no! I'll save you, Squidward! (picks up a marshmallow and uses a slingshot to shoot in the clarinet and into Squidward's throat) Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better? 

Squidward: '''Better?! I was fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!''' 

SpongeBob: But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract…(whispers)a sea bear. 

Squidward: A sea bear? You mean like the ones that '''DON'T EXIST?!''' 

SpongeBob: What are you saying? 

Mr. Krabs: What are you saying? Squidward!

Squidward: There's no such thing! They're just a myth! 

SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the ''Bikini Bottom Inquirer''! (holds up the magazine) 

Mr. Krabs: Friend Squidward!

Squidward: (reads cover) "''I Married a Sea Bear''" ? 

Mr. Krabs: Patrick

Patrick: Yeah, and ''Fake Science Monthly''! (holds up the magazine) 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward!

Squidward: (reads cover) "Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! 

Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, '''''but it's also dumb'''''! 

SpongeBob: Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin… 

Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away? 

SpongeBob: Ok, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet. 

Squidward: Okay. Then what? 

Spongebob: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast. 

Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey. 

Mr. Krabs: Never Okay. Then what? Squidward?

Squidward: You're kidding. 

SpongeBob: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge. 

Mr. Krabs: Patrick's Butt Egg Don't!

Patrick: Yeah. 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward Don't Chicken McNuggets!

Squidward: Go on. 

SpongeBob: Don't ever eat cheese. 

Mr. Krabs: Dont's Egg Cheese Milk King:

Squidward: Sliced or cubed? (SpongeBob & Patrick converse quietly to each other) 

SpongeBob: Cubed; sliced is fine. 

Mr. Krabs: Don't Patrick Egg!

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and? 

SpongeBob: Never wear a sombrero- 

Mr. Krabs: Never goofy a Squidward and Patrick and SpongeBob

Patrick: -in a goofy fashion! 

SpongeBob: Or clown shoes. 

Patrick: Or a hoop skirt. 

SpongeBob: And never 

Mr. Krabs: Never… 

Patrick: Ever… 

SpongeBob: Ever… 

Patrick: Duh! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!!''''' 

Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off. (Spongebob and Patrick are holding each other in terror)

SpongeBob & Patrick: They're horrible! 

Squidward: And… and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Why? 

Squidward: I don't know… (runs off and comes back wearing all the items mentioned from before) '''Just a feeling'''!! 

SpongeBob: No. 

Mr. Krabs: Out Voice Squidward

Squidward: Yes. 

SpongeBob: No! (Squidward begins making monkey & chimp noises)''U!''UHUHU!'' 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!''''''

Squidward : (continues to do whatever it takes to get a sea bear's attention)''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear is sure to come over and eat us! (cries) 

Mr. Krabs & Squidward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt. (grabs a stick and draws a circle around both of them) 

Squidward: (continues to do screeching like a chimpanzee) ''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh!

Mr. Krabs: Patrick Out of Camp

Patrick: Good thinking! (Holds up another issue of ''Fake Science Monthly'') All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack. 

Squidward: (ends to screeching) Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! (laughs) Ha! ha! ha! You guys are so gullible! See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened! If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up? 

SpongeBob: Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion. 

Squidward: Oh, pfft, sorry! How silly of me! You mean like this? (Squidward tilts his sombrero to the right then laughs. As he is laughing, a clawed fin turns the sombrero upside-down) Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!... 

SpongeBob: No, like that. 

Mr. Krabs: Bears

Seabear: Grrrrrrrr! 

Squidward: ''AAAAAAAH!'' 

Seabear: '''GROOOOOAAAAAR!''' 

Squidward: Uaaaaaaah! 
(run)

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(attack Squidward)

Mr. Krabs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Squidward!

SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back. 

Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once. 

Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: No! 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(come back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: Don't run! Sea bears hate that! 

Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''NOOOOOOO!!!''''' 

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: They hate limping more than running! 

Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have… 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: I should have warned you about crawling.
Seabear: Grrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

Squidward: What happened that time? 

SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.

Patrick: '''''Pretend to be somebody else!!!''''' 

SpongeBob: Here, draw a circle. (throws Squidward a stick) 

Squidward: Ok. 

Seabear: Grrrr! (comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: That was an oval! It has to be a circle! 

Squidward: '''''Move over!''''' 
(runs and sits on top of SpongeBob, inside the circle)

Seabear: Grrrr! (sees the circle, points menacingly at Squidward, then leaves)

Squidward: Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life. 

All: Hooray,hooray,hooray! 

SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea '''rhinoceros'''. 

Squidward: What attracts them? 

Mr. Krabs: Patrick

Patrick: ''The sound of a sea bear attack''. (a large fish with a rhinoceros' head and armor is snorting beside them) 

SpongeBob: Heh, good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments, right, Squidward? 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward!

Squidward: (in fear) Uh-huh.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Atlantis SquarePantis (Episode)

2016-09-19T23:50:31Z

75.172.62.156: CJ

{{EpInfo|Atlantis SquarePantis|Atlantis SquarePantis.jpg|92, Movie|Season 5|12.11.2007|Le Big Switch|Picture Day}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
! colspan="2" |<center>[[Image:Bubble.jpg|300px]]</center>SpongeBob and Patrick with the first bubble ever © Viacom
|-
|}

'''Atlantis SquarePantis''' is a TV movie from [[Episodes/Season 5|Season 5]].

==Info==

===Characters===
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[The Oldest Living Bubble|The World's Oldest Living Bubble]]
*[[Lord Royal Highness]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Eugene]]
*[[Gary]]'s Snail Friends
*[[SpongeGar]] (cameo)
*[[Patar]] (cameo)
*[[Squog]] (cameo)
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
*[[The Three Aliens]] (debut)
*[[Reggaeton Group|Reggaeton Group]]
*[[Ghetto Playerz|Ghetto Playerz]]
*[[J. Alvarez|J. Alvarez]]
*[[Jellyfish Fields]]
*[[Jellyfish Cave|Cave]]
*[[Bikini Bottom]] Museum
*[[Atlantis]]

===Songs===
*[[I Will Try (Song)|I Will Try]]
*[[Our Favorite Things (Song)|Our Favorite Things]]
*I'm Patrick
*[[All This Money (Song)|All This Money]]
*[[The Germ Warrior (Song)|The Germ Warrior]]
*[[So Many Weapons (Song)|So Many Weapons]]
*[[Pick up a Pencil (Song)|Pick up a Pencil]]
*[[Nadie Lo Puede Ingualar (Silencio) / The Best Day Ever|Nadie Lo Puede Ingualar (Silencio)/The Best Day Ever]]
*[[Goofy Goober Theme Song (Song)|Goofy Goober Theme Song]]
*[[Rompe (Song)|Rompe]]
*[[Goofy Goober Remix (Song)|Goofy Goober Remix]]
*[[Goofy Goober Remix International (Song)|Goofy Goober Remix International]]
*[[Heigh-Ho (Song)|Heigh-Ho]]
*[[Back in Encino (Song)|Back in Encino]]
*[[Goodbye Atlantis (Song)|Goodbye Atlantis]]

==Places==
*[[Encino]]
*[[Krusty Krbs]]
*[[Patchy's House]]

==Plot==
SpongeBob and Patrick are in Jellyfish Fields blowing bubbles. Patrick tries to take pictures of the bubbles, but cannot as the camera is too slow. Patrick blames the camera and stomps on it, but SpongeBob says it is not the camera's fault, then accidentally blows a bubble and gets them both stuck inside it. SpongeBob and Patrick start screaming for help, unaware that the bubble has carried them into a cave, miles from Bikini Bottom. The bubble bursts on what appears to be half of the Atlantean Amulet. SpongeBob notices the letters "ANTIS" on the side. Patrick concludes that the amulet probably belonged to SpongeBob's ancestors, thinking their last name may have been "SquarePantis." They travel to the museum to find out what it is.

Later, Squidward, who had been visiting the museum at the time, accuses SpongeBob and Patrick of stealing the Atlantian Amulet as he saw the half SpongeBob was holding. He then realizes, as he sees that the amulet is still on its platform, that SpongeBob must have found the missing half, which had been lost for eons. Sandy, who was at the museum as well, says that when the two pieces are joined together, the path to Atlantis is revealed. As Squidward discusses that history of Atlantis, Mr. Krabs joins them, after performing an unsuccessful scam earlier, thus bringing the group together. Squidward joins the two halves, as they are all very eager to see Atlantis.

A van then falls from the sky, which is the key to Atlantis. However, the automated computer aboard says that "song fuel" is required in order for them to move. As everyone sings to make the bus move, with SpongeBob singing about the World's oldest living bubble in Atlantis, Mr. Krabs about money, Sandy about science, and Squidward about Art, they unfortunately do not realize Plankton is on the bus, intending to use Atlantis's superior weapons, on them, and the Atlanteans to become king of the city. Everybody sings about what they want to see in Atlantis, but this is ruined by Patrick, when he interrupts Squidward's musical number. They crash land in Atlantis on a topiary garden, and the king, Lord Royal Highness, gives them a tour of the Atlantean Empire. As they pass the door to the weapons arsenal, Plankton sneaks in and marvels at the hundreds of weapons. As they travel into the treasure, science, and art rooms, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Squidward respectively decide they want to stay in Atlantis as one room had more than anything they could ever get in Bikini Bottom.
[[Image:Atlantis.jpg|thumb|Atlantis © Viacom]] SpongeBob and Patrick, however, only wished to see the world's oldest bubble, which was kept safe in a glass container. Lord Royal Highness leaves them alone in the room so that he could prepare dinner for them. However, disaster strikes when Patrick takes a picture of the bubble and it pops. At dinner, SpongeBob and Patrick, terrified as to what will happen when Lord Royal Highness finds out, admit they popped the bubble, ready to receive their punishment.

Lord Royal Highness, on the other hand, is not mad and says that the bubble they popped was only a tourist attraction. He shows them the real deal, and Patrick takes a picture, thus popping the real bubble. The group is chased by the furious guards and LRH, when Plankton intervenes and tries to destroy them with a tank he found, which really only fires ice cream. LRH picks up Plankton, saying that a "talking speck" would make a much better replacement for the bubble.As soon the group left, The LRH told one of the guard's to get rid of the coin so, they can never come back. Then he said. "I thought sponges were supposed to make life easier." The group then goes back home and everyone except SpongeBob crys because they wanted to stay in Atlantis.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*The title card music is the main title from Lawrence of Arabia, composed and performed by Maurice Jarre.
*[[Guest Stars|David Bowie]] guest voices as Lord Royal Highness.
*When Squidward is singing his song, you see [[SpongeGar]], [[Patar]], and [[Squog]] for a short time.
*The Sandy germ-fighting scene is a reference to many video games, including:
**Dance Dance Revolution series
**Super Mario Bros. (warp pipe)
**Dr. Mario
**Bubble Bobble
**Street Fighter (logo)
**This marks the first appearance of The Three Aliens.
*Squidward saying Atlantis’s streets are made of gold and the lamps are made of diamonds is a reference to the afterlife in Heaven where the Bible says that Heaven’s streets are made of Gold, and the Gates are made of Pearls.
*The drawing of the people from Atlantis is very similar to the drawings on The Beatles' movie Yellow Submarine.
*This is the first 60 minute episode/TV movie.
*SpongeBob dropped his bubble-blowing wand when he discovered that he and Patrick were inside the bubble, floating away. In the next shot, however, it is gone.
*The word „Atlantis“ engraved into the amulet is first seen at the top of the amulet, but all shots shot after the amulet is joined together show the writing on the bottom left side of the amulet.
*This episode has the most songs total with 8 songs.
*There are no female Atlanteans. Atlanteans may have no gender.
*Squidward was in many famous artworks:
**American Gothic
**The Persistence of Memory
**The Eiffel Tower
**The Creation of Adam
**Duchamp's urinal
**Nighthawks
**Cubist work
**Surrealist work
**Van Gogh's Starry Night
**Venice Italy
*Atlanteans are probably aliens. L.R.H. mentions a mother planet in the scene with destroying of the bubble.
*The premiere of this episode drew 8 million views. The highest amount of views in there 15 year history.
*The German Title means „SpongeBob's Atlantic Adventure“.
*Lord Royal Highness calls Sandy "Sandra" during the dining scene.
*Sandy has used Squidward as a gun, Patrick as a Boomerang, SpongeBob as a shield and Mr. Krabs a grass cutter, which inspired the many combat moves in the Atlantis Squarepantis Game for the Nintendo DS.
*The plot of 5 sea creatures going into a Paradise is a reference on „Charlie and the Chocolate Factory“.
*Notice in the beginning of the germ-fighting scene, the words, NICKELODEON 1991 are seen at the bottom.
*This is the only episode/TV movie where Atlantis is futuristic. In other episodes, it looks like Mount Olympus in Greece.
*[[Patchy]] misses Encino a lot in this episode.
*Patchy's dial tone is the end of the SpongeBob Theme.
*Patchy starts the episode stuck in traffic. But when he think's he's home at last, [[Encino]] is Gone!
*When Squidward jumped in the paintings it's similar to 1996 Nintendo 64 game Super Mario 64 and its DS sequel, Super Mario 64 DS.
*When Patchy said "Uh oh, here come the hallucinations," how did he not know that Encino was still gone?
*This is the 1st time Patchy meets SpongeBob. The 2nd time was [[Truth or Square?]]
*Despite being dubbed to Hebrew in the studios, this episode was forbidden to be broadcast in Israel due to either copyright issues or negative feedback.

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Atlantis SquarePantis|Transcript for Atlantis SquarePantis]]

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 5]]
[[de:SpongeBobs atlantisches Abenteuer (Episode)]]

==See Also==
*[[Atlantis SquarePantis (DVD)]]
*[[Atlantis]]
*[[Atlantean Amulet]]

{{Movies}}
{{Season5}}
[[de:SpongeBobs atlantisches Abenteuer (Episode)]]

Night Light (Episode)

2016-09-18T18:25:47Z

75.172.62.156: CJ

{{EpInfo|Night Light|82b.jpg|82b|5/2007|30 July 2007|The Original Fry Cook|Rise and Shine}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Gary|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Sandy Cheeks|Carolyn Lawrence}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|- bgcolor="ffffff"
|colspan="2"|[[Image:Crying.jpg|center|300px]]
|}

'''"Night Light"''' is an episode of [[Season 5]].

==Plot==
[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] reads a scary book before going to sleep, and develops a fear of the dark. He goes to work the next day, but his fear gets so intense that he screams whenever he blinks because he sees darkness. [[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]], worried for SpongeBob, sends him to buy a night light at the [[Barg'n Mart]]. SpongeBob buys more night lights than he needs to for all the dark places in his house. [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] wakes up and marches over to [[SpongeBob's house]], only to have SpongeBob convince him to be afraid of the dark. [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] pushes his rock into [[SpongeBob's house]] to sleep in the light, thus creating a massive dark hole in the wall. They buy more lights, which wake up [[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]. A light shaped like an M also alerts [[Mermaid Man]] and [[Barnacle Boy]]. There is no danger until [[The Moth]], which MM and BB have been trying to find for 57 years, comes by. [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] traps it in a lighthouse that he and Patrick had pushed into his home. But then he flies away, carrying the lighthouse and [[SpongeBob's house]] away with it. When morning comes, [[Patrick Star|Patrick]] runs to the sun for more light, but flees because he caught on fire.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*If SpongeBob could connect night lights on every foot of his wall, it would mean that his walls would have outlets everywhere, yet it is not shown in any other episodes.
*[[Pinky's Dance Studio]] is in this episode. It may be [[P!nk|Pink]]'s.
*This is the second episode to have Tom Kenny's face appear. The first was in Karate Choppers, where his face was superimposed on a drop of hot sauce.
*When [[SpongeBob]] was flickering his lights and screaming, how come [[Squidward]] didn't complain?
* [[Gary]] has a tail light plug in. However it isn't seen until [[SpongeBob]] plugs in all the night lights.
* The night lights seem to cost one dollar a light.
* [[SpongeBob]] can somehow afford all of the night lights but in [[Life of Crime]] his bank at the end of the rainbow is empty.

==Cast==
*[[Tom Kenny]] as [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]], [[Gary]]
*[[Bill Fagerbakke]] as[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Clancy Brown]] as [[Mr.Krabs]]
*[[Rodger Bumpass]][[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Ernest Borgnine]] as[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Tim Conway]] as[[Barnacle Boy]]
*[[Mark Hamil]] as[[The Moth]]
*[[Dee Bradley Baker]] as [[Saleslady]]

==Transcript==
[[Episode Transcript: Night Light|Transcript for Night Light]]

{{Season7}}
{{MM&BB}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 7]]
[[Category:Mermaidman & Barnacleboy]]
[[de:Das Nachtlicht (Episode)]]

Episode Transcript: The Camping Episode

2016-09-18T18:15:34Z

75.172.62.156: CJ

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Helden beim Zelten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Krabby Land|Krabby Land]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Missing Identity|Missing Identity]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Camping Episode (Episode)|The Camping Episode]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Seas Bears]]
*[[Seas Rhino]]

==Dialogue==

==Squidward's House==
Squidward: Ah, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just ''any'' old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. (gestures at "Dance Quarterly" calendar at a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick on the calendar) Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back? 

SpongeBob: (in Squidward's thought bubble) Patrick, I'm scared! 

Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great! (gets in bed) You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no… (imitates SpongeBob's laugh. When he stops, he can hear SpongeBob's laughter) What the…?!

==Conch Street==
Squidward: (goes outside and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in a tent in his backyard) SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping? 

SpongeBob: We are camping. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house. 

SpongeBob: Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Ok. Have fun inside. (Squidward leaves then comes back) 

Squidward: What do you mean, "have fun inside"? 

SpongeBob: Just…have fun inside. See you tomorrow. 

Squidward: Oh. Bye. (leaves then comes back again) You little sneak! I see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? 

Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? Mr. Krabs 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Went the of on Squidward?

Squidward: You're saying I can't take it! 

SpongeBob: But all I… 

Squidward: AH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little "have fun inside" challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it! (leaves) 

SpongeBob: Ok. ''Have fun inside Mr. Krabs''. (Squidward comes back and yells at them) 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward?

Squidward: '''That's it! I'm in!''' I'll show you camping! (runs inside his house) 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Squidward's gonna come camping with us! (both giggle while Squidward comes back with a big backpack on) 

Squidward: Now you'll see how a real… (falls forward into the sand from the heavy backpack) ...outdoorsman does it! (crawls out from under the backpack and gets out a cylinder looking bag) Here we are-- my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn. (SpongeBob takes out binoculars while Patrick gets out a notepad and a pair glasses. Squidward throws the bag in the air then gets out the remote and pushes the button. The bag explodes and the tent, sticks, and rope fall on the ground) 

SpongeBob: That was great, Squidward! But how do you get inside? 

Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking. 

Squidward: It isn't '''''put up''''' yet, you idiots. (starts to mess with his tent but tears it) Huh? 

SpongeBob: Customization. 

Patrick: Genius! 

Mr. Krabs: Went oh of on Squidward

Squidward (beating the tent with a wooden stake) Bah! bah! bah! 

SpongeBob: He's tenderizing the ground! 

Patrick: Of course! (Squidward gets tangled in the rope) 

SpongeBob: Write that down!! Write that down!! (Patrick is playing tic-tac-toe instead of writing notes. Squidward kicks the pile of things and it magically becomes a tent) 

Squidward: Huh? Voila. (the tent collapses so Squidward rolls it up out of the way and brings back a sleeping bag) But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? (SpongeBob and Patrick applaud) Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right? 

SpongeBob: Nope, we've got something even better--Marshmallows. (takes out a bag of marshmallows and eats one) Mmm-mm. Just like the astronauts eat. (Patrick has a fishbowl over his head and he imitates static, like an astronaut) 

Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over. (SpongeBob has a fishbowl over his head and imitates static as well) 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over. 

Patrick: (imitates static) Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going. (imitates static) Over. 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick. (imitates static) Me too. (both imitate static back and forth for a bit while Squidward stares vacantly at them) 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself. Over. 

Patrick: (grabs a marshmallow) Yummy! (takes the marshmallow and jams it in his mouth, through the fishbowl, breaking it) Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed! 

Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls.... (holds up the can in his hand) just as soon as I can get my can opener. 

SpongeBob: But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here? 

Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house. 

SpongeBob: But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit. 

Patrick: ''Pretty weenie''. 

Squidward: All right. All right. Gimme a marshmallow. (Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face. Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face again. The third shot Squidward avoids and laughs. The marshmallow flies back into Squidward's head) Ok. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun? 

SpongeBob: Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.

Mr. Krabs: campfire song.

Music: "[[The Campfire Song Song]]"
I call this one "The Campfire Song Song".

Let's gather 'round the campfire
And sing our campfire song
Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.....
Patrick: Bum! bum! bum!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.... Sing another song....

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
Patrick!
SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Squidward! (silence) Good!
SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Mr. Krabs! Good!

It'll help…it'll help…
If you just sing along!
'''OH YEAH!!!'''

SpongeBob: Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing? 

Mr. Krabs: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, No Squidward

Squidward: No! This is relaxing. (holds up his clarinet and plays "Michael, Row The Board Ashore") 

SpongeBob: Oh no! I'll save you, Squidward! (picks up a marshmallow and uses a slingshot to shoot in the clarinet and into Squidward's throat) Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better? 

Squidward: '''Better?! I was fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!''' 

SpongeBob: But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract…(whispers)a sea bear. 

Squidward: A sea bear? You mean like the ones that '''DON'T EXIST?!''' 

SpongeBob: What are you saying? 

Squidward: There's no such thing! They're just a myth! 

SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the ''Bikini Bottom Inquirer''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "''I Married a Sea Bear''" ? 

Patrick: Yeah, and ''Fake Science Monthly''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! 

Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, '''''but it's also dumb'''''! 

SpongeBob: Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin… 

Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away? 

SpongeBob: Ok, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet. 

Squidward: Okay. Then what? 

Spongebob: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast. 

Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey. 

Squidward: You're kidding. 

SpongeBob: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge. 

Patrick: Yeah. 

Squidward: Go on. 

SpongeBob: Don't ever eat cheese. 

Squidward: Sliced or cubed? (SpongeBob & Patrick converse quietly to each other) 

SpongeBob: Cubed; sliced is fine. 

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and? 

SpongeBob: Never wear a sombrero- 

Mr. Krabs: Never goofy a Squidward and Patrick and SpongeBob

Patrick: -in a goofy fashion! 

SpongeBob: Or clown shoes. 

Patrick: Or a hoop skirt. 

SpongeBob: And never… 

Patrick: Ever… 

SpongeBob: Ever… 

Patrick: Duh! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!!''''' 

Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off. (Spongebob and Patrick are holding each other in terror)

SpongeBob & Patrick: They're horrible! 

Squidward: And… and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Why? 

Squidward: I don't know… (runs off and comes back wearing all the items mentioned from before) '''Just a feeling'''!! 

SpongeBob: No. 

Mr. Krabs: Out Voice Squidward

Squidward: Yes. 

SpongeBob: No! (Squidward begins making monkey & chimp noises)''U!''UHUHU!'' 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!''''''

Squidward : (continues to do whatever it takes to get a sea bear's attention)''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear is sure to come over and eat us! (cries) 

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt. (grabs a stick and draws a circle around both of them) 

Squidward: (continues to do screeching like a chimpanzee) ''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh!

Mr. Krabs: Patrick Out of Camp

Patrick: Good thinking! (Holds up another issue of ''Fake Science Monthly'') All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack. 

Squidward: (ends to screeching) Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! (laughs) Ha! ha! ha! You guys are so gullible! See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened! If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up? 

SpongeBob: Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion. 

Squidward: Oh, pfft, sorry! How silly of me! You mean like this? (Squidward tilts his sombrero to the right then laughs. As he is laughing, a clawed fin turns the sombrero upside-down) Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!... 

SpongeBob: No, like that. 

Seabear: Grrrrrrrr! 

Squidward: ''AAAAAAAH!'' 

Seabear: '''GROOOOOAAAAAR!''' 

Squidward: Uaaaaaaah! 
(run)

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(attack Squidward)

SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back. 

Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once. 

Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: No! 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(come back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: Don't run! Sea bears hate that! 

Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''NOOOOOOO!!!''''' 

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: They hate limping more than running! 

Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have… 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: I should have warned you about crawling.
Seabear: Grrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

Squidward: What happened that time? 

SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.

Patrick: '''''Pretend to be somebody else!!!''''' 

SpongeBob: Here, draw a circle. (throws Squidward a stick) 

Squidward: Ok. 

Seabear: Grrrr! (comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: That was an oval! It has to be a circle! 

Squidward: '''''Move over!''''' 
(runs and sits on top of SpongeBob, inside the circle)

Seabear: Grrrr! (sees the circle, points menacingly at Squidward, then leaves)

Squidward: Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life. 

All: Hooray,hooray,hooray! 

SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea '''rhinoceros'''. 

Squidward: What attracts them? 

Patrick: ''The sound of a sea bear attack''. (a large fish with a rhinoceros' head and armor is snorting beside them) 

SpongeBob: Heh, good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments, right, Squidward? 

Squidward: (in fear) Uh-huh.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: The Camping Episode

2016-09-18T18:07:54Z

75.172.62.156:

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Helden beim Zelten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Krabby Land|Krabby Land]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Missing Identity|Missing Identity]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Camping Episode (Episode)|The Camping Episode]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Seas Bears]]
*[[Seas Rhino]]

==Dialogue==

==Squidward's House==
Squidward: Ah, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just ''any'' old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. (gestures at "Dance Quarterly" calendar at a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick on the calendar) Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back? 

SpongeBob: (in Squidward's thought bubble) Patrick, I'm scared! 

Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great! (gets in bed) You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no… (imitates SpongeBob's laugh. When he stops, he can hear SpongeBob's laughter) What the…?!

==Conch Street==
Squidward: (goes outside and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in a tent in his backyard) SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping? 

SpongeBob: We are camping. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house. 

SpongeBob: Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Ok. Have fun inside. (Squidward leaves then comes back) 

Squidward: What do you mean, "have fun inside"? 

SpongeBob: Just…have fun inside. See you tomorrow. 

Squidward: Oh. Bye. (leaves then comes back again) You little sneak! I see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? 

Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? Mr. Krabs 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Went the of on Squidward?

Squidward: You're saying I can't take it! 

SpongeBob: But all I… 

Squidward: AH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little "have fun inside" challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it! (leaves) 

SpongeBob: Ok. ''Have fun inside Mr. Krabs''. (Squidward comes back and yells at them) 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward?

Squidward: '''That's it! I'm in!''' I'll show you camping! (runs inside his house) 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Squidward's gonna come camping with us! (both giggle while Squidward comes back with a big backpack on) 

Squidward: Now you'll see how a real… (falls forward into the sand from the heavy backpack) ...outdoorsman does it! (crawls out from under the backpack and gets out a cylinder looking bag) Here we are-- my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn. (SpongeBob takes out binoculars while Patrick gets out a notepad and a pair glasses. Squidward throws the bag in the air then gets out the remote and pushes the button. The bag explodes and the tent, sticks, and rope fall on the ground) 

SpongeBob: That was great, Squidward! But how do you get inside? 

Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking. 

Squidward: It isn't '''''put up''''' yet, you idiots. (starts to mess with his tent but tears it) Huh? 

SpongeBob: Customization. 

Patrick: Genius! 

Mr. Krabs: Went oh of on Squidward

Squidward (beating the tent with a wooden stake) Bah! bah! bah! 

SpongeBob: He's tenderizing the ground! 

Patrick: Of course! (Squidward gets tangled in the rope) 

SpongeBob: Write that down!! Write that down!! (Patrick is playing tic-tac-toe instead of writing notes. Squidward kicks the pile of things and it magically becomes a tent) 

Squidward: Huh? Voila. (the tent collapses so Squidward rolls it up out of the way and brings back a sleeping bag) But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? (SpongeBob and Patrick applaud) Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right? 

SpongeBob: Nope, we've got something even better--Marshmallows. (takes out a bag of marshmallows and eats one) Mmm-mm. Just like the astronauts eat. (Patrick has a fishbowl over his head and he imitates static, like an astronaut) 

Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over. (SpongeBob has a fishbowl over his head and imitates static as well) 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over. 

Patrick: (imitates static) Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going. (imitates static) Over. 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick. (imitates static) Me too. (both imitate static back and forth for a bit while Squidward stares vacantly at them) 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself. Over. 

Patrick: (grabs a marshmallow) Yummy! (takes the marshmallow and jams it in his mouth, through the fishbowl, breaking it) Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed! 

Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls.... (holds up the can in his hand) just as soon as I can get my can opener. 

SpongeBob: But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here? 

Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house. 

SpongeBob: But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit. 

Patrick: ''Pretty weenie''. 

Squidward: All right. All right. Gimme a marshmallow. (Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face. Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face again. The third shot Squidward avoids and laughs. The marshmallow flies back into Squidward's head) Ok. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun? 

SpongeBob: Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.

Mr. Krabs: campfire song.

Music: "[[The Campfire Song Song]]"
I call this one "The Campfire Song Song".

Let's gather 'round the campfire
And sing our campfire song
Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.....
Patrick: Bum! bum! bum!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.... Sing another song....

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
Patrick!
SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Squidward! (silence) Good!

It'll help…it'll help…
If you just sing along!
'''OH YEAH!!!'''

SpongeBob: Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing? 

Mr. Krabs: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, No Squidward

Squidward: No! This is relaxing. (holds up his clarinet and plays "Michael, Row The Board Ashore") 

SpongeBob: Oh no! I'll save you, Squidward! (picks up a marshmallow and uses a slingshot to shoot in the clarinet and into Squidward's throat) Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better? 

Squidward: '''Better?! I was fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!''' 

SpongeBob: But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract…(whispers)a sea bear. 

Squidward: A sea bear? You mean like the ones that '''DON'T EXIST?!''' 

SpongeBob: What are you saying? 

Squidward: There's no such thing! They're just a myth! 

SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the ''Bikini Bottom Inquirer''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "''I Married a Sea Bear''" ? 

Patrick: Yeah, and ''Fake Science Monthly''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! 

Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, '''''but it's also dumb'''''! 

SpongeBob: Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin… 

Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away? 

SpongeBob: Ok, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet. 

Squidward: Okay. Then what? 

Spongebob: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast. 

Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey. 

Squidward: You're kidding. 

SpongeBob: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge. 

Patrick: Yeah. 

Squidward: Go on. 

SpongeBob: Don't ever eat cheese. 

Squidward: Sliced or cubed? (SpongeBob & Patrick converse quietly to each other) 

SpongeBob: Cubed; sliced is fine. 

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and? 

SpongeBob: Never wear a sombrero- 

Patrick: -in a goofy fashion! 

SpongeBob: Or clown shoes. 

Patrick: Or a hoop skirt. 

SpongeBob: And never… 

Patrick: Ever… 

SpongeBob: Ever… 

Patrick: Duh! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!!''''' 

Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off. (Spongebob and Patrick are holding each other in terror)

SpongeBob & Patrick: They're horrible! 

Squidward: And… and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Why? 

Squidward: I don't know… (runs off and comes back wearing all the items mentioned from before) '''Just a feeling'''!! 

SpongeBob: No. 

Mr. Krabs: Out Voice Squidward

Squidward: Yes. 

SpongeBob: No! (Squidward begins making monkey & chimp noises)''U!''UHUHU!'' 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!''''''

Squidward : (continues to do whatever it takes to get a sea bear's attention)''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear is sure to come over and eat us! (cries) 

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt. (grabs a stick and draws a circle around both of them) 

Squidward: (continues to do screeching like a chimpanzee) ''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh!

Mr. Krabs: Patrick Out of Camp

Patrick: Good thinking! (Holds up another issue of ''Fake Science Monthly'') All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack. 

Squidward: (ends to screeching) Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! (laughs) Ha! ha! ha! You guys are so gullible! See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened! If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up? 

SpongeBob: Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion. 

Squidward: Oh, pfft, sorry! How silly of me! You mean like this? (Squidward tilts his sombrero to the right then laughs. As he is laughing, a clawed fin turns the sombrero upside-down) Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!... 

SpongeBob: No, like that. 

Seabear: Grrrrrrrr! 

Squidward: ''AAAAAAAH!'' 

Seabear: '''GROOOOOAAAAAR!''' 

Squidward: Uaaaaaaah! 
(run)

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(attack Squidward)

SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back. 

Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once. 

Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: No! 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(come back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: Don't run! Sea bears hate that! 

Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''NOOOOOOO!!!''''' 

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: They hate limping more than running! 

Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have… 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: I should have warned you about crawling.
Seabear: Grrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

Squidward: What happened that time? 

SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.

Patrick: '''''Pretend to be somebody else!!!''''' 

SpongeBob: Here, draw a circle. (throws Squidward a stick) 

Squidward: Ok. 

Seabear: Grrrr! (comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: That was an oval! It has to be a circle! 

Squidward: '''''Move over!''''' 
(runs and sits on top of SpongeBob, inside the circle)

Seabear: Grrrr! (sees the circle, points menacingly at Squidward, then leaves)

Squidward: Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life. 

All: Hooray,hooray,hooray! 

SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea '''rhinoceros'''. 

Squidward: What attracts them? 

Patrick: ''The sound of a sea bear attack''. (a large fish with a rhinoceros' head and armor is snorting beside them) 

SpongeBob: Heh, good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments, right, Squidward? 

Squidward: (in fear) Uh-huh.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: The Camping Episode

2016-09-18T18:03:22Z

75.172.62.156: CJ

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Helden beim Zelten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Krabby Land|Krabby Land]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Missing Identity|Missing Identity]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Camping Episode (Episode)|The Camping Episode]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Seas Bears]]
*[[Seas Rhino]]

==Dialogue==

==Squidward's House==
Squidward: Ah, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just ''any'' old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. (gestures at "Dance Quarterly" calendar at a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick on the calendar) Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back? 

SpongeBob: (in Squidward's thought bubble) Patrick, I'm scared! 

Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great! (gets in bed) You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no… (imitates SpongeBob's laugh. When he stops, he can hear SpongeBob's laughter) What the…?!

==Conch Street==
Squidward: (goes outside and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in a tent in his backyard) SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping? 

SpongeBob: We are camping. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house. 

SpongeBob: Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Ok. Have fun inside. (Squidward leaves then comes back) 

Squidward: What do you mean, "have fun inside"? 

SpongeBob: Just…have fun inside. See you tomorrow. 

Squidward: Oh. Bye. (leaves then comes back again) You little sneak! I see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? 

Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? Mr. Krabs 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Went the of on Squidward?

Squidward: You're saying I can't take it! 

SpongeBob: But all I… 

Squidward: AH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little "have fun inside" challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it! (leaves) 

SpongeBob: Ok. ''Have fun inside Mr. Krabs''. (Squidward comes back and yells at them) 

Mr. Krabs: Squidward?

Squidward: '''That's it! I'm in!''' I'll show you camping! (runs inside his house) 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Squidward's gonna come camping with us! (both giggle while Squidward comes back with a big backpack on) 

Squidward: Now you'll see how a real… (falls forward into the sand from the heavy backpack) ...outdoorsman does it! (crawls out from under the backpack and gets out a cylinder looking bag) Here we are-- my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn. (SpongeBob takes out binoculars while Patrick gets out a notepad and a pair glasses. Squidward throws the bag in the air then gets out the remote and pushes the button. The bag explodes and the tent, sticks, and rope fall on the ground) 

SpongeBob: That was great, Squidward! But how do you get inside? 

Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking. 

Squidward: It isn't '''''put up''''' yet, you idiots. (starts to mess with his tent but tears it) Huh? 

SpongeBob: Customization. 

Patrick: Genius! 

Mr. Krabs: Went oh of on Squidward

Squidward (beating the tent with a wooden stake) Bah! bah! bah! 

SpongeBob: He's tenderizing the ground! 

Patrick: Of course! (Squidward gets tangled in the rope) 

SpongeBob: Write that down!! Write that down!! (Patrick is playing tic-tac-toe instead of writing notes. Squidward kicks the pile of things and it magically becomes a tent) 

Squidward: Huh? Voila. (the tent collapses so Squidward rolls it up out of the way and brings back a sleeping bag) But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? (SpongeBob and Patrick applaud) Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right? 

SpongeBob: Nope, we've got something even better--Marshmallows. (takes out a bag of marshmallows and eats one) Mmm-mm. Just like the astronauts eat. (Patrick has a fishbowl over his head and he imitates static, like an astronaut) 

Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over. (SpongeBob has a fishbowl over his head and imitates static as well) 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over. 

Patrick: (imitates static) Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going. (imitates static) Over. 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick. (imitates static) Me too. (both imitate static back and forth for a bit while Squidward stares vacantly at them) 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself. Over. 

Patrick: (grabs a marshmallow) Yummy! (takes the marshmallow and jams it in his mouth, through the fishbowl, breaking it) Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed! 

Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls.... (holds up the can in his hand) just as soon as I can get my can opener. 

SpongeBob: But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here? 

Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house. 

SpongeBob: But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit. 

Patrick: ''Pretty weenie''. 

Squidward: All right. All right. Gimme a marshmallow. (Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face. Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face again. The third shot Squidward avoids and laughs. The marshmallow flies back into Squidward's head) Ok. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun? 

SpongeBob: Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.

Music: "[[The Campfire Song Song]]"
I call this one "The Campfire Song Song".

Let's gather 'round the campfire
And sing our campfire song
Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.....
Patrick: Bum! bum! bum!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.... Sing another song....

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
Patrick!
SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Squidward! (silence) Good!

It'll help…it'll help…
If you just sing along!
'''OH YEAH!!!'''

SpongeBob: Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing? 

Squidward: No! This is relaxing. (holds up his clarinet and plays "Michael, Row The Board Ashore") 

SpongeBob: Oh no! I'll save you, Squidward! (picks up a marshmallow and uses a slingshot to shoot in the clarinet and into Squidward's throat) Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better? 

Squidward: '''Better?! I was fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!''' 

SpongeBob: But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract…(whispers)a sea bear. 

Squidward: A sea bear? You mean like the ones that '''DON'T EXIST?!''' 

SpongeBob: What are you saying? 

Squidward: There's no such thing! They're just a myth! 

SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the ''Bikini Bottom Inquirer''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "''I Married a Sea Bear''" ? 

Patrick: Yeah, and ''Fake Science Monthly''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! 

Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, '''''but it's also dumb'''''! 

SpongeBob: Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin… 

Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away? 

SpongeBob: Ok, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet. 

Squidward: Okay. Then what? 

Spongebob: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast. 

Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey. 

Squidward: You're kidding. 

SpongeBob: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge. 

Patrick: Yeah. 

Squidward: Go on. 

SpongeBob: Don't ever eat cheese. 

Squidward: Sliced or cubed? (SpongeBob & Patrick converse quietly to each other) 

SpongeBob: Cubed; sliced is fine. 

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and? 

SpongeBob: Never wear a sombrero- 

Patrick: -in a goofy fashion! 

SpongeBob: Or clown shoes. 

Patrick: Or a hoop skirt. 

SpongeBob: And never… 

Patrick: Ever… 

SpongeBob: Ever… 

Patrick: Duh! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!!''''' 

Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off. (Spongebob and Patrick are holding each other in terror)

SpongeBob & Patrick: They're horrible! 

Squidward: And… and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Why? 

Squidward: I don't know… (runs off and comes back wearing all the items mentioned from before) '''Just a feeling'''!! 

SpongeBob: No. 

Squidward: Yes. 

SpongeBob: No! (Squidward begins making monkey & chimp noises)''U!''UHUHU!'' 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!''''''

Squidward : (continues to do whatever it takes to get a sea bear's attention)''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear is sure to come over and eat us! (cries) 

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt. (grabs a stick and draws a circle around both of them) 

Squidward: (continues to do screeching like a chimpanzee) ''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh!

Patrick: Good thinking! (Holds up another issue of ''Fake Science Monthly'') All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack. 

Squidward: (ends to screeching) Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! (laughs) Ha! ha! ha! You guys are so gullible! See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened! If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up? 

SpongeBob: Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion. 

Squidward: Oh, pfft, sorry! How silly of me! You mean like this? (Squidward tilts his sombrero to the right then laughs. As he is laughing, a clawed fin turns the sombrero upside-down) Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!... 

SpongeBob: No, like that. 

Seabear: Grrrrrrrr! 

Squidward: ''AAAAAAAH!'' 

Seabear: '''GROOOOOAAAAAR!''' 

Squidward: Uaaaaaaah! 
(run)

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(attack Squidward)

SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back. 

Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once. 

Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: No! 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(come back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: Don't run! Sea bears hate that! 

Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''NOOOOOOO!!!''''' 

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: They hate limping more than running! 

Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have… 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: I should have warned you about crawling.
Seabear: Grrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

Squidward: What happened that time? 

SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.

Patrick: '''''Pretend to be somebody else!!!''''' 

SpongeBob: Here, draw a circle. (throws Squidward a stick) 

Squidward: Ok. 

Seabear: Grrrr! (comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: That was an oval! It has to be a circle! 

Squidward: '''''Move over!''''' 
(runs and sits on top of SpongeBob, inside the circle)

Seabear: Grrrr! (sees the circle, points menacingly at Squidward, then leaves)

Squidward: Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life. 

All: Hooray,hooray,hooray! 

SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea '''rhinoceros'''. 

Squidward: What attracts them? 

Patrick: ''The sound of a sea bear attack''. (a large fish with a rhinoceros' head and armor is snorting beside them) 

SpongeBob: Heh, good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments, right, Squidward? 

Squidward: (in fear) Uh-huh.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: Shanghaied

2016-09-18T17:56:47Z

75.172.62.156: CJ

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: The Smoking Peanut|The Smoking Peanut]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Gary Takes A Bath|Gary Takes A Bath]]
|}
Episode Article: [[Shanghaied (Episode)|Shanghaied]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs]]
*[[Flying Dutchman]]
*[[Patchy the Pirate]]
*[[Potty the Parrot]]
*[[Billy]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]

==Dialogue==

(pan over live-action houses)

Narrator: And now, it's time for Patchy's Pick. (The name "Patchy's Pick" appears. The exterior of Patchy's house is shown) Hosted by: SpongeBob's number one fan, Patchy the Pirate!

Patchy: Ahoy, fanofanatics! Welcome to Patchy's Pick! I got a little treat for you. We're gonna see me favorite movie Shanghaied! Ta-ta-ta!

(Cuts to Potty, a puppet bird)

Potty: Boring!

Patchy: Well, If it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hi to the nice people!

Potty: Squawk! I'm being held here against my will! Help!

Patchy: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh... Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Were'd you go? Potty, are you in here, buddy? Potty? Potty?

[Then the screen reveals that Patchy is in a cannon that is pointing outside the window]

Potty: [laughs and squawking] Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha.

Patchy: Get me out of here, you scurvy bird! [The cannon blasts Patchy out and Patchy screams; he lands in a neighboring house which sinks like a boat. Patchy returns, still smoking from the cannon blast] Well, Roll the cartoon!

===The story===

SpongeBob: (eating [[Kelp-O]] cereal) Mmm, Kelp-O! With one of eight essential prizes inside! (checks in the cereal box but then a giant anchor comes crashing through SpongeBob's house)

SpongeBob: Holy Shrimp! (runs out to Squidward) Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box! Squidward! (Squidward pokes his head through his window) Squidward! The sky had a baby! 

Squidward: That's not a baby! That's a giant anchor! Now go away! (Patrick comes over) 

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! The sky had a baby!

SpongeBob: I know! What do you think we should name it? 

Patrick: How about.... 

Squidward: Why don't you two go climb its anchor rope? I'm sure it goes somewhere far away! (anchor crashes into Squidward’s
house) Now look what you've done! 

SpongeBob: We didn't do it, Squidward. Our hands are clean! (SpongeBob & Patrick show their spotless hands) 

Patrick: Clean.... 

Squidward: (on top of his house) Well, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this thing. 

SpongeBob: Wouldn't that be the top? (Squidward starts to climb rope) 

SpongeBob: Squid, wait! Wait! 

Patrick: Squidward! (SpongeBob & Patrick start climbing rope also) 

Narrator: A few inches later... 

SpongeBob: (points up) Ship! 

Patrick: SpongeBob, how long are you gonna stay in your little fantasy world? 

SpongeBob: No, look, a giant ship! 

Squidward: Great! Let's go! Now I can finally give this anchor-dropper a piece of my mind. 

SpongeBob: I don't know, Squidward. That ship has a spooky green glow around it. 

Squidward: That's probably because its good-for-nothing owner is too lazy to clean or drop its anchors in the right
place. 

SpongeBob: Squid, wait! (all 3 reach the top) 

Squidward: All right, who owns this crate? (notices a door that says "owner" and begins to knock on it) Come on out! I
wanna file a complaint! (SpongeBob looks around the ship) 

SpongeBob: Doesn't this place seem familiar? 

Patrick: I don't know. Why? 

SpongeBob: I don't know. Doesn't it just kind of ring a bell? (Squidward rings the doorbell) 

Patrick: Yes! 

SpongeBob: I know who owns this boat but I just can't place the name. (SpongeBob walks by a barrel that says "property of
the flying Dutchman") 

Flying Dutchman: Rawr!! 

SpongeBob: No, no, it's not "rawr!" 

Flying Dutchman: I am the Flying Dutchman! 

SpongeBob: That's it! Squidward, this ship belongs to the Red Baron! 

Flying Dutchman: Who be disturbin' the Flying Dutchman in his own lair? 

SpongeBob: It's Squidward. He wants to complain to you. (Flying Dutchman gives an evil look to Squidward) 

Squidward: I....no, I don't. 

SpongeBob: Well, what about all that stuff about him having a dirty ship and being lazy and all? 

Squidward: I never said that. 

Flying Dutchman: Insultin' a man's ship be worse than insultin' his mother. 

SpongeBob: No, no, wait, it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship.

Flying Dutchman: (shoots fire out his nose frying up Squidward) 

Squidward: Ahh! Ow. 

Flying Dutchman: (looks over to SpongeBob & Patrick) You're next! 

SpongeBob and Patrick: (jumps off the ship) That was a close one! (land back on the ship) 

Flying Dutchman: Welcome back! 

SpongeBob: (jumps off the ship) That was a closer one! (land back on the ship) 

Flying Dutchman: Welcome back! (SpongeBob & Patrick jump off the ship) 

Squidward: Hey! How come when they act up, all they get is the welcome wagon? If you ask me, it's.... (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward while SpongeBob & Patrick land back on the ship) 

Flying Dutchman: So, are you gonna try that again? 

Patrick: Probably. (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward) 

Flying Dutchman: How 'bout now? 

Patrick: Uhh... 

Mr. Krabs: Out of Corner not whew went Squidward

Squidward: (covers Patrick's mouth with tentacle) No, no, they're not. Whew. (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward) 

Flying Dutchman: Now listen. (takes out a "Ghost Rule Book") Whosoever sets foot on the Flying Dutchman's ship, uninvited
or otherwise, shall become members of his ghostly crew forever! (closes rule book) And, uhh (opens rule book), ever.
(closes rule book) 

Squidward: Will we be getting business cards? (Flying Dutchman zaps Squidward) 

Flying Dutchman: Silence! You're part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It'll be grueling, mind-
numbing, and repetitive. Just like...daytime television. 

Squidward: Now you listen here, mister. If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes on this dumpster, then you're
crazy. I mean, look at this place. It's disgusting! (shows a green jockstrap) Whoever told you that having oil lamps next
to hardwood paneling was a good idea... (Dutchman picks up Squidward) Oh, oh, now what? I suppose you're gonna show me...
(Flying Dutchman unzips something in mid-air) Oh, gee, that's very nice. What is this, some kind of magic act? (Flying
Dutchman tosses Squidward into the Fly Of Despair) 

Flying Dutchman: (closes Fly of Despair) Would anyone else like to enter the "Fly of Despair"? 

SpongeBob: No! We know our place now, Mr. Dutchman. 

Patrick: We'll do anything you say! 

Flying Dutchman: Then, for starters, you can...swab the deck! (hands them a broom and a bucket) 

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick! A real, live, ghost mop! 

Patrick: And I got this hat! 

Flying Dutchman: Listen! We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree, so I want this ship to
look good and scary! 

SpongeBob: You mean you want it to look good...and scary. Well, I think we can probably... 

Patrick: No, no, I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary. 

SpongeBob: Or maybe that by looking so scary you forget that it doesn't look good! 

Patrick: I don't get it. 

SpongeBob: Look, it's easy, it simply means that... 

Flying Dutchman: Never mind what it means! I just want it to look scary! That's it! You know, mold growing on the ceilings
and bugs in the sink. 

SpongeBob: So, you don't want it to look good? 

Flying Dutchman: Get moving! (SpongeBob & Patrick start mopping) 

Flying Dutchman: What a night be this! Crew, howl with me so that we might set the Seven Seas ablaze with fear! (howls like
a wolf) 

SpongeBob: Ahh! 

Patrick: Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee! 

Flying Dutchman: (howls like a wolf) 

SpongeBob: Ahh! 

Patrick: Leedle-eedle-eedle-lee! (Flying Dutchman going to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-
eedle-eedle! (Flying Dutchman going to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle! (Flying
Dutchman going to howl again but Patrick cuts him off) Leedle-eedle-eedle-eedle-eedle! 

Flying Dutchman: Eh, that'll do. Okay, Square One, since Pink One's working the navigation, it's up to you to find our
first victim. Here, use this spyglass. Now hurry up! We're burnin' moonlight! 

SpongeBob: Let's see who we can find. (spins telescope on ground) Captain, there's a guy we can scare. (telescope points to
a big tough guy then Flying Dutchman blows on the telescope spinning it a little to land on a little kid) 

Billy: I had four biscuits, and I ate one. Then I only had three. 

Flying Dutchman: Ahh, it does me heart good to see children out after dark. Pink One, take us behind those rocks. 

Patrick: Moving behind the rocks! (ship moves scratches and tears up through the rocky parts of the sea) 

SpongeBob: Keep going. You're good. You're good. You're good...and...stop. Don't worry, Captain, we'll buff out those
scratches. 

Flying Dutchman: All right, never mind it. Just jump out when I give the signal. (Flying Dutchman scares Billy from behind
a rock)

Flying Dutchman: Boo! Prepare to be burdened with the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! (points to SpongeBob &
Patrick who just get confused) 

SpongeBob: Was that the signal? Okay, sorry, sorry, just...just do it again. 

Flying Dutchman: With the haunting memory of my ghostly ghost pirates! (SpongeBob & Patrick come out and SpongeBob does a
little trick with his fingers) 

Patrick: How does he do that? 

Flying Dutchman: Get back on the ship. 

SpongeBob and Patrick: It's still a mystery. 

Billy: Those guys are dorks. 

Flying Dutchman: Yes, but they're my dorks. (goes back to showing SpongeBob & Patrick steering through the rocks tearing up the ship) 

SpongeBob: You're good. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman goes through Bikini Bottom terrorizing citizens while
SpongeBob & Patrick do stupid tricks. Later shown the ship is still getting wrecked) 

SpongeBob: You're good. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman goes through Bikini Bottom terrorizing citizens while
SpongeBob & Patrick do stupid tricks. Later shown the ship is still getting wrecked) 

SpongeBob: You're good.. You're good. You're good. (Flying Dutchman scares another citizen while SpongeBob & Patrick figure-
skate in purple tights) 

(back on the ship) 

SpongeBob: Why do you think the Dutchman asked us to wait in our bunk room? 

Patrick: Maybe he's gonna give us a reward! 

SpongeBob: Like movie passes? 

Patrick: Or an oversized coffee mug?! (both start bouncing insanely) 

Flying Dutchman: I've been thinking. Stop bouncing! (both stop) This whole crew for eternity thing isn't working out. It's
not really you so much as it is me. 

SpongeBob: You're setting us free? 

Flying Dutchman: Well, actually, I'm just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! (SpongeBob & Patrick scream) 

Patrick: Wait, I have an idea! 

SpongeBob: Really?! What is it? 

Patrick: Let's leave! 

SpongeBob: But the door is locked and the only way out is through the....perfume department. (points to a room full of
perfume and customers) 

Patrick: Let's do it. (they try to run through the department but get sprayed with all sorts of perfume) 
SpongeBob: I always hate going in there! 

Patrick: Yeah. 

SpongeBob: (hears something strange) Wait! Listen! (Flying Dutchman is in his room) 

Flying Dutchman: Dear Diary: I told them I'm going to eat them tomorrow. I made up some of that brown sauce my cousin
showed me just for the occasion. Ahh, it's a good thing I found my dining sock again. Remember the last time I lost me
dining sock, I couldn't eat for a whole week. Yes, sir, sometimes I wonder how I'd survive if anything should ever
happen... (notices sock is gone and pops out in front of SpongeBob & Patrick) Give me back my sock! Everyone knows I can't
eat without it! 

SpongeBob: Never! 

Flying Dutchman: Ok, then... (tries to zap SpongeBob but SpongeBob holds up the sock as protection) Give it to me!
SpongeBob: No! 

Flying Dutchman: Wait, you're stretching out the elastic!

Patrick: It would seem we have reached an impass. 

Flying Dutchman: Pink one is right. Tell you what. You give me back the sock, and I'll give you....three wishes. 

Patrick: Make it five. 

Flying Dutchman: Four. 

Patrick: Three. Take it or leave it. 

Flying Dutchman: Ok...uhh, three. You get three wishes. 

SpongeBob: Wow! Three wishes, Pat. Isn't that great? 

Patrick: Wishes? I wish we had known that earlier! (clock goes backwards one minute) 

Flying Dutchman: Okay, you got two wishes left. 

SpongeBob: Well, we still have two more. How exciting! I wish Squidward were here to see this! (falls through a hole in the
Fly Of Despair and crashes onto his bed) 

Squidward: Boy, I'm glad all that's over! (re-appears on the ship) 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward! You're back! 

SpongeBob: Guess what? The Dutchman gave us three wishes! Patrick used the first one, and I guess I just used the second
one. 

Squidward: Well, then, the last one you owe me because you got me back into this mess!

Patrick: Wait,I think it belongs to me! (everyone starts to argue) 

Flying Dutchman: That's enough! Using my mystic other-worldly powers, I shall decide who gets the last wish. (uses the eeny-meenie-minie-mo method) Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, catch a sailor by the toe, if he hollers, let him go, my mother told me to pick the very best one and... (original airing had kids choose which ending they wanted. SpongeBob won first and then they showed the other 2 endings)

===Patrick's ending===
Flying Dutchman: (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on Patrick) 
SpongeBob: That's you, Patrick. Make your wish. 
Patrick: Uhh... 
Squidward: Wait, Patrick, listen. I do not particularly feel like being trapped here for all eternity. Eternity is a very long time, understand?! 
SpongeBob: Patrick, you've got to think harder than you've ever thought before. 
Patrick: Uhh... 
SpongeBob: That's not gonna do it! Think harder! 
Patrick: Uhh... (shown Patrick’s brain which is really a toaster) Okay! I've got it. 
Flying Dutchman: Thou wish is granted. 
Patrick: (chewing on gum) Oh, I'm sorry. Want some gum? 
Squidward: You wished for gum? 
Patrick: Well, if we're gonna be here forever, we might as well have fresh breath! (each take a piece of gum. Later, we see Flying Dutchman with a big belly and the 3 characters trying to get out) 
Flying Dutchman: Ahh. Minty.

===Squidward's ending===
Flying Dutchman: (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on Squidward) 
SpongeBob: Squidward, you get a wish! A great big wish! 
Squidward: That's right! And you know what I wish? 
Patrick: No! 
Squidward: I wish that I had never met you two barnacle-heads before in my entire life! 
Flying Dutchman: So be it. 
SpongeBob: Hi there, I don't believe we've met. My name is SpongeBob, and this is my associate Patrick. 
Patrick: Hi. 
Squidward: That's not what I meant! 
Flying Dutchman: Well, now that introductions are out of the way, it's time for dinner! (Flying Dutchman appears with a big belly) 
SpongeBob: And what did you say your name was? 
Squidward: I'm Squidward. I'm your neighbor. 
SpongeBob: Oh, nice to meet you, Squid-ward. (tries to pronounce it right) We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other, I guess. (laughs)

===SpongeBob's ending===
Flying Dutchman: (finishing eenie-meenie-minie-mo) You are it! (stops on SpongeBob) 
Squidward: Now, think, SpongeBob! We're about to get eaten. What can you wish for to make it so we don't get eaten? 
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward. I've got it all figured out. He won't be able to eat us because....I wish that the Dutchman was a vegetarian! (Flying Dutchman turns into a vegetarian and SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward re-appear in front of SpongeBob's house but you can only see their heads) 
SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward: Hooray! 
SpongeBob: We're home! 
Patrick: You did it, SpongeBob. We're saved! 
Squidward: But why have we been turned into fruits? (their bodies have been turned into fruits and they gasp as they realize they are in a blender) 
Flying Dutchman: Hey, I get a wish too. Fruit prevents scurvy! (whistles(SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward scream in fear and bounce away in the blender) Hey, get back here with that! Ha ha! I'll get ya! (Flying Dutchman chases them around the ship, which is now a hippie-themed volkswagen with a main mast)

===Main ending===
Patchy: Ahoy, children! I'm back! I hope you all enjoyed the show because it's time for you to walk the plank! (Screen reads: PLEASE STAND BY) Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say because it's time for fan mail! (blows horn) 
Kids: (off-screen) Hooray! 
Patchy: Now, blow milk out of your nose because we're gonna open a letter! Thank you, my precious potty. 
Potty: Brawk, you're not welcome. 
Patchy: Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt! 
Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! (Potty blows up along with Patchy; Patchy coughs up a feather and recovers from the blast) 
Patchy: Well, that's it for Patchy's Pick. Hooray! (Potty collapses to the floor)
to see more go to[http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/Shanghaied_(transcript)

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: The Camping Episode

2016-09-17T20:24:04Z

75.172.62.156: CJ

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Helden beim Zelten]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Krabby Land|Krabby Land]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Missing Identity|Missing Identity]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Camping Episode (Episode)|The Camping Episode]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Seas Bears]]
*[[Seas Rhino]]

==Dialogue==

==Squidward's House==
Squidward: Ah, finally, the weekend is here. And this isn't just ''any'' old weekend. This is the weekend that SpongeBob and Patrick go camping. (gestures at "Dance Quarterly" calendar at a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick on the calendar) Wouldn't it be great if they got lost in the woods and never came back? 

SpongeBob: (in Squidward's thought bubble) Patrick, I'm scared! 

Squidward: Ho-ho, that would be great! (gets in bed) You've waited a long time for this. A soft bed, warm tea, a good book, and two whole days with no… (imitates SpongeBob's laugh. When he stops, he can hear SpongeBob's laughter) What the…?!

==Conch Street==
Squidward: (goes outside and sees SpongeBob and Patrick in a tent in his backyard) SpongeBob, aren't you two supposed to be camping? 

SpongeBob: We are camping. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, it's not camping if you're ten feet from your house. 

SpongeBob: Aww, it doesn't matter where you are as long as you're outdoors. While all those soft city folk are safe in their beds reading books, we're out here, pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature. You wanna join us? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Ok. Have fun inside. (Squidward leaves then comes back) 

Squidward: What do you mean, "have fun inside"? 

SpongeBob: Just…have fun inside. See you tomorrow. 

Squidward: Oh. Bye. (leaves then comes back again) You little sneak! I see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? 

Squidward: Don't think I can't see what you're doing! 

SpongeBob: What? 

Squidward: You're saying I can't take it! 

SpongeBob: But all I… 

Squidward: AH! You're saying I'm soft! You think your little "have fun inside" challenge is gonna make me come camping with you, but that is NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! There's no way I'm gonna sit out here all night with you two losers! So, get used to it! (leaves) 

SpongeBob: Ok. ''Have fun inside''. (Squidward comes back and yells at them) 

Squidward: '''That's it! I'm in!''' I'll show you camping! (runs inside his house) 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) Squidward's gonna come camping with us! (both giggle while Squidward comes back with a big backpack on) 

Squidward: Now you'll see how a real… (falls forward into the sand from the heavy backpack) ...outdoorsman does it! (crawls out from under the backpack and gets out a cylinder looking bag) Here we are-- my remote-controlled, self-assembling tent. Watch and learn. (SpongeBob takes out binoculars while Patrick gets out a notepad and a pair glasses. Squidward throws the bag in the air then gets out the remote and pushes the button. The bag explodes and the tent, sticks, and rope fall on the ground) 

SpongeBob: That was great, Squidward! But how do you get inside? 

Patrick: Yeah, it's all crushy-looking. 

Squidward: It isn't '''''put up''''' yet, you idiots. (starts to mess with his tent but tears it) Huh? 

SpongeBob: Customization. 

Patrick: Genius! 

Squidward (beating the tent with a wooden stake) Bah! bah! bah! 

SpongeBob: He's tenderizing the ground! 

Patrick: Of course! (Squidward gets tangled in the rope) 

SpongeBob: Write that down!! Write that down!! (Patrick is playing tic-tac-toe instead of writing notes. Squidward kicks the pile of things and it magically becomes a tent) 

Squidward: Huh? Voila. (the tent collapses so Squidward rolls it up out of the way and brings back a sleeping bag) But what could compare to just lying out under the stars? (SpongeBob and Patrick applaud) Well, I've worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose you two are gonna stew up some twigs and rocks, right? 

SpongeBob: Nope, we've got something even better--Marshmallows. (takes out a bag of marshmallows and eats one) Mmm-mm. Just like the astronauts eat. (Patrick has a fishbowl over his head and he imitates static, like an astronaut) 

Patrick: Patrick to SpongeBob. Patrick to SpongeBob. Do you read me? Over. (SpongeBob has a fishbowl over his head and imitates static as well) 

SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Patrick. I read you. Over. 

Patrick: (imitates static) Patrick to SpongeBob. I like going. (imitates static) Over. 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick. (imitates static) Me too. (both imitate static back and forth for a bit while Squidward stares vacantly at them) 

SpongeBob: (imitates static) SpongeBob to Patrick, help yourself. Over. 

Patrick: (grabs a marshmallow) Yummy! (takes the marshmallow and jams it in his mouth, through the fishbowl, breaking it) Patrick to SpongeBob! The deliciousness has landed! 

Squidward: Well, you two astronauts can eat marshmallows. I gonna have a can of Swedish Barnacle Balls.... (holds up the can in his hand) just as soon as I can get my can opener. 

SpongeBob: But Squidward, didn't you take a can opener when you hiked out here? 

Squidward: Why would I bother? We're ten feet from my house. 

SpongeBob: But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't seem to fit the camping spirit. 

Patrick: ''Pretty weenie''. 

Squidward: All right. All right. Gimme a marshmallow. (Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face. Squidward begins roasting his marshmallow until Patrick's marshmallow catches on fire and he blows it on Squidward's face again. The third shot Squidward avoids and laughs. The marshmallow flies back into Squidward's head) Ok. Besides spitting molten food stuffs at me, what else do you do for fun? 

SpongeBob: Well, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song.

Music: "[[The Campfire Song Song]]"
I call this one "The Campfire Song Song".

Let's gather 'round the campfire
And sing our campfire song
Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.....
Patrick: Bum! bum! bum!

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!
And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong
But it'll help if you just sing along.... Sing another song....

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song
Patrick!
SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-
Squidward! (silence) Good!

It'll help…it'll help…
If you just sing along!
'''OH YEAH!!!'''

SpongeBob: Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing? 

Squidward: No! This is relaxing. (holds up his clarinet and plays "Michael, Row The Board Ashore") 

SpongeBob: Oh no! I'll save you, Squidward! (picks up a marshmallow and uses a slingshot to shoot in the clarinet and into Squidward's throat) Squidward, are you all right? That's it, chew, chew, and swallow. There, better? 

Squidward: '''Better?! I was fine until you lodged that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!''' 

SpongeBob: But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the clarinet badly out here in the wilderness! It might attract…(whispers)a sea bear. 

Squidward: A sea bear? You mean like the ones that '''DON'T EXIST?!''' 

SpongeBob: What are you saying? 

Squidward: There's no such thing! They're just a myth! 

SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward, sea bears are all too real! It says so in the ''Bikini Bottom Inquirer''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "''I Married a Sea Bear''" ? 

Patrick: Yeah, and ''Fake Science Monthly''! (holds up the magazine) 

Squidward: (reads cover) "Sea Bears and Fairy Tales Are Real?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! 

Patrick: Well, maybe it is stupid, '''''but it's also dumb'''''! 

SpongeBob: Patrick's right, Squidward. Sea bears are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin… 

Squidward: You're right! I should be more careful. In fact, why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the sea bears away? 

SpongeBob: Ok, that's easy. First off, don't play the clarinet. 

Squidward: Okay. Then what? 

Spongebob: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast. 

Patrick: Flashlights are their natural prey. 

Squidward: You're kidding. 

SpongeBob: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge. 

Patrick: Yeah. 

Squidward: Go on. 

SpongeBob: Don't ever eat cheese. 

Squidward: Sliced or cubed? (SpongeBob & Patrick converse quietly to each other) 

SpongeBob: Cubed; sliced is fine. 

Squidward: Yeah, yeah, and? 

SpongeBob: Never wear a sombrero- 

Patrick: -in a goofy fashion! 

SpongeBob: Or clown shoes. 

Patrick: Or a hoop skirt. 

SpongeBob: And never… 

Patrick: Ever… 

SpongeBob: Ever… 

Patrick: Duh! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!!!''''' 

Squidward: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a sea bear off. (Spongebob and Patrick are holding each other in terror)

SpongeBob & Patrick: They're horrible! 

Squidward: And… and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: Why? 

Squidward: I don't know… (runs off and comes back wearing all the items mentioned from before) '''Just a feeling'''!! 

SpongeBob: No. 

Squidward: Yes. 

SpongeBob: No! (Squidward begins making monkey & chimp noises)''U!''UHUHU!'' 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''SQUIDWARD, PLEASE DON'T!!''''''

Squidward : (continues to do whatever it takes to get a sea bear's attention)''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are we gonna do? A sea bear is sure to come over and eat us! (cries) 

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. I'll draw us an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt. (grabs a stick and draws a circle around both of them) 

Squidward: (continues to do screeching like a chimpanzee) ''Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Uh!

Patrick: Good thinking! (Holds up another issue of ''Fake Science Monthly'') All the experts say it's the only defense against a sea bear attack. 

Squidward: (ends to screeching) Uh! Uh! Uh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! (laughs) Ha! ha! ha! You guys are so gullible! See? I did everything that attracts a sea bear and nothing happened! If sea bears really exist, why didn't one show up? 

SpongeBob: Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion. 

Squidward: Oh, pfft, sorry! How silly of me! You mean like this? (Squidward tilts his sombrero to the right then laughs. As he is laughing, a clawed fin turns the sombrero upside-down) Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!... 

SpongeBob: No, like that. 

Seabear: Grrrrrrrr! 

Squidward: ''AAAAAAAH!'' 

Seabear: '''GROOOOOAAAAAR!''' 

Squidward: Uaaaaaaah! 
(run)

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(attack Squidward)

SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay? 

Squidward: No. 

SpongeBob: Quick! Jump inside our anti-sea-bear circle before he comes back. 

Patrick: Yeah. Sea bears often attack more than once. 

Squidward: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life! 

SpongeBob & Patrick: No! 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(come back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: Don't run! Sea bears hate that! 

Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then. 

SpongeBob & Patrick: '''''NOOOOOOO!!!''''' 

Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: They hate limping more than running! 

Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have… 
Seabear: Grrrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: I should have warned you about crawling.
Seabear: Grrr! 
(comes back and attacks Squidward again)

Squidward: What happened that time? 

SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.

Patrick: '''''Pretend to be somebody else!!!''''' 

SpongeBob: Here, draw a circle. (throws Squidward a stick) 

Squidward: Ok. 

Seabear: Grrrr! (comes back and attacks Squidward again)

SpongeBob: That was an oval! It has to be a circle! 

Squidward: '''''Move over!''''' 
(runs and sits on top of SpongeBob, inside the circle)

Seabear: Grrrr! (sees the circle, points menacingly at Squidward, then leaves)

Squidward: Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life. 

All: Hooray,hooray,hooray! 

SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm glad it was just a sea bear. This circle would never hold back a sea '''rhinoceros'''. 

Squidward: What attracts them? 

Patrick: ''The sound of a sea bear attack''. (a large fish with a rhinoceros' head and armor is snorting beside them) 

SpongeBob: Heh, good thing we're all wearing our anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments, right, Squidward? 

Squidward: (in fear) Uh-huh.

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: The Main Drain

2016-09-17T20:12:29Z

75.172.62.156: CJ\

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Old Man Jenkins]]

==Transcript==
(At the [[Krusty Krab]], we see [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] coming out of the freezer with a krabby patty)

[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Nothing like a fresh frozen krabby patty with extra freezer burn flavor. (His nose breaks off. He walks up to the grill) Here we go... (Stops when he saw filth on the grill. He takes his finger and observes part of the filth.) Hmm, grill look a tad dirty. (Cuts to the counter with a customer.)

[[Billy (Teenager)|Customer]]: Yeah, I like to order...(Gets interrupted by a noise from the kitchen.)

[[Squidward Q. Tentacles|Squidward]]: Hold that thought. (SpongeBob is cleaning the grill with a red sponge. Squidward pops his head in the window.) SpongeBob, what's all that racket? (SpongeBob cleans Squidward's face, he goes back to the counter with his face all dirty.)

Customer: Uh, so I like to order... (Squidward closes his mouth, hushing him. Back in the kitchen, the grill is all cleaned. SpongeBob places the red sponge in his tongue.)

SpongeBob: (Pops his head out the window.) Say! Who wants...the first patty from our freshly cleaned grill!? (Hyperventilates excitedly.)

Customer: (Delighted) I would like a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: Okay, how about you, Squid...

Squidward: No! I do not want a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: (Smugs while slides his finger against Squidward's nose.) You suuure?

Squidward: Don't touch me.

Customer: Why don't you want a krabby patty?

Squidward: I've seen what he cleans the grill with. (Cuts to the kitchen.)

SpongeBob: Now all I need is a fresh patty. (Walks to the freezer when he then slips on a puddle of water, goes out the door, making a path of water, grabs a pole, and slides back to the kitchen, closing the door. He is now lying down.)

SpongeBob: Hey, where'd all this water come from? (He noticed the sink was running. He walks up to it and turns it off.) There we go. Oh my stars and garters, the sink is clogged up! (He places a "Wet Floor" sign.) Safety. (Walks back to the sink.) Now what seem to be the trouble, hmm? (He heard somebody tripped. SpongeBob walks up to that person, which was Patrick.) Patrick, what happened? (Patrick sits up.)

[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: There I was, walking along, just minding my own business and then BOOM! (Takes out the "Wet Floor" sign.) Some dumbbell put this thing in the way. (Throws the sign out and gets up.) What'cha doing?

SpongeBob: Trying to see what has this sink all backed up. Would you excuse me a second?

Patrick: Uh-huh. (SpongeBob inhales for breath and holds it. He dives his head into the sink and then he saw a drain plug.)

SpongeBob: (Gurgling) Ah-ha! (Takes his head out of the sink.) Oh, this is easy. All I have to do is pull the drain plug. (Repeating as the scene goes to Mr. Krabs' office while he is writing.) Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. Pull the drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. The drain plug. (Mr. Krabs' eyes becomes bloodshot in fright.) The drain plug.

[[Mr. Krabs]]: (Yelling) THE DRAIN PLUG!? (Cuts to SpongeBob, trying to pull the drain plug. Mr. Krabs rushed to SpongeBob.) SpongeBob! (SpongeBob gets startled and he jumps up to the ceiling, hitting his head. Then he falls down to the floor.) What in Neptune's bathtub do you think you're doing, lad!?

SpongeBob: (Goes to the sink again.) The sink is clogged, (Holds the plug.) so I was going to pull out the drain plug. (Mr. Krabs smacks his hand and Spongebob lets go of the plug.)

Mr. Krabs: Stop messing with that drain plug! Are you daft?

SpongeBob: Why don't you want me to pull out the drain plug, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Why don't I-but-hmm...one sec. (Walks to a light switch and turns it off. Then he walks back.) Time for a scary story boys. The story...(Takes out a flashlight and shines to his face.) ... (Spooky tone) of the Main Drain. (He hears ominous music from Patrick's radio.) Patrick.

Patrick: Sorry. (Turns off his radio.)

Mr. Krabs: As I was saying... (Takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again.) it happened a long time ago... (He hears ominous music from Patrick's radio again and was annoyed.) Patrick! (Patrick turns it off again.) ...to a pair of little kids.

Patrick: (Scared) Two little kids...? (Crying)

Mr. Krabs: Anyway, (Takes out the flashlight and shines to his face again.) it said that the Main Drain beckoned to them, putting them under its spell. (Scene cuts to two kids, an orange fish and a green fish, running and laughing.)

Green Kid: (Singing) Dadadada-dum-da-dumdumdum.

Orange Kid: Woooo.

Mr. Krabs: (Narrating) One day, those two kids were wandering through the ocean, when they stumble upon it. (The kids found a giant drain plug.)

Kids: Huh?

Mr. Krabs: (Spooky tone) The Main Drain.

Kids: (They chuckled and then they pull it.)

Mr. Krabs: Legend has it that their curiosity got the best of 'em. (The plug has been pulled out.) And they pulled the plug. (The orange kid get sucked in.) The entire ocean rusted in the drain and sucked those two kids right down with it. (The green kid attempts to escape, but got sucked in as well.) The drain was so powerful, it pulled all of Bikini Bottom into its gaping maw, causing an apocalypse to the sea! (The drain sucked everything in the ocean, including the water. Cuts back to Mr. Krabs) And nobody was ever heard from...again. (Turns off flashlight.)

SpongeBob: (Turns the light back on.) Where is the Main Drain, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Well it right-I...I don't know where it is! And I'm certainly not going to tell you! (Pushes SpongeBob and Patrick out of the restaurant.) So, so, so get out of here and stay away from that drain! No plugs will be pulled on my watch. (Closes the door.)

Patrick: Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of baggage about drain dealings.

SpongeBob: The Main Drain sounds very, very dangerous, I'm never gonna go near that thing.

Patrick: (Determined) We should go find it, to protect it from people like us.

SpongeBob: (Worried) What if we get sucked in like those other two kids?

Patrick: Oh, don't worry, we're not little kids, we're all grown up. (His tooth comes out loose, then pulls it out.) Hey, a baby tooth. (They both walk through the road.)

SpongeBob: Who's been in Bikini Bottom for as long as Mr. Krabs? (Suddenly, SpongeBob accidentally steps on Plankton.)

[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]: OW! (Spongebob picks up his foot.)

Patrick: Ew...

SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Plankton! (Peels him off of his shoe while Plankton yells in pain, then he holds out Plankton on his hand.)

Patrick: Let's ask Plankton, he's a geezer.

Plankton: What stupid question do you want the answer to, idiots?

SpongeBob: Patrick and I are trying to find the Main Drain.

Plankton: (Gasps) The Main Drain?? What are you two bothering me for any-I-I-I don't know where the Main Drain is. It's a myth anyway, it doesn't exist!

SpongeBob: Yeah, but Mr. Krabs said...

Plankton: Krabs!? Why that-he was just telling you a fish tale. There's no such thing as a drain at the bottom of the sea. (Jumps out of SpongeBob's hand.) So go on, scram! SHOO! Get out of here! (SpongeBob and Patrick walked away.) Why on Earth would Krabs tell those two blunderers about the Main Drain? (Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking in town.)

SpongeBob: I wonder who else knows about the Main Drain. (Suddenly, they were pulled by two green arms and got dragged into a house in a dark room. Only that it was Old Man Jenkins who pulled them in. He turns on the light.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Old Man Jenkins!

[[Old Man Jenkins]]: Why are you two asking about the Main Drain?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs tells us the story of how the Main Drain once destroyed Bikini Bottom.

Patrick: So we've been looking for it.

SpongeBob: Does the Main Drain even exist?

Old Man Jenkins: Oh, it exists all right, but it's been, uh...hushed up...

SpongeBob: (Claps his hands together in hope for an answer.) Where is the drain, O Wise Jenkins?

Old Man Jenkins: ...I have no idea. (Spongebob and Patrick are disappointed. They left the house.)

SpongeBob: (Immediately faces towards Patrick.) Patrick! We need to find that drain!

Patrick: Why?

SpongeBob: Isn't you curiosity piqued? (Frantic) What if someone accidentally pulls it? What if...What if...?

Patrick (Thinking): Oh, man...I hope this question isn't for me, I hate questions.

SpongeBob: What do you think, Patrick?

Patrick: Ah! (Frantically turns his head left and right) Um...uh...42! Eugh, No! Triangle! Guh, Meatballs! Screwdrivers! Pajamas! (Cries)

SpongeBob: (Confident) I hear ya, Patrick! Let's go find that drain!

Patrick: (Stops crying.) OK. (Cuts to a scene where SpongeBob and Patrick pack their stuff.)

SpongeBob: OK, Patrick, let's start walking! (Walks)

Patrick: Oh, no, thanks. I'm not into the whole "walking" thing. (SpongeBob stops walking and faces towards Patrick.)

SpongeBob: But how will we ever get to the drain?

Patrick: We'll wait for it to come to us.

SpongeBob: (Thinks up an idea.) ...I know! (Takes out his bubble bottle and creates a bus-shaped bubble) What do you think? (Camera shows the newly created bubble bus.)

Patrick: Wow! (The two go in and take their seats.)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Road trip! Whoo-hoo! (The bus pops loudly and the two fell.)

SpongeBob: Well, that's out. (They both think again.) I know! (Uses his bubble bottle again and creates large bubbles as balloons for Patrick's home rock. The two then fly, but the bubbles get popped by a group of scallops. They scream and the rock falls down. The camera cuts to Squidward walking.)

Squidward: Another miserable day...(Groans with displeasure. He hears some distant screaming and a shadow casts over him.) Ooh? (Looks up and gets crushed by Patrick's rock.)

SpongeBob: Now what? (They both think once more.)

Patrick: Oh! I know exactly what to do! (Takes the remaining ropes from the bubble balloons and uses them as a horse rein and bites onto them. He them acts like a horse and neighs. Finally, he proceeds to pull the rock like a horse carriage. The rock uncovers a squashed Squidward from the ground.)

Squidward: Oh, that's better...

SpongeBob: Great idea, Patrick! We'll be there in no time! (Patrick hits something.)

Patrick: Ouch! Oh...(Sees the drain.) Hey! I found it!

SpongeBob: Wow, good job.

Patrick: Let's pull it.

SpongeBob: (Frighten) What!? Why would we do that!?

Patrick: Well, that was the whole point of coming here, wasn't it?

SpongeBob: No! We came to see if it is real.

Patrick: Well, how do we know this isn't a fake?

SpongeBob: We...we don't know...

Patrick: We won't know unless we pull it.

SpongeBob: But, if we pull it, and if it's real, the world may end.

Patrick: And if we don't, we'll never know. (Patrick slowly reaches for the plug when suddenly, Mr. Krabs and Plankton shouted.)

Mr. Krabs and Plankton: NOOOOOOO!! (They both quickly run up to SpongeBob and Patrick.)

Mr. Krabs: Boys, there's more to that story of the drain plug. You see...

Plankton: ...we were the two ding-a-lings who pulled that plug. (SpongeBob and Patrick gasped.)

Mr. Krabs: That's right. Plankton and I were wandering around... (Cuts to a scene with a younger Mr. Krabs and Plankton nonchalantly walking to the drain plug and pulling it; the drain them pulled everything and everyone from the entire ocean.) ...You see, we had to lie in order for you to keep away from it.

Plankton: We just didn't want for you to make the same mistake we made.

SpongeBob: Phew! That was a close one!

Patrick: Yeah. We almost messed up big time. (Inhales and exhales in relief, but accidentally pulls the plug.)

SpongeBob: Huh? (Sees the drain plug already pulled out. The drain then starts pulling everything from the entire ocean. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton then screams and flees. Patrick does the same, but the four gets sucked into the drain. Then, the drain pulls every building and citizen from Bikini Bottom. The entire scenario turns out to be a story told by SpongeBob. The scene cuts to Patrick's bedroom.)

Patrick: (Screams) That's the most realistic scary story I've ever heard. (The sound of the drain plug pulled out and draining the ocean is heard.)

SpongeBob: Guy of most already