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Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 5

2017-05-24T21:42:20Z

98.232.107.202:

==Dialogue==

===Chapter 33:Alive===

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, we're alive! (The pirates cheer and people cheer as the back to movie to show SpongeBob and Patrick) Let's get that crown.

'''Patrick:''' Right. (He and Sponge rush over to the crown and get ready to pick it up)

'''SpongeBob:''' On three, Patrick. Ready? One, two, three. (Scuba diver picks up crown) Hey, it's lighter than I thought. Huh?

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'''Cyclops:''' ROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The camera pulls up to reveal that the Scuba diver is the one that picked it up. Suddenly, all of the sea creatures in the room begin to shake and come back to life because of the water sprinklers)

===Chapter 34: Cyclops holding the King's Crown/The bag of Winds===

'''Patrick:''' What's happening?

'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know. Look! (1,007 sea creatures, Including Mr. Puff, The Spanish band, the seahorses and three of Patrick's relatives reanimate. Some Octopuses/Jellyfish three Lobsters that bear a strong resemblance to Mr. Krabs, Squirt Glue And at the Scuba diver and the other sea creatures attack the Scuba diver and SpongeBob and Pat escape) Come on, Patrick. Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. (The two carry the crown outside to the beach)

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you still have that bag of winds?

'''Patrick:''' I sure do. (Patrick shows a lump on his butt) Here you go. (Pulls out the bag.
SpongeBob stares at him, wide-eyed) What?

'''SpongeBob:''' Nothing, nothing... Okay, let's go over the instructions. (Reads the paper with the instructions on it) Let's see, it says here, "Step one: Point bag away from home. "

'''Patrick:''' OK. (Points bag at Shell City)

'''SpongeBob:''' "Step two: Plant feet firmly on ground. "

'''Patrick:''' Right! (Plants his feet in the sand)

'''SpongeBob:''' "Step three: Remove string from bag, releasing the winds. "

'''Patrick:''' Check. (Pulls the string tied around the bag, and the bag flies out of his arm)

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, that seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. All right, let's do it for real.

'''Patrick:''' Uh, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' No, no, stop! (He chases after the bag)

'''Patrick:''' I was bad, I'm sorry!

'''SpongeBob:''' Please, bag.

'''Patrick:''' I'm sorry, I just thought... It was a mistake!

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, no. How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?

===Chapter 35:The S.S David===

'''David Hasselhoff:''' (first lines) I can take you there. (Sponge and Pat spot David Hasselhoff running towards them)

'''SpongeBob:''' Who are you?

'''David Hasselhoff:''' I'm David Hasselhoff.

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Hooray!

'''SpongeBob:''' So where's your boat?

'''David Hasselhoff:''' Boat? (He laughs heartily)

(The next scene depicts SpongeBob and Patrick riding toward Bikini Bottom)

'''SpongeBob:''' Go, Hasselhoff!

'''Patrick:''' Next stop, Bikini Bottom.

===Chapter 36:The Day That Krabs Fries===

(The scene back at the Bikini Bottom as the scene Plankton's slaves are still under control)

'''Bikini Bottom Residents:''' All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton.

(Inside the Krusty Krab 2, Plankton is walking in)

'''Peep:''' Well, Krabs, you know what today is? (Looks at calendar. The date is wrong) Sorry about this, calendar. (Changes it) March 14th. Wait, that's not right. It should say "The day that Krabs fries!" (Looks out the window and sees King Neptune and Princess Mindy arrive) Oooh! Guess who's here.

===Chapter 37:Return of the Angry Assassin===

(Above the ocean)

'''David Hasselhoff:''' (swimming with SpongeBob and Patrick)

(The scene changes to guy on the boat and Hasselhoff keep swimming)

'''Guy:''' Whoa. (falls down on the water)

(The scene cut of Hasselhoff keep swimming toward Bikini Bottom)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now.

'''Patrick:''' Unidentified object off the hindquarters.

'''SpongeBob:''' It looks like... (The diver's boot emerges from the ocean)

'''SpongeBob:''' Bigger boot. But how? (The boot stops behind Hasselhoff’s foot. It lifts back to reveal a smudged, green blob, very similar to Plankton earlier when he got stepped on by SpongeBob. From it, Dennis reforms, his sunglasses smashed through, his teeth sharp and his clothes ripped. Then, he peels himself off and lands on Hasselhoff's foot.) Ah! Dennis!

'''Dennis:''' (smiles in an evil manner) Did you miss me?

===Chapter 38:Stalling===

(At the Krusty Krab 2, Neptune and Mindy arrive)

'''Plankton:''' (He has popcorn and a drink with him. He is sitting on a small chair) This is the best seat in the house. All right, Neptune, let's get it on!

'''Neptune:''' Eugene Krabs, your six-day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (Krabs is rapidly sweating mounds of ice cubes) Please, I didn't do it!

'''Neptune:''' There is nothing else I can do.

'''Mindy:''' You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.

'''Neptune:''' Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time... (muttering) What? (Realizes what he just said, then turns to Mindy) Mindy!!! Will you butt out?! I won't have you stalling this execution.

'''Mindy:''' Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.

'''Neptune:''' Yes, you are.

'''Mindy:''' No, I'm not.

'''Neptune:''' Yes, you are. You're doing it right now.

'''Mindy:''' I'm stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Yes.

'''Mindy:''' Stalling?

'''Neptune:''' Stalling!

'''Mindy:''' Stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Stalling!

'''Plankton:''' Oh, boy.

===Chapter 39:The REAL boat battle===

(Back above the ocean, Dennis has appeared. He takes off his smashed through shades and throws them in the sea.)

'''Dennis:''' Now, where were we?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, run!

'''Patrick:''' No, I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop... (Dennis throws Patrick towards Hasselhoff's feet) Run, SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs. Dennis pulls out a knife, which he accidentally stabs Hasselhoff in the butt with.)

'''David Hasselhoff:''' Ooh. Take it easy back there, fellas.

(SpongeBob tries run from Dennis, but he's coming closer and closer.)

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, be careful.

'''Dennis:''' Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis always gets his man.

'''SpongeBob:''' Never!!!!!!! (Jumps to Hasselhoff's other foot dramatically) Yeah! I did it!

'''Dennis:''' You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip them out of you.

'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know what Plankton's paying you,(Takes out a pile of Goober Dollars) but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. (Dennis swipes the dollars)

'''Dennis:''' It's gonna take a lot more than five...(looks at the dollars) What is this?

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, That, sir, is five Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober (throws the dollars away and grabs SpongeBob)... I got bubbles. Fun at parties. (sprays soapy bubbles into Dennis' eyes which causes them to swell up and go red.)

'''Dennis:''' My eyes! (Throws SpongeBob)

'''Patrick:''' I got you, SpongeBob! (Catches him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks, buddy. (Dennis threatens to squish them) Uh, thanks a lot.

'''Dennis:''' (Last lines) That's it! I'm through messing around! See you later, fools! (sees the boat) Huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

'''Patrick:''' (''Dennis suddenly crashes with a floating sailboat and falls into the ocean'') See ya.

===Chapter 40:End of the stalling===
(Inside the Krusty Krab 2)

'''Mindy:''' So you think....I'm....stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Aaaaaagggghhhhh! Where am I, in crazy town? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!! You are to wait in the carriage until the execution is done!!

'''Mindy:''' But, Daddy...

'''Neptune:''' '''NOW!!!''' (She gets on the elevator and press the floor button. Neptune closes the elevator)

'''Mindy:''' (In a Sprixie Princess voice) HELP!!! Oh, SpongeBob, wherever you are, you better hurry.

===Chapter 41:It's not too late to go to Bikini Bottom===
(Back above the ocean, Hasselhoff swim to [[Bikini Atoll]])

'''Hasselhoff:''' (Stand up) Okay, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom's directly below.

'''SpongeBob:''' But we'll never be able to float down in time.

'''Hasselhoff:''' Who said anything about floating? (Pecs turn into launchers)

'''Announcer:''' ''Initiating launch sequence.''

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' What the...? (All systems are green in the chest)

'''SpongeBob:''' Did you see that?

'''Patrick:''' The control.

'''Hasselhoff:''' All hands on deck.

'''Announcer:''' ''10 seconds to liftoff, 9, 8...''

(The Sea starts to shake)

===Chapter 42:Help!===

'''Neptune:''' (Lights his trident) Eugene Krabs, the time has come...

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) Help!

'''Plankton:''' Yes.

'''Announcer:''' ''...7, 6, 5...''

'''Neptune:''' ....for you....

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) Help me!

'''Plankton:''' (Pulls Antennae) Yes!

'''Announcer:''' ''...4, 3, 2...''

'''Neptune:''' ....to fry!

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) HELP!!!

'''Plankton:''' (Wide-eyed) Yes!!!

'''Announcer:''' ''... one.'' (SpongeBob, Patrick, and the crown are launched in the ocean and back down to Bikini Bottom.)

===Chapter 43: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!===

'''Spongebob and Patrick:''' AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' NO! (Just then, Sponge and Pat fall through the roof. Krabs is about to be fried, but the crown blocks the ray, and it is blasted up to land, where Hasselhoff is lying down)

'''Hasselhoff:''' (Last lines) You done good, Hasselhoff. You done... (He is blasted with Neptune's ray and survives) ow.

===Chapter 43:Saved by the Sponge...Really!===

'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray! We made it!

'''Patrick:''' We made it!

(SpongeBob and Patrick laugh and jump with excitement)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, I he! We're free! I had own way!

'''Neptune:''' My crown! My beautiful crown!

'''Mindy:''' (gets out of the elevator) SpongeBob, Patrick, I knew you could do it! (Hugs them. Plankton then starts clapping slowly)

'''Plankton:''' (Sarcastically) Oh, yes. Well done, SpongeBoob.

'''SpongeBob:''' (Sarcastically) Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.

'''Plankton:''' Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella! (Pulls a cord that is hanging above him)

'''SpongeBob, Mindy and Patrick:''' Umbrella? (Turn to Neptune, who is kissing his crown. The ceiling opens up and a helmet falls out. It lands on Neptune's head. He struggles to get it off)

Plankton: "fuc me dady"

===Chapter 45:Goofy Goober ROCK!===

'''Plankton:''' Cheated? (Now to Neptune) Hold on there, baldy. (Now to SpongeBob) Oh, grow up.
What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You'd never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because you cheated?

'''Plankton:''' No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid!

'''SpongeBob:''' I guess you're right, Plankton. I am just a kid.

'''Plankton:''' Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.

'''SpongeBob:''' And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.

'''Plankton:''' That's right. Okay, Neptune...

'''SpongeBob:''' And no amount of mermaid magic...(Turns to Mindy)...or managerial promotion...
(Turns to the light blue Mr. Krabs)...or some other third thing...can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.

'''Plankton:''' That's great. Now, get back against the wall.

'''SpongeBob:''' (over microphone) But that's okay.

'''Plankton:''' What? What's going on?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City,
and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back.

'''Plankton:''' All right, we get the point.

'''SpongeBob:''' So, yeah, I'm a kid. (Dry ice smoke surrounds Plankton, and a spotlight appears on SpongeBob.) And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!

'''Plankton:''' What? (coughs from the smoke) What's going on here?

'''SpongeBob:''' But most of all, I'm...

'''Plankton:''' Okay, settle down. Take it easy.

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm... I'm...

'''Plankton:''' What the scallop?!????!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'''SpongeBob:''' (Bursts into song) I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock! (Plankton is flung into the wall)
You're a Goofy Goober! Rock!
We're all Goofy Goobers! Rock!
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober! Rock!
Put your toys away,
Well, all I gotta say when you tell me not to play,
I say no way.
No way!
No, no freaking way!
I'm a kid, you say, when you say
I'm a kid I say,
"Say it again" and then I say thanks. Thanks!
Thank you very much!
So if you're thinking that you'd like to be like me,
Go ahead and try.
The kid inside will set you free!
I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock!

'''Plankton:''' (He is recovering from being flung into the wall) What's happening? (Sees SpongeBob dancing) His dance moves are impressive, but I'm in control. (To slaves) Seize him!

'''People:''' All hail Plankton. (Crowd in around SpongeBob. A few seconds later, SpongeBob bursts out in a wizard outfit, playing an electric guitar. As he plays it, its headstock lights up and a laser beam blasts out and destroys a slave's helmet.)

'''Fred:''' (After SpongeBob zaps his helmet, and it comes off)I'm free. I've been freed!

'''Plankton:''' What? (SpongeBob zaps more helmets off) No! (SpongeBob twirls into action, zapping even more helmets off) My precious helmets!

'''Squidward:''' Huh?

'''Mrs. Puff:''' Oh!

'''Sandy:''' Yee-haw!

'''Gary:''' Meow.

'''Plankton:''' His chops are too righteous. The helmets can't handle this level of rock 'n' roll.
Karen, do something. Karen? (Looks for her. She laughs, surfing through the crowd. He growls) All right, that's the last straw. Neptune, I command you to...(Neptune's helmet comes off. Mindy hands him his crown)

'''Mindy:''' Here you go, Daddy.

'''Plankton:''' I better get out of here. (Runs for the door, but a crowd of freed fish burst in)

'''Sandals:''' Look, it's the wizard who saved us.

'''Plankton:''' Out of my way, fools. (The freed fish ignore him and rush to see SpongeBob, running over Plankton in the process)Ow! Ow! Ow! Ouch! (yelping)

===Chapter 46:Bikini Bottom Is Free===

'''Plankton:''' (He is now squished into the texture of cookie dough, covered with shoe-prints. The policemen pick him up and put him in a cage) Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the helmets and the big monuments...Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? (His cage is put in a police car, which drives away) I will destroy all of you! (Everyone that was watching)

'''Neptune:''' Well, Mindy, I have to admit, you were right. Your compassion for these sea creatures proved a most admirable trait. Without it, I would have never again seen my beloved crown. I think you're going to make a fine ruler of the sea one day. Now, let's go home. (Turns
to leave, but is stopped by Mindy)

'''Mindy:''' Daddy, haven't you forgotten something?

'''Neptune:''' Huh? What? Oh, uh... Oh, yeah. Eugene Krabs, I forgot to unfreeze you. (He does so, but Mr. Krabs is pink instead of red)

'''Mr. Krabs (pink):''' What the...?

'''Neptune:''' Oops. I guess I had it set to "real boy" ending. (Sets it right) Mr. Krabs turns red) ''Oh, I'm sorry for falsely freezing you, Krabs. And may I say, sir, you are a very lucky fellow to have in your employ such a brave, faithful, and heroic young lad. Where is he, anyway?''

===Chapter 47:Hooray for SpongeBob===

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm up here. (We see him hanging from ropes)

'''Patrick:''' I'm on it. (Gets SpongeBob down)

'''Neptune:''' Go to him now, Krabs. Embrace him. (Krabs walks over to SpongeBob)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, me boy. I'm sorry I ever doubted ye. That's a mistake I won't make again.

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Mr. Krabs, you old soft-serve. (They hug)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I should've done six days ago. Mr. Squidward! Front and center, please. (Squidward comes)I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin. (Looks at SpongeBob)

'''Squidward:''' I couldn't agree more, sir.

'''Harold:''' Hooray for SpongeBob!

(Cheering)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.

'''Squidward:''' I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you crazy? (Grabs manager pin)I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down! (Squidward's eyes widen) Manager, this is the greatest day of my life! (The credits begin rolling as songs play)

===Chapter 48:Back At The Theater===
'''Captain:''' You know. David Hasselhoff is a great artist.

'''Usher:''' Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.

'''Pirates:''' (groans)

'''Captain:''' What? Say that again, if you dare. (Points his sword at her)

'''Parrot:''' Squawk.

'''Usher:''' You folks have to leave.

'''Captain:''' Okay.

(Everyone leaves the theater)

'''Pirate:''' Sorry about that.

(The usher sweeps up the popcorn, humming and the Paramount Pictures logo appears and then fades out)

Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 5

2017-05-24T21:41:35Z

98.232.107.202: /* Chapter 33:Alive */

==Dialogue==

===Chapter 33:Alive===

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, we're alive! (The pirates cheer and people cheer as the back to movie to show SpongeBob and Patrick) Let's get that crown.

'''Patrick:''' Right. (He and Sponge rush over to the crown and get ready to pick it up)

'''SpongeBob:''' On three, Patrick. Ready? One, two, three. (Scuba diver picks up crown) Hey, it's lighter than I thought. Huh?

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'''Cyclops:''' ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The camera pulls up to reveal that the Scuba diver is the one that picked it up. Suddenly, all of the sea creatures in the room begin to shake and come back to life because of the water sprinklers)

===Chapter 34: Cyclops holding the King's Crown/The bag of Winds===

'''Patrick:''' What's happening?

'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know. Look! (1,007 sea creatures, Including Mr. Puff, The Spanish band, the seahorses and three of Patrick's relatives reanimate. Some Octopuses/Jellyfish three Lobsters that bear a strong resemblance to Mr. Krabs, Squirt Glue And at the Scuba diver and the other sea creatures attack the Scuba diver and SpongeBob and Pat escape) Come on, Patrick. Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. (The two carry the crown outside to the beach)

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you still have that bag of winds?

'''Patrick:''' I sure do. (Patrick shows a lump on his butt) Here you go. (Pulls out the bag.
SpongeBob stares at him, wide-eyed) What?

'''SpongeBob:''' Nothing, nothing... Okay, let's go over the instructions. (Reads the paper with the instructions on it) Let's see, it says here, "Step one: Point bag away from home. "

'''Patrick:''' OK. (Points bag at Shell City)

'''SpongeBob:''' "Step two: Plant feet firmly on ground. "

'''Patrick:''' Right! (Plants his feet in the sand)

'''SpongeBob:''' "Step three: Remove string from bag, releasing the winds. "

'''Patrick:''' Check. (Pulls the string tied around the bag, and the bag flies out of his arm)

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, that seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. All right, let's do it for real.

'''Patrick:''' Uh, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' No, no, stop! (He chases after the bag)

'''Patrick:''' I was bad, I'm sorry!

'''SpongeBob:''' Please, bag.

'''Patrick:''' I'm sorry, I just thought... It was a mistake!

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, no. How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?

===Chapter 35:The S.S David===

'''David Hasselhoff:''' (first lines) I can take you there. (Sponge and Pat spot David Hasselhoff running towards them)

'''SpongeBob:''' Who are you?

'''David Hasselhoff:''' I'm David Hasselhoff.

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Hooray!

'''SpongeBob:''' So where's your boat?

'''David Hasselhoff:''' Boat? (He laughs heartily)

(The next scene depicts SpongeBob and Patrick riding toward Bikini Bottom)

'''SpongeBob:''' Go, Hasselhoff!

'''Patrick:''' Next stop, Bikini Bottom.

===Chapter 36:The Day That Krabs Fries===

(The scene back at the Bikini Bottom as the scene Plankton's slaves are still under control)

'''Bikini Bottom Residents:''' All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton.

(Inside the Krusty Krab 2, Plankton is walking in)

'''Peep:''' Well, Krabs, you know what today is? (Looks at calendar. The date is wrong) Sorry about this, calendar. (Changes it) March 14th. Wait, that's not right. It should say "The day that Krabs fries!" (Looks out the window and sees King Neptune and Princess Mindy arrive) Oooh! Guess who's here.

===Chapter 37:Return of the Angry Assassin===

(Above the ocean)

'''David Hasselhoff:''' (swimming with SpongeBob and Patrick)

(The scene changes to guy on the boat and Hasselhoff keep swimming)

'''Guy:''' Whoa. (falls down on the water)

(The scene cut of Hasselhoff keep swimming toward Bikini Bottom)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now.

'''Patrick:''' Unidentified object off the hindquarters.

'''SpongeBob:''' It looks like... (The diver's boot emerges from the ocean)

'''SpongeBob:''' Bigger boot. But how? (The boot stops behind Hasselhoff’s foot. It lifts back to reveal a smudged, green blob, very similar to Plankton earlier when he got stepped on by SpongeBob. From it, Dennis reforms, his sunglasses smashed through, his teeth sharp and his clothes ripped. Then, he peels himself off and lands on Hasselhoff's foot.) Ah! Dennis!

'''Dennis:''' (smiles in an evil manner) Did you miss me?

===Chapter 38:Stalling===

(At the Krusty Krab 2, Neptune and Mindy arrive)

'''Plankton:''' (He has popcorn and a drink with him. He is sitting on a small chair) This is the best seat in the house. All right, Neptune, let's get it on!

'''Neptune:''' Eugene Krabs, your six-day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (Krabs is rapidly sweating mounds of ice cubes) Please, I didn't do it!

'''Neptune:''' There is nothing else I can do.

'''Mindy:''' You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.

'''Neptune:''' Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time... (muttering) What? (Realizes what he just said, then turns to Mindy) Mindy!!! Will you butt out?! I won't have you stalling this execution.

'''Mindy:''' Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.

'''Neptune:''' Yes, you are.

'''Mindy:''' No, I'm not.

'''Neptune:''' Yes, you are. You're doing it right now.

'''Mindy:''' I'm stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Yes.

'''Mindy:''' Stalling?

'''Neptune:''' Stalling!

'''Mindy:''' Stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Stalling!

'''Plankton:''' Oh, boy.

===Chapter 39:The REAL boat battle===

(Back above the ocean, Dennis has appeared. He takes off his smashed through shades and throws them in the sea.)

'''Dennis:''' Now, where were we?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, run!

'''Patrick:''' No, I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop... (Dennis throws Patrick towards Hasselhoff's feet) Run, SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs. Dennis pulls out a knife, which he accidentally stabs Hasselhoff in the butt with.)

'''David Hasselhoff:''' Ooh. Take it easy back there, fellas.

(SpongeBob tries run from Dennis, but he's coming closer and closer.)

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, be careful.

'''Dennis:''' Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis always gets his man.

'''SpongeBob:''' Never!!!!!!! (Jumps to Hasselhoff's other foot dramatically) Yeah! I did it!

'''Dennis:''' You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip them out of you.

'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know what Plankton's paying you,(Takes out a pile of Goober Dollars) but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. (Dennis swipes the dollars)

'''Dennis:''' It's gonna take a lot more than five...(looks at the dollars) What is this?

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, That, sir, is five Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober (throws the dollars away and grabs SpongeBob)... I got bubbles. Fun at parties. (sprays soapy bubbles into Dennis' eyes which causes them to swell up and go red.)

'''Dennis:''' My eyes! (Throws SpongeBob)

'''Patrick:''' I got you, SpongeBob! (Catches him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks, buddy. (Dennis threatens to squish them) Uh, thanks a lot.

'''Dennis:''' (Last lines) That's it! I'm through messing around! See you later, fools! (sees the boat) Huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

'''Patrick:''' (''Dennis suddenly crashes with a floating sailboat and falls into the ocean'') See ya.

===Chapter 40:End of the stalling===
(Inside the Krusty Krab 2)

'''Mindy:''' So you think....I'm....stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Aaaaaagggghhhhh! Where am I, in crazy town? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!! You are to wait in the carriage until the execution is done!!

'''Mindy:''' But, Daddy...

'''Neptune:''' '''NOW!!!''' (She gets on the elevator and press the floor button. Neptune closes the elevator)

'''Mindy:''' (In a Sprixie Princess voice) HELP!!! Oh, SpongeBob, wherever you are, you better hurry.

===Chapter 41:It's not too late to go to Bikini Bottom===
(Back above the ocean, Hasselhoff swim to [[Bikini Atoll]])

'''Hasselhoff:''' (Stand up) Okay, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom's directly below.

'''SpongeBob:''' But we'll never be able to float down in time.

'''Hasselhoff:''' Who said anything about floating? (Pecs turn into launchers)

'''Announcer:''' ''Initiating launch sequence.''

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' What the...? (All systems are green in the chest)

'''SpongeBob:''' Did you see that?

'''Patrick:''' The control.

'''Hasselhoff:''' All hands on deck.

'''Announcer:''' ''10 seconds to liftoff, 9, 8...''

(The Sea starts to shake)

===Chapter 42:Help!===

'''Neptune:''' (Lights his trident) Eugene Krabs, the time has come...

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) Help!

'''Plankton:''' Yes.

'''Announcer:''' ''...7, 6, 5...''

'''Neptune:''' ....for you....

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) Help me!

'''Plankton:''' (Pulls Antennae) Yes!

'''Announcer:''' ''...4, 3, 2...''

'''Neptune:''' ....to fry!

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) HELP!!!

'''Plankton:''' (Wide-eyed) Yes!!!

'''Announcer:''' ''... one.'' (SpongeBob, Patrick, and the crown are launched in the ocean and back down to Bikini Bottom.)

===Chapter 43: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!===

'''Spongebob and Patrick:''' AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' NO! (Just then, Sponge and Pat fall through the roof. Krabs is about to be fried, but the crown blocks the ray, and it is blasted up to land, where Hasselhoff is lying down)

'''Hasselhoff:''' (Last lines) You done good, Hasselhoff. You done... (He is blasted with Neptune's ray and survives) ow.

===Chapter 43:Saved by the Sponge...Really!===

'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray! We made it!

'''Patrick:''' We made it!

(SpongeBob and Patrick laugh and jump with excitement)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, I he! We're free! I had own way!

'''Neptune:''' My crown! My beautiful crown!

'''Mindy:''' (gets out of the elevator) SpongeBob, Patrick, I knew you could do it! (Hugs them. Plankton then starts clapping slowly)

'''Plankton:''' (Sarcastically) Oh, yes. Well done, SpongeBoob.

'''SpongeBob:''' (Sarcastically) Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.

'''Plankton:''' Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella! (Pulls a cord that is hanging above him)

'''SpongeBob, Mindy and Patrick:''' Umbrella? (Turn to Neptune, who is kissing his crown. The ceiling opens up and a helmet falls out. It lands on Neptune's head. He struggles to get it off)

Plankton: "fuc me dady"

===Chapter 45:Goofy Goober ROCK!===

'''Plankton:''' Cheated? (Now to Neptune) Hold on there, baldy. (Now to SpongeBob) Oh, grow up.
What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You'd never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because you cheated?

'''Plankton:''' No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid!

'''SpongeBob:''' I guess you're right, Plankton. I am just a kid.

'''Plankton:''' Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.

'''SpongeBob:''' And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.

'''Plankton:''' That's right. Okay, Neptune...

'''SpongeBob:''' And no amount of mermaid magic...(Turns to Mindy)...or managerial promotion...
(Turns to the light blue Mr. Krabs)...or some other third thing...can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.

'''Plankton:''' That's great. Now, get back against the wall.

'''SpongeBob:''' (over microphone) But that's okay.

'''Plankton:''' What? What's going on?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City,
and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back.

'''Plankton:''' All right, we get the point.

'''SpongeBob:''' So, yeah, I'm a kid. (Dry ice smoke surrounds Plankton, and a spotlight appears on SpongeBob.) And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!

'''Plankton:''' What? (coughs from the smoke) What's going on here?

'''SpongeBob:''' But most of all, I'm...

'''Plankton:''' Okay, settle down. Take it easy.

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm... I'm...

'''Plankton:''' What the scallop?!????!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'''SpongeBob:''' (Bursts into song) I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock! (Plankton is flung into the wall)
You're a Goofy Goober! Rock!
We're all Goofy Goobers! Rock!
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober! Rock!
Put your toys away,
Well, all I gotta say when you tell me not to play,
I say no way.
No way!
No, no freaking way!
I'm a kid, you say, when you say
I'm a kid I say,
"Say it again" and then I say thanks. Thanks!
Thank you very much!
So if you're thinking that you'd like to be like me,
Go ahead and try.
The kid inside will set you free!
I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock!

'''Plankton:''' (He is recovering from being flung into the wall) What's happening? (Sees SpongeBob dancing) His dance moves are impressive, but I'm in control. (To slaves) Seize him!

'''People:''' All hail Plankton. (Crowd in around SpongeBob. A few seconds later, SpongeBob bursts out in a wizard outfit, playing an electric guitar. As he plays it, its headstock lights up and a laser beam blasts out and destroys a slave's helmet.)

'''Fred:''' (After SpongeBob zaps his helmet, and it comes off)I'm free. I've been freed!

'''Plankton:''' What? (SpongeBob zaps more helmets off) No! (SpongeBob twirls into action, zapping even more helmets off) My precious helmets!

'''Squidward:''' Huh?

'''Mrs. Puff:''' Oh!

'''Sandy:''' Yee-haw!

'''Gary:''' Meow.

'''Plankton:''' His chops are too righteous. The helmets can't handle this level of rock 'n' roll.
Karen, do something. Karen? (Looks for her. She laughs, surfing through the crowd. He growls) All right, that's the last straw. Neptune, I command you to...(Neptune's helmet comes off. Mindy hands him his crown)

'''Mindy:''' Here you go, Daddy.

'''Plankton:''' I better get out of here. (Runs for the door, but a crowd of freed fish burst in)

'''Sandals:''' Look, it's the wizard who saved us.

'''Plankton:''' Out of my way, fools. (The freed fish ignore him and rush to see SpongeBob, running over Plankton in the process)Ow! Ow! Ow! Ouch! (yelping)

===Chapter 46:Bikini Bottom Is Free===

'''Plankton:''' (He is now squished into the texture of cookie dough, covered with shoe-prints. The policemen pick him up and put him in a cage) Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the helmets and the big monuments...Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? (His cage is put in a police car, which drives away) I will destroy all of you! (Everyone that was watching)

'''Neptune:''' Well, Mindy, I have to admit, you were right. Your compassion for these sea creatures proved a most admirable trait. Without it, I would have never again seen my beloved crown. I think you're going to make a fine ruler of the sea one day. Now, let's go home. (Turns
to leave, but is stopped by Mindy)

'''Mindy:''' Daddy, haven't you forgotten something?

'''Neptune:''' Huh? What? Oh, uh... Oh, yeah. Eugene Krabs, I forgot to unfreeze you. (He does so, but Mr. Krabs is pink instead of red)

'''Mr. Krabs (pink):''' What the...?

'''Neptune:''' Oops. I guess I had it set to "real boy" ending. (Sets it right) Mr. Krabs turns red) ''Oh, I'm sorry for falsely freezing you, Krabs. And may I say, sir, you are a very lucky fellow to have in your employ such a brave, faithful, and heroic young lad. Where is he, anyway?''

===Chapter 47:Hooray for SpongeBob===

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm up here. (We see him hanging from ropes)

'''Patrick:''' I'm on it. (Gets SpongeBob down)

'''Neptune:''' Go to him now, Krabs. Embrace him. (Krabs walks over to SpongeBob)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, me boy. I'm sorry I ever doubted ye. That's a mistake I won't make again.

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Mr. Krabs, you old soft-serve. (They hug)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I should've done six days ago. Mr. Squidward! Front and center, please. (Squidward comes)I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin. (Looks at SpongeBob)

'''Squidward:''' I couldn't agree more, sir.

'''Harold:''' Hooray for SpongeBob!

(Cheering)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.

'''Squidward:''' I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you crazy? (Grabs manager pin)I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down! (Squidward's eyes widen) Manager, this is the greatest day of my life! (The credits begin rolling as songs play)

===Chapter 48:Back At The Theater===
'''Captain:''' You know. David Hasselhoff is a great artist.

'''Usher:''' Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.

'''Pirates:''' (groans)

'''Captain:''' What? Say that again, if you dare. (Points his sword at her)

'''Parrot:''' Squawk.

'''Usher:''' You folks have to leave.

'''Captain:''' Okay.

(Everyone leaves the theater)

'''Pirate:''' Sorry about that.

(The usher sweeps up the popcorn, humming and the Paramount Pictures logo appears and then fades out)

Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 5

2017-05-24T21:38:42Z

98.232.107.202:

==Dialogue==

===Chapter 33:Alive===

'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, we're alive! (The pirates cheer and people cheer as the back to movie to show SpongeBob and Patrick) Let's get that crown.

'''Patrick:''' Right. (He and Sponge rush over to the crown and get ready to pick it up)

'''SpongeBob:''' On three, Patrick. Ready? One, two, three. (Scuba diver picks up crown) Hey, it's lighter than I thought. Huh?

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'''Cyclops:''' ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The camera pulls up to reveal that the Scuba diver is the one that picked it up. Suddenly, all of the sea creatures in the room begin to shake and come back to life because of the water sprinklers)

===Chapter 34: Cyclops holding the King's Crown/The bag of Winds===

'''Patrick:''' What's happening?

'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know. Look! (1,007 sea creatures, Including Mr. Puff, The Spanish band, the seahorses and three of Patrick's relatives reanimate. Some Octopuses/Jellyfish three Lobsters that bear a strong resemblance to Mr. Krabs, Squirt Glue And at the Scuba diver and the other sea creatures attack the Scuba diver and SpongeBob and Pat escape) Come on, Patrick. Let's get this crown back to Bikini Bottom. (The two carry the crown outside to the beach)

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you still have that bag of winds?

'''Patrick:''' I sure do. (Patrick shows a lump on his butt) Here you go. (Pulls out the bag.
SpongeBob stares at him, wide-eyed) What?

'''SpongeBob:''' Nothing, nothing... Okay, let's go over the instructions. (Reads the paper with the instructions on it) Let's see, it says here, "Step one: Point bag away from home. "

'''Patrick:''' OK. (Points bag at Shell City)

'''SpongeBob:''' "Step two: Plant feet firmly on ground. "

'''Patrick:''' Right! (Plants his feet in the sand)

'''SpongeBob:''' "Step three: Remove string from bag, releasing the winds. "

'''Patrick:''' Check. (Pulls the string tied around the bag, and the bag flies out of his arm)

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, that seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. All right, let's do it for real.

'''Patrick:''' Uh, SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' No, no, stop! (He chases after the bag)

'''Patrick:''' I was bad, I'm sorry!

'''SpongeBob:''' Please, bag.

'''Patrick:''' I'm sorry, I just thought... It was a mistake!

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, no. How will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?

===Chapter 35:The S.S David===

'''David Hasselhoff:''' (first lines) I can take you there. (Sponge and Pat spot David Hasselhoff running towards them)

'''SpongeBob:''' Who are you?

'''David Hasselhoff:''' I'm David Hasselhoff.

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Hooray!

'''SpongeBob:''' So where's your boat?

'''David Hasselhoff:''' Boat? (He laughs heartily)

(The next scene depicts SpongeBob and Patrick riding toward Bikini Bottom)

'''SpongeBob:''' Go, Hasselhoff!

'''Patrick:''' Next stop, Bikini Bottom.

===Chapter 36:The Day That Krabs Fries===

(The scene back at the Bikini Bottom as the scene Plankton's slaves are still under control)

'''Bikini Bottom Residents:''' All hail Plankton. All hail Plankton.

(Inside the Krusty Krab 2, Plankton is walking in)

'''Peep:''' Well, Krabs, you know what today is? (Looks at calendar. The date is wrong) Sorry about this, calendar. (Changes it) March 14th. Wait, that's not right. It should say "The day that Krabs fries!" (Looks out the window and sees King Neptune and Princess Mindy arrive) Oooh! Guess who's here.

===Chapter 37:Return of the Angry Assassin===

(Above the ocean)

'''David Hasselhoff:''' (swimming with SpongeBob and Patrick)

(The scene changes to guy on the boat and Hasselhoff keep swimming)

'''Guy:''' Whoa. (falls down on the water)

(The scene cut of Hasselhoff keep swimming toward Bikini Bottom)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now.

'''Patrick:''' Unidentified object off the hindquarters.

'''SpongeBob:''' It looks like... (The diver's boot emerges from the ocean)

'''SpongeBob:''' Bigger boot. But how? (The boot stops behind Hasselhoff’s foot. It lifts back to reveal a smudged, green blob, very similar to Plankton earlier when he got stepped on by SpongeBob. From it, Dennis reforms, his sunglasses smashed through, his teeth sharp and his clothes ripped. Then, he peels himself off and lands on Hasselhoff's foot.) Ah! Dennis!

'''Dennis:''' (smiles in an evil manner) Did you miss me?

===Chapter 38:Stalling===

(At the Krusty Krab 2, Neptune and Mindy arrive)

'''Plankton:''' (He has popcorn and a drink with him. He is sitting on a small chair) This is the best seat in the house. All right, Neptune, let's get it on!

'''Neptune:''' Eugene Krabs, your six-day reprieve is up, and it is time for you to die.

'''Mr. Krabs:''' (Krabs is rapidly sweating mounds of ice cubes) Please, I didn't do it!

'''Neptune:''' There is nothing else I can do.

'''Mindy:''' You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.

'''Neptune:''' Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time... (muttering) What? (Realizes what he just said, then turns to Mindy) Mindy!!! Will you butt out?! I won't have you stalling this execution.

'''Mindy:''' Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.

'''Neptune:''' Yes, you are.

'''Mindy:''' No, I'm not.

'''Neptune:''' Yes, you are. You're doing it right now.

'''Mindy:''' I'm stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Yes.

'''Mindy:''' Stalling?

'''Neptune:''' Stalling!

'''Mindy:''' Stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Stalling!

'''Plankton:''' Oh, boy.

===Chapter 39:The REAL boat battle===

(Back above the ocean, Dennis has appeared. He takes off his smashed through shades and throws them in the sea.)

'''Dennis:''' Now, where were we?

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, run!

'''Patrick:''' No, I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never stop... (Dennis throws Patrick towards Hasselhoff's feet) Run, SpongeBob! (SpongeBob runs. Dennis pulls out a knife, which he accidentally stabs Hasselhoff in the butt with.)

'''David Hasselhoff:''' Ooh. Take it easy back there, fellas.

(SpongeBob tries run from Dennis, but he's coming closer and closer.)

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, be careful.

'''Dennis:''' Come on, kid, give it up. Dennis always gets his man.

'''SpongeBob:''' Never!!!!!!! (Jumps to Hasselhoff's other foot dramatically) Yeah! I did it!

'''Dennis:''' You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip them out of you.

'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know what Plankton's paying you,(Takes out a pile of Goober Dollars) but if you let us go, I can make it worth your while. (Dennis swipes the dollars)

'''Dennis:''' It's gonna take a lot more than five...(looks at the dollars) What is this?

'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, That, sir, is five Goober Dollars. Legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober (throws the dollars away and grabs SpongeBob)... I got bubbles. Fun at parties. (sprays soapy bubbles into Dennis' eyes which causes them to swell up and go red.)

'''Dennis:''' My eyes! (Throws SpongeBob)

'''Patrick:''' I got you, SpongeBob! (Catches him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks, buddy. (Dennis threatens to squish them) Uh, thanks a lot.

'''Dennis:''' (Last lines) That's it! I'm through messing around! See you later, fools! (sees the boat) Huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

'''Patrick:''' (''Dennis suddenly crashes with a floating sailboat and falls into the ocean'') See ya.

===Chapter 40:End of the stalling===
(Inside the Krusty Krab 2)

'''Mindy:''' So you think....I'm....stalling.

'''Neptune:''' Aaaaaagggghhhhh! Where am I, in crazy town? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!! You are to wait in the carriage until the execution is done!!

'''Mindy:''' But, Daddy...

'''Neptune:''' '''NOW!!!''' (She gets on the elevator and press the floor button. Neptune closes the elevator)

'''Mindy:''' (In a Sprixie Princess voice) HELP!!! Oh, SpongeBob, wherever you are, you better hurry.

===Chapter 41:It's not too late to go to Bikini Bottom===
(Back above the ocean, Hasselhoff swim to [[Bikini Atoll]])

'''Hasselhoff:''' (Stand up) Okay, fellas, this is where you get off. Bikini Bottom's directly below.

'''SpongeBob:''' But we'll never be able to float down in time.

'''Hasselhoff:''' Who said anything about floating? (Pecs turn into launchers)

'''Announcer:''' ''Initiating launch sequence.''

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' What the...? (All systems are green in the chest)

'''SpongeBob:''' Did you see that?

'''Patrick:''' The control.

'''Hasselhoff:''' All hands on deck.

'''Announcer:''' ''10 seconds to liftoff, 9, 8...''

(The Sea starts to shake)

===Chapter 42:Help!===

'''Neptune:''' (Lights his trident) Eugene Krabs, the time has come...

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) Help!

'''Plankton:''' Yes.

'''Announcer:''' ''...7, 6, 5...''

'''Neptune:''' ....for you....

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) Help me!

'''Plankton:''' (Pulls Antennae) Yes!

'''Announcer:''' ''...4, 3, 2...''

'''Neptune:''' ....to fry!

'''Mindy:''' (Outside) (In a Sprixie Princess voice) HELP!!!

'''Plankton:''' (Wide-eyed) Yes!!!

'''Announcer:''' ''... one.'' (SpongeBob, Patrick, and the crown are launched in the ocean and back down to Bikini Bottom.)

===Chapter 43: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!===

'''Spongebob and Patrick:''' AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

'''Mr. Krabs:''' NO! (Just then, Sponge and Pat fall through the roof. Krabs is about to be fried, but the crown blocks the ray, and it is blasted up to land, where Hasselhoff is lying down)

'''Hasselhoff:''' (Last lines) You done good, Hasselhoff. You done... (He is blasted with Neptune's ray and survives) ow.

===Chapter 43:Saved by the Sponge...Really!===

'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray! We made it!

'''Patrick:''' We made it!

(SpongeBob and Patrick laugh and jump with excitement)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, I he! We're free! I had own way!

'''Neptune:''' My crown! My beautiful crown!

'''Mindy:''' (gets out of the elevator) SpongeBob, Patrick, I knew you could do it! (Hugs them. Plankton then starts clapping slowly)

'''Plankton:''' (Sarcastically) Oh, yes. Well done, SpongeBoob.

'''SpongeBob:''' (Sarcastically) Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.

'''Plankton:''' Oh, don't worry about me. My parade shall be quite dry under my umbrella! (Pulls a cord that is hanging above him)

'''SpongeBob, Mindy and Patrick:''' Umbrella? (Turn to Neptune, who is kissing his crown. The ceiling opens up and a helmet falls out. It lands on Neptune's head. He struggles to get it off)

Plankton: "fuc me dady"

===Chapter 45:Goofy Goober ROCK!===

'''Plankton:''' Cheated? (Now to Neptune) Hold on there, baldy. (Now to SpongeBob) Oh, grow up.
What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You'd never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because you cheated?

'''Plankton:''' No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid!

'''SpongeBob:''' I guess you're right, Plankton. I am just a kid.

'''Plankton:''' Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.

'''SpongeBob:''' And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.

'''Plankton:''' That's right. Okay, Neptune...

'''SpongeBob:''' And no amount of mermaid magic...(Turns to Mindy)...or managerial promotion...
(Turns to the light blue Mr. Krabs)...or some other third thing...can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.

'''Plankton:''' That's great. Now, get back against the wall.

'''SpongeBob:''' (over microphone) But that's okay.

'''Plankton:''' What? What's going on?

'''SpongeBob:''' Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Shell City,
and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown back.

'''Plankton:''' All right, we get the point.

'''SpongeBob:''' So, yeah, I'm a kid. (Dry ice smoke surrounds Plankton, and a spotlight appears on SpongeBob.) And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!

'''Plankton:''' What? (coughs from the smoke) What's going on here?

'''SpongeBob:''' But most of all, I'm...

'''Plankton:''' Okay, settle down. Take it easy.

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm... I'm...

'''Plankton:''' What the scallop?!????!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'''SpongeBob:''' (Bursts into song) I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock! (Plankton is flung into the wall)
You're a Goofy Goober! Rock!
We're all Goofy Goobers! Rock!
Goofy, goofy, goober, goober! Rock!
Put your toys away,
Well, all I gotta say when you tell me not to play,
I say no way.
No way!
No, no freaking way!
I'm a kid, you say, when you say
I'm a kid I say,
"Say it again" and then I say thanks. Thanks!
Thank you very much!
So if you're thinking that you'd like to be like me,
Go ahead and try.
The kid inside will set you free!
I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock!

'''Plankton:''' (He is recovering from being flung into the wall) What's happening? (Sees SpongeBob dancing) His dance moves are impressive, but I'm in control. (To slaves) Seize him!

'''People:''' All hail Plankton. (Crowd in around SpongeBob. A few seconds later, SpongeBob bursts out in a wizard outfit, playing an electric guitar. As he plays it, its headstock lights up and a laser beam blasts out and destroys a slave's helmet.)

'''Fred:''' (After SpongeBob zaps his helmet, and it comes off)I'm free. I've been freed!

'''Plankton:''' What? (SpongeBob zaps more helmets off) No! (SpongeBob twirls into action, zapping even more helmets off) My precious helmets!

'''Squidward:''' Huh?

'''Mrs. Puff:''' Oh!

'''Sandy:''' Yee-haw!

'''Gary:''' Meow.

'''Plankton:''' His chops are too righteous. The helmets can't handle this level of rock 'n' roll.
Karen, do something. Karen? (Looks for her. She laughs, surfing through the crowd. He growls) All right, that's the last straw. Neptune, I command you to...(Neptune's helmet comes off. Mindy hands him his crown)

'''Mindy:''' Here you go, Daddy.

'''Plankton:''' I better get out of here. (Runs for the door, but a crowd of freed fish burst in)

'''Sandals:''' Look, it's the wizard who saved us.

'''Plankton:''' Out of my way, fools. (The freed fish ignore him and rush to see SpongeBob, running over Plankton in the process)Ow! Ow! Ow! Ouch! (yelping)

===Chapter 46:Bikini Bottom Is Free===

'''Plankton:''' (He is now squished into the texture of cookie dough, covered with shoe-prints. The policemen pick him up and put him in a cage) Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the helmets and the big monuments...Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? (His cage is put in a police car, which drives away) I will destroy all of you! (Everyone that was watching)

'''Neptune:''' Well, Mindy, I have to admit, you were right. Your compassion for these sea creatures proved a most admirable trait. Without it, I would have never again seen my beloved crown. I think you're going to make a fine ruler of the sea one day. Now, let's go home. (Turns
to leave, but is stopped by Mindy)

'''Mindy:''' Daddy, haven't you forgotten something?

'''Neptune:''' Huh? What? Oh, uh... Oh, yeah. Eugene Krabs, I forgot to unfreeze you. (He does so, but Mr. Krabs is pink instead of red)

'''Mr. Krabs (pink):''' What the...?

'''Neptune:''' Oops. I guess I had it set to "real boy" ending. (Sets it right) Mr. Krabs turns red) ''Oh, I'm sorry for falsely freezing you, Krabs. And may I say, sir, you are a very lucky fellow to have in your employ such a brave, faithful, and heroic young lad. Where is he, anyway?''

===Chapter 47:Hooray for SpongeBob===

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm up here. (We see him hanging from ropes)

'''Patrick:''' I'm on it. (Gets SpongeBob down)

'''Neptune:''' Go to him now, Krabs. Embrace him. (Krabs walks over to SpongeBob)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, me boy. I'm sorry I ever doubted ye. That's a mistake I won't make again.

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, Mr. Krabs, you old soft-serve. (They hug)

'''Mr. Krabs:''' And now, SpongeBob, I'm gonna do something that I should've done six days ago. Mr. Squidward! Front and center, please. (Squidward comes)I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin. (Looks at SpongeBob)

'''Squidward:''' I couldn't agree more, sir.

'''Harold:''' Hooray for SpongeBob!

(Cheering)

'''SpongeBob:''' Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.

'''Squidward:''' I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.

'''SpongeBob:''' Are you crazy? (Grabs manager pin)I was just gonna tell you that your fly is down! (Squidward's eyes widen) Manager, this is the greatest day of my life! (The credits begin rolling as songs play)

===Chapter 48:Back At The Theater===
'''Captain:''' You know. David Hasselhoff is a great artist.

'''Usher:''' Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.

'''Pirates:''' (groans)

'''Captain:''' What? Say that again, if you dare. (Points his sword at her)

'''Parrot:''' Squawk.

'''Usher:''' You folks have to leave.

'''Captain:''' Okay.

(Everyone leaves the theater)

'''Pirate:''' Sorry about that.

(The usher sweeps up the popcorn, humming and the Paramount Pictures logo appears and then fades out)

Episode Transcript: Good Neighbors

2017-03-19T22:31:59Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Skill Crane|Skill Crane]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Selling Out|Selling Out]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Good Neighbors]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]

==Dialogue==

(everyone is sleeping until SpongeBob’s foghorn alarm wakes them up) 

Squidward: SpongeBob... 

SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in my house? 

SpongeBob: I came to make sure you don't oversleep and miss work. 

Squidward: Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's very thoughtful of you. 

SpongeBob: My pleasure, Squidward. That's what good neighbors are for. 

Squidward: You did overlook one teensy little detail, however. 

SpongeBob: What's that, Squidward? 

Squidward: '''''IT'S SUNDAY!!''''' (kicks SpongeBob out of his house) A good neighbor doesn't bother me on Sunday! 

SpongeBob: Sunday? No wonder Squidward's grumpy. He forget his Sunday papers. This will show Squidward I'm a good neighbor. I'll bring it to him. (breaks the string that holds the paper together) Man this is heavy. (bumps into Patrick) Oh, pardon me. 

'''Patrick''': Hey, watch where you're going. Ah, a newspaper monster!! 

SpongeBob: (throws paper in the air) Aah, monster!!

SpongeBob and Patrick: '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''''' 

Squidward: Will you two nincompoops kindly quiet down?! I am not going to let them ruin the rest of my Sunday! (hums) My Sunday relaxation kit. (reaches into box) Let's see…pillow. (puts pillow on end of couch) Placed ever so for slight foot elevation. Flower--to brighten the room. Flower fragrance. (sprays fragrance on flower. The flower dies) And the final touch. (dials on phone) Yes, I'd like to order the Sunday special. Yes, the pedicure and foot massage house call, that is correct. See you at 4 my good man. (hangs up phone) This is gonna be a heavenly day. Oh, I almost forgot. (grabs a box) Bon-bons. Hello there, heaven's little wonder. Take me on a chocolate vacation. (SpongeBob & Patrick raise up from behind the couch making noises. Squidward spits out his chocolate) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': By the all seeing eye, ye are worthy. We are not. 

Squidward: What are you two idiots doing?! 

'''Patrick''': Secret ritual. 

SpongeBob: To inaugurate you as president. 

Squidward: Me? President of Bikini Bottom? I knew the people would come to their senses. 

'''Patrick''': No, silly. Not the president of Bikini Bottom. Even better. 

Squidward: Better? 

SpongeBob: You're the president of 'The Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge'. 

Squidward: The what? Is this some stupid club you two made up? (SpongeBob & Patrick laugh) 

'''Patrick''': Maybe. (both laugh) 

SpongeBob: It's a secret. (both laugh) 

Squidward: Fine! As my first presidential decree, uhh, why don't you, uhh, go out and paint all the leaves on the trees to make the neighborhood look nicer? (pushing SpongeBob & Patrick out the door) Now out, out, out, out, out, out. That'll keep 'em busy for a few Sundays.(when he closes the door, SpongeBob & Patrick appear from inside) 

SpongeBob: What colors should we paint the laves, your presidentialocity? 

Squidward: Aah, polka dots! Now don't bother me anymore. 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Wow! Polka dots! 

'''Patrick''': Our new president is a genius! 

SpongeBob: Yeah. (both laugh) See ya later, Squidward! (now outside, a red paint can drops on the ground) Whenever your ready, Patrick. 

'''Patrick''': (Patrick unscrews SpongeBob’s hat which turns out to be a screw) Hold still, buddy. (pours the red paint inside SpongeBob’s hole. When he is done, he throws the can away and ends up hitting an elderly citizen riding a bike. Patrick screws the hat back in) 

SpongeBob: Ok, Pat, gimme a quick shake. 

'''Patrick''': Okie dokie. (Patrick shakes SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: OKAY! I'm ready! (Patrick grabs SpongeBob’s arm and uses it like a slot machine. Drops of red paint come shooting out SpongeBob’s holes and onto trees) Hey, that worked perfectly! C'mon, good neighbor Patrick, let's paint the town polka dot! 

Squidward: (clock on wall is ringing noon) Oh, no! It's already noon! I will be darned if I let those morons eat up anymore of my valuable Sunday! 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': (outside one of Squidward’s windows singing) Good neighbors are we! La-la-la-la-la-la! 

Squidward: What's going on out there? 

SpongeBob: Hi, president Squidward! Almost done painting- (Patrick pulls on SpongeBob’s arm which makes the paint shoot out his holes and all over Squidward’s face and in his eyes)

Squidward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!! (runs around bumping into stuff. Runs outside and in front of a car) 

Lady: Look out! (car slams on brakes and stops in front of Squidward) 

Man: Oh, you poor man! 

Lady: You must be very sick! Let us take you to the hospital. 

Squidward: No really, I'm fine. Please, no, I'm fine… (car drives off) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': See ya later, neighbor! 

'''Patrick''': It is a lovely day for a ride in the country. 

SpongeBob: Yeah, our president sure knows how to live. (later) I'd like to call this meeting of the good neighbor lodge to order. Let's begin with role call: Patrick. (Patrick is snoring) OK…Squidward? (Squidward’s chair is empty) Squidward? Squidward, you home? 

'''Patrick''': Did you find him, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Nope. I guess he's still on his Sunday drive. 

'''Patrick''': Or maybe he's on a secret mission! 

SpongeBob: I hope he's not in danger!

'''Patrick''': Danger?!

SpongeBob: As members of the good neighbor lodge, we are sworn to protect our presidente from danger. 

Masseur: Excuse me? Somebody ordered a relaxing pedicure and foot massage? The Sunday special? 

SpongeBob: Brother star, we better check this guy out. Make sure he's safe for Squidward. 

Squidward: At least I still have my Sunday pedicure to look forward to. (SpongeBob & Patrick are laughing inside Squidward’s house. Squidward opens his front door) What are you two doing in my house? 

SpongeBob: We're checking to make sure this guy really is a certified foot masseur and not some kind of assassin. 

'''Patrick''': Well, I say he checks out a-ok! 

SpongeBob: Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips? (shows foot with long toenails) 

Squidward: French tips, huh? (shoves SpongeBob to the side) Alright, pal, make with a relaxing foot massage, pronto. 

Masseur: Uh-oh. Uh, sorry. Your hour's up. 

Squidward: (makes way toward the front door) Alright, you two! '''''OUT!''''' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow or next week. 

SpongeBob: Squidward, does that include… 

Squidward: '''''YES, IT DOES!''''' (closes door) 

SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something? 

Squidward: (busts head through the door) '''''YES I WAS!!! YOU CALL YOURSELVES GOOD NEIGHBORS?! YOU'RE THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER!''''' (deep breath) '''''YOU DON'T DESERVE TO WEAR THOSE FEZZES!''''' (takes SpongeBob & Patrick’s hats and stomps them into the ground) 

SpongeBob: Gee, Pat, maybe president Squidward's right. 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all. 

Squidward: '''''NO YOU AREN'T!!!! YOU'RE HORRIBLE NEIGHBORS!''''' (deep breath) '''''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!''''' 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) C'mon, let's go. 

Squidward: There are only 3 hours of my Sunday left. They took it all away. I didn't even get to read the Sunday paper.
(notices pile of paper on ground with a note on it) 

SpongeBob: ('Here's Your Sunday Paper Squidward. Enjoy. Love, SpongeBob.') (Squidward kicks the paper into the air then growls like a dog. Then he takes the paper off his head) 

Squidward: Good neighbors my right! (reads paper) Hello? "Keep Out Intruders For Good! New Security System 5000. Free Installation" (evil laugh. Later, has the security system built in and turned on) 

Security System: System Activated. 

Squidward: Well, that ought to do it! Let's see those imbeciles get in here now! 

SpongeBob: (walks up to Squidward) President Squidward? 

Squidward: (screams) What the…?! 

SpongeBob: We hereby present you with this delicious cake.

Squidward: (reads writing on cake) "Sorry for bugging you so much"? What the…? Security system, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What's the matter with you?! 

Security System: No threat detected. 

Squidward: (banging on security system) Oh, you infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrap heap you came from! 

Security System: Threat detected. (system shoots a laser at Squidward which makes SpongeBob & Patrick’s cake fly into the air and land on the system and makes it go haywire) 

Squidward: What's going on? 

Security System: Threat detected. Code red! Code red! 

SpongeBob: (laughing as fireworks are shooting out all over Squidward’s house) It's like a carnival ride. 

Squidward: (running around) Run for your lives! (Squidward’s house suddenly grows legs and arms and stands up. Then grabs Squidward from inside) What the...? What are you doing?! (Squidward’s house kicks him into the air and walks off) I only have half an hour of me time left, and the idiots took my house. Which means those boobs aren't around to bug me. Ooh, just what I've been waiting for. (laughs hysterically, kicks legs happily and flails hands frantically. He then pushes a rock near the landmark of his house.) I'm going to relax, if it kills me.(Lays his back on the rock and sighs. Meanwhile, Squidward’s house is on a rampage) 

Army: Fire! (tank fires a missile at the house but the house catches the missile and flicks it away. Then the house grabs the tank,squishes it, and throws it) 

'''Patrick''': Whoa! Squidward’s house is destroying the neighborhood! 

SpongeBob: We gotta turn this thing off! (turns on a light switch) Nope, not it. 

'''Patrick''': (flushes the toilet) Nope. 

SpongeBob: (turns on the fan) Nope. 

'''Patrick''': (pushes the toasted button down) That's not it, either. 

Squidward: (still resting) This Sunday relaxation really hits the spot. (house stands right above Squidward. Squidward is surprised.) 

SpongeBob: Hmmm, where to look. (notices an "off button" on the wall) Hmmm, this off button seems suspicious. (pushes button and house sits on top of Squidward and goes back to normal) We did it, Patrick! (Squidward busts through from beneath the floor) President Squidward? 

Squidward: No-no, don't say anything more. This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. Now if you'll be so kind as to leave so I can get ready for work tomorrow. 

SpongeBob: Mr President…

Squidward: Sorry.

SpongeBob: But we just wanted to… 

Squidward: '''''GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!''''' 

Scooter: There he is! (a whole crowd is standing outside Squidward’s house) 

Citizen: Are you the owner of this house? 

Squidward: Yes. Yes I am. 

Citizen: Well then on behalf of the citizens of Bikini Bottom, I hereby present you with this summons to pay for the destruction of our town. You'll be doing community service every Sunday for the rest of your life. 

Squidward: Huh? 

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, you got one of those, too? (SpongeBob & Patrick walk up with a summons in their hand) This'll be great! The three of us cleaning up Bikini Bottom. Well, see ya next Sunday, president Squidward!

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Good Neighbors

2017-03-19T22:29:58Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Skill Crane|Skill Crane]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Selling Out|Selling Out]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Good Neighbors]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]

==Dialogue==

(everyone is sleeping until SpongeBob’s foghorn alarm wakes them up) 

Squidward: SpongeBob... 

SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in my house? 

SpongeBob: I came to make sure you don't oversleep and miss work. 

Squidward: Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's very thoughtful of you. 

SpongeBob: My pleasure, Squidward. That's what good neighbors are for. 

Squidward: You did overlook one teensy little detail, however. 

SpongeBob: What's that, Squidward? 

Squidward: '''''IT'S SUNDAY!!''''' (kicks SpongeBob out of his house) A good neighbor doesn't bother me on Sunday! 

SpongeBob: Sunday? No wonder Squidward's grumpy. He forget his Sunday papers. This will show Squidward I'm a good neighbor. I'll bring it to him. (breaks the string that holds the paper together) Man this is heavy. (bumps into Patrick) Oh, pardon me. 

'''Patrick''': Hey, watch where you're going. Ah, a newspaper monster!! 

SpongeBob: (throws paper in the air) Aah, monster!!

SpongeBob and Patrick: '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''''' 

Squidward: Will you two nincompoops kindly quiet down?! I am not going to let them ruin the rest of my Sunday! (hums) My Sunday relaxation kit. (reaches into box) Let's see…pillow. (puts pillow on end of couch) Placed ever so for slight foot elevation. Flower--to brighten the room. Flower fragrance. (sprays fragrance on flower. The flower dies) And the final touch. (dials on phone) Yes, I'd like to order the Sunday special. Yes, the pedicure and foot massage house call, that is correct. See you at 4 my good man. (hangs up phone) This is gonna be a heavenly day. Oh, I almost forgot. (grabs a box) Bon-bons. Hello there, heaven's little wonder. Take me on a chocolate vacation. (SpongeBob & Patrick raise up from behind the couch making noises. Squidward spits out his chocolate) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': By the all seeing eye, ye are worthy. We are not. 

Squidward: What are you two idiots doing?! 

'''Patrick''': Secret ritual. 

SpongeBob: To inaugurate you as president. 

Squidward: Me? President of Bikini Bottom? I knew the people would come to their senses. 

'''Patrick''': No, silly. Not the president of Bikini Bottom. Even better. 

Squidward: Better? 

SpongeBob: You're the president of 'The Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge'. 

Squidward: The what? Is this some stupid club you two made up? (SpongeBob & Patrick laugh) 

'''Patrick''': Maybe. (both laugh) 

SpongeBob: It's a secret. (both laugh) 

Squidward: Fine! As my first presidential decree, uhh, why don't you, uhh, go out and paint all the leaves on the trees to make the neighborhood look nicer? (pushing SpongeBob & Patrick out the door) Now out, out, out, out, out, out. That'll keep 'em busy for a few Sundays.(when he closes the door, SpongeBob & Patrick appear from inside) 

SpongeBob: What colors should we paint the laves, your presidentialocity? 

Squidward: Aah, polka dots! Now don't bother me anymore. 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Wow! Polka dots! 

'''Patrick''': Our new president is a genius! 

SpongeBob: Yeah. (both laugh) See ya later, Squidward! (now outside, a red paint can drops on the ground) Whenever your ready, Patrick. 

'''Patrick''': (Patrick unscrews SpongeBob’s hat which turns out to be a screw) Hold still, buddy. (pours the red paint inside SpongeBob’s hole. When he is done, he throws the can away and ends up hitting an elderly citizen riding a bike. Patrick screws the hat back in) 

SpongeBob: Ok, Pat, gimme a quick shake. 

'''Patrick''': Okie dokie. (Patrick shakes SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: OKAY! I'm ready! (Patrick grabs SpongeBob’s arm and uses it like a slot machine. Drops of red paint come shooting out SpongeBob’s holes and onto trees) Hey, that worked perfectly! C'mon, good neighbor Patrick, let's paint the town polka dot! 

Squidward: (clock on wall is ringing noon) Oh, no! It's already noon! I will be darned if I let those morons eat up anymore of my valuable Sunday! 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': (outside one of Squidward’s windows singing) Good neighbors are we! La-la-la-la-la-la! 

Squidward: What's going on out there? 

SpongeBob: Hi, president Squidward! Almost done painting- (Patrick pulls on SpongeBob’s arm which makes the paint shoot out his holes and all over Squidward’s face and in his eyes)

Squidward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!! (runs around bumping into stuff. Runs outside and in front of a car) 

Lady: Look out! (car slams on brakes and stops in front of Squidward) 

Man: Oh, you poor man! 

Lady: You must be very sick! Let us take you to the hospital. 

Squidward: No really, I'm fine. Please, no, I'm fine… (car drives off) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': See ya later, neighbor! 

'''Patrick''': It is a lovely day for a ride in the country. 

SpongeBob: Yeah, our president sure knows how to live. (later) I'd like to call this meeting of the good neighbor lodge to order. Let's begin with role call: Patrick. (Patrick is snoring) OK…Squidward? (Squidward’s chair is empty) Squidward? Squidward, you home? 

'''Patrick''': Did you find him, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Nope. I guess he's still on his Sunday drive. 

'''Patrick''': Or maybe he's on a secret mission! 

SpongeBob: I hope he's not in danger!

'''Patrick''': Danger?!

SpongeBob: As members of the good neighbor lodge, we are sworn to protect our presidente from danger. 

Masseur: Excuse me? Somebody ordered a relaxing pedicure and foot massage? The Sunday special? 

SpongeBob: Brother star, we better check this guy out. Make sure he's safe for Squidward. 

Squidward: At least I still have my Sunday pedicure to look forward to. (SpongeBob & Patrick are laughing inside Squidward’s house. Squidward opens his front door) What are you two doing in my house? 

SpongeBob: We're checking to make sure this guy really is a certified foot masseur and not some kind of assassin. 

'''Patrick''': Well, I say he checks out a-ok! 

SpongeBob: Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips? (shows foot with long toenails) 

Squidward: French tips, huh? (shoves SpongeBob to the side) Alright, pal, make with a relaxing foot massage, pronto. 

Masseur: Uh-oh. Uh, sorry. Your hour's up. 

Squidward: (makes way toward the front door) Alright, you two! '''''OUT!''''' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow or next week. 

SpongeBob: Squidward, does that include… 

Squidward: '''''YES, IT DOES!''''' (closes door) 

SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something? 

Squidward: (busts head through the door) '''''YES I WAS!!! YOU CALL YOURSELVES GOOD NEIGHBORS?! YOU'RE THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER!''''' (deep breath) '''''YOU DON'T DESERVE TO WEAR THOSE FEZZES!''''' (takes SpongeBob & Patrick’s hats and stomps them into the ground) 

SpongeBob: Gee, Pat, maybe president Squidward's right. 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all. 

Squidward: '''''NO YOU AREN'T!!!! YOU'RE HORRIBLE NEIGHBORS!''''' (deep breath) '''''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!''''' 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) C'mon, let's go. 

Squidward: There are only 3 hours of my Sunday left. They took it all away. I didn't even get to read the Sunday paper.
(notices pile of paper on ground with a note on it) 

SpongeBob: ('Here's Your Sunday Paper Squidward. Enjoy. Love, SpongeBob.') (Squidward kicks the paper into the air then growls like a dog. Then he takes the paper off his head) 

Squidward: Good neighbors my right! (reads paper) Hello? "Keep Out Intruders For Good! New Security System 5000. Free Installation" (evil laugh. Later, has the security system built in and turned on) 

Security System: System Activated. 

Squidward: Well, that ought to do it! Let's see those imbeciles get in here now! 

SpongeBob: (walks up to Squidward) President Squidward? 

Squidward: (screams) What the…?! 

SpongeBob: We hereby present you with this delicious cake.

Squidward: (reads writing on cake) "Sorry for bugging you so much"? What the…? Security system, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What's the matter with you?! 

Security System: No threat detected. 

Squidward: (banging on security system) Oh, you infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrap heap you came from! 

Security System: Threat detected. (system shoots a laser at Squidward which makes SpongeBob & Patrick’s cake fly into the air and land on the system and makes it go haywire) 

Squidward: What's going on? 

Security System: Threat detected. Code red! Code red! 

SpongeBob: (laughing as fireworks are shooting out all over Squidward’s house) It's like a carnival ride. 

Squidward: (running around) Run for your lives! (Squidward’s house suddenly grows legs and arms and stands up. Then grabs Squidward from inside) What the...? What are you doing?! (Squidward’s house kicks him into the air and walks off) I only have half an hour of me time left, and the idiots took my house. Which means those boobs aren't around to bug me. Ooh, just what I've been waiting for. (laughs hysterically, kicks legs happily and flails hands frantically. He then pushes a rock near the landmark of his house.) I'm going to relax, if it kills me.(Lays his back on the rock and sighs. Meanwhile, Squidward’s house is on a rampage) 

Army: Fire! (tank fires a missile at the house but the house catches the missile and flicks it away. Then the house grabs the tank,squishes it, and throws it) 

'''Patrick''': Whoa! Squidward’s house is destroying the neighborhood! 

SpongeBob: We gotta turn this thing off! (turns on a light switch) Nope, not it. 

'''Patrick''': (flushes the toilet) Nope. 

SpongeBob: (turns on the fan) Nope. 

'''Patrick''': (pushes the toasted button down) That's not it, either. 

Squidward: (still resting) This Sunday relaxation really hits the spot. (house stands right above Squidward. Squidward is surprised.) 

SpongeBob: Hmmm, where to look. (notices an "off button" on the wall) Hmmm, this off button seems suspicious. (pushes button and house sits on top of Squidward and goes back to normal) We did it, Patrick! (Squidward busts through from beneath the floor) President Squidward? 

Squidward: No-no, don't say anything more. This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. Now if you'll be so kind as to leave so I can get ready for work tomorrow. 

SpongeBob: Mr President…

Squidward: Sorry.

SpongeBob: But we just wanted to… 

Squidward: '''''GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!''''' 

Scooter: There he is! (a whole crowd is standing outside Squidward’s house) 

Citizen: Are you the owner of this house? 

Squidward: Yes. Yes I am. 

Citizen: Well then on behalf of the citizens of Bikini Bottom, I hereby present you with this summons to pay for the destruction of our town. You'll be doing community service every Sunday for the rest of your life. 

Squidward: Huh? 

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, you got one of those, too? (SpongeBob & Patrick walk up with a summons in their hand) This'll be great! The three of us cleaning up Bikini Bottom. Well, see ya next Sunday, president Squidward!

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Good Neighbors

2017-03-19T22:27:54Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Skill Crane|Skill Crane]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Selling Out|Selling Out]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Good Neighbors]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]

==Dialogue==

(everyone is sleeping until SpongeBob’s foghorn alarm wakes them up) 

Squidward: SpongeBob... 

SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing in my house? 

SpongeBob: I came to make sure you don't oversleep and miss work. 

Squidward: Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's very thoughtful of you. 

SpongeBob: My pleasure, Squidward. That's what good neighbors are for. 

Squidward: You did overlook one teensy little detail, however. 

SpongeBob: What's that, Squidward? 

Squidward: '''''IT'S SUNDAY!!''''' (kicks SpongeBob out of his house) A good neighbor doesn't bother me on Sunday! 

SpongeBob: Sunday? No wonder Squidward's grumpy. He forget his Sunday papers. This will show Squidward I'm a good neighbor. I'll bring it to him. (breaks the string that holds the paper together) Man this is heavy. (bumps into Patrick) Oh, pardon me. 

'''Patrick''': Hey, watch where you're going. Ah, a newspaper monster!! 

SpongeBob: (throws paper in the air) Aah, monster!!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 

Squidward: Will you two nincompoops kindly quiet down?! I am not going to let them ruin the rest of my Sunday! (hums) My Sunday relaxation kit. (reaches into box) Let's see…pillow. (puts pillow on end of couch) Placed ever so for slight foot elevation. Flower--to brighten the room. Flower fragrance. (sprays fragrance on flower. The flower dies) And the final touch. (dials on phone) Yes, I'd like to order the Sunday special. Yes, the pedicure and foot massage house call, that is correct. See you at 4 my good man. (hangs up phone) This is gonna be a heavenly day. Oh, I almost forgot. (grabs a box) Bon-bons. Hello there, heaven's little wonder. Take me on a chocolate vacation. (SpongeBob & Patrick raise up from behind the couch making noises. Squidward spits out his chocolate) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': By the all seeing eye, ye are worthy. We are not. 

Squidward: What are you two idiots doing?! 

'''Patrick''': Secret ritual. 

SpongeBob: To inaugurate you as president. 

Squidward: Me? President of Bikini Bottom? I knew the people would come to their senses. 

'''Patrick''': No, silly. Not the president of Bikini Bottom. Even better. 

Squidward: Better? 

SpongeBob: You're the president of 'The Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge'. 

Squidward: The what? Is this some stupid club you two made up? (SpongeBob & Patrick laugh) 

'''Patrick''': Maybe. (both laugh) 

SpongeBob: It's a secret. (both laugh) 

Squidward: Fine! As my first presidential decree, uhh, why don't you, uhh, go out and paint all the leaves on the trees to make the neighborhood look nicer? (pushing SpongeBob & Patrick out the door) Now out, out, out, out, out, out. That'll keep 'em busy for a few Sundays.(when he closes the door, SpongeBob & Patrick appear from inside) 

SpongeBob: What colors should we paint the laves, your presidentialocity? 

Squidward: Aah, polka dots! Now don't bother me anymore. 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Wow! Polka dots! 

'''Patrick''': Our new president is a genius! 

SpongeBob: Yeah. (both laugh) See ya later, Squidward! (now outside, a red paint can drops on the ground) Whenever your ready, Patrick. 

'''Patrick''': (Patrick unscrews SpongeBob’s hat which turns out to be a screw) Hold still, buddy. (pours the red paint inside SpongeBob’s hole. When he is done, he throws the can away and ends up hitting an elderly citizen riding a bike. Patrick screws the hat back in) 

SpongeBob: Ok, Pat, gimme a quick shake. 

'''Patrick''': Okie dokie. (Patrick shakes SpongeBob) 

SpongeBob: OKAY! I'm ready! (Patrick grabs SpongeBob’s arm and uses it like a slot machine. Drops of red paint come shooting out SpongeBob’s holes and onto trees) Hey, that worked perfectly! C'mon, good neighbor Patrick, let's paint the town polka dot! 

Squidward: (clock on wall is ringing noon) Oh, no! It's already noon! I will be darned if I let those morons eat up anymore of my valuable Sunday! 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': (outside one of Squidward’s windows singing) Good neighbors are we! La-la-la-la-la-la! 

Squidward: What's going on out there? 

SpongeBob: Hi, president Squidward! Almost done painting- (Patrick pulls on SpongeBob’s arm which makes the paint shoot out his holes and all over Squidward’s face and in his eyes)

Squidward: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!! (runs around bumping into stuff. Runs outside and in front of a car) 

Lady: Look out! (car slams on brakes and stops in front of Squidward) 

Man: Oh, you poor man! 

Lady: You must be very sick! Let us take you to the hospital. 

Squidward: No really, I'm fine. Please, no, I'm fine… (car drives off) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': See ya later, neighbor! 

'''Patrick''': It is a lovely day for a ride in the country. 

SpongeBob: Yeah, our president sure knows how to live. (later) I'd like to call this meeting of the good neighbor lodge to order. Let's begin with role call: Patrick. (Patrick is snoring) OK…Squidward? (Squidward’s chair is empty) Squidward? Squidward, you home? 

'''Patrick''': Did you find him, SpongeBob? 

SpongeBob: Nope. I guess he's still on his Sunday drive. 

'''Patrick''': Or maybe he's on a secret mission! 

SpongeBob: I hope he's not in danger!

'''Patrick''': Danger?!

SpongeBob: As members of the good neighbor lodge, we are sworn to protect our presidente from danger. 

Masseur: Excuse me? Somebody ordered a relaxing pedicure and foot massage? The Sunday special? 

SpongeBob: Brother star, we better check this guy out. Make sure he's safe for Squidward. 

Squidward: At least I still have my Sunday pedicure to look forward to. (SpongeBob & Patrick are laughing inside Squidward’s house. Squidward opens his front door) What are you two doing in my house? 

SpongeBob: We're checking to make sure this guy really is a certified foot masseur and not some kind of assassin. 

'''Patrick''': Well, I say he checks out a-ok! 

SpongeBob: Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips? (shows foot with long toenails) 

Squidward: French tips, huh? (shoves SpongeBob to the side) Alright, pal, make with a relaxing foot massage, pronto. 

Masseur: Uh-oh. Uh, sorry. Your hour's up. 

Squidward: (makes way toward the front door) Alright, you two! '''''OUT!''''' And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day. Or tomorrow or next week. 

SpongeBob: Squidward, does that include… 

Squidward: '''''YES, IT DOES!''''' (closes door) 

SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something? 

Squidward: (busts head through the door) '''''YES I WAS!!! YOU CALL YOURSELVES GOOD NEIGHBORS?! YOU'RE THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER!''''' (deep breath) '''''YOU DON'T DESERVE TO WEAR THOSE FEZZES!''''' (takes SpongeBob & Patrick’s hats and stomps them into the ground) 

SpongeBob: Gee, Pat, maybe president Squidward's right. 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all. 

Squidward: '''''NO YOU AREN'T!!!! YOU'RE HORRIBLE NEIGHBORS!''''' (deep breath) '''''AND STOP CALLING ME PRESIDENT!''''' 

SpongeBob: (to Patrick) C'mon, let's go. 

Squidward: There are only 3 hours of my Sunday left. They took it all away. I didn't even get to read the Sunday paper.
(notices pile of paper on ground with a note on it) 

SpongeBob: ('Here's Your Sunday Paper Squidward. Enjoy. Love, SpongeBob.') (Squidward kicks the paper into the air then growls like a dog. Then he takes the paper off his head) 

Squidward: Good neighbors my right! (reads paper) Hello? "Keep Out Intruders For Good! New Security System 5000. Free Installation" (evil laugh. Later, has the security system built in and turned on) 

Security System: System Activated. 

Squidward: Well, that ought to do it! Let's see those imbeciles get in here now! 

SpongeBob: (walks up to Squidward) President Squidward? 

Squidward: (screams) What the…?! 

SpongeBob: We hereby present you with this delicious cake.

Squidward: (reads writing on cake) "Sorry for bugging you so much"? What the…? Security system, help! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! What's the matter with you?! 

Security System: No threat detected. 

Squidward: (banging on security system) Oh, you infernal contraption! I'm gonna ship you off to the scrap heap you came from! 

Security System: Threat detected. (system shoots a laser at Squidward which makes SpongeBob & Patrick’s cake fly into the air and land on the system and makes it go haywire) 

Squidward: What's going on? 

Security System: Threat detected. Code red! Code red! 

SpongeBob: (laughing as fireworks are shooting out all over Squidward’s house) It's like a carnival ride. 

Squidward: (running around) Run for your lives! (Squidward’s house suddenly grows legs and arms and stands up. Then grabs Squidward from inside) What the...? What are you doing?! (Squidward’s house kicks him into the air and walks off) I only have half an hour of me time left, and the idiots took my house. Which means those boobs aren't around to bug me. Ooh, just what I've been waiting for. (laughs hysterically, kicks legs happily and flails hands frantically. He then pushes a rock near the landmark of his house.) I'm going to relax, if it kills me.(Lays his back on the rock and sighs. Meanwhile, Squidward’s house is on a rampage) 

Army: Fire! (tank fires a missile at the house but the house catches the missile and flicks it away. Then the house grabs the tank,squishes it, and throws it) 

'''Patrick''': Whoa! Squidward’s house is destroying the neighborhood! 

SpongeBob: We gotta turn this thing off! (turns on a light switch) Nope, not it. 

'''Patrick''': (flushes the toilet) Nope. 

SpongeBob: (turns on the fan) Nope. 

'''Patrick''': (pushes the toasted button down) That's not it, either. 

Squidward: (still resting) This Sunday relaxation really hits the spot. (house stands right above Squidward. Squidward is surprised.) 

SpongeBob: Hmmm, where to look. (notices an "off button" on the wall) Hmmm, this off button seems suspicious. (pushes button and house sits on top of Squidward and goes back to normal) We did it, Patrick! (Squidward busts through from beneath the floor) President Squidward? 

Squidward: No-no, don't say anything more. This was all my fault. I was the one who wanted to relax on Sunday. Now if you'll be so kind as to leave so I can get ready for work tomorrow. 

SpongeBob: Mr President…

Squidward: Sorry.

SpongeBob: But we just wanted to… 

Squidward: '''''GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!''''' 

Scooter: There he is! (a whole crowd is standing outside Squidward’s house) 

Citizen: Are you the owner of this house? 

Squidward: Yes. Yes I am. 

Citizen: Well then on behalf of the citizens of Bikini Bottom, I hereby present you with this summons to pay for the destruction of our town. You'll be doing community service every Sunday for the rest of your life. 

Squidward: Huh? 

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward, you got one of those, too? (SpongeBob & Patrick walk up with a summons in their hand) This'll be great! The three of us cleaning up Bikini Bottom. Well, see ya next Sunday, president Squidward!

{{Transcripts/Season 4}}

[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: The Great Snail Race

2017-03-19T22:24:40Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Ugh|Ugh]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Mid-Life Crustacean|Mid-Life Crustacean]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Great Snail Race (Episode)|The Great Snail Race]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Snellie]]
*[[Rocky]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy (Cameo Character)]]

==Dialogue==

SpongeBob: Good morning, pineapple! (plays the bugle to wake Gary up) Good morning, Gary! (pats Gary's shell)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: (opens his front door) Good morning, world! I'm ready! World? (scene pans over to Squidward's front door, where a delivery man with a pet cage walks over and knocks on his door)

Squidward: Talk to me.

Delivery Man: (waves hat) Package, sir.

Squidward: A-ha! (Squidward signs a clipboard) I can't believe it's finally here! (delivery man hands him the cage)

Delivery Man: Here ya go!

Squidward: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. (hands him the clipboard)

Delivery Man: Thank you, Mr...mmmm... Tennis Balls.

Squidward: (Squidward winces, then scowls) That's Tentacles! (takes pet cage and slams the door shut)

SpongeBob: Squidward's last name is Tentacles?

Patrick: Poor guy. (Squidward walks out with a new snail with a bow on her shell) Hey, check out Squidward's new snail.

SpongeBob: (whistles as Squidward frowns) Fancy. So that's what came in the mail. Looks like Gary has a new little playmate.

Squidward: Pfft, dream on, SpongeBob. (holding his snail smugly) I wouldn't let Snellie here play with that mongrel mutt. She’s a purebred.

Patrick: Wow, a snail made out of bread.

Squidward: No! Purebred means she's of the highest pedigree. See? (holds up a certificate) She even has her own papers. So if you'll excuse us, Snellie has to start her training.

SpongeBob: Training?

Squidward: For Bikini Bottom's snail race. Snellie will be winning this Sunday.

Patrick: Sunday?

SpongeBob: Well, I guess I can't enter Gary in that. Sunday's laundry day!

Squidward: No, SpongeBob. You can't enter Gary because Gary's a mutt. (Gary is shown looking like a hillbilly with a chimney in his shell)

SpongeBob: Boy, you got that right. Gary’s no...(scowls) hey! What makes you so sure Gary couldn't win that race? (Squidward shows the certificate again)

Squidward: Papers. (Patrick walks up and reads it)

Patrick: Hmmm, 'Property of Squidward Tentpoles'.

Squidward: That's Tennisballs...de-derr, Tentacles! Come on, Snellie. (walks off)

SpongeBob: You know what? I'm starting to get the idea that Squidward thinks his snail is better than mine.

Patrick: No!

SpongeBob: Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Patrick: Yeah, I should get a snail and enter it in that race and beat Squidward! (Patrick runs off)

SpongeBob: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? (Gary imagines himself watching TV) No, no, no! I'm thinking about entering you in that race and beating Squidward's snail! (SpongeBob runs off. He then returns, wearing a coach's outfit) Looks like we're going to start our training now, ladies! (laughs) I call you a lady to humiliate and demean you. It's a motivational tool we coaches use. (scene cuts to Sandy walking down the street)

Sandy: Hmm... I don't know why, but I think I'll kick SpongeBob's butt tomorrow. (scene cuts to SpongeBob opening a can)

SpongeBob: Kelp powder for muscle mass. (drops the food in a blender as Gary looks on with disgust) Raw eggs, 'cause they're cliché. (drops the eggs in the blender) And nails for toughness. (drops the nails in the blender. Turns on the blender)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Of course, I expect you to eat this. (SpongeBob pours some of the blended food into a glass) It's scientifically designed to help you win tomorrow. Gary? (Gary is already out of the room through his snail door. SpongeBob stops his stopwatch) Wow, pretty good time.

Patrick: (holding a rock) Hey SpongeBob, check out my new snail.

SpongeBob: Patrick, your snail is a rock.

Patrick: Yeah, thanks, I know. He's got nerves of steel. See you at the big race. (walks off)

SpongeBob: Boy, the competition's getting tough. (walks over to Gary watching TV) That's it, Gary. (takes out a leash) We are going to start some serious training right now.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: (puts the leash on Gary. Gary tries to stretch his eyes to watching the TV as long as he can before he's pulled out of the room) Alright Gary, let’s start with some sprints. (holds up a stopwatch) On your mark. Get set. Go! Go Gary, go! Come on, go, Gary! It's all yours, Gary! (SpongeBob notices Gary is not there) Gary? (SpongeBob walks up to Gary, who is watching more TV) Come on Gary, the big race is tomorrow. You got to start training if you want to win.

Squidward: (pops his head in SpongeBob's lower window) Don’t waste your breath, SpongeBob. That mongrel of yours doesn't have a chance against Snellie.

Patrick: (pops his head in SpongeBob's upper window) Excuse me, but you two seem to be forgetting who the real winner will be...my snail. (shows his rock)

Squidward: Patrick, that’s a rock.

Patrick: Yeah, thanks. I know. He's got nerves of steel.

Squidward: Hey, what are you standing on, anyway? (scene shows Patrick standing on Squidward's shoulders) Like I said, don't even bother showing up tomorrow. (Squidward walks off as Patrick pops his head back in one of the windows)

Patrick: My snail's really got Squidward scared, huh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Sorry Patrick, Gary and I have got some serious work to do. (picks up Gary and walks off)

Patrick: You can run, but you can’t hide, SquarePants! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Gary outside)

SpongeBob: Alright Gary, no more fooling around. Time to get serious. (scene cuts to SpongeBob blowing on a whistle) Come on, Gary, move it! (scene cuts to Gary crawling up and down a wall) Up, up, up, up! Down, down, down, down! (scene cuts to Gary punching a punching bag with his eyes) Faster, faster, faster! Go, go, go! (scene cuts to SpongeBob following Gary on his bike) Come on, push it, Gary, push it! (scene cuts to Gary on the toilet) Move that shell! (scene cuts to Gary in the bathtub with SpongeBob looking through the curtains) Come on, Gary, move it! (scene cuts to Gary eating) Let's go, let's go, let's go! Faster! (scene cuts to nighttime. Gary is on an exercise wheel while SpongeBob is sleeping but giving orders at the same time) Let's go, let's go! Speed it up, speed it up, speed it up! Move it, Gary! Move it, move it, move it, move it... (scene cuts to morning, where Gary is tired, out of breath, and on a leash) Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke. (Gary is pulling SpongeBob in a wagon) Come on, Gary, we're gonna be late for the big race! (scene cuts to an announcer)

Nat: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to our live coverage of this year's annual spring classic, the 102nd Running of the Snail. And what a beautiful day for this sport of kings, of which I am a huge fan. Seriously, I'm just a fan. I was on my way to my seat, the door was open.

Announcer: Hey, what are you doing? (fish runs away as the announcer comes and sits down) Heh, sorry about that, folks. Let's go down to the field to join the mayor for the pre-game ceremony. (scene cuts to a large fish standing by a microphone)

Mayor: And now, for the lighting of the Torch of Good Sportsmanship, please join me in welcoming snail racing's first-ever champion, Lightning Larry Luciano! (crowd cheers as the band plays. Larry comes crawling out every so slowly with a flame attached on his back)

Announcer: Would you look at that, folks? Lightning Larry Luciano, a living legend, slowly making his way center stage. And what a proud moment for this sport. The crowd is going absolutely nuts... (crowd is cheering) ...for Larry. (Larry is still crawling to the torch) He’s almost there. Uhh, yes, any minute now.

Narrator: Two hours later. (band is not playing as loud)

Announcer: He’s almost a quarter of the way there. (Larry is still crawling up to the torch. The mayor checks his watch, then runs over, grabs Larry and lights the torch)

Mayor: The torch is lit! Let the race begin! (the crowd cheers. Cut to the playing field, where SpongeBob and Squidward are standing at the starting line. The snails have markers: Snellie is #6, and a very worn out Gary is #7)

Squidward: Well SpongeBob, I must admit, I didn't think that mongrel mutt of yours would even find the starting line. Congratulations. (laughs)

SpongeBob: Save it for the loser's circle, Squidward. Gary happens to be in the best shape of his life. (Gary is coughing)

Squidward: I'll alert the paramedics.

Patrick: (laughs) Good one, Squidward.

Official: (walks up to the contestants) You guys ready?

Patrick: Aaaaah! A burglar!

SpongeBob: No, Patrick, that's the official.

Official: We're ready to start here, folks.

Squidward: Okay, Snellie, let's show these common, garden-variety snails what superior breeding is all about.

Snellie: Meow.

SpongeBob: Alright Gary, listen up, the competition is going to be fierce. You're the undersnail. Everybody's already counting you out. Now get out there and win, so we can rub Squidward's big fat nose in it.

Gary: Meow.

Patrick: This is what you've been training for, Rocky. This is why we’re here. (official raises the flag)

Official: On your mark. Get set. (lowers the flag) Slither! (Snellie runs out first)

Announcer: And they're off! Number six, Snellie, rockets out of the starting blocks, leaving the other two competitors in the dust!

SpongeBob: What! (runs over to Gary)

Squidward: Go, Snellie, you got it, baby!

SpongeBob: What are you doing, Gary? The race has started! You let Snellie take the lead! Let's go, Gary. Start moving! You're blowing everything we trained for! Blowing it!

Patrick: It’s okay, Rocky. You go when you feel like it.

SpongeBob: Gary, are you listening to me?! Get the anchors out of your pants right now! (Gary is trying to move fast) Don’t give me that look! I said now, mister! Get going, Gary! (SpongeBob jumps up and down while Gary is moving slowly) Go, go, go, go, go!

Announcer: And there goes number 7 out of the starting gate. Oh, hang on, folks. He doesn’t look so good.

SpongeBob: Not good enough, Gary, not good enough! Faster! (Gary tries to go faster)

Announcer: I do not like the look of this.

SpongeBob: Come on, Gary, it's a race! A race! Have you heard of 'em? (Gary eyes are now really small)

Announcer: That couch is pushing that snail too hard.

SpongeBob: Faster, Gary, faster, faster, faster, faster! (Gary’s left eye explodes) Huh? (crowd gasps)

Announcer: Oh, looks like number 7 has a blowout! (Gary’s other eye explodes) Oops, make that 2, folks.

SpongeBob: Uhh, Gary? (Gary’s shell breaks, showing a machine inside)

Announcer: Plus, a blown head gasket! Oh, and the poor creature’s still going for it.

SpongeBob: (getting worried) Umm, Gary, you can stop now. (Gary is leaving skid marks on the track)

Announcer: And he’s losing control! (Gary is running into walls and making a bunch of sparks)

SpongeBob: You can take a breath now if you want to, Gary. (Gary is spinning on the track)

Announcer: He’s spinning out of control! (crowd gasps) He’s heading straight for the wall! (Gary runs into a wall of tires and explodes. The crowd gasps again, then they cheer)

SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (two firemen come up and extinguish the smoke. Squidward laughs) Hold on, Gary, I’m coming! (runs onto the track)

Announcer: Whoa. One of the coaches seems to have raced onto the track. That is an automatic disqualification. Looks like number six has this race all wrapped up, ladies and gentlemen. (Snellie is coming up on the finish line)

Squidward: Come on, Snellie, it's all you, baby!

SpongeBob: (runs up to Gary, crying) Oh, Gary, I'm sorry! Why didn't you just say I was pushing it too hard?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: You did? (cries more) Oh, Gary, why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: You did? (cries some more) Oh, Gary! Oh, Gary! (Snellie turns around and heads straight to Gary to help him)

Squidward: What? (Gary notices Snellie racing towards him and he is back to normal now)

SpongeBob: Gary? (Gary and Snellie start purring at each other) Oh!

Crowd: Aww!

Announcer: (laughs) My, oh, my. Folks, I have never seen anything quite like this. It seems Snellie, the leader, just went back to comfort Gary. (Squidward walks up to where the snails are at)

SpongeBob: Looks like you and I are in-laws, eh, Squidward?

Squidward: But that’s impossible. If Snellie didn’t win, then... (Rocky is at the finish line)

Announcer: And the winner is Rocky! (crowd cheers. Gary and Snellie crawl away)

Squidward: I can't believe it. My purebred, which cost me $1700, lost to a rock. (Patrick walks over with the trophy he won)

Patrick: Don’t worry, Squidward, I know how much you wanted to win, so I had the trophy engraved to you.

Squidward: Gosh, Patrick, thanks. (reads the engraving) 'The 1st Place Snail Racing Cup Presented to Squidward...Tortellini'?! Will I ever win? (everyone laughs. Sandy comes on-screen and kicks SpongeBob in the air)

Sandy: That’s for yesterday, SquarePants!

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: Chocolate With Nuts

2017-02-21T17:51:14Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Verkaufsgenies]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Party Pooper Pants|Party Pooper Pants]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Chocolate With Nuts (Episode)|Chocolate With Nuts]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Mary]]
*[[Mary's Mother]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Con Man]]

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob is sitting in a mailbox as the mailman comes up and opens the mailbox) 

[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Hi mailman! ([[Mailman]] screams and runs as he drops the mail by the mailbox) Ok, see you tomorrow! 

[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Hey, the mail's here. What did you get? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's see...Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary... (throws the mail behind him that isn't [[Mr.Krabs|his]]) Hey, a magazine. (Doesn't throw magazine away, even though it isn't his)That’s funny. I don't remember subscribing to 'Fancy Living Digest'. (both look inside the magazine) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Whoa! 

'''SpongeBob''': Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living. This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool. 

'''Patrick''': (points to a rich man with glasses) This guy's got shoes! (Squidward comes up and grabs the magazine) 

[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]: Give me that back to me! Stealing my mail, eh? You're lucky I don't report you to the authorities. 

'''SpongeBob''': Hey Squidward, how did people in that magazine get all that money? 

Squidward: They're entrepreneurs, they sell things to people! 

'''SpongeBob''': Well, what kind of things? 

Squidward: How should I know? Things people want to buy. [[Squidward|Now keep your paws off my mail.]] (walks off to his house) 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick! We got to become entrepreneurs! 

'''Patrick''': Is that gonna hurt? 

'''SpongeBob''': Quick Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? 

'''Patrick''': Uhh... more time for thinking. 

'''SpongeBob''': No, something real, like an item, something you would pay for. 

'''Patrick''': A chocolate bar? 

'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick! We'll be traveling chocolate bar salesmen. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking out of Barg-N Mart with a bunch of chocolate bars) 

'''SpongeBob''': Fancy Livin', here we come! 

'''Patrick''': Make way for a couple of entrepreneurs (Pronounces it: auntre-penooers)! 

'''SpongeBob''': Ok, Patrick, this is it. The first step on our road to living fancy. Just follow my lead. (walk up to a house and knocks on the door. Tom opens the door) Good afternoon, sir. Could we interest you in some chocolate? 

[[Tom]]: Chocolate? Did you say... chocolate? 

'''Patrick''': Yes sir! With or without nuts? (holds up two different chocolate bars) 

Tom: Chocolate? (turns red angrily) Chocolate! (SpongeBob and Patrick back up after seeing the ticked off Tom) '''''CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!''''' (SpongeBob and Patrick run away as Tom chases after them, scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': Ok, that first guy didn't count. This is our real first step. (door opens) Good morning sir, would you like to buy some chocolate? 

[[Con Man|Salesman]]: Chocolate bars, eh? 

'''SpongeBob''': Yes sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen. 

Salesman: (chuckles) A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise. (scene shows Patrick with a bunch of chocolate bars stuffed in his pants) No, no, no, wrong. You boys want to be good salesmen, right? 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Oh, most certainly, sir! 

Salesman: Well, no self-respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these! (holds up an orange bag) 

'''SpongeBob''': Wow...what is it? 

Salesman: It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead. It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort. But, I'm wasting my time. You boys don't need these bags. 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': We need them, we need them! (the man grins. Scene cuts to SpongeBob giving some money to the man. SpongeBob & Patrick walk off with their arms full of the orange bags) 

Salesman: So long boys! Happy hunting! (chuckles) Suckers. 

Music: [[Fancy Livin']]
Fancy livin',
Here we come
La la la la laaa!

'''SpongeBob''': Let's try next door! (SpongeBob uses his foot to ring the doorbell. The man from before answers) 

Salesman: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags? 

Salesman: I don't recall. But it looks to me you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You two lady-killers are too smart to be without my patented candy bar bag carrying bags. (holds up two larger red bags) 

'''Patrick''': We'll take 20. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with two big red bags at another house. SpongeBob knocks) 

[[Sadie Rechid|Woman]]: Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men? 

'''SpongeBob''': We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one? 

Woman: That sounds heavenly. I’ll take one. (SpongeBob unzips his red bag) 

'''SpongeBob''': One chocolate bar coming up! (unzips the bag but another orange bag comes out. Laughs nervously as he keeps trying to find the chocolate bar but only finds more orange bags. Patrick unzips his pants up and down) I know they're in here somewhere... 

Woman: I don't have time for this. (closes the door) 

'''SpongeBob''': I got it! One chocolate bar for the nice... 

Tom: Chocolate!! 

'''SpongeBob''':...lady 

Tom:(SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Tom chases after them) Chocolate!! Chocolate!! Chocolate!! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in a diner) 

'''SpongeBob''': We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. 

'''Patrick''': Umm, I got it. Let's get naked! 

'''SpongeBob''': No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate. There must be something. What was the reason we bought those bags? 

'''Patrick''': He said we were mediocre. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it! He made us feel special! 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, he did. I'm going back to buy more bags! (runs off) 

'''SpongeBob''': No, wait Patrick! (Patrick freezes where he is) Why don't we try being nice? 

'''Patrick''': Oh, ok. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to a house) 

'''SpongeBob''': Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good. (Patrick knocks on the door and it opens) 

Fish: Hello? 

'''Patrick''': (with a weird look on his face) I love you. (fish slams the door) 

'''SpongeBob''': I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal. Let me try. (rings the doorbell. Door opens) 

Fish: No, please, go away! 

'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...ahem. H-How ya doin'? 

Fish: How am I doing? 

'''SpongeBob''': Wanna buy some chocolate? 

'''Patrick''': We got him now! 

Fish: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, lover boy? (Patrick's stomach is bubbling) 

'''Patrick''': Hehe, it tickles. 

Fish: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. (shows a picture of a fat version of himself when he was 13) You can keep that for five bucks. (Patrick holds up some money) 

'''Patrick''': I'll take 10! (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street again) 

'''SpongeBob''': We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I have a feeling we're too easily distracted. (Patrick is looking at the photo of the fish) 

'''Patrick''': Huh? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house. 

'''Patrick''': What? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's shake on it. 

'''Patrick''': Did you say something? 

'''SpongeBob''': Remember Patrick, focus. (knocks on the door) 

Fish: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars. (hypnotic music plays Patrick stretches his eyes back and forth on the fish like Kaa the snake) 

Fish: Why is Chubby here staring at me? 

'''Patrick''': Focusing. 

Fish: Back up, Jack! (slams the door on Patrick's eyes. Patrick looks around his house) 

'''Patrick''': Nice place you got here! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking down the street) 

'''SpongeBob''': I can't understand what we're doing wrong. 

'''Patrick''': I can't understand anything. 

'''SpongeBob''': There must be something to this selling game that we're just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that! (points to a giant billboard) 

'''Patrick''': (reads the sign) 'Eat Barnacle Chips: They’re Delicious' 

'''SpongeBob''': They are most certainly not delicious. 

'''Patrick''': Not the way I use them? 

'''SpongeBob''': Yet they sell millions of bags a day. 

'''Patrick''': Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick. We've got to stretch the truth. 

'''Tom''': CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!! (SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Scene cuts to them at another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, then you come in for the kill. 

'''Patrick''': The kill. (SpongeBob rings the doorbell as an elderly lady answers it) 

[[Mary]]: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Hello, young lady. (chuckles) We're selling chocolate. Is your mother home? 

Mary: Mom! (her mom, who is a worm-like shaped person, comes up in a wheelchair) 

[[Mary's Mom]]: What? What! What’s all that yelling? You just can't wait for me to die, can you? 

Mary: They're selling chocolate. 

Mary's Mom: Chocolate? 

Mary: Yeah! 

Mary's Mom: What? What are they selling? 

Mary: Chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: What? 

Mary: Chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: I can't hear you! 

Mary: (yells) They're selling chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: They're selling chocolate? 

Mary: (yells) Yeah! 

Mary's Mom: Chocolate? I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it! 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating! It's for-- 

'''Patrick''': You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

Mary: No, no, no... 

Mary's Mom: Live forever, you say? I'll take one. (daughter smacks her forehead. She gives SpongeBob some money as he gives her a chocolate bar) Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate! 

Mary: (to SpongeBob) I hate you! (closes door) 

'''SpongeBob''': If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time! 

'''Patrick''': Hooray for lying! (scene cuts to SpongeBob & Patrick at another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': It'll make your hair grow. 

[[Fred]]: Great, my wife's trying to grow a beard. (scene cuts to another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': It'll make you sound smart! 

Hillbilly: I'll take 20! (scene cuts to another house) 

'''Patrick''': It'll keep your face from getting any uglier! 

Starfish: (a starfish that looks like Patrick but is wearing a shirt) Just in time. 

'''SpongeBob''': Plus, they help make you fly. 

'''Patrick''': You'll fall in love. 

'''SpongeBob''': They'll bring world peace. 

'''Patrick''': [[Flying Dutchman|You'll walk through walls.]] 

'''SpongeBob''': [[Plankton|[dresses as a king]You'll rule the WORLD!]] (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick all bandaged up. Patrick uses two of his rumors to ring the door bell) 

'''Patrick''': (chuckles) This'll be the best lie yet! 

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate. (door opens) 

Salesman: What can I do for you boys? 

'''SpongeBob''': Hello, would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation. 

Salesman: Really? Small world. (guy walks out in a body cast) What's wrong with you guys? 

'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...we've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding. 

Salesman: (sighs) Some guys have all the luck. (sad violin music plays) I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. (SpongeBob and Patrick then look sad. A tear rolls down his cheek ) At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. (the wheel under his leg breaks off) Oh no! (he falls down the stairs and groans) 

'''SpongeBob''': Quick, Patrick, let's help him. (SpongeBob and Patrick carry him inside) Careful. Put him down gently. (Patrick drops him. Shattering glass is heard offscreen) 

Salesman: Ow! 

'''SpongeBob''': You poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you... 

Salesman: Well, there is one thing. As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high. But luckily, I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars. (scene cuts to the crippled man looks out the window at SpongeBob and Patrick, who are walking off with a bunch of chocolate bars in their hands) Such nice boys. It does my heart good... (unzips his cast showing that he is the salesman from before) ...to con a couple of class-A suckeroonies like those two! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 

'''SpongeBob''': Don't get me wrong, Patrick. It's great that we helped that guy out but there's no one else in town to sell chocolate bars to. (falls backward and the box he was carrying falls on his face) Let's face it Patrick, we're failures. (Patrick puts his box on top of SpongeBob's then sits on it)

'''Patrick''': I can live with that. 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's change our names to "Why" and "Bother". 

'''Tom:''' (runs up to them) CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!! 

SpongeBob and '''Patrick''': No! Please don't hurt us! No please have mercy!

Tom: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I've got you right where I want you... (turns normal, holds up a bunch of money) ...I'd like to buy all of your chocolate. (SpongeBob and Patrick drop all their chocolate they have. A Hershey Kiss falls out of Patrick's shorts. [[Episode Transcript: Pre-Hibernation Week| SpongeBob & Patrick]] [[Episode Transcript: Ghost Host|melt into pink and yellow puddles]]) 

'''SpongeBob''':Thank you for your patronage. 

(Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with lots of money.)

'''Patrick''': Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob? 

'''SpongeBob''': (pops up from under the money in the wheelbarrow) Not yet, pally. First we got to spend all the money. 

'''Patrick''': What are we gonna spend it on? (SpongeBob thinks then the scene cuts to an outside view of [[Fancy!]]. Squidward walks to the waiter all dressed up) 

Squidward: Good evening, sir. Table for one please. 

Waiter: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party. 

Squidward: But it's my only night to be fancy. Who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant? 

Waiter: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs and their dates. (scene cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, the daughter, and mom sitting at a table) 

'''SpongeBob''': So, how long have you two ladies known each other? 

Mary's Mom: What? What did he say? 

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
l

Episode Transcript: Chocolate With Nuts

2017-02-21T17:49:29Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Verkaufsgenies]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Party Pooper Pants|Party Pooper Pants]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Chocolate With Nuts (Episode)|Chocolate With Nuts]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Mary]]
*[[Mary's Mother]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Con Man]]

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob is sitting in a mailbox as the mailman comes up and opens the mailbox) 

[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Hi mailman! ([[Mailman]] screams and runs as he drops the mail by the mailbox) Ok, see you tomorrow! 

[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Hey, the mail's here. What did you get? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's see...Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary... (throws the mail behind him that isn't [[Mr.Krabs|his]]) Hey, a magazine. (Doesn't throw magazine away, even though it isn't his)That’s funny. I don't remember subscribing to 'Fancy Living Digest'. (both look inside the magazine) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Whoa! 

'''SpongeBob''': Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living. This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool. 

'''Patrick''': (points to a rich man with glasses) This guy's got shoes! (Squidward comes up and grabs the magazine) 

[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]: Give me that back to me! Stealing my mail, eh? You're lucky I don't report you to the authorities. 

'''SpongeBob''': Hey Squidward, how did people in that magazine get all that money? 

Squidward: They're entrepreneurs, they sell things to people! 

'''SpongeBob''': Well, what kind of things? 

Squidward: How should I know? Things people want to buy. [[Squidward|Now keep your paws off my mail.]] (walks off to his house) 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick! We got to become entrepreneurs! 

'''Patrick''': Is that gonna hurt? 

'''SpongeBob''': Quick Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? 

'''Patrick''': Uhh... more time for thinking. 

'''SpongeBob''': No, something real, like an item, something you would pay for. 

'''Patrick''': A chocolate bar? 

'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick! We'll be traveling chocolate bar salesmen. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking out of Barg-N Mart with a bunch of chocolate bars) 

'''SpongeBob''': Fancy Livin', here we come! 

'''Patrick''': Make way for a couple of entrepreneurs (Pronounces it: auntre-penooers)! 

'''SpongeBob''': Ok, Patrick, this is it. The first step on our road to living fancy. Just follow my lead. (walk up to a house and knocks on the door. Tom opens the door) Good afternoon, sir. Could we interest you in some chocolate? 

[[Tom]]: Chocolate? Did you say... chocolate? 

'''Patrick''': Yes sir! With or without nuts? (holds up two different chocolate bars) 

Tom: Chocolate? (turns red angrily) Chocolate! (SpongeBob and Patrick back up after seeing the ticked off Tom) '''''CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!''''' (SpongeBob and Patrick run away as Tom chases after them, scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': Ok, that first guy didn't count. This is our real first step. (door opens) Good morning sir, would you like to buy some chocolate? 

[[Con Man|Salesman]]: Chocolate bars, eh? 

'''SpongeBob''': Yes sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen. 

Salesman: (chuckles) A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise. (scene shows Patrick with a bunch of chocolate bars stuffed in his pants) No, no, no, wrong. You boys want to be good salesmen, right? 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Oh, most certainly, sir! 

Salesman: Well, no self-respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these! (holds up an orange bag) 

'''SpongeBob''': Wow...what is it? 

Salesman: It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead. It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort. But, I'm wasting my time. You boys don't need these bags. 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': We need them, we need them! (the man grins. Scene cuts to SpongeBob giving some money to the man. SpongeBob & Patrick walk off with their arms full of the orange bags) 

Salesman: So long boys! Happy hunting! (chuckles) Suckers. 

Music: [[Fancy Livin']]
Fancy livin',
Here we come
La la la la laaa!

'''SpongeBob''': Let's try next door! (SpongeBob uses his foot to ring the doorbell. The man from before answers) 

Salesman: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags? 

Salesman: I don't recall. But it looks to me you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You two lady-killers are too smart to be without my patented candy bar bag carrying bags. (holds up two larger red bags) 

'''Patrick''': We'll take 20. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with two big red bags at another house. SpongeBob knocks) 

[[Sadie Rechid|Woman]]: Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men? 

'''SpongeBob''': We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one? 

Woman: That sounds heavenly. I’ll take one. (SpongeBob unzips his red bag) 

'''SpongeBob''': One chocolate bar coming up! (unzips the bag but another orange bag comes out. Laughs nervously as he keeps trying to find the chocolate bar but only finds more orange bags. Patrick unzips his pants up and down) I know they're in here somewhere... 

Woman: I don't have time for this. (closes the door) 

'''SpongeBob''': I got it! One chocolate bar for the nice... 

Tom: Chocolate!! 

'''SpongeBob''':...lady 

Tom:(SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Tom chases after them) Chocolate!! Chocolate!! Chocolate!! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in a diner) 

'''SpongeBob''': We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. 

'''Patrick''': Umm, I got it. Let's get naked! 

'''SpongeBob''': No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate. There must be something. What was the reason we bought those bags? 

'''Patrick''': He said we were mediocre. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it! He made us feel special! 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, he did. I'm going back to buy more bags! (runs off) 

'''SpongeBob''': No, wait Patrick! (Patrick freezes where he is) Why don't we try being nice? 

'''Patrick''': Oh, ok. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to a house) 

'''SpongeBob''': Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good. (Patrick knocks on the door and it opens) 

Fish: Hello? 

'''Patrick''': (with a weird look on his face) I love you. (fish slams the door) 

'''SpongeBob''': I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal. Let me try. (rings the doorbell. Door opens) 

Fish: No, please, go away! 

'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...ahem. H-How ya doin'? 

Fish: How am I doing? 

'''SpongeBob''': Wanna buy some chocolate? 

'''Patrick''': We got him now! 

Fish: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, lover boy? (Patrick's stomach is bubbling) 

'''Patrick''': Hehe, it tickles. 

Fish: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. (shows a picture of a fat version of himself when he was 13) You can keep that for five bucks. (Patrick holds up some money) 

'''Patrick''': I'll take 10! (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street again) 

'''SpongeBob''': We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I have a feeling we're too easily distracted. (Patrick is looking at the photo of the fish) 

'''Patrick''': Huh? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house. 

'''Patrick''': What? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's shake on it. 

'''Patrick''': Did you say something? 

'''SpongeBob''': Remember Patrick, focus. (knocks on the door) 

Fish: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars. (hypnotic music plays Patrick stretches his eyes back and forth on the fish like Kaa the snake) 

Fish: Why is Chubby here staring at me? 

'''Patrick''': Focusing. 

Fish: Back up, Jack! (slams the door on Patrick's eyes. Patrick looks around his house) 

'''Patrick''': Nice place you got here! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking down the street) 

'''SpongeBob''': I can't understand what we're doing wrong. 

'''Patrick''': I can't understand anything. 

'''SpongeBob''': There must be something to this selling game that we're just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that! (points to a giant billboard) 

'''Patrick''': (reads the sign) 'Eat Barnacle Chips: They’re Delicious' 

'''SpongeBob''': They are most certainly not delicious. 

'''Patrick''': Not the way I use them? 

'''SpongeBob''': Yet they sell millions of bags a day. 

'''Patrick''': Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick. We've got to stretch the truth. 

'''Tom''': CHOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Scene cuts to them at another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, then you come in for the kill. 

'''Patrick''': The kill. (SpongeBob rings the doorbell as an elderly lady answers it) 

[[Mary]]: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Hello, young lady. (chuckles) We're selling chocolate. Is your mother home? 

Mary: Mom! (her mom, who is a worm-like shaped person, comes up in a wheelchair) 

[[Mary's Mom]]: What? What! What’s all that yelling? You just can't wait for me to die, can you? 

Mary: They're selling chocolate. 

Mary's Mom: Chocolate? 

Mary: Yeah! 

Mary's Mom: What? What are they selling? 

Mary: Chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: What? 

Mary: Chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: I can't hear you! 

Mary: (yells) They're selling chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: They're selling chocolate? 

Mary: (yells) Yeah! 

Mary's Mom: Chocolate? I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it! 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating! It's for-- 

'''Patrick''': You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

Mary: No, no, no... 

Mary's Mom: Live forever, you say? I'll take one. (daughter smacks her forehead. She gives SpongeBob some money as he gives her a chocolate bar) Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate! 

Mary: (to SpongeBob) I hate you! (closes door) 

'''SpongeBob''': If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time! 

'''Patrick''': Hooray for lying! (scene cuts to SpongeBob & Patrick at another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': It'll make your hair grow. 

[[Fred]]: Great, my wife's trying to grow a beard. (scene cuts to another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': It'll make you sound smart! 

Hillbilly: I'll take 20! (scene cuts to another house) 

'''Patrick''': It'll keep your face from getting any uglier! 

Starfish: (a starfish that looks like Patrick but is wearing a shirt) Just in time. 

'''SpongeBob''': Plus, they help make you fly. 

'''Patrick''': You'll fall in love. 

'''SpongeBob''': They'll bring world peace. 

'''Patrick''': [[Flying Dutchman|You'll walk through walls.]] 

'''SpongeBob''': [[Plankton|[dresses as a king]You'll rule the WORLD!]] (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick all bandaged up. Patrick uses two of his rumors to ring the door bell) 

'''Patrick''': (chuckles) This'll be the best lie yet! 

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate. (door opens) 

Salesman: What can I do for you boys? 

'''SpongeBob''': Hello, would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation. 

Salesman: Really? Small world. (guy walks out in a body cast) What's wrong with you guys? 

'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...we've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding. 

Salesman: (sighs) Some guys have all the luck. (sad violin music plays) I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. (SpongeBob and Patrick then look sad. A tear rolls down his cheek ) At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. (the wheel under his leg breaks off) Oh no! (he falls down the stairs and groans) 

'''SpongeBob''': Quick, Patrick, let's help him. (SpongeBob and Patrick carry him inside) Careful. Put him down gently. (Patrick drops him. Shattering glass is heard offscreen) 

Salesman: Ow! 

'''SpongeBob''': You poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you... 

Salesman: Well, there is one thing. As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high. But luckily, I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars. (scene cuts to the crippled man looks out the window at SpongeBob and Patrick, who are walking off with a bunch of chocolate bars in their hands) Such nice boys. It does my heart good... (unzips his cast showing that he is the salesman from before) ...to con a couple of class-A suckeroonies like those two! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 

'''SpongeBob''': Don't get me wrong, Patrick. It's great that we helped that guy out but there's no one else in town to sell chocolate bars to. (falls backward and the box he was carrying falls on his face) Let's face it Patrick, we're failures. (Patrick puts his box on top of SpongeBob's then sits on it)

'''Patrick''': I can live with that. 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's change our names to "Why" and "Bother". 

'''Tom:''' (runs up to them) CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

SpongeBob and '''Patrick''': No! Please don't hurt us! No please have mercy!

Tom: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I've got you right where I want you... (turns normal, holds up a bunch of money) ...I'd like to buy all of your chocolate. (SpongeBob and Patrick drop all their chocolate they have. A Hershey Kiss falls out of Patrick's shorts. [[Episode Transcript: Pre-Hibernation Week| SpongeBob & Patrick]] [[Episode Transcript: Ghost Host|melt into pink and yellow puddles]]) 

'''SpongeBob''':Thank you for your patronage. 

(Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with lots of money.)

'''Patrick''': Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob? 

'''SpongeBob''': (pops up from under the money in the wheelbarrow) Not yet, pally. First we got to spend all the money. 

'''Patrick''': What are we gonna spend it on? (SpongeBob thinks then the scene cuts to an outside view of [[Fancy!]]. Squidward walks to the waiter all dressed up) 

Squidward: Good evening, sir. Table for one please. 

Waiter: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party. 

Squidward: But it's my only night to be fancy. Who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant? 

Waiter: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs and their dates. (scene cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, the daughter, and mom sitting at a table) 

'''SpongeBob''': So, how long have you two ladies known each other? 

Mary's Mom: What? What did he say? 

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
l

Episode Transcript: Chocolate With Nuts

2017-02-21T17:48:39Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Verkaufsgenies]]
{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Party Pooper Pants|Party Pooper Pants]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V|Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Chocolate With Nuts (Episode)|Chocolate With Nuts]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Mary]]
*[[Mary's Mother]]
*[[Tom]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Con Man]]

==Dialogue==

(SpongeBob is sitting in a mailbox as the mailman comes up and opens the mailbox) 

[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]: Hi mailman! ([[Mailman]] screams and runs as he drops the mail by the mailbox) Ok, see you tomorrow! 

[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]: Hey, the mail's here. What did you get? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's see...Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary... (throws the mail behind him that isn't [[Mr.Krabs|his]]) Hey, a magazine. (Doesn't throw magazine away, even though it isn't his)That’s funny. I don't remember subscribing to 'Fancy Living Digest'. (both look inside the magazine) 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Whoa! 

'''SpongeBob''': Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living. This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool. 

'''Patrick''': (points to a rich man with glasses) This guy's got shoes! (Squidward comes up and grabs the magazine) 

[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]: Give me that back to me! Stealing my mail, eh? You're lucky I don't report you to the authorities. 

'''SpongeBob''': Hey Squidward, how did people in that magazine get all that money? 

Squidward: They're entrepreneurs, they sell things to people! 

'''SpongeBob''': Well, what kind of things? 

Squidward: How should I know? Things people want to buy. [[Squidward|Now keep your paws off my mail.]] (walks off to his house) 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick! We got to become entrepreneurs! 

'''Patrick''': Is that gonna hurt? 

'''SpongeBob''': Quick Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be? 

'''Patrick''': Uhh... more time for thinking. 

'''SpongeBob''': No, something real, like an item, something you would pay for. 

'''Patrick''': A chocolate bar? 

'''SpongeBob''': That's a great idea, Patrick! We'll be traveling chocolate bar salesmen. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking out of Barg-N Mart with a bunch of chocolate bars) 

'''SpongeBob''': Fancy Livin', here we come! 

'''Patrick''': Make way for a couple of entrepreneurs (Pronounces it: auntre-penooers)! 

'''SpongeBob''': Ok, Patrick, this is it. The first step on our road to living fancy. Just follow my lead. (walk up to a house and knocks on the door. Tom opens the door) Good afternoon, sir. Could we interest you in some chocolate? 

[[Tom]]: Chocolate? Did you say... chocolate? 

'''Patrick''': Yes sir! With or without nuts? (holds up two different chocolate bars) 

Tom: Chocolate? (turns red angrily) Chocolate! (SpongeBob and Patrick back up after seeing the ticked off Tom) '''''CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!''''' (SpongeBob and Patrick run away as Tom chases after them, scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': Ok, that first guy didn't count. This is our real first step. (door opens) Good morning sir, would you like to buy some chocolate? 

[[Con Man|Salesman]]: Chocolate bars, eh? 

'''SpongeBob''': Yes sir, we are chocolate bar salesmen. 

Salesman: (chuckles) A couple of mediocre salesmen if you ask me. That's no way to carry your merchandise. (scene shows Patrick with a bunch of chocolate bars stuffed in his pants) No, no, no, wrong. You boys want to be good salesmen, right? 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': Oh, most certainly, sir! 

Salesman: Well, no self-respecting candy bar salesman would be caught dead without one of these! (holds up an orange bag) 

'''SpongeBob''': Wow...what is it? 

Salesman: It's a candy bar bag, you knucklehead. It's specially designed to cradle each candy bar in velvet-lined comfort. But, I'm wasting my time. You boys don't need these bags. 

SpongeBob & '''Patrick''': We need them, we need them! (the man grins. Scene cuts to SpongeBob giving some money to the man. SpongeBob & Patrick walk off with their arms full of the orange bags) 

Salesman: So long boys! Happy hunting! (chuckles) Suckers. 

Music: [[Fancy Livin']]
Fancy livin',
Here we come
La la la la laaa!

'''SpongeBob''': Let's try next door! (SpongeBob uses his foot to ring the doorbell. The man from before answers) 

Salesman: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Huh? Say, weren't you the same guy who sold us these candy bar bags? 

Salesman: I don't recall. But it looks to me you fellas have got a lot of bags there. You two lady-killers are too smart to be without my patented candy bar bag carrying bags. (holds up two larger red bags) 

'''Patrick''': We'll take 20. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with two big red bags at another house. SpongeBob knocks) 

[[Sadie Rechid|Woman]]: Oh, what can I do for you two nice young men? 

'''SpongeBob''': We're selling chocolate bars. Would you like to buy one? 

Woman: That sounds heavenly. I’ll take one. (SpongeBob unzips his red bag) 

'''SpongeBob''': One chocolate bar coming up! (unzips the bag but another orange bag comes out. Laughs nervously as he keeps trying to find the chocolate bar but only finds more orange bags. Patrick unzips his pants up and down) I know they're in here somewhere... 

Woman: I don't have time for this. (closes the door) 

'''SpongeBob''': I got it! One chocolate bar for the nice... 

Tom: Chocolate!! 

'''SpongeBob''':...lady 

Tom:(SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Tom chases after them) Chocolate!! Chocolate!! Chocolate!! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick sitting in a diner) 

'''SpongeBob''': We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. 

'''Patrick''': Umm, I got it. Let's get naked! 

'''SpongeBob''': No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate. There must be something. What was the reason we bought those bags? 

'''Patrick''': He said we were mediocre. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it! He made us feel special! 

'''Patrick''': Yeah, he did. I'm going back to buy more bags! (runs off) 

'''SpongeBob''': No, wait Patrick! (Patrick freezes where he is) Why don't we try being nice? 

'''Patrick''': Oh, ok. (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to a house) 

'''SpongeBob''': Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer. Make him feel good. (Patrick knocks on the door and it opens) 

Fish: Hello? 

'''Patrick''': (with a weird look on his face) I love you. (fish slams the door) 

'''SpongeBob''': I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal. Let me try. (rings the doorbell. Door opens) 

Fish: No, please, go away! 

'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...ahem. H-How ya doin'? 

Fish: How am I doing? 

'''SpongeBob''': Wanna buy some chocolate? 

'''Patrick''': We got him now! 

Fish: Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat. Isn't that right, lover boy? (Patrick's stomach is bubbling) 

'''Patrick''': Hehe, it tickles. 

Fish: As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang. (shows a picture of a fat version of himself when he was 13) You can keep that for five bucks. (Patrick holds up some money) 

'''Patrick''': I'll take 10! (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking down the street again) 

'''SpongeBob''': We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I have a feeling we're too easily distracted. (Patrick is looking at the photo of the fish) 

'''Patrick''': Huh? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's make a pact right now that we will stay focused on selling at the next house. 

'''Patrick''': What? 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's shake on it. 

'''Patrick''': Did you say something? 

'''SpongeBob''': Remember Patrick, focus. (knocks on the door) 

Fish: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars. (hypnotic music plays Patrick stretches his eyes back and forth on the fish like Kaa the snake) 

Fish: Why is Chubby here staring at me? 

'''Patrick''': Focusing. 

Fish: Back up, Jack! (slams the door on Patrick's eyes. Patrick looks around his house) 

'''Patrick''': Nice place you got here! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick walking down the street) 

'''SpongeBob''': I can't understand what we're doing wrong. 

'''Patrick''': I can't understand anything. 

'''SpongeBob''': There must be something to this selling game that we're just not getting. Other people do it, I mean look at that! (points to a giant billboard) 

'''Patrick''': (reads the sign) 'Eat Barnacle Chips: They’re Delicious' 

'''SpongeBob''': They are most certainly not delicious. 

'''Patrick''': Not the way I use them? 

'''SpongeBob''': Yet they sell millions of bags a day. 

'''Patrick''': Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth, they wouldn't sell as many. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's it, Patrick. We've got to stretch the truth. 

'''Tom'''': CHOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SpongeBob and Patrick run off. Scene cuts to them at another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': We'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up, then you come in for the kill. 

'''Patrick''': The kill. (SpongeBob rings the doorbell as an elderly lady answers it) 

[[Mary]]: Yes? 

'''SpongeBob''': Hello, young lady. (chuckles) We're selling chocolate. Is your mother home? 

Mary: Mom! (her mom, who is a worm-like shaped person, comes up in a wheelchair) 

[[Mary's Mom]]: What? What! What’s all that yelling? You just can't wait for me to die, can you? 

Mary: They're selling chocolate. 

Mary's Mom: Chocolate? 

Mary: Yeah! 

Mary's Mom: What? What are they selling? 

Mary: Chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: What? 

Mary: Chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: I can't hear you! 

Mary: (yells) They're selling chocolate! 

Mary's Mom: They're selling chocolate? 

Mary: (yells) Yeah! 

Mary's Mom: Chocolate? I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it! 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating! It's for-- 

'''Patrick''': You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.

Mary: No, no, no... 

Mary's Mom: Live forever, you say? I'll take one. (daughter smacks her forehead. She gives SpongeBob some money as he gives her a chocolate bar) Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate! 

Mary: (to SpongeBob) I hate you! (closes door) 

'''SpongeBob''': If we keep exaggerating the truth, we'll be fancy living in no time! 

'''Patrick''': Hooray for lying! (scene cuts to SpongeBob & Patrick at another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': It'll make your hair grow. 

[[Fred]]: Great, my wife's trying to grow a beard. (scene cuts to another house) 

'''SpongeBob''': It'll make you sound smart! 

Hillbilly: I'll take 20! (scene cuts to another house) 

'''Patrick''': It'll keep your face from getting any uglier! 

Starfish: (a starfish that looks like Patrick but is wearing a shirt) Just in time. 

'''SpongeBob''': Plus, they help make you fly. 

'''Patrick''': You'll fall in love. 

'''SpongeBob''': They'll bring world peace. 

'''Patrick''': [[Flying Dutchman|You'll walk through walls.]] 

'''SpongeBob''': [[Plankton|[dresses as a king]You'll rule the WORLD!]] (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick all bandaged up. Patrick uses two of his rumors to ring the door bell) 

'''Patrick''': (chuckles) This'll be the best lie yet! 

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, this guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy all of our chocolate. (door opens) 

Salesman: What can I do for you boys? 

'''SpongeBob''': Hello, would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation. 

Salesman: Really? Small world. (guy walks out in a body cast) What's wrong with you guys? 

'''SpongeBob''': Uhh...we've got some head trauma and eternal bleeding. 

Salesman: (sighs) Some guys have all the luck. (sad violin music plays) I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. (SpongeBob and Patrick then look sad. A tear rolls down his cheek ) At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. (the wheel under his leg breaks off) Oh no! (he falls down the stairs and groans) 

'''SpongeBob''': Quick, Patrick, let's help him. (SpongeBob and Patrick carry him inside) Careful. Put him down gently. (Patrick drops him. Shattering glass is heard offscreen) 

Salesman: Ow! 

'''SpongeBob''': You poor, poor man. If there's anything, anything we can do to help you... 

Salesman: Well, there is one thing. As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high. But luckily, I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars. (scene cuts to the crippled man looks out the window at SpongeBob and Patrick, who are walking off with a bunch of chocolate bars in their hands) Such nice boys. It does my heart good... (unzips his cast showing that he is the salesman from before) ...to con a couple of class-A suckeroonies like those two! Ha-ha-ha-ha! 

'''SpongeBob''': Don't get me wrong, Patrick. It's great that we helped that guy out but there's no one else in town to sell chocolate bars to. (falls backward and the box he was carrying falls on his face) Let's face it Patrick, we're failures. (Patrick puts his box on top of SpongeBob's then sits on it)

'''Patrick''': I can live with that. 

'''SpongeBob''': Let's change our names to "Why" and "Bother". 

'''Tom:''' (runs up to them) CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

SpongeBob and '''Patrick''': No! Please don't hurt us! No please have mercy!

Tom: Finally! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I've got you right where I want you... (turns normal, holds up a bunch of money) ...I'd like to buy all of your chocolate. (SpongeBob and Patrick drop all their chocolate they have. A Hershey Kiss falls out of Patrick's shorts. [[Episode Transcript: Pre-Hibernation Week| SpongeBob & Patrick]] [[Episode Transcript: Ghost Host|melt into pink and yellow puddles]]) 

'''SpongeBob''':Thank you for your patronage. 

(Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick with lots of money.)

'''Patrick''': Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob? 

'''SpongeBob''': (pops up from under the money in the wheelbarrow) Not yet, pally. First we got to spend all the money. 

'''Patrick''': What are we gonna spend it on? (SpongeBob thinks then the scene cuts to an outside view of [[Fancy!]]. Squidward walks to the waiter all dressed up) 

Squidward: Good evening, sir. Table for one please. 

Waiter: Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party. 

Squidward: But it's my only night to be fancy. Who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant? 

Waiter: Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs and their dates. (scene cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, the daughter, and mom sitting at a table) 

'''SpongeBob''': So, how long have you two ladies known each other? 

Mary's Mom: What? What did he say? 

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
l

Episode Transcript: You Don’t Know Sponge

2017-02-13T19:01:06Z

98.232.107.202: /* Transcript */

[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Hey, dein Schuh ist offen]]
{| border="1"
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!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Whelk Attack|Whelk Attack]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Tunnel of Glove|Tunnel of Glove]]
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Episode Article: [[You Don't Know Sponge|You Don't Know Sponge]]
== Characters ==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Larry the Lobster|Larry]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]

== Transcript ==

[The Krusty Krab is shown and then inside. Squidward is reading a magazine, and hears a whale song. He looks in the kitchen and found out it was Patrick]

'''Patrick''': [Calls the whale song again]

'''SpongeBob''': [chatters in dolphin. Patrick and SpongeBob then make the noises several more times]

'''Squidward''': Can you two be quiet?!
[SpongeBob and Patrick struggle not to make the noises again, but end up doing so again, knocking Squidward off his feet]

'''Squidward''': Didn't think so. What are you barnacle heads doing, anyway?

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick and I are practicing our favorite noises. Mine is a dolphin, laughing. [chatters again]

'''Patrick''': And my favorite is the plaintive song of the blue whale. Ahem. [calls the whale song. Two businessmen are walking down a street and one is a whale, who hears the song]

'''Whale Businessman''': Huh? Did you hear that?

'''Fish Businessman''': What's wrong, Frank?

'''Frank [Whale Businessman]''': That song. It sounds just like... Martha!

'''Fish Businessman''': Frank, how many times do I have to tell you? Martha's no good for you! She's just no good!
[Cuts back to Krusty Krab]

'''Patrick''': ''[calls the whale song again]''

'''Squidward''': Why would you want to practice such horrible sounds?

'''SpongeBob''': It's one of the activities in our favorite magazine. [Holds up a magazine] Simple-Ton: A ton of simple things to do!

'''Squidward''': It must be very mentally challenging for you!

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, it is.

'''Patrick''': Yeah. And it made me look more smart-like. [Goes cross-eyed] What does the magazine say we should do next?

'''SpongeBob''': Well, let's take a look. [Opens book] We've done everything in this issue. Oh, except for this one! The Best Friend Quiz! Do you really know your best friend? Oh, this should be easy. Patrick and I know everything about each other!

'''Squidward''': Well, you two have fun with your mutual ignoramus society. [Walks away from window]

'''SpongeBob & Patrick''': Bye, Squidward!

'''Squidward''': [Comes back to window] Morons. [Goes away again]

'''SpongeBob & Patrick''': Bye, again!

'''SpongeBob''': You go first, Patrick.

'''Patrick''': Oh, no. After you, old buddy.

'''SpongeBob''': ''Au contraire''. After you, ''mon ami''.

'''Patrick''': No. After you, old pal.

'''SpongeBob''': No, no, no, no, no. After you, bestest buddy- [A boot is thrown at his head] -Oof!

'''Squidward''': [offscreen] Just pick one! And there's another three where that came from!

'''SpongeBob''': I'll go first. [puts on glasses] Question 1: What is your best friend's favorite color? Hmmm.... I'm
thinking........AQUAMARINE!

'''Patrick''': I hate to burst your bubble, but my favorite color is........ it is aquamarine. Sorry I doubted you.

'''SpongeBob''': No problem. Is your best friend right, or left-handed? The answer is right-handed.

'''Patrick''': [Draws "Patrick iz awesome" on the Wall] How did you know?

'''SpongeBob''': Simple, Patrick! It's because you're my best friend!

'''Patrick''': Aww!

'''SpongeBob''': Is your best friend's belly button have an inny or an outie?

'''Patrick''': [gasps & grabs front desk with Squidward in it] No peeking!

'''SpongeBob''': [Laughs] No need to peek, Patrick. I can do this with my eyes closed! [Closes eyes and thinks] You haaaaaaaaaave...

'''Patrick''': Oh! What will his answer be?

'''Squidward''': [sarcastically] The suspense is killing me!

'''SpongeBob''': ...an inny!

'''Patrick''': Well, let's just check that theory! [Looks down at his belly button and sees he's an inny] Inny! [Echoes] Wow! How does he do it?

'''Squidward''': [monotonously] Magic. [takes desk and walks away]

'''Patrick''': My turn! But, Give me some hard ones. Not like those softballs you answered.

'''SpongeBob''': Okay! First question: What is your best friend's favorite color?

'''Patrick''': Aw Man! Pulling out the big guns. Color? Color?

'''SpongeBob''': [Gasps to give Patrick a hint]

'''Patrick''': No, No! No Hints! [Struggles] Blue! No, clear! No! [slaps himself in the face] That's not it. 14.

'''SpongeBob''': The answer is...beige.

'''Patrick''': Oh barnacles! I was so close.

'''SpongeBob''': Question Two: Is your Best friend Right- or Left-Handed?

'''Patrick''': [paces back and forth] Tricky...tricky. Hmm...right, or, left...right handed!

'''SpongeBob''': Sorry Patrick, I'm ambidextrous! [grows another pair of arms]

'''Patrick''': Oh, fish paste!

'''SpongeBob''': Next question, does your best friend have an inny, or outie belly button?

'''Patrick''': Belly Button, huh? ...an inny!
[there is a loud beep that comes when there is a wrong answer to a question]

'''SpongeBob''': Sorry Patrick. I have an outie. [Shows SpongeBob's outie belly button]

'''SpongeBob''': Well, I'm sure you'll get the next one right! What is your best friend's favorite food?

'''Patrick''': Uhhh...

'''SpongeBob''': [holds up a sign that says "krabby patty" in one hand, and an actual Krabby Patty in the other]

'''Patrick''': Oh! Oh! I remember! Your favorite food is a Chum Burger!

'''SpongeBob''': [Frowns and puts down sign and Krabby Patty] No.

'''Patrick''': I thought for sure I had that one.

'''SpongeBob''': Okay, lets try an easy one. Is your best friend a boy or a girl?

'''Patrick''': Oooh...that's a toughie. [Eyes SpongeBob's muscles] rugged biceps. [inspects SpongeBob's eyes] Yet, delicate
eyelashes. Hmmm...pass!

'''SpongeBob''': [his work hat deflates. He clears his throat] Uhhh...last question!

'''Patrick''': [claps hands] Ooh! This is for the win!

'''SpongeBob''': What shape is your best friend?

'''Patrick''': Oh! I got this one! Um...can you repeat the question?

'''SpongeBob''': What shape is your best friend, SpongeBob SQUAREPANTS?

'''Patrick''': Round... Flat... Hexagon...

'''SpongeBob''': SQUARE-pants.

'''Patrick''': Ooh! It's right on the tip of my tongue!

'''SpongeBob''': [Holds up a timer] Five seconds.

'''Patrick''': [shouts] Um! Um! Tricep... Pentagon... Mormorphis...

'''SpongeBob''': Times up! [timer rings]

'''Patrick''': TRIANGLE!!
[Cuts to Squidward adjusting his boat outside the kitchen, in the dining area]

'''Squidward''': Idiots, wrecking my boat!
[SpongeBob and Patrick enter the dining area]

'''Squidward''': So, who won your stupid quiz?

'''Patrick''': It was a tie.

'''Squidward''': [takes the Simple-Ton magazine] Let me see that. [Starts laughing] a triangle?! Patrick didn't know anything about
you! [continues laughing] And he's supposed to be your best friend?

'''Patrick''': I know, it's like we're not friends at all!

'''SpongeBob''': Now, now. Patrick may not have passed the quiz, but like a true best friend, he's always here for me. Right
Patrick? [turns to Patrick, but he's nowhere in sight] Patrick?
[Scene shows Patrick outside, buying ice cream from the ice cream truck]

'''Patrick''': Ice cream!

'''Squidward''': Looks like your best friend isn't a friend at all! [laughs]

'''SpongeBob''': [walks outside to Patrick]

'''Patrick''': Hey, SpongeBob! I got you an ice cream. [holds out an ice cream cone to SpongeBob]

'''SpongeBob''': [takes the cone] thank you best friend, Patrick.

'''Patrick''': It's your favorite! Dill Pickle Swirl with mustard and extra bacon bits!

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, this is your favorite ice cream. My favorite is, plain vanilla.

'''Patrick''': Oh, right. [takes the ice cream out of SpongeBob's hand] Well, more ice cream for me!
[SpongeBob's eyes start watering]

'''Patrick''': Oh, can I borrow five bucks?
[SpongeBob miserably takes the money out of his pocket]

'''SpongeBob''': Here! Take your dirty, rotten money! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE! [runs off, crying]

'''Ice Cream man''': Hey, what's with him?

'''Patrick''': I guess he didn't want any ice cream.
[cuts to SpongeBob in his room, on his bed, sobbing. Gary comes by toward his food bowl, but sees it's holding SpongeBob's tears as they land right in the bowl]

'''Gary''': Meow-row. [gets splashed by SpongeBob's tears as he sobs even harder. Gary slithers away crossly] Meow-row-row...

'''SpongeBob''': It just isn't fair! [tries to calm himself down] Oh, who needs Patrick anyway? [leaves his house] Rest of my life, here I come! [walks by Patrick, who's sunning himself on his rock]

'''Patrick''': Oh hey there, SpongeBob!

'''SpongeBob''': [to himself] Be strong, be strong, be strong, be strong! Good afternoon, Mr. Star. [Walks off]

'''Patrick''': See you later!
[Cuts to Sandy's Treedome, where Sandy is trying to comfort a sobbing SpongeBob]

'''SpongeBob''': Oh Sandy! It was awful! Truly awful! We were like complete strangers!

'''Sandy''': You don't need to know everything about your best friend. That's what keeps the friendship interesting!

'''SpongeBob''': Really?

'''Sandy''': Maybe you and Patrick just need some time apart.

'''SpongeBob''': [sniffles] Yeah! I'll have lots of fun without Patrick! [walks off to Sandy's door, and on his way out, he breaks down in tears again]

'''Sandy''': [To herself] What a crybaby.
[Cuts to SpongeBob walking]

'''SpongeBob''': I don't need Patrick! I can have a good time all by myself! [takes out jellyfishing net] I can go jellyfishing! [sobers up] Patrick and I used to go jellyfishing...I can play leapfrog! [jumps over a rock, then pulls it up on him and tries to toss it over his head, but winds up under it and tries to slide out from under it] I can blow bubbles! [blows a bubble, but it looks just like Patrick,] Uh, maybe not. [bubble pops, SpongeBob sighs.. Patrick comes by, singing nonsense]

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, it's Patrick! I can led him see me! [Drills a hole in the sand and hides in it. Patrick skips over the hole. SpongeBob checks to make sure he's gone, then exits the hole] Well, he doesn't seem to be missing me at all. [Patrick walks off, still singing nonsense] I'd say he's gotten over our friendship so quickly! [SpongeBob then returns to the whole, and digs a tunnel that's following Patrick.. Patrick is seen entering the Gym while SpongeBob watches him from afar]

'''SpongeBob''': Patrick works out at the gym? [Takes out binocular and watches Patrick exiting the Gym the Larry the Lobster] And he's hanging out with Larry the Lobster? Maybe I don't know much about Patrick, either.
[cuts to Larry and Patrick entering a cooking supply shop while SpongeBob spies on them]

'''SpongeBob''': [watches Patrick from the inside of a blender] Patrick's shopping for cookery? Very suspicious. Oh! He's coming back! [Hides back in the blender. Patrick comes to the blender and presses a button, activating the blender. Patrick then leaves. SpongeBob hand comes out of the blender and turns it off. And SpongeBob, now liquefied, exits the blender.. Cuts to Larry and Patrick purchasing something from the magic shop. As the exit, one of the top hats from the top hat display follows them]

'''SpongeBob''': [From inside the hat] Hold it right there! [jumps out of the hat]

'''Larry the Lobster''': Hi, SpongeBob.

'''Patrick''': We were just coming to see you.

'''SpongeBob''': [angrily] Oh, I'll bet you were, to tell me about your new best friend, Larry, I suppose?!

'''Larry''': Whoa, settle down, little dude. I don't want to get in the middle of, whatever this is. [Walks off]

'''Patrick''': While Larry is a great guy, loads of talent, and good looks.

'''SpongeBob''': I know, he is pretty amazing...

'''Patrick''': But he's not my best friend. He was just helping me buy a present.

'''SpongeBob''': [angrily] Who for? Sandy?

'''Patrick''': No. For my REAL best friend, SpongeBob SquarePants. [holds out the bag he's holding]

'''SpongeBob''': Really? [Takes the bag and opens it up] For me? What is it? [Takes out a rubber nose, mustache, and glasses
disguise] Oh! I love it! You DO know me, best friend!

'''Patrick''': [wearing the same disguise] I got a pair for me too! [laughs]

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, you're the bestest, best friend Patrick! [puts on his disguise] How do I look?

'''Patrick''': [Screams] How should I know, mysterious stranger?!? [runs away, screaming. SpongeBob sighs. And the episode comes to
a close]
[[Category: Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Krab Borg

2017-02-01T23:45:47Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transcript
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Squilliam Returns|Squilliam Returns]]
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Rock-A-Bye Bivalve|Rock-A-Bye Bivalve]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Krab Borg]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sherm SquarePants]] (first metioned)

==Dialogue==

TV: We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theater presentation of "Night of the Robot." (TV shows a guy running from a robot)

Man: AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

(SpongeBob is watching the movie while eating popcorn) 

SpongeBob: Hurry, Gary, the scary robot movie's on. 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: What do you mean I shouldn't watch this? Scary movies don't always freak me out. (scene cuts to SpongeBob lying in his bed, whimpering and shivering) What if Mom is a robot? What if Uncle Sherm is a robot? What if Gary is a robot? Gary? (Gary is sleeping) Psst, Gary? Gere-Bear? (pokes Gary's eye, causing him to wake up) 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: Gary, if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right? 

Gary: Meow. 

SpongeBob: Oh, I've got nothing to worry about. And now to get a good night's sleep. (goes to sleep. Dreams about running and screaming from the robot from the movie earlier. Scene cuts to the next day at the Krusty Krab, with SpongeBob in the kitchen, panting) Robot! Oh my gosh! (robot turns out to be a sack of potatoes, a dust pan and broom, and a bucket) Huh? (chuckles nervously) 

Mr. Krabs: How about a little music to count me money to? (turns on the radio that is next to him) 

Radio DJ: And now for the #1 song in Bikini Bottom: "Electric Zoo." (techno beat is heard) 

Mr. Krabs: Hey, that's pretty catchy. Bee-bee-boo-bop, bee-bee-boo-beep. Yeah, that's not bad. I love this young people's music. (scene cuts to kitchen)

SpongeBob: (A buzzer goes off) I surrender! Oh. 

Squidward: SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (His hat flies onto Squidward's nose) 

SpongeBob: Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose? 

Squidward: (takes off the hat and puts it back on SpongeBob’s head) I'm not wearing your hat on my nose, I'm waiting for #17's order! 

SpongeBob: #17 -- (holds up a tray with food) Krabby Patty and a medium beverage. Course. Sorry, Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today. I guess I'm a little bit jumpy. I keep thinking robots are taking over the world, probably on account of this movie I watched last night where robots take over the world. I even asked Gary if he was a robot! Pretty funny, huh? 

Squidward: (sarcastically) Hilarious. Just deliver the food. 

SpongeBob: (delivers the food to the customer) There you go! Enjoy your... Say, you're not a robot, are you? 

Customer: No, I'm not. 

SpongeBob: Well, keep your eyes peeled. They're everywhere. Back to work! (walks by Mr. Krabs' office) 

Mr. Krabs: I feel completely recharged! 

SpongeBob: That sounds like Mr. Krabs. (peeks in the window) 

Mr. Krabs: Come on, little buddy, play it again. (shakes his radio) Please? One more time, for me. 

SpongeBob: That was strange. Mr. Krabs was talking to his radio, and he said he feels "recharged". (laughs) If I didn't know better, I'd say he was... (scene zooms in on SpongeBob) ...a robot. Nah. 

Mr. Krabs: (calls the radio station) Yes, hello. I was wondering if you could play that song again. 

Radio DJ: Hmmm, which one, man? 

Mr. Krabs: The one that goes "bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-beep."

Radio DJ: No, man. You're thinking of "bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-bop." 

Mr. Krabs: Bee-boo-boo, boo-boo-bop? Bee-boo-boo-bop? Boo-boo-bee-bop? Not "bee-boo-boo-beep"? Bop? Beep? Boo-boo-bop! (SpongeBob screams) 

SpongeBob: Oh my gosh. Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds? Could it be that he's... (scene zooms in on him) ...a robot? Nah. (peeks into the window again and sees Mr. Krabs dancing on his desk. He jumps onto Squidward's arms) Oh, Squidward, it's terrible! Mr. Krabs...talking to radio...beeping sounds...strange dancing... robot! 

Squidward: (picks up SpongeBob off his arms) That's great, SpongeBob. Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen? (throws him in the kitchen but SpongeBob reappears beside him. Squidward is confused and looks around for how he did it) 

SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward! Mr. Krabs is a robot. And I can prove it, too. 

Squidward: How did you...? 

SpongeBob: Let's see, in the movie the robot's didn't have a sense of humor! They couldn't laugh. Hey, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (runs up to the counter) What is it, boy? 

SpongeBob: Squidward just told me a hilarious joke and I thought you might like to hear it. 

Mr. Krabs: Is it true, Squidward? Is it hilarious? 

Squidward: Umm...yeah, sure. 

Mr. Krabs: Well, let's hear it, lad. 

SpongeBob: Okay, here it goes! Uhh, how'd it go Squidward? 

Squidward: (chuckles nervously) Uhh, it went, umm, uhh, let's see, uhh...why couldn't the eleven-year-old get into the pirate movie? 

Mr. Krabs: Why? 

Squidward: It was rated "Arr!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Arr! Because it's...about...pirates. 

Mr. Krabs: I'm not paying you to do stand up, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work! 

SpongeBob: (gasps) Not even a chuckle. See, Squidward? He didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh because he's... (scene zooms in on him) ...a robot. 

Squidward: There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob. He's obviously heard it before. The only reason you think Krabs is a robot is because you watched that stupid movie. Now why don't you... 

SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (runs up to the counter again) What? What is it, boy?

SpongeBob: Squidward's father never hugged him. Isn't that sad? (cries) 

Mr. Krabs: Yes, I suppose that is rather sad, but Squidward can hug himself during his break! Now get back to work! 

SpongeBob: Just like the robot in the movie. He couldn't cry either. 

Squidward: SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous. I'll have you know my father loved me very much! 

SpongeBob: That's the final test, Squidward -- the love test. Robots can't love. 

Squidward: No, wait, SpongeBob! 

SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (runs up to the counter again) What is it, SpongeBob?! 

SpongeBob: I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you! (long pause, Mr. Krabs makes a blank expression on his face) 

Mr. Krabs: (coldly) Get back to work, Mr. Squidward. 

SpongeBob: (gulps) Squidward? (Mr. Krabs is at his desk writing something when the radio stops working) 

Mr. Krabs: Aw, me radio died! (takes out the batteries and looks at them) Hmmm, these batteries still have a little juice in 'em. I know! I'll give 'em to Pearl for Christmas. (puts the batteries in his back pocket. A bell rings sending Mr. Krabs to a pot of boiling water) Me hard-boiled egg is ready! (picks up a pair of tongs) I can already taste it. Come to Papa. (takes the egg out of the water with his tongs) Gotcha! And what good is a hard-boiled egg without a little salt? (sprinkles a little salt on it) 

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! 

Mr. Krabs: (accidentally breaks the egg and spills salt in his eyes) AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AH, MY EYES!!!! AHHH!!!!! 

SpongeBob: Mr... (Squidward puts his hand over SpongeBob’s mouth) 

Squidward: Will you be quiet? Now listen, what did these robots in the movie look like? 

SpongeBob: Well, they had piercing red eyes, metal pinchers for hands, and they ran on batteries. 

Squidward: Ok, so tell me, does Mr. Krabs look anything like that? (Mr. Krabs opens the office door)

Mr. Krabs: AHH!!, AHH!!!, AHH!!!!, (his eyes are piercing red, his pair of the tongs snip, then it shows the batteries in his pocket) AHH!!!!!, LAH, LAH, LAH, LAH!!!!!!!!

Squidward and SpongeBob: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Mr. Krabs: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (runs to the restroom)

Squidward: I'll evacuate the customers, you call the navy! 

SpongeBob: (runs over to the phone) Hello, Operator? Get me the navy! 

Operator: Hello, you've reached the navy's automated phone service. 

SpongeBob: Squidward, the robots are running the navy! 

Squidward: Not the navy! (over loudspeaker) Attention, everyone, run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!
(everyone is silent) Our world! (all the customers run out screaming) What do we do now? 

SpongeBob: I don't know. Hey, a nickel! 

Squidward: SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob: Sorry. 

Mr. Krabs: (walks out of the restroom, calmly) Ah, that's better. (walks back to his office) Bee-boo-boo-boo-bee-bop, boo-
boo-bop.

Squidward: We need to find out what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how? 

SpongeBob: Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy, and they get the poop on the robot. 

Squidward: They poop on the robot? 

SpongeBob: Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop, ask questions, get information. 

Squidward: I never thought I'd say this, but SpongeBob, let's get that poop! (grabs the book 'How To Torture' and reads
it with SpongeBob. SpongeBob grabs some rope while Squidward grabs a hammer and saw. SpongeBob grabs some old comedy
records. Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' office, where an angry SpongeBob & Squidward enter) 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, hello boys. What can I do for you? (SpongeBob & Squidward angrily lock the door) Heh, why did you lock the door?
Why do you have that rope? Who's watching the cash register?! (shot of outside the Krusty Krab where loud crashing and
everyone screaming can be heard) SpongeBob! Squidward! What's the meaning of this?! Untie me this instant! 

Squidward: Shut up! (angrily slaps Mr. Krabs) 

Mr. Krabs: Sweet [[Davy Jones]]! What the heck is going on?! 

Squidward: I said shut up, you bucket of bolts! (angrily slaps him again) 

SpongeBob: I can't take it! (runs off, crying) 

Squidward: SpongeBob, are you okay? 

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that is just too horrible to watch! 

Squidward: No, that's not Mr. Krabs. That's Robot Krabs. (Mr. Krabs is trying to get out of his chair) 

SpongeBob: Oh, yeah. 

Squidward: And the only way to deal with these robot types is to find out what they know. 

SpongeBob: Right. (angrily slaps Mr. Krabs) 

Squidward: SpongeBob, you gotta ask him a question first. 

SpongeBob: Oh yeah. What color is my underwear? (angrily slaps him again)

Squidward: SpongeBob, let me handle this. (turns a light on Mr. Krabs) Where's Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: What are you talking about? I'm Mr. Krabs. (Squid angrily slaps him again) 

Squidward: We can do this all night if you want. Where's Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: I'm Mr. Krabs. 

SpongeBob: Where's Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: I'm Mr. Krabs. 

Squidward: Where's Mr. Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: I am Mr. Krabs! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! 

SpongeBob: This is one stubborn robot. 

Mr. Krabs: (Angrily yells) '''''WHAT?!?!''''' (his yelling knocks over the light) '''''YOU THINK I'M A ROBOT?!?!?!''''' 

Squidward: We don't think; we know. 

Mr. Krabs: That's the silliest thing I ever heard! I am Mr. Krabs! 

Squidward: (walks over to SpongeBob) He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way. 

SpongeBob: I got an idea. (pokes Squidward's nose) Keep an eye on him, Squidward. Don't fall for any of his robo-tricks.
(runs out and returns later) If Robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is, maybe one of his little robot friends will.
(holds up a blender) 

Squidward: SpongeBob, uhh, that's a blender. 

SpongeBob: Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before. He called it his "little buddy." 

Squidward: Oh, really? Put it on the table, SpongeBob. 

Mr. Krabs: You're gonna interrogate my blender? You're crazy. 

Squidward: We're just gonna see what your "little buddy" knows. (SpongeBob sets the blender on Mr. Krabs' desk. Squidward
holds up a bat) 

Mr. Krabs: No, wait! What are you gonna do to me blender?! That cost me money. 

Squidward: Where's Mr. Krabs? (shot of the blender) Not talking, eh? (breaks the blender with the bat) 

Mr. Krabs: No! That cost me $24.95! 

SpongeBob: I guess it didn't know anything. 

Squidward: Go get the toaster. (SpongeBob gets the toaster then puts it on Mr. Krabs' desk) 

Mr. Krabs: No, not me toaster. That cost me $32.50! (Squidward breaks the toaster. Then SpongeBob sets another blender on
the desk) $62.67! (Squidward breaks it. SpongeBob picks up a coffee maker) Four...well, actually,
that one was a gift. (Squidward breaks it) '''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''' (SpongeBob puts the cash register on the desk) 

SpongeBob: This is the last robot, Squidward. 

Mr. Krabs: No, not my cash register! I raised it myself. I got it when it was just a little calculator. No-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoo!!! (cries) 

Squidward: I thought you said robots can't cry. 

SpongeBob: I also said they couldn't love. 

Mr. Krabs: I loved it like it was me own. 

SpongeBob: Uh, at least he's not laughing. 

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I remember the laughs we used to share! 

Squidward: SpongeBob, uhh, how did that movie of yours end? 

SpongeBob: The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great! Turns out there weren't any robots after all. It was just
their...imagination. (chuckles nervously then checks his watch) Hey, it's time to feed Gary. (runs out while Squidward
smiles at Mr. Krabs and sweeps) 

Mr. Krabs: '''''GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, SQUIDWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!''''' (The screen shakes)

{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: Can You Spare a Dime?

2017-02-01T23:44:49Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: As Seen on TV|As Seen on TV]]
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|}

Episode Article: [[Can You Spare a Dime?]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]

==Dialogue==

'''Narrator''': Closing time at the Krusty Krab 

'''Mr. Krabs''': 51, 52, 53... 

'''Squidward''': 29, 30, 31... 

'''SpongeBob''': 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3... 

'''Squidward''': Mr. Krabs, can we please go now? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Perhaps, one of our more loyal workers can enlighten you on company policy. 

'''SpongeBob''': The Krusty Krab Employee Manual; 2nd revised edition; page 35; section 19; clause 3a states: All staff must remain on the premises until the days receipts are fully accounted for. 

'''Squidward''': But that's not fair! 

'''SpongeBob''': Clause 3b: The provider reserves the right to be unfair. 

'''Squidward''': Teacher's pet. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Let's see...(counts money in register)...5, 10, 25, blue, applesauce. Everything looks to be in order...except, (gasps), where is it? (takes apart the register and searches for a dime) Where is it? 

'''Squidward''': What? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': My dime. Me special dime. The first dime I ever made. I always keep it in the back of the register for luck. 

'''Squidward''': Well, I haven't seen it. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': (suspects Squidward of stealing it) Hmmm, are you prepared to say that with your hand on top of a stack of interpretive dance quarterlies? 

'''Squidward''': Of course I'm... What are you saying? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Me? I ain't saying nothing that would matter to anyone who would be able to take a lie detector test! (takes out a robotic lie detector) 

'''Squidward''': You're saying something! 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Heavens to Betsy, no. It's just that me lucky dime's gone missin', and you've been working the register all day! 

'''Squidward''': Are you accusing me of something? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, the way I see it there are 3 possibilities: 1) You stole it, 2) You stole it, or 3) YOU STOLE IT! 

'''Squidward''': I didn't take your precious dime!! 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Show me your tentacles. 

'''Squidward''': WHAT?! 

'''Mr. Krabs''': I wanna see every suction cup. 

'''Squidward''': (squeezes Mr. Krabs eyes with his tentacles until became very unstable) Here! Here! Here! See 'em?! 

'''Mr. Krabs''': You, you can't do that to me! I'm your boss! 

'''Squidward''': Not anymore, Mr. Krabs! I quit! (throws hat down but hat falls in slow motion) 

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) No! (saves hat on a pillow) 

'''Squidward''': I'm out of here! 

'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, you're making a big mistake! 

'''Squidward''': Mistake? Ha! The only mistake I ever made was wasting my life at the Krusty Krab! 

'''SpongeBob''': But a visit to the Krusty Krab makes everyone happy. And what could be better than serving up smiles? (smiles really big) 

'''Squidward''': Being dead, or anything else! 

'''SpongeBob''': I never knew you felt so strongly about it. 

'''Squidward''': Where have you been? 

'''SpongeBob''': Well, I guess I can't stop you, bur Squidward, it's a cold, cold world out there. No one's going to serve you happiness on a silver platter. (lady with cookies on a silver platter appears and gives SpongeBob a cookie) 

'''Lady''': Free sample? 

'''SpongeBob''': Cookies! 

'''Squidward''': Can I have one? 

'''SpongeBob''': Anyways, I just want you to know, if you ever get in trouble, come find me. I'll take care of you. 'Cause you and me...(grabs Squidward and pulls him toward himself)...we're like brothers, only closer. (lifts Squidward's shirt and their hearts are joined together beating) 

'''Squidward''': Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! SpongeBob, I don't need your help. I am ready to unlock my potential. I could be anything I set my mind to. (imagines himself as a football player, then imagines himself as a king, then imagines himself as an astronaut like Sandy) I could be a football player, or a king, or a spaceman. 

'''SpongeBob''': Or a football playing king in space...with a mustache. 

'''Squidward''': Yeah...uh-huh. Ya know, that reminds me, there's been something I've been wanting to say to you since the day we met. Goodbye. Next time you see me, this town will be eating out of the palm of my hands! (skips to a homeless Squidward in a box (Squidward might selling his house to buy a very expensive food) trying to get spare change in a cup) Spare change? Spare change, ma'am? 

'''SpongeBob''': Squidward? Squidward, is that you? 

'''Squidward''': Uh, I , uh...(closes his box) 

'''SpongeBob''': It's me, SpongeBob. (opens his box up) We used to work together. 

'''Squidward''': SpongeBob? 

'''SpongeBob''': There ya go. So, where you living these days?

'''Fish''': Squidward Tentacles? 

'''Squidward''': Yes? 

'''Fish''': Sign here please. (Squidward signs and the fish takes his box) 

'''Squidward''': Uh...no-where. 

'''SpongeBob''': That's great. And have you been doing with yourself? No wait, let me guess...hmmm, I see you've been working on that mustache, the catered clothes, the awful smell... You're a football player? 

'''Squidward''': No. 

'''SpongeBob''': A spaceman? 

'''Squidward''': No. 

'''SpongeBob''': A football playing king in spa... 

'''Squidward''': Don't you get it? I'm a loser! I lost my job, my home, everything! 

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) Even your paintings? 

'''Squidward''': Nobody would take them. So I had to eat them. (stomach shown to have a rectangular shape from painting. Squidward starts to cry out a fountain of tears into SpongeBob. SpongeBob soaks it up and becomes bigger but squishes himself to let the water out) 

'''SpongeBob''': There, there. You can come live with me. (shown at SpongeBob’s house) Here you go, Squidward. You can sleep in my bed. (Squidward is laying in SpongeBob’s bed) 

'''Squidward''': Ok, but just until I get a job. 1 day...2 days tops. 

'''SpongeBob''': (baby talk) Nonsense. You stay as long as you need to. (kisses Squidward on his forehead) Goodnight, my little angel. (the next morning SpongeBob rings a bell to wake Squidward) Breakfast is ready! You're gonna need to build up your strength again so I laid out a big buffet for you. 

'''Squidward''': And in bed, too? Aw, thanks SpongeBob. SpongeBob, I... 

'''SpongeBob''': Ahh! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Here comes the plane. (makes plane noises while attempting to put some food in Squidward's mouth with a spoon) 

'''Squidward''': It's really nice of you to help me in my time of need. I'll try not to be a burden. 

'''SpongeBob''': It's no trouble. Is there anything else I can do for you, winner? 

'''Squidward''': No, no, no. You've already...well...(shows SpongeBob putting lotion on his hand and then massaging Squidward's scalp, feeding him grapes, spraying his scalp with hairspray and shining it, massaging his back then his nose, giving him a bottle, giving him an acupuncture, and shining his head and seeing his reflection) 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, wow. Nurturing a broken spirit sure is a lot of work. I'm bushed. Still, it feels nice to do good. (yawns) Goodnight, Gary. 

'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, can I get a glass of water? (bottom floor light turns on and SpongeBob marches up stairs and turns on the light to give Squidward the water) Thank you. 

'''SpongeBob''': Good night. (marches back down stairs and turns off the light) 

'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, could I get some more blankets? (SpongeBob marches upstairs again turning on the lights on the way up there) 

'''SpongeBob''': Here you go. 

'''Squidward''': Thank you. (SpongeBob goes downstairs again but forgets to turn off Squidward's light) SpongeBob, you forgot to turn out the light! (SpongeBob marches upstairs) 

'''SpongeBob''': Goodnight. (turns off light and when he walks downstairs he trips and makes lots of noises) 

'''Gary''': Meow. 

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) Gary! Squidward is not a freeloader and he would never take advantage of me. 

'''Narrator''': Three Weeks Later. 

'''SpongeBob''': He's just having a hard time getting his confidence back. (falls down) 

'''Narrator''': Many Months Later. 

'''SpongeBob''': I'm sure he's close to a breakthrough. 

'''British Narrator''': So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one. 

'''Gary''': Meow, meow, meow. 

'''SpongeBob''': I know he still isn't looking for work! Don't rub it in! 

'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, where's my lemonade? 

'''SpongeBob''': Coming Squidward. 

'''Squidward''': (SpongeBob is running down the hallway) SpongeBob?! SpongeBob?! (SpongeBob enters his bedroom) And why aren't you in uniform? (SpongeBob exits room and re-enters in a maid outfit) It's about time you got here. 

'''SpongeBob''': Here you go, your majesty. 

'''Squidward''': I can't drink that. 

'''SpongeBob''': Why not? 

'''Squidward''': Are you blind? Just look at it. 

'''SpongeBob''': What about it? 

'''Squidward''': That lemon has 3 seeds in it. That's an odd number! I can't eat anything odd numbered. 

'''SpongeBob''': Fine, I'll just take it out. (takes out lemon and Squidward gets mad) 

'''Squidward''': No, no! It's already been contaminated by a bad lemon. It won't work. 

'''SpongeBob''': Hmmm, that's two things in this house that won't work. 

'''Squidward''': Then go fix them. 

'''SpongeBob''': (breaks glass of lemonade with his hands) Two things that won't work. 

'''Squidward''': I've changed my mind. I want soup instead. 

'''SpongeBob''': Ok. Don't move. (walks out the bedroom door and comes back in wearing normal clothes with a bowl of steaming
soup) Here you go. It's alphabet soup. I made it special. (shows soup with the phrase "GET A JOB" in alphabet letters but then Squidward slaps it out of SpongeBob’s hands) 

'''Squidward''': Condensed soup from a can? Disgusting! Now you've ruined my appetite, go fetch me something to read. 

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, ok. How about this? (pulls out a newspaper with the "job listings" page on the front) 

'''Squidward''': (gasps) Get that away from me. You know I'm allergic to newsprint. 

'''SpongeBob''': (chuckles) Ya know, when you swatted that newspaper out of my hands, it reminded me of something a friend of mine did...at his JOB! (SpongeBob’s alarm blows him away) 

'''Squidward''': 4 o'clock. Time for my story. Hurry up, they won't hold the show while you laze around. (SpongeBob rolls in a TV and turns it on) 

'''Puppet #1''': (puppet #2 is whistling) Hey, where are you going? 

'''Puppet #2''': To my job. 

'''Puppet #1''': You have a job? 

'''Puppet #2''': Why wouldn't I? I'm not some kind of lazy inconsiderate jerk who lays in bed all day. 

'''Puppet #1''': Say, where can I get one of these...jobs? 

'''Puppet #2''': Oh they're everywhere. Especially if you're green and have six tentacles. 

'''Puppet #1''': Thanks. I'm gonna go look for one so that I can stop mooching off my friends and they can get back to their lives. 

'''Squidward''': This isn't my show. SpongeBob, the remote control is broken! Get over here and fix it right now! (SpongeBob throws the TV away) 

'''SpongeBob''': I've got a better idea. Why don't I call someone whose JOB is to fix it. You know why? Because when I want a JOB done I get someone with a JOB to do that JOB!!!!!

'''Squidward''': What are you saying? 

'''SpongeBob''': AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (smashes a hole in his house out the side of the house and drags to the Krusty Krab) 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Donate to the children's fund? Why? What have children ever done for me? (SpongeBob grabs phone and throws it away) 

'''SpongeBob''': You want your dime back?! (takes one out) Take it!! Now Squidward can come back, right? (Mr. Krabs checks the dime through a telescope) 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Wrong. That's not my first dime. 

'''SpongeBob''': Then have some more dimes. (throws out more dimes) I've got plenty of them. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': You can't put a price on me first dime. And I can't forgive that thieving Squidward for stealing it. 

'''SpongeBob''': (grabs Mr. Krabs and chokes him) Listen you crustaceous cheap-skate! Squidward's been living at my house driving me crazy! '''AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA HIRE HIM BACK ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME?!''' ''Italic text''(a pre-historic dime falls out of Mr. Krabs back pocket) What's that? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': (gasps) Me first dime. Oh, dimey, I'll never lose you again. 

'''SpongeBob''': This is a dime? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': I've been in business a long time, boy. 

'''SpongeBob''': So, if Squidward never stole the dime, he can come back to work, right? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Aye lad, just let the dime and me have our privacy. 

'''SpongeBob''': YEEE-HOO-HOO!! 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, Mr. Squidward, it's good to have you back.

'''Squidward''': Well, it's kind of good to be back, sir. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': It's all water under the bridge now. 

'''Squidward''': I agree, sir. 

'''Mr. Krabs''': After all I'm sure you didn't mean to misplace me dime. 

'''Squidward''': What the...? What are you saying? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, it's obvious that you put the dime in me pants. Dimes just don't fly into peoples' pants. 

'''Squidward''': Are you accusing me of something? 

'''Mr. Krabs''': (SpongeBob puts the maid costume on over his clothes) Well, the way I see it there are 3 possibilities: 1) You put the dime in me pants, 2) you put the dime in me pants, OR 3) '''YOU PUT THE DIME IN ME PANTS!!!'''''Italic text''{{Transcripts/Season 3}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]

Episode Transcript: The Fry Cook Games

2017-02-01T23:42:00Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Jellyfish Hunter|Jellyfish Hunter]]
|[[Episode Transcript: Squid on Strike|Squid on Strike]]
|}

Episode Article: [[The Fry Cook Games (Episode)|The Fry Cook Games]]

==Characters==

*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Frank (Muscular Goldfish)]]
*[[Harold]]

==Dialogue==

Scene begins outside of the Fast Food Coliseum.) 

'''Fish Head:''' Welcome, sports fans, to the 21st annual Bikini Bottom Fry Cook Games. 

(Horns are played as a blue spotted fish runs into the stadium, holding a small torch. He runs up the stairs to a huge
hamburger.) 

'''Blue Spotted Fish:''' I declare these Fry Cook Games... open!

(A gust of wind blows by and puts out the flame on the torch. "Please Stand By" appears on the screen. The horns blow again and the fish runs back into the stadium, this time shielding the torch with his hand and panting. He runs back up the stairs to the huge hamburger.) 

'''Fish Head:''' I declare these Fry Cook Games... 

(blue spotted fish lights the huge hamburger.) 

'''Fish Head:''' ... open! 

(Blue spotted fish starts on fire.) 

'''Fish Head:''' So begin the 21st Fry Cook Games. I'm a realistic Fish Head, and it's a beautiful day here at Bikini Bottom's
Fast Food Coliseum. 

(A clip plays showing a woman tossing a large straw into a large plastic cup.) 

'''Fish Head:''' They come from everywhere microwaves hum.

(A clip of a man throwing an uncooked patty onto a grill is shown.) 

'''Fish Head:''' Patties sizzle. 

(A clip of a fish bouncing on top of a large cube of gelatin and landing on a mat is shown.) 

'''Fish Head:''' And heat lamps keep the fast food spirit warm... and Soggy. But the real story is the bitter rivalry between
former competitors Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab and Plankton of the Chum Bucket. 

(Pictures of both Mr. Krabs and Plankton appear. A clip of Mr. Krabs lifting up two barrels of pickles is shown.) 

'''Fish Head:''' Who could forget the year Mr. Krabs won gold for this five hundred pickle clean-and-jerk? 

(Mr. Krabs is shown on a podium on the number one step, while Plankton is below him on the second.) 

'''Fish Head:''' Not Plankton. 

(Plankton sprays Mr. Krabs with a hose. A clip of Plankton flipping around while hanging onto two onion rings is shown.) 

'''Fish Head:''' Or when Plankton won the hearts of millions by performing this perfect onion ring routine... with a broken antenna? 

(A cast is around Plankton's left antenna. Plankton is shown in the number one spot on the podium this time, with Mr. Krabs below him.) 

'''Fish Head:''' Krabs wasn't moved. 

(Mr. Krabs blows Plankton off the podium.) 

'''Fish Head:''' And now, late word is that this year, the Krusty Krab will be represented by a new competitor, on what is perhaps the greatest day of his young life. (A picture of a shadowy figure of a body with a question mark over it appears. The figure turns around and is revealed to be SpongeBob, wearing a sweatband and sports uniform. SpongeBob is standing next to Mr. Krabs, who is sitting on a bench staring at a stopwatch, then shows Ernie in a picture) 

'''SpongeBob:''' This is perhaps the greatest day of my young life, Mr. Krabs. 

(SpongeBob starts jogging in place.) 

'''SpongeBob:''' I can't believe I'm representing the Krusty Krab in the Fry Cook Games. 

(A spotlight shines down on him and he puts his hand on his heart.) 

'''SpongeBob:''' To bring home the gold is to bring honor and glory to the Krusty Krab. 

'''Mr. Krabs:''' And all that free publicity will bring in customers! So don't lose! 

(Mr. Krabs walks away.) 

SpongeBob: Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs! 

(SpongeBob starts doing pushups.) 

SpongeBob: Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! 

(Patrick walks up.) 

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob. 

(SpongeBob stops.) 

SpongeBob: Hi, Patrick. 

(SpongeBob continues doing pushups.) 

Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! 

(SpongeBob starts groaning.) 

Patrick: Are you trying to move the ground? You'll never move it like that. You gotta get under...(Patrick rips the piece of grass out from under SpongeBob, flipping him over.) …neath it! 

SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick, I'm trying to train for the games. 

Patrick: Games? Can I play? 

SpongeBob: Ah, sorry, Patrick. 

(SpongeBob starts jumping rope.) 

SpongeBob: You have to be a fry cook. 

Patrick: Be a fry cook? Is that all I gotta do? That'll be easy!

(SpongeBob tosses his jump rope behind him.) 

SpongeBob: What do you mean easy? 

(Patrick laughs.) 

Patrick: How hard can it be? 

SpongeBob: They don't let just anybody be a fry cook. We're an elite corp! 

Patrick: Oh, come on. You're just flippin' patties. 

SpongeBob: Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! 

(Patrick flips a rock over with his foot.) 

Patrick: Tssss... 

SpongeBob: Why don't you go home Patrick? You can compete in the Laying Under a Rock All Day Games! 

(Patrick gasps.) 

Patrick: Well, at least I don't polish my fingernails.

(SpongeBob gasps and points at Patrick.) 

SpongeBob: You take that back! 

(SpongeBob's index finger gleams. Patrick dances around.) 

Patrick: Fingernails! Fingernails! Fingernails! 

SpongeBob: You don't even have fingernails. 

Patrick: I cannot believe what I am hearing! 

SpongeBob: How can you hear it? You don't have ears either!

(Patrick stutters.) 

Patrick: Holes! Holes! 

SpongeBob: Cone head! 

Patrick: Yellow! 

SpongeBob: Pink! 

(Patrick screams and holds his head.) 

Patrick: I'm gonna get a job as a fry cook and it'll be easy! 

(Patrick walks off. SpongeBob growls and starts doing pushups again, this time faster) 

SpongeBob: Fine! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! 

(Mr. Krabs sniffs the air.) 

Mr. Krabs: What's that smell in the air? I smell Plankton!

(Camera zooms over to Plankton, who is standing in the entranceway of the stadium.) 

(Plankton pulls out a human nose from behind him.) 

Plankton: Oh yeah?! Well, I smell... 

(Plankton sniffs himself.) 

Plankton: Pew! He's right. 

(Mr. Krabs runs over, his feet twinkling. Plankton does the same. Mr. Krabs makes a Broadway pose as corresponding music plays. Plankton makes a similar pose, holding a cane and a top hat. Mr. Krabs plays a piano, while Plankton blows into a tuba, messing up the rhythm.) 

Plankton: I love messing things up. 

(Plankton meets up with Mr. Krabs by getting on a small platform and pulling a lever which goes up to Mr. Krabs' height.) 

Plankton: Are you ready to do or die, Krabs? 

Mr. Krabs: Always ready, Plankton. Always ready. 

Plankton: Good. Because today, the Chum Bucket is going to kick... 

(Plankton raises his arm and accidentally whacks the lever, causing him to lower again. He raises it back up.) 

Plankton: ...your carapace! 

Mr. Krabs: That's what you think, but I got me a champion. SpongeBob! Show him! 

(SpongeBob does a karate routine, using two spatulas as nunchucks, then laughs innocently when he finishes.) 

Mr. Krabs: Look at him. In his prime. You ain't got no chance! 

Plankton: That's where you're wrong, Krabs, for I too have a champion. 

(Plankton lowers a microphone.) 

Plankton: Ladies and gentlemen, turn your attention to the southwest corridor! 

(The crowd turns to the southeast corridor.) 

Plankton: Other way! Imbeciles. 

(The crowd turns to the southwest corridor.) 

Plankton: And... stop! Perfect. 

(In the entranceway, an extremely large shadow approaches, making loud stomps on the way.) 
Plankton: Representing the Chum Bucket, a creature so fearsome, so terrible, so mind-bendingly large, that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the stadium. (Two parents cover up their child's eyes, and he covers theirs. Mr. Krabs' eyes sink into his shell. A muscular fish sits, trembling in the audience. He quickly gets up to leave.) 

Muscular Fish: I gotta get outta here! 

Plankton: Too late! Ready or not, here he comes. Quake with fear, you mortal fools. Bow down before the awesome might of... 

(The wall of the stadium explodes. Fish fly everywhere. When the dust clears up, a huge, purple muscular fish is seen.) 

Plankton: ...this huge guy who is carrying the real contestant... 

(The huge fish turns around, revealing Patrick to be strapped to his back.) 

Plankton: ...Patrick Star! 

(Patrick waves happily. SpongeBob stares in shock. He walks up as Patrick gets down from the huge fish's back.) 

SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing here? You're not a fry cook. 

Patrick: Oh, yes I am, Mr. SpongeBob SuperiorPants. 

(Patrick lifts up his shirt.) 

Patrick: Check it out! 

(A name tag is stuck to his chest that says, "The Chum Bucket, Patrick.") 

Patrick: I've been working for the Chum Bucket for almost five minutes. 

SpongeBob: Well, it doesn't matter anyway 'cause you're gonna eat my dust. 

Patrick: Nuh uh. I'm eating my own dust. 

SpongeBob: Not if I eat it first. 

Patrick: Yellow! 

SpongeBob: Pink! 

(The two walk away.) 

SpongeBob: I can't believe it, Mr. Krabs. I thought Patrick was my friend. 

Mr. Krabs: Friend? Not in here he ain't. 

SpongeBob: What do you mean? 

Plankton: He's not really your friend. 

Patrick: He's not? 

Plankton: He's plotting your downfall right now! 

SpongeBob: He is? 

Mr. Krabs: He's gonna stab you in the back. 

Patrick: He wouldn't! 

Plankton: Of course he would. Just look at him. Square: the shape of evil! 

Mr. Krabs: He's making a mockery of your profession. Are we gonna let some pretender take away what belongs to the Krusty Krab? 

SpongeBob: No! 

Plankton: Then get mean! 

Patrick: I'm mean! 

Mr. Krabs: Get angry! 

SpongeBob: I'm angry! 

Plankton: Now get out there! 

Mr. Krabs: And win... 

Plankton: That... 

Mr. Krabs: Medal! 

Patrick: Ahhh! 

SpongeBob: Ahhh! 

SpongeBob and Patrick: Ahhh! 

Huge Fish: Ahhh. 

(Scene cuts to the first event.) 

Fish Head: Our first event, the deep fry pole vault. (A deep fryer labeled "Fry King" sits in front of two high poles. SpongeBob stands in front of Mr. Krabs, holding a long pole.) 

Mr. Krabs: Win this one for the Krusty Krab. 

SpongeBob: For the Krusty Krab!!! (SpongeBob flips over the poles and the deep fry and splats down on the circle drawn in the ground. The crowd gasps. SpongeBob forms a number one sign and the crowd cheers.) 

Plankton: Win this one because I told you too. 

Patrick: Because you told me too!!! (Patrick flips over the poles but lands on the handle of the deep fryer, flinging it at the crowd and turning them into fish sticks. A vendor walks up and turns on a heat lamp.) 

Vendor: Fish sticks! Get your fish sticks here! 

(Scene cuts to the second event. SpongeBob and Patrick are standing in front of a tall ladder that leads to a diving board, perched above a bowl of chocolate syrup.) 

Fish Head: The next event: the chocolate high dive. 

SpongeBob: Make way for the real fry cook, Patrick. (Patrick glares at SpongeBob) 

(SpongeBob climbs up the ladder.) 

Fish Head: For his dive, SpongeBob will be attempting a full banana fudge pop with two sticks. 

(SpongeBob holds up two popsicle sticks and sticks them into the top of his head)) 

Fish Head: And now, absolute silence. 

(The crowd stops chattering.) 

(SpongeBob jumps off the diving board.) 

SpongeBob: I scream for ice cream! (SpongeBob flips around a couple times, then leaps toward the bowl. He lands in the chocolate syrup getting coated in it, then hops out of it and into a sandbox full of toasted almonds.) 

Fish Head: Perfect entry! And toasted almonds? That's unexpected. 

(SpongeBob lands in the circle.) 

Fish Head: He stuck it! 

(SpongeBob turns around toward the camera and grins.) 

Fish Head: And just look at that even coating. 

(SpongeBob walks upside-down past Patrick, using the popsicle sticks for legs.) 

SpongeBob: Top that, Pinky. 

(Plankton walks up.) 

Plankton: Almonds? Curse him, that's good. But perhaps a bit too highbrow for this crowd. He thinks he's better than them! 

(Patrick groans.) 

Plankton: Better than you! 

(Patrick groans louder.) 

Plankton: Now get up there and show him how the common man prepares his frozen dairy treats! 

(Patrick screams, then hops up onto the diving board with the lower half of his body inside an ice cream cone.) 

Fish Head: Patrick will be resurrecting an old favorite. The single scoop strawberry cone with a chocolate dip. 

(Patrick slowly leans off the edge until he falls off the diving board.) 

Fish Head: Just look at that concentration. 
(Patrick splashes into the bowl, with chocolate syrup flying everywhere.) 

Fish Head: Ooh, a little shaky on that entrance. 

(A live action strawberry cone with a chocolate dip is shown.) 

Fish Head: But just look at that form! 

(Patrick hops up to SpongeBob grinning while SB is very angry about losing.) 

Patrick: Take that, yellow boy! 

SpongeBob: Laugh while you can, Pinky. It's not over yet. 

Patrick: That's what you think, but it's not over yet. 

(A clip of highlights from the games is shown, beginning with SpongeBob tossing a patty. Patrick skates on a large grill with butter on his feet. Patrick tosses a large bottle of ketchup up in the air. SpongeBob and Patrick race on a track carrying trays full of food; the two fly up in the air on two large spatulas. They both do a dance wearing colorful outfits and fruit hats. The clip ends. A large arena on top of a hamburger is on screen. The realistic Fish Head is still reporting.) 

Fish Head: It's not over yet! With the score tied, we go to our final event! Bun wrestling. Who will take home the gold? Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab? 

(Rubbing SpongeBob's shoulders.) 

Mr. Krabs: Don't forget, he called ye yellow. 

(SpongeBob picks up a metal chain, bites off and chews up the middle of it. He bares his teeth, revealing the metal chain to now be attached to them like braces.) 

Fish Head: Or Plankton of the Chum Bucket? 

Plankton: Don't forget, he called you pink! 

(Plankton hops away. Patrick growls as he picks up a lemon, rips it in half, and puts both halves into each of his eyes.) 

Patrick: (In pain) Ahhhhh! 

(Heavy metal music plays)

(The bell rings. SpongeBob tears off his blue robe, showing off his extremely large, muscular body. Patrick rips off his own green robe, underneath which he is wearing a business suit. He tears off the business suit, also revealing an extremely large, muscular body. The two dive at each other, screaming, until they collide. They wrestle and continue to wind up in twisted positions. They spin around and wind up wrestling with themselves. They realize this, and dive back at each other. Patrick sits on top of SpongeBob, holding his foot.) 

Patrick: Forget the Chum Bucket. This is personal. 

(Patrick takes off SpongeBob's shoe and licks his foot slowly. SpongeBob screams in agony. The two wrestle again. SpongeBob sits on Patrick's chest and lifts up a pencil with the eraser side pointing toward Patrick. He slowly brings it down to his name tag and erases the "Pat" in "Patrick" and leaving "rick") 

Patrick: Ahhhhhhhhh! My name's... not... RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!! (Patrick tackles SpongeBob and the two wrestle once more.) 

SpongeBob: I don't like you! 

Patrick: I don't like you more! 

SpongeBob: I never liked you! 

Patrick: I a thousand times never liked you! 

SpongeBob: Pink! 

Patrick: Yellow! 

(They struggle to push each other until both of their pants rip and fall down. Patrick's underwear is yellow. SpongeBob's underwear is pink.) 

SpongeBob: Yellow? 

Patrick: Pink? 

(Their eyes start to water.) 

SpongeBob and Patrick: You do care! 

(They both start crying and hug each other.) 

SpongeBob: Let's promise never to fight again, buddy.

Patrick: Yeah, pal. Let's go home. 

(The two friends walk off whistling and holding hands. The crowd boos.) 

(Mr. Krabs runs up.) 

Mr. Krabs: Hey! Where ya going?! 

(Plankton runs up next to Mr. Krabs.) 

Plankton: Get back here and kill each other! 

Patrick: You're my best friend ever. 

SpongeBob: You too, Patrick. 

Patrick: You know, these were white when I bought 'em. 

(SpongeBob and Patrick exit the stadium as the crowd continues to boo)

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]

Episode Transcript: Procrastination

2017-02-01T23:39:50Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Krusty Love|Krusty Love]]
|[[Episode Transcript: I'm with Stupid|I'm with Stupid]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Procrastination (Episode)|Procrastination]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary]]
*Class
*Easy Chair
*Pants
*[[Flare]]
*Clock
*House
*Mailman
*Realistic Fish Head
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]] (seen in a deleted scene)
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]] (seen in a deleted scene)

==Dialogue==
(the bell rings)

'''Mrs. Puff''': OK, class, quiet, quiet. Now, get out your pencils and paper, and write down the assignment.

'''Students''': (groan)

'''SpongeBob''': Did you hear that? We get an assignment! (Nat gives an annoyed look)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Everyone must write an essay on What Not to Do at a Stoplight.

'''Students''': (groan again)

'''SpongeBob''': Did you hear that? What not to do at a Stoplight. (Nat glares at him)

'''Mrs. Puff''': In no less than 800 words. (squeals)

'''Students''': (groan again)

'''Nat''': (acting like SpongeBob): Did you hear that? 800 words!

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I know! (Nat frowns in annoyance)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Due tomorrow. And remember, class: work hard, and no goofing off.

(back at SpongeBob's house)

'''SpongeBob''': OK, Gary, no goofing off. I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written on paper. (Shows two pieces) Even more important than the paper is... (shows a pencil) ...the pencil. A pencil is sharp or as dull as I like. (To the pencil) Hmm.. funny thing, as my ideas grow, you shrink. Well, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay. (looks at window. It's colorful outside) OK, here we go. (begins writing) "What Not to Do at a Stoplight". Hey, this is easy! "By SpongeBob SquarePants". Ha, this essay is pure gold. And now, pencil, get ready to do your stuff, because here we go!

(The clock is shown. Several hours pass)

'''SpongeBob''': (has not written anything else) Gee, this is harder than I thought.

'''''Deleted Scene''':

''(SpongeBob looks outside. There is a carnival. Squidward is suntanning. A kid is eating ice cream. Jellyfish are playing tennis. Gary is playing with a ball. Patrick is rubbing Sandy with sunscreen)''

'''''Patrick''': Come on, SpongeBob!''

'''''SpongeBob''': It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super sailorific, sunshiny day. (groans) But I must press onward. Because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license! (a live-action drag race is shown. A car hits a wall, tumbles, and gets back up. Cut back to SpongeBob) Oh, yeah... This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. It's only six o'clock! Okay, okay, here we go. Here we go. (SpongeBob struggles to write) I know! I just need to get a little blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some calisthenics? (does calisthenics. While doing it, he recites "Hup hoo" several times) I can feel those juices pumpin' now.''

(SpongeBob moves his chair closer to the table. He does it a lot because of the fun noise it makes. He then laughs) Huh! What am I doing? I gotta write that paper. (pushes his chair in) Come on, pencil, make words.

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': Gary! Hey, hey, hey, Gary! How's my favorite mollusk? How about you and ol' SpongeBob fix you up something to eat?

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': What do you mean you're not hungry?

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': I know I have an essay to write. Now, come on, Gary. (pours some food) I've got to make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving till you eat every single bite. (he takes up a ladder and fills it to ceiling-level. Gary quickly eats it) Gary, are you sure you don't want some crème brûlée? Or some choco-flavored algae bits? (sees a pile of food on the floor) Gee, Gary sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay, knowing there's a mess in the kitchen. (cleans it up) Hmm. I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard-to-reach places too! And these dishes need to be cleaned! Can't have dirty garbage. (some time later, SpongeBob is finished) Well, I think it's clean enough now. (the kitchen is now chrome) Why, that didn't take too long. It's only... (checks the clock) 10:00! Oh. No more fooling around. I gotta get back to work. Okay, Mr. Essay, I say: prepare to be written! I'm doing it! (begins writing frantically in a montage) I'm doing it!... Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!... And some of these, and some of these!... Almost there and... (drops pencil) done. (sighs in relief) Now, let's see how it looks so far. The... (he has only written the word "The", in a fancy manner) Break time! Pacing always helps me think. (paces around the room) Let's see, only 799 words to go. Think, SpongeBob, think. (looks at the telephone, then at the paper, then back at the phone. Cut to Patrick in bed. His phone rings and he wakes up)

'''Patrick''': Who's that? (picks up phone) Hello?

'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick, what are you up to?

'''Patrick''': Sleeping.

'''SpongeBob''': That's really fascinating. Are you having a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on this...

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, you and I both know that you're just using me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay.

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) That is not true! I called to have an engaging conversation with you!

'''Patrick''': Well, I'm listening.

'''SpongeBob''': Uh...Marco!

'''Patrick''': Polo. (hangs up)

'''SpongeBob''': (listening to a dial tone) Yeah, well, I gotta get going, Patrick. Got an important essay to write. (hangs up phone) Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't he see that I'm busy? (notices eraser shavings on his paper) I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper! (throws them away) Now they're floating around my thinking space. (blows them away) So long, pesky particles! (they come back, and he chokes on one) I swallowed one! I'm choking! Water! Water! (goes to the kitchen and drinks water, then gasps in relief) That was a close one.

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': What do you mean overly dramatic, Gary? All that choking sure made me hungry.

'''Gary''': Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': I can't write on an empty stomach, Gary. I gotta have my brain food. (looking through his refrigerator) Now, let's see. White or rye bread...or pumpernickel? Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside. And the cheese. (doorbell rings) A visitor? For me? (opens the door) Hello!

'''Mailman''': Package for Mr. SquarePants.

'''SpongeBob''': Great! Thanks! So, you like delivering mail?

'''Mailman''': It puts bread on the table.

'''SpongeBob''': Rye or pumpernickel? (laughs)

'''Mailman''': Oh, brother.

'''SpongeBob''': So, do you deliver your own mail? Or do you have your own mailperson? But then, who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could, in theory, break the chain.

'''Mailman''': Don't you have a paper to write? (walks away)

'''SpongeBob''': (gulps) How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay? (glances back and forth several times, then slides backward into his house, turns and tiptoes in front of the TV)

'''Realistic Fish Head''': (speaking on the TV) In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay. And yet he continues to goof off. (his head leans through the TV screen into SpongeBob's face) When will he learn?

'''SpongeBob''': Hi-yah! (karate chops the TV causing a zap and the glass breaks. The room has a blackout and he lights a candle)

'''Easy Chair''': (SpongeBob turns to it) Hey! SpongeBob, over here! Come on! Take a seat! Put your feet up and relax!

(SpongeBob drops the candle on the floor and the fire on the candle goes out)

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps, as the bell rings the clock lights up as he looks at the clock) Oh, no! Midnight! (Panting, he runs in a hallway where the wall is full of paintings of clocks in the style of "Persistence of Memory") Must... get... back to desk! (runs to the table, but it has enlarged. He jumps up) Whew, that was a close call. (notices his pants are missing and he screams) My pants!

'''Pants''': Yoo hoo! Down here!

'''SpongeBob''': You get up here! I gotta get back to work!

'''Pants''': Freedom!

'''SpongeBob''': (runs out the door following the pants) Stop, pants! You get back here this instant! Pants! (The door closes. SpongeBob tries to get back in, but it is locked. He looks in the window. The candle is still lit. The clock's face pops off, revealing a mouth)

'''Clock''': (ghostly voice) Time's up, SpongeBob.

(The candle melts into a flame, Flare)

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) Burning!

'''Flare''': (takes SpongeBob's essay paper) Only 799 words to go! Hehehehe! (She burns the paper and leaps off the table)

'''SpongeBob''': No! (the inside of his house burns) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! What have I done? Help! Help! My house is on fire! (continues running around his burnt house, babbling incoherently, until the house comes to life)

'''House''': SpongeBob, why? Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?! Why didn't you just write your essay?! Stop wasting time!

'''SpongeBob''': (wakes up from his nightmare and takes the pencil off his face) Where's my essay! Oh, there you are! I must've dozed off. Let's see, where are we? (the paper only reads "The") Do I dare look at the clock? (looks at the clock, then gasps) It's almost 9:00! Class starts in five minutes! How am I going to write this whole paper in five minutes? How am I supposed to know what not to do at a stoplight? (realizing) Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight! And... (begins writing) ...making a sandwich. And lighting candles! And drinking water! And calling your friends! And karate chopping the TV! And shooting the breeze with the mailman. And falling asleep... (cut to SpongeBob, out of breath, running to the boating school) Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is! Mrs. Puff? (goes inside, but nobody is there) Where is everybody?

'''Mrs. Puff''': Oh, there you are, SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob''': Here you go, Mrs. Puff! All 800 words! All about stoplights and what not to do at 'em.

'''Mrs. Puff''': I'm sorry, SpongeBob. I tried to call you! I have to go to a teacher's convention.

'''SpongeBob''': But what about my essay?

'''Mrs. Puff''': Nah, I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See you next week! (exits)

(SpongeBob rips his essay. He then rips himself)

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
[[de:Episodenmitschrift: Der Aufsatz]]

Episode Transcript: Frankendoodle

2017-02-01T23:38:39Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{| border="1"
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
!Back Episode Transcript
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Welcome to the Chum Bucket|Welcome to the Chum Bucket]]
|[[Episode Transcript: The Secret Box|The Secret Box]]
|}

Episode Article: [[Frankendoodle (Episode)|Frankendoodle]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[DoodleBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Gary]]
*[[Artist At Sea]]
*[[French Narrator]]

==Dialogue==
(Scene opens as live-action shot of the man on a simple boat at sea with an easel and pencil)

'''French Narrator:''' Well, well, what is this? Ah, the artist at sea. Let us watch and see the fruits of his struggle. Ah, it seems that inspiration has struck.

'''Artist:''' Hmm...ah! (draws some strokes. he hums something. however, he drops his pencil into the sea) My pencil! What?

'''French Narrator:''' The artist has learned the first lesson of the sea: Always bring a spare pencil.

'''Artist:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (cut to the pencil dropping into the water, then cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick playing "Rock-Paper-Scissors" with bubbles)

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay. Ready, Patrick?

'''SpongeBob:''' One...

'''Patrick:''' Two...

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Three! (blows the bubbles. SpongeBob's scissor shaped bubble cuts Patrick's paper shaped bubble in half)

'''SpongeBob:''' Scissors beats paper, Patrick! (laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' One...

'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' two...

'''SpongeBob:''' three! (They blow a tie in paper) Patrick, how come you always do paper? (suddenly, the pencil drops and bursts their balloons and pierces the ground. the two scream)

'''Patrick:''' What is that thing SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob:''' It looks like a giant pencil.

'''Patrick:''' Go touch it.

'''SpongeBob:''' It is a giant pencil, Patrick! Let's draw some giant pictures with it.

'''Patrick:''' Whatcha drawin'?

'''SpongeBob:''' Stand back, Patrick! I can't draw with you breathing down my neck!

'''Patrick:''' Psh, artists.

'''SpongeBob:''' It's a jellyfish.

'''Patrick:''' Pretty good, SpongeBob! But it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.

'''SpongeBob:''' Eh, everybody's a critic.

'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, I think your drawing's coming to life!

'''SpongeBob:''' Now that's more like it, Mr. Critic!

'''Patrick:''' No, I mean look at it, it's swimming away!

'''SpongeBob:''' Do you know what this means, Patrick?

'''Patrick:''' Uh...your art can never hang in a museum?

'''SpongeBob:''' It means we found a magic pencil!

'''Patrick:''' Now all I need is a magic mustache and all my dreams will have come true.

'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Coming right up! (draws mustache on Patrick)

'''Patrick:''' Life is good! (the mustache floats away when coming to life) Easy come, easy go!

'''Squidward:''' Squidward, if you had some hair, you'd be the most gorgeous creature in the sea! You've got looks...talent...all you need is a full head of...(the moustache goes on his head and Squidward smiles) hair!

'''Patrick:''' My turn!

'''SpongeBob:''' Be careful, Patrick! Being an artist is a heavy responsibility. Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such.

'''Patrick:''' Come on! I was just going to draw a cartoon.

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay! Why didn't you say so? (Patrick draws a jellyfish with a frown and waving fist) Hey, look! Another jellyfish!

'''Patrick:''' It's Squidward, silly! (The Squidward drawing comes to life and mumbles in anger)

'''SpongeBob:''' He looks kind of creepy looking when he moves.

'''Patrick:''' yeah you're right, SpongeBob.

'''SpongeBob:''' We can't let him go into town! (Patrick erases it as the Squidward drawing screams)

'''Patrick:''' Poor Squidward.

'''SpongeBob:''' Okay! My brain just hatched an idea. (They run to Squidward's house where they draw a dollar on Squidward's green mat, attached to a string) (laughing) This is gonna be classic!

'''Squidward:''' (dressed up with the mustach still on his head) I think I fancy a stroll around the park.

'''SpongeBob:''' (doorbell rings) Oh, Squidward!

'''Squidward:''' What do you want?! Hello, what's this? Someone left me money for a perm. Come to Hairy! (SpongeBob pulls the string and the dollar flies away with the string and pulls Squidward onto the ground as Patrick and SpongeBob laugh) Ow! SpongeBob! (The mustache has fallen of Squidward's head) Oh, my hair! (The mustach floats away in the air) '''SPONGEBOB!!!!'''

'''SpongeBob:''' Wait! I've got another idea! This'll be the ultimate prank. I'll draw me, and when Squidward answers the door...it won't be me! (Draws a picture resembling himself which comes to life) Aww, look at him. Ain't he a doll!? All he needs is a tie. (draws a tie on the drawing of himself) Ready for action! (Laughing as Doodlebob goes to Squidward's door.)

'''Patrick:''' He's going to the door.

'''SpongeBob:''' He's knocking on the door.(Squidward walks out scowling as he sees Doodlebob)

'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward's answering the door and... (Doodlebob grabs Squidward and attacks him as SpongeBob watches in dismay)

Squidward: Oh ow ow ow ow ow ow ohh oww ow ow ow ow ow ow ow owww!!!

'''Patrick:''' He's beating up Squidward! (laughs)

'''SpongeBob:''' DoodleBoy, stop! (he throws Squidward back in his house. DoodleBob then steals the magic pencil and runs off)

'''Patrick:''' He's got the pencil.

'''SpongeBob:''' What have I done? We've got to find him! (Later they are searching through bushs) Where could he possibly be?

Patrick: Maybe he's in that poorly drawn pineapple. (Points to a pineapple drawing resembling SpongeBob's pineapple)

'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, let's go! (Patrick hides in a bush)

'''Patrick:''' (fearfully) I'm not going in there. (SpongeBob also hides)

'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Patrick. I'm right behind you. Baby steps. (They walk towards the pineapple hiding in the bush) Almost there... (DoodleBob draws a hole in their path which comes to life. They fall into it.)

Both: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! (They crash)

'''Patrick:''' What just happened?

'''DoodleBob:''' (gibberishly) You want that pencil? Then you better get up here!

'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Patrick. Give me a boost up!

'''Patrick:''' Can't we just stay down here where it's safe?

'''SpongeBob:''' No way. Listen, I created this ugly little monster and listen, I got to stop him. (a wrench falls and hits Patrick in his head) See what I mean, Patrick?

'''Patrick:''' (dopily smiles in pain) Where's the leak, ma'am? (They climb to the surface of the ground to see DoodleBob draw a bowling ball and roll it. It hits Patrick right in his cheek and turns into some pink bowling pins in reaction and a "strike" sign appears. Another then appears when Patrick falls to the ground and the bowling ball falls into the hole and unseenly smashes Patrick.)

'''SpongeBob:''' You okay down there, Patrick?

'''Patrick:''' (painly) FINLAND!!!!!

'''DoodleBob:''' (gibberishly) You'll never get me now! (Runs off in the distance. Later Pat and Sponge hide behind rocks when gibberish yelling is heard. They hide and watch the DoodleBob play with the pencil)

'''SpongeBob:''' There he is.

'''Patrick:''' He's hideous. He makes me sick, just looking at him. Those big bulgy eyes, that square body, those two buck teeth, and that stupid tie!

'''SpongeBob:''' Eh hem.

'''Patrick:''' Oh...but it looks good on you, SpongeBob! Heh heh.

'''DoodleBob:''' (gibberishly) Maybe I'll just sit down for a little while.

'''SpongeBob:''' He's putting down the pencil! This is our chance. On the count of three, we'll jump out and surprise him!

'''Patrick:''' Oh boy, a surprise Party!!!! Is it his birthday?"

'''DoodleBob:''' (bashes through the rock they're hiding behind and talks gibberishly) Did you say it's my birthday?! (picks SpongeBob up and attacks him)

'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! Patrick! Do something! (DoodleBob throws SpongeBob into something hard)AAAAAHHH!!!!

'''Patrick:''' Happy birthday! (hands DoodleBob a rock with two pieces of seaweed and coral on it) Here's your present. (DoodleBob smashes it on his head as Patrick dopily smiles in pain) You're welcome.

'''DoodleBob''' (Sees SpongeBob aiming the pencil's eraser at him and reacts gibberish) Uh oh...

'''SpongeBob:''' Hold it right there, DoodleBob. I brought you into this world and now I'm gonna take you out. Any last words?

'''DoodleBob:''' (defeatingly gibberishly talks) OK, I'll be outta here!

'''SpongeBob:''' I'm sorry, what was that?

'''DoodleBob:''' (frowns and speaks gibberish again) I said "OK I'll be outta..." (SpongeBob erases his face and DoodleBob runs off blind and smashes into a rock)

'''SpongeBob:''' Hold still, Doodle. This is for your own good. (begins to erase DoodleBob to oblivion) Take that and this and this and that and this that this that... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! I AM SPONGEBOB, DESTROYER OF EVIL!!!!!!

'''Patrick:''' Take it easy, it's just a drawing.

'''SpongeBob:''' Well, that takes care of that, eh, Patrick?

'''Patrick:''' Done and done

(DoodleBob's arm is still alive and inches like a caterpillar. Later at night SpongeBob is seen making several posh objects in his house with the pencil like a cookoo clock, a posh bed with a canipe, and a grandfather clock)

'''SpongeBob:''' Gee, Gary, you should have been there! It sure was exciting, but you know, I kind of miss the little doodle. He was like a son to me. But I'm sure glad things are back to normal. Well, goodnight, sweet prince.

'''Gary:''' (with a crown on) Meow.

'''SpongeBob:''' Goodnight, magic pencil. (Falls asleep)

(DoodleBob's arm comes in the pineapple, uses the restroom, breaks into the room and grabs the pencil and begins to redraw himself. SpongeBob hears the commotion and wakes up)

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh hey, Magic Pencil. What are you doing up? Drawing yourself a glass of water? Hahahahahahahahaha! (DoodleBob reveals himself with the pencil redrawn) Aah, DoodleBob! Uh...(chuckles nervously) No hard feelings, right? (DoodleBob draws an angry look in his face) What do you think you're doing, doodle?

'''DoodleBob:''' You doodle! Me SpongeBob! (they chase downstairs and DoodleBob follows him and erases any obstacle in his path from SpongeBob. SpongeBob hides in his kitchen and locks the door. DoodleBob erases the door...and the back of SpongeBob's pants, revealing his butt.) Huh? (Erases his butt before threatening him with the eraser)

'''SpongeBob:''' Ah! Be careful with that thing! Who knows what will happen? (DoodleBob erases his nose) My nose. (DoodleBob erases some parts of his face and body and chuckles evilly) Very funny, doodle. Now it's my turn. (they play tug of war with the pencil and the pencil breaks in half. SpongeBob has the lead and draws the rest of his face.) Well, doodle, it looks like this is a draw. (Points the point of his pencil at DoodleBob. DoodleBob sharpens the pencil so that he now has both sides.) You've made your point, no matter, I was voted most artistic in high school. (it falls out the window when he plays with it and hits Squidward.)

'''Squidward:''' (from outside) Ow! SpongeBob, you're gonna pay for that!!!!

'''SpongeBob:''' Or maybe it was most clumsy. (DoodleBob starts renewing his threat with the eraser as SpongeBob hides on a shelf, and knocks over some papers. As DoodleBob prepares to deliver the eraser to the trapped SpongeBob he then gets his foot stuck in a piece of paper on the floor which magically attaches to his foot. DoodleBob struggles desperately to get unstuck)

DoodleBob: (gibberishly) Huh?! I'm stuck. Somebody help me!!! I am stuck!!!

SpongeBob: Huh? Paper! Page for Mr. Doodle! (DoodleBob glares at him one last time before SpongeBob smashes him with a notebook. Screaming is heard as DoodleBob magically attaches to the paper and SpongeBob looks inside to see DoodleBob shrunk inside the notebook and as he is preserved as a drawing. he smiles)

(the next day spongebob hangs the drawing of DoodleBob on his wall as a sign of his triumph)

'''Patrick:''' Hey, SpongeBob, what's with all the ruckus?

'''SpongeBob:''' Take a look for yourself, Patrick.

'''Patrick:''' (gasps) It's the evil doodle!

'''SpongeBob:''' No, no, not evil. (Acts like a professor) He was just a two-dimensional creature lost in our three-dimensional aquatic world longing for a purpose.

'''Patrick:''' So...he's a drawing?

'''SpongeBob:''' Exactly! See how happy he is now?

'''Patrick:''' (Looks at the smiling DoodleBob) He still looks kind of creepy.

(Later SpongeBob is seen on a diving board with the casted pencil)

'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, great magic pencil, your powers are too mighty for us ocean dwellers. So I will send you back to the magic kingdom from where you came. Are you ready, Patrick?

'''Patrick:''' Ready! (SpongeBob drops the pencil in Patrick's mouth and jumps on Patrick's belly, and the pencil is launched back to the surface)

(Cut to the surface where we see the artist lying in a fetal position in his boat.)

'''French Narrator: We rejoin the artist in a creative slump. (The pencil launches back into the boat)

'''Artist:''' Huh? What's this? My pencil! (he draws a line, but the pencil breaks and the artist begins sobbing)

'''French Narrator:''' The second most important rule for the artist at sea: Always bring a pencil sharpener.

'''Artist:''' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{Transcripts/Season 2}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

All that Glitters (Episode)

2017-01-22T16:22:57Z

98.232.107.202: /* Plot */

{{EpInfo|All that Glitters|Titlecard-All that Glitters.jpg|72a|4|2 June 2006|Karate Island|Wishing You Well}}
{{EpInfo2|SpongeBob SquarePants|Tom Kenny}}
{{EpInfo2|Patrick Star|Bill Fagerbakke}}
{{EpInfo2|Squidward Tentacles|Rodger Bumpass}}
{{EpInfo2|Mr. Krabs|Clancy Brown}}
|-
!colspan="2"|<center>[[File:Lepfannenwender.jpg|300px]]</center>[[Le Spatula]]
© Viacom
|-
|}

'''All That Glitters''' is an episode from [[Season 4]].

==Plot==
At the Krusty Krab, an overweight fish orders a [[Monster Krabby Patty]]. This shocks SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs and the customers. So [[Hans]] drop the Monster Patty on the grill and SpongeBob tries to flip it, but his spatula (named Spat) accidentally explodes and catches fire. SpongeBob starts hysterically screaming and crying everywhere he goes, but after thirteen times of uncontrollable crying, nothing happens. He feels he is unable to work without Spat, and Spat feels the same way, so Spat checks himself into the hospital, with SpongeBob following him. He sees him in the bed and SpongeBob goes through a flashback of what they have done together. Then the doctor tells SpongeBob that he should get another spatula to replace the broken spatula and SpongeBob becomes depressed.

He leaves the hospital, believing that nothing else could replace Spat, until he sees a high-tech device called: ''LE SPATULA''. SpongeBob gives into temptation and trades everything he has, including his pants, for his replacement spatula.

After purchasing his replacement spatula, SpongeBob goes back into the Krusty Krab and attempts to flip patties after Mr. Krabs sees the replacement spatula. ''LE SPATULA'' runs away because it does not like to be filthy (thereby defeating the purpose of a spatula) or SpongeBob himself. All the customers are upset with their inability to get their food, and SpongeBob goes back to the hospital. However, before he gets to see Spat, the doctor tells him it is too late. He then watches a spatula die, but then he finds out that the spatula he just saw was not his spatula; his spatula was well patched up and taken to the Infirmary. The doctor had told SpongeBob that he did not get an acting role, not that Spat had died.

SpongeBob is delighted that Spat is back but Spat refuses to forgive SpongeBob. SpongeBob walks back to the Krusty Krab crying uncontrollably, and enters the kitchen. There he sees Spat cooking Krabby Patties. Now reunited, Spat and SpongeBob still have to flip the Monster Patty, but this time, instead of Spat exploding again, SpongeBob's arms burst into flames. SpongeBob starts laughing, and the episode ends.

==Trivia/Goofs==
*[[Dee Bradley Baker]] voices Le Spatula.
*When SpongeBob says that there's only one spatula for him, this is not true. In the book called SpongeBob DetectivePants: The Case of the Missing Spatula, SpongeBob had a different spatula named "Flipper" though it's not considered canon.
*This episode was originally called "All Those Tears", but it was later changed to "All That Glitters".
*When SpongeBob breaks the fourth wall, it is a parody of a line from Shakespeare's play "The Merchant of Venice".
*The episode's title is a reference to the line ''All that glitters is not gold.'' SpongeBob even says it in this episode.
*This is one of the ten episodes in which the title card has an animation. The others are [[SB-129]], [[Pre-Hibernation Week]], [[One Krab's Trash]], [[Idiot Box]], [[SpongeBob Meets the Strangler]], [[Skill Crane]], [[Karate Island]], [[The Donut of Shame]], and [[The Krabby Kronicle]].
*Immediately after the theme song ends, there is about two second's worth of a pause before the title card pops up. This is the only episode to have the delay.
*The purple and gold 'Le Spatula' bag is surprisingly similar to the bag used for the Canadian made Crown Royal Whiskey.
*The Monster Krabby Patty is not seen more throughout the series, possibly because it was taken out of the menu so [[Spat]] wouldn't break.
*If you look carefully, there are scenes when the green button on Le Spatula disappears.
*It is revealed that [[Replacement Doctor]] from [[The Lost Mattress]] and [[Funny Pants]] is not really a doctor and is actually an actor searching for his role.
*This is the first episode to show SpongeBob using another spatula.
*Patrick's 2nd non-speaking role, the first [[Just One Bite]]. The next will be [[I ♥ Dancing (Episode)|I ♥ Dancing]].
*The salesman actually cheated SpongeBob out of all of his things by the look on his face.
*The fourth wall is broken when SpongeBob says "All that glitters is not gold" because he is looking straightly at the audience.

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Bikini Bottom]] Customers
*[[Spat]]
*[[Gary the Snail|Gary]]
*[[Replacement Doctor]]
*[[Le Spatula]]
*[[Fred]]
*[[Harold]]
*Pirate
*Fat Orange Guy
*[[Nat]]
*[[Evelyn]]
*Evelyn's unnamed daughter
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]

==Transcript==
*[[Episode Transcript: All That Glitters|Transcript for All That Glitters]]

{{Season4}}

[[Category:Episode]]
[[Category:Season 4]]

[[de:Alles, was glitzert (Episode)]]

Episode Transcript: A Life in a Day

2016-07-31T16:18:22Z

98.232.107.202: /* Dialogue */

{|border="1"
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|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Slide Whistle Stooges|Slide Whistle Stooges]]
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Episode Article: [[A Life in a Day (Episode)|A Life in a Day]]

==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick Star]]
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*People at [[Goo Lagoon]]
*Tough Guys

==Dialogue==
(Episode Starts at Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob is eating ice cream, while Patrick is tanning)

'''SpongeBob''': This is how to live, isn't it, my friend?

'''Patrick''': You said it buddy. (Larry comes in riding a motorcycle. SpongeBob and Patrick scream, and sand gets in their faces. Larry does flips, rides through a picnic blanket, and then pulls one of his breaks causing him to go in circles, getting more sand on SpongeBob and Patrick. He then rides on top of the pile of sand, and through the life guard station, causing it to set on fire, to everybody cheers.)

Pink Fish: He's amazing!

Frank: I'll say! (Larry then throws a basket ball into the hoop, then is about to fall, but he presses a button to cause a sky glider to come out, and he causes the flag on some children's sand castles to catch on fire)

Kids: Whoa! (the sky glider then comes off, and Larry stops. Everyone cheers, then Larry takes off his helmet)

Pink Fish: Who is that guy?

Fish 1: That's Larry the Lobster. He's like living large!

Peterson: What's your secret, Larry?

Larry: Well, you've gotta take risks. (Larry hops back on his motor cycle) Live on the edge. (Larry rides his motor cycle, then jumps off at the lagoon. He then gets on someones surf board upside down)

All: Ooh! (Larry then comes back to shore)

Larry: And you can't... Uh... You can't... (Hears SpongeBob and Patrick whimpering, then picks them up) And you can't live like these two. Just look at 'em. Spineless, (Larry shakes them) weak, (touches them, and they fall) afraid of their own shadows. (They see their shadows, scream, and whimper) Pathetic!

Peterson: Larry, how can they redeem there worthless lives?

Larry: I'll tell you how: by living each day as if it were their last!

'''Patrick''': How do we do that?

Larry: By living like me, Larry.

'''Patrick''': But what's that have... (Larry covers his mouth)

Larry: By living, like Larry.

Both: Living, like Larry.

Larry: Living like Larry! (walks away)

'''Patrick''': Living like Larry. Living like Larry. (cuts to later when SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing bubbles. Patrick is sighing, which is blowing the bubbles) This is bogus!

'''SpongeBob''': What's that Pat?

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, these are the best years of our lives, and you want to waste them blowing bubbles? We should be living in the moment! We outta be living like Lar... (hears sea horses) This is it SpongeBob! This is where we redeem are miserable lives! It's time to start... (jumps in the air, then stops) ...living like Larry! (he then goes back down, and onto the back of a sea horse, and he then rides around) Hey, SpongeBob! SpongeBob? (SpongeBob is on a kiddie ride outside a grocery store)

'''SpongeBob''': I'm living like Larry! Woo-hoo! (cuts to later at SpongeBob's house. Patrick kicks the door down, and he is all bandaged up)

'''Patrick''': Where were you SpongeBob? That was awesome! (picks up SpongeBob, and runs outside)

'''SpongeBob''': Hey Patrick, where you going?

'''Patrick''': To live my friend! We are going to live! (cuts to "A-1 Wreckers") This is going to be the best fun yet! (a boat gets smashed from the sides, then from the front and back, then from the top, then a giant spatula puts in a pile of boats, then three flame throwers burn it, then a giant fist comes down and punches it)

'''SpongeBob''': I don't know about this Patrick.

'''Patrick''': You must defeat your reason, before you can start... (jumps up in the air again, then stops) ...living like Larry! (he then goes into a boat) Wo-hoo! SpongeBob, this is it! (he gets smashed from the sides, then cuts back to SpongeBob as the rest happens. Cuts to SpongeBob's house where he is putting the letters of the alphabet on his pairs of socks)

Music: [[Livin' Like Larry (Song)|Livin' Like Larry]]
'''SpongeBob''': De dee do dee do livin' like Larry.
Dee dee dee doo livin' like Larry.
Deedeedeedee livin' like Larry.

(Patrick barges through the door in the boat. He then falls, then breaks out of it)

'''Patrick''': Come on SpongeBob! What are you waiting for? Let's go! (SpongeBob and Patrick run outside. Cuts to later when they are still running)

'''SpongeBob''': Uh, Patrick, where are we going?

'''Patrick''': Just you wait! it's the ultimate! (they run onto a giant ramp that leads into a trench) What do you think? And wait 'till you see the best part! (stomps on the ramp) Hey you guys. (lots of monsters are in the trench)

'''SpongeBob''': I don't know Patrick, this looks very danger... (Patrick attaches a skate board on SpongeBob's back, then does so with him)

'''Patrick''': Here's to living like Larry!

'''SpongeBob''': Well, wait a minute Patrick, I think your missing the point. "Living like Larry" doesn't mean throwing caution to the wind, and risking everything on a stunt that will cost you your life.

'''Patrick''': Don't you mean, cost ''us our lives'' SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': No Patrick, I mean your life. I'm not going.

'''Patrick''': Oh gee. And that's your final word on the subject?

'''SpongeBob''': Mm-mm.

'''Patrick''': I feel sorry for you. (goes down the ramp to the trench with all the monsters in it. Scene then cuts to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob is working)

'''SpongeBob''': I wonder how Patrick's doing with his "living like Larry" thing.

'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! (SpongeBob looks out the window) SpongeBob! (Patrick is being chased by tough fish on motor cycles. He then runs into the Krusty Krab) You were right SpongeBob! I went too far! I went too far!

'''SpongeBob''': Oh it's okay buddy, I think you learned your lesson. Hmm?

'''Patrick''': Uh-uh.

Tough Guy 1: Don't make us come in there kid!

'''SpongeBob''': Now you just let me handle those guys out there. (SpongeBob walks outside) Gentlemen, Gentlemen.

All: What the...?

'''SpongeBob''': I know that you might be angry at my friend for his shenanigans, but you are not the only victim. His reckless thrill chasing as made him a hollow shell of his former self. Just look (scene reveals Patrick is a shell) So let me assure you, his days of "living in the moment" are over. Can you not forgive him for what ever he did? (they thin)

Tough Guy 2: Sure pal. Sure.

'''SpongeBob''': By the way, what did he do that made you all so cranky? (SpongeBob leans on there motor cycles, and they fall)

Tough Guy 2: He knocked over our motor cycles! (SpongeBob laughs nervously, then they chase SpongeBob and Patrick)

'''SpongeBob''': So scared! Adrenaline pumping! (getting excited) Spine tingling! Endorphins rushing! I've never felt so alive! Oh, yeah baby, yeah! This is what Patrick was talking about! This is really living in the moment! Woo-yeah! This is life! Woo, woo, yeah, woo! (gets knocked in the air by a motor cycle) Now I am finally living like Larry! (cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick on top of a giant knife)

'''Patrick''': Are you sure about this SpongeBob?

'''SpongeBob''': Oh come on Patrick, what happened to being in the moment?

'''Patrick''': I don't know SpongeBob, this looks pretty dangerous.

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, yeah, you said it buddy! Now we're really living like Larry! (Larry notices them on the knife)

Larry: Well, would you look at that. Now there's two guys who know how to live!

'''SpongeBob''': Prepare for countdown!

'''Larry''': I'm proud of them. (takes a closer look) Wait a minute, with that angle of trajectory, they'll land right in, rippers reef! They'll be ripped to shreds! (runs over with a life saver) Wait, don't do it! Stop!

'''SpongeBob''': 3-2-1 Liftoff. (pulls a rope, which causes the knife to set off)

Larry: Drat! (uses the life saver to catch on to the knife, then goes up in the air)Look guys, my advice wasn't meant to be taken literally, I meant to live life to the fullest, not demain yourselves. Look! (then notice the reef)

'''Patrick''': Uh oh!

'''Larry''': Nooooooooooooooooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (They crash into it, then cuts to scene of them in the hospital)

'''SpongeBob''': Hey, what are you two lazy bones doing lying around? There's a really cool ramp down the hall, I've got room for two more. What would Larry do?

Larry: (angry) What would Larry do? I'll show you what Larry would do! (chases SpongeBob) Come here! Come here I said! Hey!

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}

[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]