Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/Part 4

Latest revision as of 19:14, 9 June 2025

[edit] Dialogue

[edit] Chapter 26: Now That We’re Men

Mindy: Come on, guys. (they don’t stop) Guys. (they still don’t stop) Guys? (they both drink their own tears) Ew. (time card appears)

French Narrator: Meanwhile... (Dennis drives his motorcycle through a bunch of skulls and laughs. One skull gains a poisoned look. Cut back to Mindy)

Mindy: Guys? (no answer) Oh... think, Mindy, think. (comes up with an idea) Yep, I guess you’re right. A couple of kids could never survive this journey. That’s why I guess I’ll just have to turn you into men. (SpongeBob and Patrick stop crying)

SpongeBob: You can do that? How?

Mindy: With my mermaid magic.

Seahorses: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!

SpongeBob: Did you hear that, Patrick? She’ll use her mermaid magic to turn us into men!

Patrick: Are we dead? (in Musical) How shall we get to Shell City?

Mindy: (in musical fashion) No fear. You’ll fly up and get to Shell City. King Neptune may be ruler, and... (trumpeting) you’ll get your happy ending.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! We’re gonna be men! We’re gonna be men! We’re gonna be men!

Mindy: Good. Now, let’s get started. Close your eyes.

SpongeBob: Are we men yet?

Mindy: Not yet. Spin around three times.

SpongeBob: (whispers) I think it’s working. (they turn around three times like they are doing ballet)

Mindy: Good. Now, keep your eyes shut. (grabs two seaweed and puts them onto SpongeBob and Patrick as "mustaches") With my mermaid’s magic and my one tailfin, (Patrick giggles) I command the two of you to turn into men! Open your eyes.

SpongeBob: I don’t feel any... (notices that Patrick has a "mustache") Oh, my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache!

Patrick: So do you!

Mindy: So now that you’re men, can you make it to Shell City? (SpongeBob and Patrick adore their "mustaches") Guys!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Yeah?

Mindy: I said, now that you’re men, can you make it to Shell City?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Heck, yeah!

Mindy: Are men afraid of anything?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Heck, no!

Mindy: And why?

SpongeBob and Patrick: Because we’re invincible! (they jump into the trench) Yeah!

Mindy: I never said that!

(as they fall, SpongeBob and Patrick do tough moves)

SpongeBob: Patrick?

Patrick: Yeah, buddy?

SpongeBob: Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?

Patrick: Bec... well... (they both look down and see they’re falling toward the road. Both scream and hold on to each other)

SpongeBob: (a branch catches them and stops them from falling. They land safely on the ground) Patrick. No, far from it, my friend. We’re safe and sound at the bottom of this trench. The mustaches worked! Do you know what that means?

Patrick: We are invincible!

Music: Now That We’re Men

SpongeBob and Patrick: Now that we’re men, we can do anything. 

(an eel flips them in the sky and is about to eat them) 

Now that we’re men, we are invincible.

(a squid catches them but crashes in a tall piece of coral)

Now that we’re men, we’ll go to Shell City, 

(they slide down the coral and fly across 3 slow monsters. They then fall in a see-through fish)

get the crown, save the town, and Mr. Krabs. 

(they walk out of the end of it’s gut) 

Now that we’re men, 

(they walk between sea urchins)

SpongeBob: We have facial hair.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Now that we’re men,

(an urchin rips Patrick’s shorts off, revealing new underwear)

Patrick:  I change my underwear.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Now that we’re men, we've got a manly flair. 

(they walk over volcanoes switching on and off)

We've got the stuff. We’re tough enough to save the day. 

(they play hopscotch over lava rocks)

We never had a chance when we were kids. No! No! No! 

(they dodge a monster’s head, a green hand and a monstrous boulder)

But take a look at what the mermaid did. 

(they dodge a giant green crab who can’t even get a chance to pinch them)

Ha! Ha! Ha! 

(they walk onto a road which turns out to be a big, blue, one eyed angler fish’s fin. The two begin dancing and slapping their bodies)

SpongeBob: Yeah, go, Pat. (a green 3 eyed fish and a red squid appears with the purple one-eyed angler fish. While SpongeBob and Patrick are slapping their bodies and legs, the green 3 eyed fish beckons an big orange fish, a purple lobster/dragon, a green one eyed monster with 3 arms on its head, a snail with its eyes on its shell, a big yellow monster with an eye on a stalk and a clam with one eye in its mouth)

Patrick: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

SpongeBob: Oh yeah.

Patrick: Yeah, go SpongeBob. (they both finish by touching the tip of their toes) Ah!

Monsters: Hooray!

Monsters: Now that they’re men, 
We can’t bother them. 
Now that they’re men, they have become our friends. 
Now that they’re men, there’ll be a happy end. 
They’ll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown.
They’ll pass the test...

(monsters slap their bodies)

...and finish the quest.

(monsters slap their bodies again)

They’ll pass the test and finish the quest for the crown!

[edit] Chapter 27: Shell City, Dead Ahead

(the group happily reaches the top of a trench as SpongeBob notices a sign)

SpongeBob: "Shell City, dead ahead." We did it, Pat! We made it past everything! Even the hideous, disgusting monsters. (the monsters begin to walk away) Not you guys. You guys are awesome! (the monsters just keep walking) Well, Patrick, we should be there in one more verse.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Now that we’re men--

(they are interrupted by Dennis)

[edit] Chapter 28: First Encounter with Dennis

Dennis: Finally. I got you right where I want you.

SpongeBob: Can I help you with something, sir?

Dennis: Name’s Dennis. I've been hired to exterminate you.

SpongeBob: You’re gonna exterminate us? (they look at each other and laugh) Listen, junior, you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I’m gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won’t have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.

Dennis: You mean these? (rips SpongeBob and Patrick’s fake seaweed mustaches off of their faces. SpongeBob and Patrick whimper while feeling their cheeks in horror) I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime. (throws seaweed dramatically. Seaweed falls to the ground after a slight spin)

SpongeBob: They were fake?

Dennis: Of course they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like. (grows a real mustache)

Patrick: Is he a mermaid?

Dennis: All right. Enough gab.

SpongeBob: What are you gonna do to us?

Dennis: Plankton was very specific.

SpongeBob: Plankton?

Dennis: For some reason, he wanted me to step on you.

Patrick: Step on us?

Dennis: Yeah! That way, you’ll never find out that he stole the crown! (SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other again, this time, more scared) Uhhh... Perhaps I've said too much. (raises up his foot, ready to step on the two)

Patrick: That’s a big boot.

Dennis: Don’t worry. This will only hurt a lot. (laughs maniacally) I love this job! (continues laughing. An extremely large boot ironically stomps on him)

[edit] Chapter 29: The Cyclops

Patrick: Bigger boot! (starts to run away, but SpongeBob stops him)

SpongeBob: Wait, Pat. This bigger boot saved our lives.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Thank you, stranger. (scuba diver doesn’t respond)

SpongeBob: (looks up) Uhh... Stranger? (the scuba diver looks at them. Points at him) It’s the Cyclops! (the two try to run, but the Cyclops grabs them and takes them with him as he walks away. Fade to black)

[edit] Chapter 30: The "Wall of Psychic Energy"

(fade in on SpongeBob sometime later. He and Patrick have recovered on a bed of colorful tank pebbles)

Patrick: Are we dead?

SpongeBob: I don’t think so. (inspects the ground) Artificially colored rocks? (Patrick eats the pebbles) I don’t know where we are. (bumps into glass) What is this?

Patrick: It’s some kind of wall of psychic energy. (taps the glass)

SpongeBob: No, Pat, it’s a giant glass bowl. (camera zooms out to show that they’re inside a fishbowl) Hey, there’s some fish folk. (camera unblurs to show some fish knick-Knacks on the shelves and nooks)

[edit] Chapter 31: The Truth About Shell City

SpongeBob and Patrick: Hey, over here! Hey! Hey! Hey, you guys! You guys, hey! Help! Hey! Help! A little help here! We’re stuck in this... (Patrick stops yelling. Cut to 3 knick-knacks, some seahorses, a pufferfish (Mr.Puff), and a mariachi band of fish)

SpongeBob: Wait a second. Those fish are... (cut to a zoomed-in shot of SpongeBob’s mouth) dead. What’s he gonna do to us? (the Cyclops appears and takes out a small toolbox) Oh no, he’s going for his "evil instruments of torture." (the Cyclops takes out glue and google eyes) Glue? Google eyes? He’s making a humorous diorama of... (the Cyclops glues the google eyes on a clam, and puts a hat on it and a play phone near it) ...Alexander Clam Bell? Patrick, he’s killing sea animals and making them into smelly knickknacks. And I think we’re next.

Patrick: You think so? (the Cyclops takes Patrick out of the bowl)

SpongeBob: Patrick! No! (the Cyclops takes SpongeBob out of the bowl as well and puts both on a table involving a heating lamp)

[edit] Chapter 32: The Drying Rack

SpongeBob: The heat is so intense from this lamp that I can’t move. (the Cyclops laughs maniacally)

Patrick: Tell me about it.

SpongeBob: This doesn’t look too good, Patrick.

Patrick: (in a old man voice) You mean we’re not gonna get the crown, save the town and Mr. Krabs?

SpongeBob: I don’t even think we’re gonna be able to save ourselves, buddy. (his arm falls off. Patrick puts it back)

SpongeBob: Thanks.

Patrick: Don’t mention it.

SpongeBob: Well, it looks like what everybody said about us is true, Patrick.

Patrick: You mean that we’re attractive?

SpongeBob: No, that we’re just kids. A couple of kids in way over their heads. We were doomed from the start. I mean, look at us. We didn’t even come close to the crown. We let everybody down. We failed.

Patrick: Shell City.

SpongeBob: Yeah, we never made it to Shell City.

Patrick: Shell City.

SpongeBob: Exactly, buddy. Yeah, the place we never got to.

Patrick: Shell City.

SpongeBob: OK, now you’re starting to bum me out, Patrick.

Patrick: No, look at the sign. (SpongeBob sees what he was talking about: a sign by the door) "Shell City. Marine gifts and sundries."

SpongeBob: Shell City is a gift shop? But if this is Shell City, then where’s the--? (cut to a zoomed-out shot, revealing Neptune’s crown sitting on a cushion)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Crown!

SpongeBob: Neptune’s crown. This is Shell City. Pat, we did make it. Yeah, I guess we did. We did all right for a couple of goofballs. (both shed one tear of joy; weakly) I’m a Goofy Goober, yeah...

SpongeBob and Patrick: You’re a Goofy Goober, yeah... (camera pans down as their tears merge into a single heart-shaped teardrop) We’re all Goofy Goobers, yeah. (Screen goes back up to show the two drying) Goofy, goofy, goober, goober, yeah (the two dehydrate and die. Camera zooms out to reveal the theater, where all of the pirates are still in the audience)

Captain: That’s the end of SpongeBob. (to a pirate) Come here, you. (hugs him tight when a parrot lands on his shoulder)

Captain’s Parrot: (squawks) Shut up and look at the screen.

Captain: The bird’s right. Look! (cut back to the movie to show the teardrop again) It be the tear of the Goofy Goobers. (the teardrop reverts to its original shape and rolls down the lamp’s wire into the electrical outlet. The outlet short-circuits and lets out smoke, causing the sprinklers to turn on. They come back to life from the water and suffocate for one second)